Faction:
Ironblood Kaiserreich (German Empire)
​
Class:
Von der Tann-class Battlecruiser
​
Background:
SMS Von der Tann, the first German battlecruiser ever designed and commissioned for the Kaiserliche Marine, and by extension, the German state overall, was developed under the auspices of the Anglo-German Naval Arms Race that lasted from 1898 until 1912. She was developed in response to the British Invincible-class Battlecruisers, the world’s first battlecruisers, of which all three (Invincible, Inflexible & Indomitable) were launched by that point. At first, the initial response was the completion of Germany’s armored cruiser, SMS Blücher, after German intelligence services leaked what was ultimately incorrect specifications for the Invincibles, and modifying the armored cruiser to match. But when the Invincible’s proved to still be every bit superior to the Armored Cruiser and all Armored Cruisers before and since, the large cruiser design for 1907 would now need to be developed to properly counter the Invincible’s.
This led to the development of “Cruiser F,” a ship that would be equipped with eight 280mm (11”) main guns with a secondary battery of eight 150mm (5.9”) guns with a minimum top speed of 23 knots (43 km/h or 26 mph). Multiple design possibilities began in 1906 and continued into 1907, but the final design, Design 2c1, was approved and Kaiser Wilhelm II would authorize its construction on 22 June 1907, giving it the name Von der Tann. The ship’s contract would be awarded to Blohm und Voss shipyards in Hamburg, and Von der Tann would be laid down on 21 March 1908, and was launched on 20 March 1909. The launching ceremony would be attended by Luitpold Freiherr von und zu der Tann-Rathsamhausen, a nephew of the ship’s namesake and commander of the German Army’s III Royal Bavarian Corps. She was commissioned into the Imperial German Navy on 1 September 1910, with a crew largely consisting of crewmates from SMS Rheinland due to chronic shortages in manpower for the Navy.
After completing her sea trials, Von der Tann was sent to South America in 1911 for the purpose of securing “arms contracts” for Argentina and Brazil, using her as an advertisement for what was perceived to be the “fastest and most powerful warship afloat.” During this tour, she would travel to Rio de Janeiro and receive Brazilian President Hermes da Fonseca, himself the nephew of Deodoro da Fonseca, the man who ended the Brazilian monarchy and became the country’s first president. Upon her return to Germany, Von der Tann would join I Scouting Group, with her first major point upon joining being the embarking of Crown Prince Wilhelm and his wife Cecilie to Great Britain for the coronation of King George V.
Upon the outbreak of World War I in July 1914, Von der Tann was first dispatched as part of the unsuccessful search for British battlecruisers in the aftermath of the First Battle of Heligoland Bight in August. Though Von der Tann was ready to go for the battle, her departure was hampered by low-tide, which prohibited her and the other battlecruisers from crossing the Jade sandbar until 1410 hours. Upon her arrival, it was to cover the withdrawal of the German light cruisers before returning to base.
Later that year, in November 1914, Von der Tann would take part in the Raid on Yarmouth, as well the Raid on Scarborough, Whitby & Hartlepool the following month. As Von der Tann was going through routine repairs leading up to it, the raid was delayed by several days as the commander of the High Seas Fleet, Hugo von Ingenohl, did not want to deploy the I Scouting Group at anything less than full strength. The raid, taking place on 15-16 December 1914, would see Von Der Tann shell Scarborough and Whitby alongside Derfflinger, destroying the coast guard stations in both towns, as well as the signaling station in the latter town before retreating eastwards. Von der Tann would undergo a refit beginning at the end of December 1914, and was still undergoing refit by the time of the Battle of Dogger Bank in January 1915. As such, this led to SMS Blücher being sent in her place. Ironically, the ship that was the initial response to the first British Battlecruisers, would ultimately be sunk by those types of ships, including one of the ships she was intended to counter, HMS Indomitable. Unfortunately, a detachment of men assigned to Von der Tann was onboard Blücher, and went down with the ship.
In the summer of 1915, Von der Tann would take part in operations in the Baltic, with the battlecruiser shelling the Russian fortress at Utö in the Grand Duchy of Finland. She would also engage in an artillery duel, first with the armored cruiser HIRMS Admiral Makarov, and later on with armored cruiser HIRMS Bayan and five destroyers. Von der Tann would also take part in the bombardment of Yarmouth and Lowestoft on 24-25 April 1916.
The Battle of Jutland on 1 June 1916, saw Von der Tann on the rearmost of the five battlecruisers that made up Admiral Franz von Hipper’s battle line, and would encounter the British battlecruiser squadron under Admiral David Beatty at 1600 hours CET. (Central European Time) Though the German ships was the first to fire, Von der Tann would fire her first shot at 1649 hours, targeting the battlecruiser HMS Indefatigable. Over the course of the following fourteen minutes, the battlecruiser would fire 52 rounds from her main guns, with five being confirmed hits. One of these hits however would cause Indefatigable to explode and sink. Following Indefatigable’s destruction, Von der Tann would herself come under fire from British battleships of the 5th Battle Squadron, HMS Barham, HMS Malaya & HMS Valiant, with Barham scoring a hit on the Von der Tann, dislodging a section of the belt armor, and temporarily disabling the steering gear, a move that as has been said, were it not rectified, would have seen Von der Tann effectively delivered into the hands of the British Battleships, and suffer the same fate that befell Blücher.
Another shell would hit Von der Tann, this time from HMS Tiger, which dislodged the turret armor and disabled the turret training gear of the battlecruiser’s “A” turret, effectively putting it out of action for the remainder of the battle. Another shell would hit near “C” turret, also putting that turret out of action until the wreckage could be cut away. Despite this, the battlecruiser kept the fight going, managing to score a hit on Barham, before the guns of the last working turret jammed in their mounts, leaving the battlecruiser unable to fire her main armament. Despite this, she continued to remain in the battle line, moving erratically to avoid any British gunfire. She would suffer her fourth and final major hit of the battle, when a shell from Revenge struck the aft conning tower, killing the Third Gunnery Officer and both rangefinder operators, as well as wounding everyone that was in the tower. Fragments of the shell would also knock out the condenser and the power to the ship’s lights. With Von der Tann suffering damage along with many German battlecruisers severely damaged, the decision was made for the I Scouting Group to withdraw from combat operations. During the battle Von der Tann fired 170 main gun and 98 secondary shells, and her casualties amounted to 11 dead and 35 wounded.
After undergoing repairs that would last until 29 July 1916, Von der Tann, being one of two battlecruisers still in fighting condition by that point, would engage in a number of unsuccessful raids, none of which achieved the goal of luring out portions of the Grand Fleet to defeat in detail. This would culminate in plans to launch a final fleet action against the Grand Fleet, intending to gain a better negotiating position once the Armistice took effect. But war-weary sailors, refusing to engage in actions that would prolong the war would mutiny. For Von der Tann, some 300 sailors from the ship and from Moltke would climb over the side of the ship and disappear ashore whilst the pair passed through the locks that separated Wilhelmshaven inner harbor and roadstead. The overall mutiny forced Hipper to cancel the operation and would contribute not only to the capitulation of Germany that brought World War I to a close, but also to the end of the German monarchy and with it the Revolution of 1918-1919.
Von der Tann was one of many warships interned at Scapa Flow, while negotiations regarding its fate would be decided at Versailles. On 21 June 1919, not aware that the deadline for negotiations had extended and with the belief that Britain would seize the ships, Admiral Adolf von Trotha would execute the order to scuttle the ships, with Von der Tann sinking in two hours and fifteen minutes. Von der Tann’s wreck would be raised in 1930 and scrapped at Rosyth beginning in 1931.
​
Namesake:
Von der Tann is named for Ludwig von und zu der Tann-Rathsamhausen, a general of the infantry in service to the Kingdom of Bavaria. Born in Darmstadt on the day of the Battle of Waterloo, he became an officer of the Bavarian Army, and over time became the close personal friend of Crown Prince Maximilian, the future Maximilian II, serving in a Bavarian light corps in support of Schleswiger Germans during the First Schleswig War against Denmark (1848-1851). During the Austro-Prussian War (1866), Von der Tann, fighting as an ally of Austria, served as aide-de-camp for Prince Karl Theodor von Wittelsbach, and the unfavorable outcome of the war led to attacks on the press about him (with many historians believing it was unwarranted due to general lack of interest in the war dooming Bavaria’s and many South German states’ chances in the war)
Despite this, he continued to enjoy the favor of Maximillian’s successor, Ludwig II, and in his capacity as commander of I Royal Bavarian Corps, led Bavaria into supporting Prussia in the Franco-Prussian War (1870-1871), a war that secured his reputation as one of the foremost of German soldiers. His gallantry proved his worth in the Battles of Wörth and Sedan, and conducted operations in the Loire, successfully securing Orléans independently and with support from Friedrich Franz II, Grand Duke of Mecklenburg-Schwerin.
​
Rarity:
SR
​
Stat Spread:
As Germany’s first Battlecruiser, Von der Tann’s stats are fairly impressive, sporting average firepower (B) and HP pool (B). While her speed is fairly decent (C), her Anti-Aircraft capabilities are still fairly poor (D), as is her Torpedo stat (D).
​
Abilities:

• Der Unbezwingbare Freiherr (The Indomitable Baron): Increase this ship’s firepower and Crit Rate by 5% (15%). 10 Seconds after the start of battle, and for every 30 seconds afterwards, launch a unique barrage, damage being based on skill level.
• Tiring the Indefatigable: Increase damage dealt to enemy Battlecruisers by 10% (20%).

​
Personality:
Von der Tann falls into the archetype of a stern teacher; cool, strict and practical. She is an individual who wishes to see her students do the best they can and mark their own path to success.
​
Quotes:

• Acquisition: Grüße, Kommandant. (Greetings, Commander.) I am Von der Tann, the first of the Ironblood’s battlecruisers. Now then, let’s cut to the chase. I want you to list me all ships in need of further tutelage.
• Secretary (Idle) 1: I am simply a teacher, I have no desire to ask what affairs trouble the imperial family, Komandant.
• Secretary (Idle) 2: The Homunculus? Mein gott, do you need to bring that up?
• Secretary (Idle) 3: Hey! Get your head out of the clouds, back to work! Chop-chop!
• Secretary (Touch): Any questions, Kommandant?
• Secretary (Special Touch): *cracks knuckles* You’re knocking on trouble’s door if you keep this up.
• Skill Activation: Let me teach you a lesson not to underestimate me.
• Affinity (Disappointed): Continue this business, and I will personally make sure you’re out of the navy before you say the word “Commander.”
• Affinity (Stranger): Kommandant, I believe you are in need of some lessons to refresh your skills. Allow me to assist in that endeavor.
• Affinity (Friendly): Do you find my designs appealing to you? I can show you some alternatives, if you wish.
• Affinity (Like): You’re an inspiration to us all. Someone who isn’t afraid to take time to help everyone here in port. For that you have earned my respect.
• Affinity (Love): While a lot of the kids out there may think of me as a mean teacher, I’m always out there looking out for them like they’re my own children. It’s not wrong to think of the future, for shipgirls and humans alike.
• Oath: If you think this ring will save you from your future coursework, then I’m afraid you’re mistaken. But you put in the effort to believe in me, so I must redouble my efforts to believe in you.
• Sortie (Moltke): You’re confident, but don’t get too excited, we don’t want any more happy accidents.
• Sortie (SMS Großer Kurfürst and/or Bayern): Try and keep up.
• Sortie (Alaska): Hope your skills aren’t for show.
• Sortie (Lyon): Is it faith, or is it luck that earned you victory over us the first time?
• Sortie (Graf Spee): Even if it feels like it, know that you are not alone, Von Spee.
• Sortie (Nassau): Calm yourself, Nassau. You’re going to get yourself killed if you keep that up.
• Sortie (Houshou): The power of aircraft, hm? How novel…
• Sortie (Valiant and/or Revenge): You two are a handful.

​
Design:
Von der Tann is depicted as a woman in her mid-twenties with mid-back length snow white hair and light blue eyes. A braid in the style of a hairband forms around the top of her head. Her attire, being based on Kaiserliche Marine uniforms, consists of a black button-up jacket with white centerpiece and gold buttons. Her emblem appears as a button on the right side of the collar on her jacket. White trousers and black shoes round out Von der Tann’s attire. She also carries in her hand a smoking pipe made of lacquered European Ash.
Her rigging, returning to the simpler style of earlier Ironblood rigging, and in fact is devoid of the Siren imagery, is a simple split bow-rigging style with two of her twin 280mm main guns jutting out at the sides of it, and her superstructure joining the two together in a ring-style.
​
A/N:
We begin Operation Weissenburg with the Tier III German Battlecruiser and first German Battlecruiser, SMS Von der Tann. Parts of her design and personality is based on an earlier work designed by u/castass, so I wish to offer my special thanks for his help in developing the work, though I wanted to play up her role as a teacher of sorts than anything overly referential to her history and that of the Hochseeflotte. Will that change with future ships? Probably, who knows for certain...
As always, if you want to suggest a ship or retrofit in the future, please leave it in the comments below, you can also reach me via DM's to make your suggestions as well. Next time we're going to take a look at HMS Hood...but the HMS Hood that you know, that one is already in the game. Rather, we're going to take a look at a unique subclass of the 1891 Royal Sovereign-class, which could be considered to be the first class of Royal Navy ships to be wholly referred to as "Pre-Dreadnought Battleships." In this we're going to take a look at the 1891 incarnation of HMS Hood.
Link to the list of ships

On February 9th there was a paper released talking about how incredible it would be if AI could use tools. 42 days later we had Chatgpt plugins. The speed with which we are advancing is truly unbelievable, incredibly exciting and also somewhat terrifying.
Here's some of the things that happened in the past week
(I'm not associated with any person, company or tool)
​

• Some pretty famous people (Musk, Wozniak + others) have signed a letter (?) to pause the work done on AI systems more powerful than gpt4. Very curious to hear what people think about this. On one hand I can understand the sentiment, but hypothetically even if this did happen, will this actually accomplish anything? I somehow doubt it tbh [Link]
• Here is a concept of Google Brain from back in 2006 (!). You talk with Google and it lets you search for things and even pay for them. Can you imagine if Google worked on something like this back then? Absolutely crazy to see [Link]
• OpenAI has invested into ‘NEO’, a humanoid robot by 1X. They believe it will have a big impact on the future of work. ChatGPT + robots might be coming sooner than expected [Link]. They want to create human-level dexterous robots [Link]
• There’s a ‘code interpreter’ for ChatGPT and its so good, legit could do entire uni assignments in less than an hour. I would’ve loved this in uni. It can even scan dB’s and analyse the data, create visualisations. Basically play with data using english. Also handles uploads and downloads [Link]
• AI is coming to Webflow. Build components instantly using AI. Particularly excited for this since I build websites for people using Webflow. If you need a website built I might be able to help 👀 [Link]
• ChatGPT Plugin will let you find a restaurant, recommend a recipe and build an ingredient list and let you purchase them using Instacart [Link]
• Expedia showcased their plugin and honestly already better than any wbesite to book flights. It finds flights, resorts and things to do. I even built a little demo for this before plugins were released 😭 [Link]. The plugin just uses straight up english. We’re getting to a point where if you can write, you can create [Link]
• The Retrieval plugin gives ChatGPT memory. Tell it anything and it’ll remember. So if you wear a mic all day, transcribe the audio and give it to ChatGPT, it’ll remember pretty much anything and everything you say. Remember anything instantly. Crazy use cases for something like this [Link]
• ChadCode plugin lets you do search across your files and create issues into github instantly. The potential for something like this is crazy. Changes coding forever imo [Link]
• The first GPT-4 built iOS game and its actually on the app store. Mate had no experience with Swift, all code generated by AI. Soon the app store will be flooded with AI built games, only a matter of time [Link]
• Real time detection of feelings with AI. Honestly not sure what the use cases are but I can imagine people are going to do crazy things with stuff like this [Link]
• Voice chat with LLama on you Macbook Pro. I wrote about this in my newsletter, we won’t be typing for much longer imo, we’ll just talk to the AI like Jarvis [Link]
• Nerfs for cities, looks cool [Link]
• People in the Midjourney subreddit have been making images of an earthquake that never happened and honestly the images look so real its crazy [Link]
• This is an interesting comment by Mark Cuban. He suggests maybe people with liberal arts majors or other degrees could be prompt engineers to train models for specific use cases and task. Could make a lot of money if this turns out to be a use case. Keen to hear peoples thoughts on this one [Link]
• Emad Mostaque, Ceo of Stability AI estimates building a GPT-4 competitor would be roughly 200-300 million if the right people are there [Link]. He also says it would take at least 12 months to build an open source GPT-4 and it would take crazy focus and work [Link]
• • A 3D artist talks about how their job has changed since Midjourney came out. He can now create a character in 2-3 days compared to weeks before. They hate it but even admit it does a better job than them. It's honestly sad to read because I imagine how fun it is for them to create art. This is going to affect a lot of people in a lot of creative fields [Link]
• This lad built an entire iOS app including payments in a few hours. Relatively simple app but sooo many use cases to even get proof of concepts out in a single day. Crazy times ahead [Link]
• Someone is learning how to make 3D animations using AI. This will get streamlined and make some folks a lot of money I imagine [Link]
• These guys are building an ear piece that will give you topics and questions to talk about when talking to someone. Imagine taking this into a job interview or date 💀 [Link]
• What if you could describe the website you want and AI just makes it. This demo looks so cool dude website building is gona be so easy its crazy [Link]
• Wear glasses that will tell you what to say by listening in to your conversations. When this tech gets better you won’t even be able to tell if someone is being AI assisted or not [Link]
• The Pope is dripped tf out. I’ve been laughing at this image for days coz I actually thought it was real the first time I saw it 🤣 [Link]
• Levi’s wants to increase their diversity by showcasing more diverse models, except they want to use AI to create the images instead of actually hiring diverse models. I think we’re gona see much more of this tbh and it’s gona get a lot worse, especially for models because AI image generators are getting crazy good [Link]. Someone even created an entire AI modelling agency [Link]
• ChatGPT built a tailwind landing page and it looks really neat [Link]
• This investor talks about how he spoke to a founder who literally took all his advice and fed it to gpt-4. They even made ai generated answers using eleven labs. Hilarious shit tbh [Link]
• Someone hooked up GPT-4 to Blender and it looks crazy [Link]
• This guy recorded a verse and made Kanye rap it [Link]
• gpt4 saved this dogs life. Doctors couldn’t find what was wrong with the dog and gpt4 suggested possible issues and turned out to be right. Crazy stuff [Link]
• A research paper suggests you can improve gpt4 performance by 30% by simply having it consider “why were you wrong”. It then keeps generating new prompts for itself taking this reflection into account. The pace of learning is really something else [Link]
• You can literally asking gpt4 for a plugin idea, have it code it, then have it put it up on replit. It’s going to be so unbelievably easy to create a new type of single use app soon, especially if you have a niche use case. And you could do this with practically zero coding knowledge. The technological barrier to solving problems using code is disappearing before our eyes [Link]
• A soon to be open source AI form builder. Pretty neat [Link]
• Create entire videos of talking AI people. When this gets better we wont be able to distinguish between real and AI [Link]
• Someone made a cityscape with AI then asked Chatgpt to write the code to port it into VR. From words to worlds [Link]
• Someone got gpt4 to write an entire book. It’s not amazing but its still a whole book. I imagine this will become much easier with plugins and so much better with gpt5 & gpt6 [Link]
• Make me an app - Literally ask for an app and have it built. Unbelievable software by Replit. When AI gets better this will be building whole, functioning apps with a single prompt. World changing stuff [Link]
• Langchain is building open source AI plugins, they’re doing great work in the open source space. Can’t wait to see where this goes [Link]. Another example of how powerful and easy it is to build on Langchain [Link]
• Tesla removed sensors and are just using cameras + AI [Link]
• Edit 3d scenes with text in real time [Link]
• GPT4 is so good at understanding different human emotions and emotional states it can even effectively manage a fight between a couple. We’ve already seen many people talk about how much its helped them for therapy. Whether its good, ethical or whatever the fact is this has the potential to help many people without being crazy expensive. Someone will eventually create a proper company out of this and make a gazillion bucks [Link]
• You can use plugins to process video clips, so many websites instantly becoming obsolete [Link] [Link]
• The way you actually write plugins is describing an api in plain english. Chatgpt figures out the rest [Link]. Don’t believe me? Read the docs yourself [Link]
• This lad created an iOS shortcut that replaces Siri with Chatgpt [Link]
• Zapier supports 5000+ apps. Chatgpt + Zapier = infinite use cases [Link]
• I’m sure we’ve all already seen the paper saying how gpt4 shows sparks of AGI but I’ll link it anyway. “we believe that it could reasonably be viewed as an early (yet still incomplete) version of an artificial general intelligence (AGI) system.” [Link]
• This lad created an AI agent that, given a task, creates sub tasks for itself and comes up with solutions for them. It’s actually crazy to see this in action, I highly recommend watching this clip [Link]. Here’s the link to the “paper” and his summary of how it works [Link]
• Someone created a tool that listens to your job interview and tells you what to say. Rip remote interviews [Link]
• Perplexity just released their app, a Chatgpt alternative on your phone. Instant answers + cited sources [Link]

​
I write about the implications of all the crazy new advancements happening in AI for people who don't have the time to do their own research. If you'd like to stay in the know you can sub here :)

Today i had to literally do 5 captchas in a row including the ones where the images fades away slowly(one image took over 10 seconds to fade out and a new one in), just to post a single post on reddit because i am using a VPN and a set up my browser in a way a use JavaScript as little as possible and minimize fingerprinting as much as possible and browsing becomes a chore, if you don't open yourself like a book and let google, reddit, amazon or whatever company track you over every single website you visit i get the feeling they are purposefully throwing such annoying inconviniences into your way just to force you to make yourself traceable.
Today i tried to create a TikTok Account to get into contact with a lost friend, i tried to do this over my computer created an email specifically for it and they literally force you to use phone app once to verify you what the hell is this? unwilling to install that chinese spyware onto my phone i used an Android VM and verified myself that way, and now i am unable to follow anyone or message anyone and theres nothing i can do about it.
Try visiting Reddit in your phones browser they force you to install their spyware app just to track you better and sell your data why do people just don't care about their data and privacy anymore do they just not understand the value of privacy? i asked many people and i always get the same answer "Meh, they have my data already anyways so why should i care"
There are almost no services online which don't track you and collect your data in some way or another and if you try to minimize the amount they can get about you they throw so many stones into your way you are basically forced to give them your data, and just because people let this happen don't care anymore we are moving towards something very grim in my opinion.
And they get away with it because corrupt (pardon i mean lobbyists) politicians, and so many people seriously believe just because we are the "good" western world and something like a controlling regime would never work here and politicians wouldn't do us harm for their own benefits, but the same thing happening in china and other parts of the world is suddenly bad, politician xyz a horrible, corrupt and evil, god the double standards.
I believe most people believe that in this day and age an all controlling government that uses this data to harm you and control your life isn't possible anymore (especially in the west) and in the same breath rant about chinas social score system, its infuriating and its pissing me off because it's detoriating my experience on the internet so much just because i don't want to be an transparent user.

I just found my journal from the 7-day silent sesshin at the end of my 4 months living with Zen monks. Here it is...
I’m about to sit in silence for 7 days.
As I come to the end of the two month practice period, the final “stretch” is sesshin. This is a seven day silent retreat of, basically, 4:45am to 9:15pm meditation. Even our meals are eaten in a sort of ritual format while on our cushions in the meditation hall.
I’ll treat this as an experiment with a status report of my inner conditions before and after sesshin.
Before…
Outside the meditation hall, I could do a little better with intention. This means remembering that there is no distinction between “meditation” and life. It’s all meditation; life itself is the meditation.
That said I can feel my awareness is heightened. I am better at catching myself when I first wake up and enjoying actually waking up (a daily miracle). I watch myself while I shower and get ready. And I taste every bite at meals.
The one thing I’m concerned about is what I read in Richie Davidson’s paper on the plasticity of wellbeing. He explained that open awareness style meditation (e.g. just sitting as opposed to focusing on your breathing) sometimes does not lead to as much change in the default mode network (DMN is the brain’s standard operating system). Basically, it can lead to more awareness of your mind wandering – more awareness of your own lack of focus, without actually improving your focus. It seems that’s where I’m at now. I’m aware of my mind as it constantly wanders. So I may go with more of a breath-focused practice over the next week.
Otherwise I am in good spirits. It’s been a kind of mellow-upbeat vibe. And considering the lack of joy-inducing stimulation such as friends, fun, and achievement, I’d say that’s pretty good. I’m also feeling a deep sense of nature-mysticism like that of Thoreau or Whitman. I have almost zero negative emotions aside from occasional tiredness or anxious desires to write or accomplish to dos. I’d say I’m hanging out around a 8 / 10 happiness – a little above baseline and rarely dipping below.

• Focus/Concentration – 5/10
• Awareness/Mindfulness – 8/10
• Clarity – 6/10
• Positive emotion – 8/10
• WondeAware – 7.5/10

After…
Well, here we are.
And I understand the Zen spirit of “there’s nothing to say”. Most Zen teaching stories go something like that. “Explain to me the meaning of Zen or enlightenment”. And then the teacher says, why don’t we have a cup of tea. Or he hits the student in the head with a stick.
All of this is beyond words. Language can’t grasp the experience of reality. It’s like trying to write about the Sun. What do I say? It’s warm, it’s bright, it’s a round ish? Words can’t touch the essence. The Zen way is direct pointing. It is to experience the experience. And that must be experienced.
So I’ll do the best I can here as an “experimenter”. Please note this experiment is horribly unscientific.

• focus – 5/10 to 8/10
• awareness – 8/10 to 8/10
• clarity – 6/10 to 7/10
• positive emotions – 8/10 to 9.5/10
• wondeawe – 7.5/10 to 8.5/10

It’s hard to note exactly how my mind was during sesshin. But a couple of things stand out.
First as I transition out of retreat, want to keep my phone off or on text/call only. It seems the moment I touch my phone I lose all momentum and intuitiveness around what to do. It seems to scramble my brain.
Second, emotions rise more readily and intensely from a still mind. It’s like a throwing a pebble into still water – still water receives the full impression of the pebble. I remember how during the last night, the Abbess told the story of Suzuki Roshi’s death (the teacher who founded the temple). The tears poured out of me like an endless spring. As we ended the silence and got to join in conversation again, joy and love shot through me like a bolt of lightning.
So the main thing is letting the water of the mind settle into stillness. And from here every experience of life is more vivid – just like the still water receives the full impression of the pebble. A still mind receives the fullest experience of your life.
Sesshin also destroys the notions of time and self. Yes, time and self are just notions. They are concepts about reality, not reality. Now maybe “destroys” is too strong a word. Maybe “effs with” or “loosens” is better.
Every day is broken into intervals of 20 to 60 minutes. But within each interval we are sitting doing nothing except paying attention. So it’s almost like being back in high school but if all classes were just sitting and staring at a wall for 40 minutes. There was nothing going on to differentiate one interval from another or one day from another. There’s nothing to mark the passage of type.
It’s like spending the week on the open ocean. How far did you go? Was it a long or short trip? Where are you? I don’t know. The week of sesshin felt like it lasted somewhere between a 4 weeks and a weekend. The whole processing of time is something that is constructed. And without any temporal landmarks to orient yourself to, it goes out the window. Time is something the mind constructs based on events and movement (eg rotation on axis). It is a concept.
Same goes for the sense of self. This is also a constructed notion. It is through patterns of action and communicating with others that we form our self-concept. Based on how I relate to and compare to another I think “I am this person who is a certain way”. Once those interactions and dynamics are stripped away there are (again like the open ocean analogy) few social landmarks to orient one’s sense of self to. I’m not so sure “who I am” in the personality sense. Who I am is a lot more this observer in here who hears, sees, and experiences thoughts. The personality self is a concept.
I had glimpses of time and self deteriorating. Or as I so eloquently write, “they got effed with”. Aside from that I’m not sure what more to say about it. It was probably more boring and tedious than it was mystical (that’s the reality of intense contemplative practice at least at the early stages). But this work is not totally aimless.
It has made my mind more like a still pond – ready to receive the full experience of life. It’s allowed me to touch reality more intimately. It’s helped me experience life in what I might call “higher definition”.

Really wanted to share this one. By pure coincidence after applying to one job, a headhunting company gave me a free ticket to an exclusive recruiting event in logistics. It's my first time experiencing something like this, I was excited and it was neatly organised. The company gave some hints and rules to follow like dressing nice, coming with several CVs, they even gave us memo sheets of the job offers. The only downside is that the meeting sessions were quick and separated by a curtain from the reception room, so everyone else could hear coming close to the curtains.
Anyways, I did a few interviews and the last employer was honest. He was offering a really tantalizing pay with a lot of benefits but the job was stressful and time-consuming.
After shaking hands with the employer and leaving, a woman opened the curtains to do a meeting as well. Without introducing herself she went straight away to the point 'Yeah I red the lines I can do that, I'm the right fit for the job'. Knowing something funny was going to happen, I stayed close to hear the conversation.
'Can you tell me about your qualifications and experiences?'
'I don't, I quitted studies to be a stay-at-home mom but right now I could use some money'
'Erm.. We need at least someone who has a bachelor and some experience in logistics. It's a job with a lot of responsibilities, which means versality, resistance to stress and the ability to manage so I-'
'You know what ? I'm a mother so I know how to handle stress and I know how to give orders at home!' (wtf does this mean)
(I guess at this point the employer was trying to remain composed) 'You're a mother, but do you prioritize your career or your family life ?'
'My kids obviously!'
'I'm afraid this job won't be for you, you'll need to adapt to the schedule, sometimes work the week-ends an-'
'No way I'm working on Saturdays I need my week-ends off! And same for the hours, I can't start before 9 because I need to bring my kid to the nursery and I can't stay after 4 either for the same reasons !!'
'That was I was going to say. Your profile does not meet the requirements. Thanks anyway for your application'.
'BUT ThIs Is DiScRimInAtoRY ! Can't I apply because I'm a mother!?'
'This is not what I said, we're looking for someone that doesn't have personal time constraints, and with the frequent business trips you'll be away from your children and spouse.'
'But *I* shouldn't have to go through this! You should be the one to adapt the work hours to MY needs! I'm a mother after all I can't do otherwise !'
'Please get out'
'THIS IS DISCRIMINATORY AGAINST MOTHERS ILL TELL EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS PLACE!'
Security escorted her outside as she was screaming and showing her phone background which was obviously a picture of her kids. Most of the candidates were careerists and had a good laugh about this, I heard several people thanking they weren't baby trapped or they wouldn't be here today. It felt so good and conforting seeing CF people as I always find myself alone on the matter.

Get the course here: https://www.genkicourses.com/product/freedom-accelerato [Get] Jonathan Montoya – Freedom Accelerator📷 What You Get: The Freedom Accelerator Program – Start & Grow Your Affiliate Stacking Ecosystem A Home-Study Program Designed To Take You From Fast Startup To Massive Scaling… Inside The Freedom Accelerator Program Is Everything You Need To Start Your New Online Affiliate Marketing Business Using My Unique Affiliate Stacking Ecosystem Method… The 5-Hour Fast-Start – A Done-For-You Funnel To Start Promoting A High-Converting Offer A Done-For-You Product & Funnel To Start Promoting Right Away… BONUSES: TikTok 0 To 10K Blueprint – Get Your First 1,000 Followers In 24 Hours In This Bonus, I’m Going To Reveal My Favorite Way To QUICKLY Get To 1k Followers,100+ Done-For-You Short Video Templates That Have Proven To Go Viral… I’ll Show You The Only 5 Types Of Videos You’ll Ever Need… And I’m Going To Give You A Detailed Calendar Showing What Types Of Videos To Post When… Top 15 Affiliate Stacking Niches – How To Find Hundreds Of High-Converting Offers My Expert Team And I Hand-Picked & Researched The TOP 15 Niches For YOU… Each Of These Niches Are Proven To Convert For Affiliate Traffic, So You Can Start Building Passive Income Quickly… Case Study: Daniel Chou’s 6-Figure Formula – Discover The Secrets Behind 6-Figure Business When It Comes To Making Money With Affiliate Stacking Ecosystem, You Can Learn A Lot From Someone Who… Went From -$35,000 In Debt (And Sued By AMEX) To Now Making $20,000 – $30,000 Per Month!! He Took My System And, On Top Of It, Developed His Own Secret System For Profiting On Facebook… Spilling The Secrets Of Reels – Get More Views From The Videos You Already Made To Help You Get Results With Reels, I’m Bringing Someone Who Got 1 MILLION Followers Using Them – Joshua Smith… Inside This Course, Joshua Will Show You His Strategies & Secrets For Turning FB Reels And Your Personal Profile Into An Absolute Traffic And Profit Goldmine… Instant Business In 90 Minutes – Pick One Of 10 More Done-For-You Offers To Promote I’m Going To Give You At Least 3 More Affiliate Stacking Business Models You Can QUICKLY Get Started With…

• Crypto Affiliate Stack
• Real Estate Affiliate Stack
• Weight Loss Affiliate Stack

I know that enneagram doesn't define you as person or describes your whole personality. But thinking about being just one enneagram number kinda makes me sick. I don't wanna be seeb only as a 3, as a 4 or as a 7. I want to change constantly depending on my moods. Being just one number makes me think that you are stuck in only one type structure. That's why I constantly reconsider my own enneagram type, to bring some freshness in it, to have a change. I am just not able to identify as only one number, so mostly I have luje phases of different numbers. Sometimes I am type 2 and sometimes I am type 6, another day I am 1 and then I am a 6. Does anybody else relate to it?

So one of the main arguements I've heard for Shamanism is that it can be used as an item sink similar to the way invention in Rs3 became an item sink but I feel like Sailing is being overlooked as an item sink too.
Thematically it's a perfect skill for it, doing cargo runs for eccentric NPCS that want clue scroll loot for their collections or supply runs to new colonies on the seas that require all types of basic resources and supplies, food, drink, herbs, seeds, tools, tar, you name it they need it and we can use this to sink any/all items in the game that need it. This would reward you with big exp drops or perhaps some sort of currency used for upgrading your ships or other sailing related things, either cosmetics or useful things for the the skill/account progress.
These rewards could even include some of the things offered by Shamanism in terms of combat rewards, you run missions for some pirate lord and he will eventuly give you an upgrade to your brine saber that brings it closer to being an engame weapon ect
Or you do deliveries to Island natives that teach you their special poisen that can be used on weapons/arrows that normally can't be poisened.. or simply their own tribal shaman can just do all the imbuing stuff for you that you could have done yourself with Shamanism as a skill.
I hope this opens some peoples minds about the potential content/rewards that sailing could unlock as a lot of people seem to be underplaying it.

writing this so hopefully in the future i can play minecraft one last time, as i write this i realize its not minecraft i miss, its the memories i hold with minecraft, stealing friends diamonds, making your first diamond house in creative, the old maps that minecraft use to make on the xbox 360, i realize that it was so much simpler, not a care in the world, but hey. As we age we will always have something to remind ourselves upon, be it minecraft or fortnite or any other game in general.
​
i wish nothing but the best for minecraft and its devs, i wont ever thank minecraft enough, whether the game dies in popularity or not, i will always turn back to minecraft, on my own or with friends the games never empty, to say the least. I write this not looking forward to growing up, even one day as a kid i wanted to be older, but i realize the memories i made with minecraft and my friends share such a deep part of my life
​
I cant thank minecraft enough, and to that 20 year old guy who stuck up for me when i was being bullied by kids in minecraft special thanks to you, i friended you and you never got on again, maybe you grew up? Im not all too sure, but i do thank you for making such a minuscule thing such a large part of my memories, but continuing on with what i was saying.
​
The game was beautiful in almost every way, the hunger games esk thing that they had added onto the xbox 360 edition was perfect in every way ever, it was never really laggy too. Weird to think about how much of wanting to grow up as a kid is. Yknow? Wanting to grow up and be like the "cooler" people, i realize now more then ever that if i could ever be a kid again i would choose to not follow that mind set, remember when you would say to your friends "lets all be big youtubers and live in the same house"? God that brings me back, but you start to come to realize it wouldnt really happen, wouldve been nice though. People more often then not change their friend groups, whether it be because of arguments or such, but i think a big reason is growing up.
​
Growing up has got to be the worst thing ever, it was so much more simpler, waking up, playing either fortnite or minecraft, going to school. Asking your friends "you gonna be on after school?" then coming home and playing with your friends, not a care in the world. Just you and your friends having the time of your lives, and i think as kids, we take it for just simple fun, and nothing important. But as we grow up, we realize we should have taken those moments for gratitude
Thank you, if your reading this far. And thanks to you. Minecraft, fortnite, PvZ, Youtube and the xbox, xbox 360 for making moments of my life i will never forget, ill look back at these memories for the rest of my life.

Hours after Ash had fallen and lost his life, the title of Pokémon Master unbeknownst to him...
Hours after Ash failed in his journey, now a cog of the strong...
Hours after his story ended in tears and blood, his baseless indignity now reality...
His eyes fluttered open, letting him know that he was, in fact, dead. He could now only interpret his new surroundings as the afterlife. It was in the middle of nowhere in space, surrounded by unorganized debris orbiting a large ball of yellow solar energy. His view beyond these details consisted of nothing but a dead-black sky, littered with stars as far as the eye could see.
Ash pretty much had the worst day of his life after the Lumiose Conference Grand Finals. Not only had he lost the League to Alain, but he also ended up becoming Team Flare's primary target just afterwards. Ash expected Alain to help him, only for Team Flare to reveal that Alain has been working for them while Alain simply became unresponsive. Ash and Pikachu, now alone, ended up getting hit by Confuse Ray and Ash asked Alain why before passing out.
When he woke up, he found himself along with his team to be crucified on top of the Prism Tower ready to be experimented upon by Team Flare. Unlike in an alternate timeline, however, Ash still remained determined to somehow find a way out of his most dire situation, and begged its leader to do its very worst against him.
Mere seconds after Ash made his statement on behalf of his resolve, an atrocious Pokémon fired Hyper Beam straight through Ash's chest, his eyes wide in pain and surprise.
"Sere... na..." he coughed up painfully and horribly. He looked down to see his own splattered blood where his chest once was before the beam's sheer power had launched him through the infrastructure of the Prism Tower.
His last moments of his life were quickly encroached by a dark shadow, Tobias, leaving his body, as the last bit of his life force had vanished once and for all. It was that day that his world lost something that could never be replaced.
"Oh no..." Ash muttered to himself. "A-Am I..."
It looked like tears were starting to well up in his eyes, but were quickly overshadowed by Ash's laughter. It started quiet as Ash held it in, but the more he laughed, the louder it got, echoing all the while. "What was I doing...?" he questioned himself, smiling all the while. As his thoughts rushed back to his last day, though, his smile quickly vanished. "What was the purpose of my journey?"
Upon realizing that he could defeat Sparky if he wanted, Charizard lied down to take a nap. Ash grew desperate, begging Charizard to resume fighting, but the Flame Pokémon refused. The referee subsequently eliminated Charizard, giving Ritchie the victory.
Charizard, sustaining the damage, unleashed a full-power Dragon Rage attack to meet Blaziken's Flamethrower attack. As the smoke cleared, both Pokémon struggled to their feet. Harrison and Ash pleaded for their Pokemon to get up, and with encouragement, both of them did. Ash ordered another Flamethrower attack, but Charizard proved to be too exhausted and collapsed. Charizard attempted to get back up again, but this time, he was unable to do so; in layman's terms, he fainted. With Charizard's defeat, Harrison won the match and Ash is therefore eliminated from the tournament.
Pikachu thrusted forward with Iron Tail as Meowth countered with its own Iron Tail. Both attacks hit directly, and as both sides took heavy damage, both Pokémon struggled to continue fighting, both panting for air. After a tense standoff, Pikachu collapsed to the ground, and Tyson was declared the victor.
Ash then yelled at the top of his lungs for an Iron Tail attack, which, in conjunction with the Volt Tackle, pierced through the Luster Purge and scored a direct hit on Latios, causing a giant explosion that knocked out all the monitors. The battlefield was covered with smoke as everyone grew desperate to see what happened. Eventually, the smoke cleared, revealing that Pikachu had gone down, but not without taking Latios down with him. As Ash has no Pokémon able to continue, Tobias was declared the winner by default.
The two attacks collided, but Lucario's Aura Sphere managed to push away Pikachu's Electro Ball, landing a fainting blow to him in the process and ending the battle. The referee therefore awarded Cameron the victory as he advanced to the Top 4.
Avalugg used Ice Fang, freezing Ash-Greninja and slamming it away with Gyro Ball. With Ash-Greninja defeated, Ash fainted, causing Wulfric to win the battle. When Ash woke up, Wulfric pointed out water can adapt to its environment without changing its essence, something Wulfric can't exactly do. He also pointed out a Trainer could only go so far unless they had deep trust in their Pokémon. He then told Ash that this was something he and Greninja failed to do, and until he learned how, Wulfric couldn't hand him the gym badge. Later, in the Pokémon Center, Nurse Joy checked up on Greninja, reporting he took a lot of physical and mental damage, but will heal it back to normal eventually.
Serena found Ash in the woods, and told him that he could talk to her about anything that was bothering him. She told him that she understood from her experience from the showcases, only for Ash to start yelling at her, claiming that she didn't know how he fet. Upset with Ash, Serena threw snowballs at him, saying that the Ash she knew always tried his best and never gave up. She ran off crying after the argument, as she wanted the real Ash back.
After reminiscing about all these soul-crushing defeats, Ash then pictured Serena sobbing over what was left of him after he died. As he did so, he reached out for the infinite abyss before him, suddenly freezing before he let his arm fall back into the fetal position he found himself in upon waking up here. "No! I've got it all wrong...! I was never alive!"
Realizing that his death was final this time, he got reduced to a sobbing, weeping mess. He was fully removed from his world, never to come back, so he couldn't even move past all these losses. He would never be with any of his friends, human or Pokémon, never see Serena's loving smile, witness the fruits of his affinity with his Pokémon, especially Pikachu, never get another chance to win a Pokémon League...
"I-It was Tobias!" he realized amidst all his tears. He immediately thought back to the menacing projection of Palkia that Darkrai showed him. Almost immediately, he continued crying, and it looked like he would never stop crying. "All along!" he blurted out. "Everything that I, along with my Pokémon did... it was..."
"Do you want to say 'pointless'?"
Ash's head catapulted up, and he quickly blinked his tears away. "That voice...!" His voice echoed into the great beyond. Unaware of where the voice came from, he glanced all over the place, until he made contact with a brilliant light in an array of colours so vivid it became white.
"Don't ever give up, my son - nobody else can decide that." the voice continued. Hearing the voice triggered a memory... a memory from 4 whole years ago, when many other memories Ash had regarding his life revolved around Pokémon battling.
The light faded, revealing Ash's father.
Ash stood up, staring at the handsome figure. In his head was too much information, and not enough of a grasp of his situation.
"Only you," his father said.
No matter how hard, or far, Ash's look quickly turned into one of bravery. If it helped connect the light in the hearts of him, his Pokémon, and his friends, you could bet he would jump at the call of accepting his new task.
"It'll be my pleasure-filled decision," Ash said, firm with the knowledge that he would need to make this choice of his own volition, input from his companions be damned.
He still existed within his dark, starry afterlife beyond time and memory alike, his own father being the only one present.
"In order to preserve his existence, Tobias and Cynthia must use a being they created as a physical host," the silver-haired adult explained. "They can't exist indefinitely as mere souls. This show was created so they could continue their existence. It is for this reason that its existence, and future in the process, is in their hands. This is the passage of fate. And your character. People living and dying at Tobias' mercy, just so he can maintain this show's existence."
Knowing that he wasn't the only one who suffered at Tobias' hands, Ash's tipped his hat down, and bowed his head simultaneously, despair filling him once again, even more so due to his newfound loneliness.
"Our losses were always inevitable, as a result. Everything we did was... meaningless..." Immediately after he noted it, he started to break down in tears once more, only for his father's continued explanation to snap him out of it.
Smiling, Ash's father continued. "Are you certain? It was his will that made you immortal, using you as his host. Destroying Cynthia, doing with the world as he wishes... Everything was as he decided and wanted alike. But why is it that Tobias now wishes to destroy you? What is his motivation?"
"That's because..." An enraged Ash thought aloud.
"He in fact has no choice but to do it." Ash's father continued. "If he doesn't, he risks his entire existence."
"And... I'm the source of that risk?" Ash asked. "But why?"
"Consider yourself lucky if you existed outside the passage of fate. The lives created by Tobias and Cynthia inevitably attempt to escape the passage of fate. This signifies the beginning of their destruction. Cynthia embraced this, entrusting this world's future to you in the process."
Ash suddenly remembered.
When Serena ran to an intriguing location to start the video, she fell off the cliff. Ash quickly tried to save her, but also ended up falling with her. They both fell face down into the base of the cliff, and very fortunately survived.
"Many times, your selflessness has allowed you to change the passage of fate," Ash's father explained.
A second swarm of Beedrill appeared, but this time, Ash ordered his Butterfree to use Sleep Powder, putting the Beedrill horde and Team Rocket to sleep, allowing the group to escape. Samurai applauded Ash for his control over Butterfree so quickly after it evolved before then showing Ash and Misty the path out of Viridian Forest to Pewter City. He followed up on this, telling Ash he took back his criticism, referring to himself as a novice.
Gary then asked Ash what he planned to do next, and Ash was forced to confess that he doesn't know. Gary advised him to wait for a while and think about it. When he started to leave, Ash gave Gary his half of the broken Poké Ball from their childhood back. Gary thanked Ash, before setting off on a journey of his own.
As Colress and Ghetsis looked on, they were stunned at Pikachu's resistance to their control. Consequently, Ash commanded Pikachu to launch an Electro Ball at Colress' machine. Reshiram also threw in a Fusion Flare to the assault, which Colress narrowly dodged as his machine was obliterated by their combined might. In the process of destroying the device, all of the brainwashed Pokémon returned to normal.
"You saved lives where others could not." Ash's father continued, trying to comfort his son all the while.
"I couldn't save everyone..." Ash said sorrowfully.
"Nothing that exists can be perfect," his father replied. "It is a sad truth, but you can learn from this and restart your journey on a new path. Not Tobias' path, but one you forge yourself."
"My... own path?" Ash asked, staring down.
"You must make your choice now, my son. Will you walk the path laid out by Tobias, or will you walk your own path?"
Ash took some time to assess his father's question, wondering. To go against his show's studio...
"Power sleeps within you. If your heart can give it form, it will give you and your friends strength." his father elaborated.
Ash sat back down, staring out into his endless, star-filled view.
"That was always how I wanted it to turn out," Ash said, standing back up. "If I wanted to walk the predetermined path, I wouldn't have gotten this far. No matter how greatly the odds are stacked against me, I'll keep walking. My own path. That I decide. Serena. Gary. Misty. Brock. May. Max. Dawn. Iris. Cilan. Clemont. Bonnie. We all feel the same."
"Well then," his father said, smiling. "You must defy your creators to succeed. Succeed and follow a new path."
"A-Are you...?" Ash asked.
"You already know," his father quickly replied. "You know what I am. And you know what you must do."
Ash raised his dominant hand, staring at it. Then he pressed it to his chest.
Upon looking up, Ash saw two brilliant balls of light; one red, another blue. His confidence restored, Ash smiled at these lights as they swallowed him whole, transporting him to a new timeline.

The Globe’s Alex Speier set out to answer exactly that. He spent the past few weeks researching and reporting this story (which you can read in full right here if you want: https://apps.bostonglobe.com/sports/2023/03/red-sox-projections-chaim-bloom/) and the conclusions are pretty wild.
· Is massive roster turnover — and with it a less-recognizable team for fans — a constant?
Short answer: Yeah, at least for now. Since Bloom’s arrival in October 2019, the Red Sox have had 13 players who were new to the organization on Opening Day in 2020; nine new players in 2021; and eight in 2022. There’s a good chance that 10 newcomers will be on the roster (or injury list) when the season begins Thursday.
The Astros and Dodgers have proved teams can have turnover and win.
“To say everybody’s just going to be here forever, that’s not realistic,” Bloom told Speier.
But he also acknowledged this can tick off fans.
“I think it’s important for an organization, for a fan base, especially in Boston, to see and feel more continuity than I think we’ve been able to have them feel over the last couple of years,” Bloom said. “I don’t anticipate change as jarring as what we’ve had the last three years going forward. I think, I hope that that ends up being a pretty unique period here.”
· Are the Red Sox still top spenders?
Short answer: Yeah, but that’s not the biggest issue. The Red Sox actually are spending pretty close to what they have been. The problem is that they’re getting out-spent. They have been in the top six in payroll for all but one of the last 16 years. It’s possible the 2023 Sox will finish with their lowest payroll rank since John Henry and Tom Werner bought the team.
Fun fact (well, depends on your definition of fun): In 2018, the Red Sox were the most expensive World Series winner in baseball history. In 2022, they were the most expensive last-place finisher in baseball history.
· Are they still in the business of acquiring stars?
Short answer: It sounds like they want to be, but they aren’t quite there yet. As you know, Bloom’s biggest acquisitions have been adding Trevor Story and Masataka Yoshida. But it sounds like the team is wary of taking a big swing for a guy like Aaron Judge (or Xander Bogaerts, tbh) because they have so many problems with the rest of the roster.
“If you are leaving holes on your roster, it doesn’t matter how many headlines you grabbed,” Bloom said. “That will come back to bite you.”
· How much has the farm system actually improved?
Short answer: TBD. Because the biggest problem hasn’t been with the players they’re adding (although Jeter Downs was a big whiff, and the fallout has been causing problems for the roster). It turns out the Sox were way behind in the arms race. They have been revamping all their technology. They needed a lab focused on pitch design, they didn’t have the ability to track everything on the field, they couldn’t be specific enough in coaching players up because they didn’t have the resources. That’s behind-the-scenes stuff, and Bloom’s goal is to have the best player development in the league. But it’s not there yet.
OK so … what’s next?
Well, Fangraphs says the team will finish at .500 and in last in the AL East. The Sox say they’re committed to Bloom. But they said the same thing about Ben Cherington and Dave Dombrowski.
Bloom thinks they’re in a better place than when he started.
Let’s see what this season brings.

Every day is a new one, they say.
Fuck, I wish that were true. Every day I wordlessly ponder my options, lament the love lost, and meander hopelessly through the winter storm within.
I love you, J.
Why can't I stay?
You know why. Please, for the love of God, don't fool yourself again.
Like an apple in an autumn gale, I collapse into the affection in a heap. I crave it, I live it, I breathe it.
I grab hold of the memories of abuse, the terror of screaming, the crashing of our belongings, and shove them into a dusty briefcase as I move to take my next hit.
Love is like addiction, after all.
I love you, J.
However, I know I can't stay.
Our most tender moments, adorned by the wood stove as the cold winter air extended tendrils around us, can never come back.
You bring me back to those times today as you show me that affection again, as I feel you hungrily breathe in my scent, your body covering mine with the breath of passion.
Your touch and your affection are like the ephemeral caress of a springtime breeze, like the morning sun beginning its ascent through the trees.
I love you, but you know I must go.
For all of the love I felt, there was equal pain.
My tires squealing against the pavement, I accelerated away. Your empty eyes drilled a hole in my soul. Your mouth was foaming as you screamed, "You're the fucking liar!"
My hands tremble against the steering wheel, tears streamed down my face. I vowed never again to put myself where I am now.
But who am I other than a simple man addicted to love?
For all the times you tackled me or threatened me, somehow I brush off the dust and place one foot in front of the other.
I trusted you with the most fragile object of all, my heart.
No matter where I go or what I do, there's a chance you'll always have a piece of it.
It's no matter, though. Our time must draw to a close, the red velvet curtain must come down.
I love you, J. But it's time for me to leave.
I just have to get in my car and drive away.
I just have to climb that damn mountain and grab a handful of who i used to be.
And maybe, just maybe, I'll see the shadow of the man I used to be beckoning to me across the field.
I'll take the gravel that was thrown in my face and learn from it,
I can traverse that field and welcome myself with open arms, and build something greater.
And then maybe, just maybe, I'll emerge into the sunlight of a new life

Finally finished my all King Arthur card, down to the bingo wire!
You can see my first post here, which reviews and discusses the works I read (and didn’t read) up to and including the 20th century.
This post is for the modern works - 2000 up until today. Thanks for reading!

How I rate these books

In no particular order:

• Writing skill and prose
  
• Characters
  
• Level of depth and/or adherence to either Arthurian legend and myth, or subversion thereof, or interesting changes from the sources
  

Novels + Story Collections

The Doom of Camelot - edited by James Lowder (2000)

Two or More Authors (HM), Historical SFF, Five Short Stories
It’s quite fitting that this was my last read of the card, as every story is set around or after King Arthur’s time has come to an end.
The Doom of Camelot is another interesting gem that’s come out of Green Knight Publishing (see also: The Life of Sir Aglovale de Galis from my first post). Each story was well-written, keeping my attention all the way through, and worth reading, but not many of them appealed to me very strongly. There were two I liked best: “The Last Road” by Elizabeth Wyrick Thompson, Arthur’s end told by Sir Lucan’s nameless squire, and “The Battle, Lost” by Susan Fry, a story from a point of view you don’t see very often, a common farm woman during Arthur’s latter days. The anthology’s closing tale, the novella “Avilion: A Romance of Voices” by Verlyn Flieger, was ambitious, and I do think the author did a great job of capturing the unique voices and perspectives of all the prominent figures in King Arthur’s stories. The only thing I wished the author didn’t include was clear misogyny in many of the chapters. I thought to myself the first time, “maybe Kay’s opinion on women is supposed to be realistic for the time period…” but then each female character’s perspective after that calls Genever a bitch, and Genever’s chapter opens by directly stating she has no use for other women and continues in the same vein from that attitude, so, maybe the author was working through something, who knows.

3/5

Here Lies Arthur - Philip Reeve (2007)

Historical SFF, Standalone (HM), Anti-Hero (HM), Cool Weapon (HM), Name in the Title, No Ifs, Ands, or Buts (HM)
Gwyna is the offspring of an unnamed slave woman on Lord Ban’s holding who manages to escape into the nearby river when Arthur’s warband comes to burn and pillage. Myrddin finds her and takes her under his wing, disguised as his servant boy.
Here Lies Arthur won the Carnegie Medal for children’s literature in 2008, which is a bit surprising (to me, at least) because this story is quite dark. Reeve subverts the heroic Arthur and magical Merlin and reveals them for what they may have actually been - a petty, power-hungry warlord and his clever tale-teller. The book of course doesn’t have the detail and length of The Once and Future King, or Sword at Sunset, but still manages to fit in significant depth to most of the characters. I liked how gender was touched on with Gwyna living much of her life as “Gwyn”, and “Peri” being raised as a girl by his mother before becoming Peredur.
It can be read without knowing much of the original legends, but there are a few references here and there to the individual Arthurian figures’ tales, and on top of that the subversion doesn’t work as well without at least reading something like The Once and Future King first which explores Arthur and his knights’ tragedy from a heroic, sympathetic perspective.

3.5/5

Lancelot and the Lord of the Distant Isles: Or, the Book of Galehaut Retold - Patricia Terry, Samuel N. Rosenberg (2007)

Standalone (HM), Cool Weapon, Name in the Title, Author Uses Initials, Indie Publisher
Galehaut is a relatively obscure character from the original Vulgate Cycle (13th century), who nevertheless played a huge part in Lancelot’s life. Terry and Rosenberg’s book here is an effort to bring this character into modern consciousness again.
To understand the background of this character, if you’ve never really heard of him, I have a few suggested readings based on how deep you want to go.

1. Timeless Myths has a great quick overview
   
2. They also have longer summaries - an intro to Lancelot in the Lancelot-Grail, and the key section on Galehaut
   
3. For the real fans, Archive.org has all of Oskar Sommer’s early 1900s translations of the original French. Galehaut is not in all the pages in a row, but he first appears in Vol 3 page 201 in the book, page 206 in the archive copy, and goes until about Oskar Vol 4, page 160 in the archive, 155 in the book.
   

Going into this novel, I was expecting more of a retelling, not just a very similar style and tone to the original Vulgate cycle with some creative license/editing parts out - maybe because of the “Retold” in the title. As they state in the prologue, the entire first part of Lancelot’s story involves Galehaut heavily, so it is indeed surprising no one has really covered this topic before. This was to me a missed opportunity to tell the story in a way that gave dimension to the characters. In the original, Lancelot seems almost indifferent to Galehaut, and Galehaut’s instant love and admiration for the knight is much more one-sided. This could have gone into that aspect in depth - or could have even gone the other way, writing it as if Lancelot really was torn between Galehaut and the queen, loving each in his obsessive way. Except it just ended up as still one-sided, with a few lines here and there where these authors give Lancelot a few extra opportunities to tell Galehaut he also likes his companion a lot, but his actions being, as in the original, wholly revolving around Guinevere.
The book unfortunately ended up being slow to get through, since it is just the original text retold with a bit more extra detail. It might have been faster to get through if I hadn’t just read the translated original, because it was almost like I had read the whole thing over twice in a row, but at the same time it was also good to have a basis of comparison. If this version had done anything new or different, I would have appreciated having the Vulgate context even more.

2.5/5

Tarnished Knight - Jack Campbell (2012, The Lost Stars #1)

Set in Space (HM), Anti-Hero, Revolutions and Rebellions (HM), No Ifs, Ands, or Buts
The war with the Alliance has destabilised the Syndicate Worlds, and the Syndicate’s control over their empire is crumbling. In the Midway star system, CEOs Artur Drakon and Gwen Iceni form a tentative, secret partnership to take out the Syndic government’s Internal Security Service and establish independence for Midway and its neighbouring star systems.
Tarnished Knight is the first book in the series The Lost Stars, part of the larger Lost Fleet Universe that began by following the Alliance. The Syndic characters in The Lost Stars may have been introduced in previous books, but I picked it up without having read any of them and it wasn’t difficult to understand the premise. Although there is a bit of missing backstory with the Alliance and the mysterious alien enigmas, it doesn’t take away from the current storyline. Tarnished Knight was an easy read, which doesn’t try too hard to deviate from what seems to be standard Space Opera/Military SF fare, relying mostly on action and political dialogue to carry the story. For some reason, Campbell seems to be allergic to describing basically anything in his writing - after I noticed, I went back and skimmed some reviews of his first Lost Fleet book and readers had commented on the same thing even back then. There is not a single word of description given to the characters, so you have no idea what any of them look like, and many of the locations are briefly named halfway through an action scene as “the building” or “the facility”, if at all.
Character-wise, both Drakon and Iceni are similar, being former ruthless CEOs in the Syndic corporate structure who are now trying to figure out how they want to do things differently after achieving independence. The only Arthurian connection that goes deeper than just the name is the broad character strokes of Drakon’s subordinates: Malin, a loyal and technical “wizard”, Morgan, a scheming, bloodthirsty soldier, Gaiene, a womanising drunk, and Kai, dependable but unimaginative.
I enjoyed Tarnished Knight after accepting it for what it was - the space battles and political maneuvering were well done and interesting enough to make up for the two dimensional characters and the lack of description.

3/5

The Buried Giant - Kazuo Ishiguro (2015)

Historical SFF, Standalone (HM), BIPOC Author
An elderly couple in Britain struggle to recall any memory of their earlier lives while living in their village. They set off to visit their son, and on the way encounter a boy with a strange wound, a Saxon warrior, and a knight of Arthur’s court.
This was my first Ishiguro, and it seems like it was not a good one to start with. The premise was interesting: King Arthur has passed, and left behind a now peaceful land, with Britons and Saxons living and working together, but no one can recall any past events, and they even have difficulty remembering what happened an hour ago. The execution didn’t live up to the idea, however. Axl and Beatrice, the elderly couple the reader follows, are terribly boring. The boy who leaves his village with them is weird without any explanation, and only the Saxon and the knight have some depth, but they are secondary to the story. There is so much repetition and extraneous dialogue that it gets painful to read at points. Every paragraph of speech between every character is bizarrely polite, making every conversation twice as long as it needs to be. The book’s conclusion stops before the end of the couple’s journey, trying to leave it up to the reader to infer their fate, but it just ends up being confusing and unclear, and I still have no idea what happened to them.

2.5/5

The Lost Queen - Signe Pike (2018, The Lost Queen Trilogy #1)

Historical SFF, Family Matters (HM)
Adam Ardrey’s Finding Merlin presents historical evidence that the legend of Merlin originated in sixth-century Scotland with a man titled Lailoken (which Ardrey translates as “Chief of Song”). The historical Lailoken’s twin sister Languoreth is the protagonist of The Lost Queen, who was a queen of Britons in her own right but is now largely forgotten in modern times. The novel tells of the twins’ coming of age in the Kingdom of Strathclyde, which is undergoing social and religious change as a result of the rise of Christianity, and is also suffering from the incursions of the Angles from the East. Fortunately, a warrior named Emrys, the Pen Dragon, has risen to the challenge of defending the Britons’ lands and way of life.
I felt The Lost Queen was a bit of a simplistic tale at first, but about a quarter or a third of the way through it picked up and became more engaging for me. I give partial credit for this progression to the audiobook I listened to for a while, wonderfully narrated by Scottish voice actor Toni Frutin. The story’s plot even came together well enough for me to finish the last third in basically one sitting.
Languoreth is in a tough position, because while her father the king gives his daughter more freedom than most noble parents might have in that time, she is still bound to make a political marriage eventually. The first half or so of the novel follows her childhood and teen years as she grows and comes to terms with this fate, and the rest shows Languoreth’s involvement in Strathclyde’s political conflicts, and how they affect the fate of her family and her kingdom. Unfortunately, which might be historically accurate or might not be, Languoreth being a woman means she is not able to accomplish much. The men in her life make the decisions, and poor Languoreth generally suffers because of it. Perhaps she is able to gain more agency in the sequel, The Forgotten Kingdom, but she wasn’t given much opportunity to do so in this first part of her life, sadly. Meanwhile, the villains of The Lost Queen are one-note, each of them being power hungry, malevolent, and cruel, but for the most part the other side characters are developed well enough to be interesting and at least multi-dimensional.
It was certainly refreshing to read an Arthurian tale set so far north, and in my uneducated opinion, it seems that Pike succeeded at writing a reasonably historically accurate tale.

3.5/5

By Force Alone - Lavie Tidhar (2020)

Weird Ecology (HM), Historical SFF, Standalone (HM), Cool Weapon (HM), Revolutions and Rebellions, Award Finalist, but Not Won (HM), Shapeshifters (HM), No Ifs, Ands, or Buts (HM), Family Matters (HM)
What if Uther was just a soldier who wanted power? What if Arthur was just a leader of a bloodthirsty gang of boys that murdered his way to the top of all the criminal gangs?
If you want to read how about edgy this book is, how it’s a real missed opportunity, and how it has lots of weird shit in it, head to my Goodreads review.

2/5

Legendborn - Tracy Deonn (2020, Legendborn #1)

Historical SFF (HM), Book Club, Cool Weapon (HM), Urban Fantasy, Features Mental Health (HM), BIPOC Author, No Ifs, Ands, or Buts, Family Matters
Bree Matthews’ mother dies 3 months before she gets into Early College admission at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. While she’s starting school there, still dealing with her grief, she witnesses what appears to be magic at an off-campus party. When she makes a connection between the magic she just saw and the magic she now remembers seeing after her mother’s death, she infiltrates the campus society known as the Order of the Round Table.
Legendborn was solidly written, and skillfully paced in most parts (less so the middle), but the typical tropes of YA present throughout the book really just didn’t work for me. It’s written in first person, an outsider girl who happens to be super special and unique stumbles into and joins a secret society (and a competition), naturally the two attractive and prominent boys of this society form a love triangle with the girl, and on top of that she and one of them are in love after the entire 2-3 week duration of the novel. Towards the end it was so egregious that I was rolling my eyes at any lines dealing with the triangle. Safe to say these types of books aren’t for me.
I thought the best parts were when Bree’s grief was addressed, and the moments with her family, and when she got to discuss and learn about her family’s history in Carolina. It was also important how the everyday and insidious racism she had to deal with was not brushed over for the reader. Otherwise, however, the majority of the character work outside of Bree was neglected. There were so many characters that she interacts with who belong to the Legendborn society and all of them outside a select few are so interchangeable it was hard to differentiate them when any of the names came up. Even her best friend, who is given some background and a bit of development early on, is shunted to the side as soon as Bree enters the Order and forgotten about until the end, where she comes back briefly to be given the role of following Bree the hero around.
By contrast, I did actually really like the take on a secret society revolving around the descendants of King Arthur and using Merlin’s magic, but that part of the book felt like it would have been way more interesting and relevant if it was set in Britain. It felt like with everything else about the American South the author was trying to address - racism, slavery, inequality - something like a secret Founding Fathers society would maybe have been more thematically appropriate and less disconnected from Bree’s local history and ancestry. Although of course, they don’t have a convenient, well-known magic user like Merlin. Maybe Benjamin Franklin could have turned out to be some kind of wizard instead.

3/5

Sword Stone Table - edited by Swapna Krishna, Jenn Northington (2021)

Two or More Authors (HM), Five Short Stories (HM)
A really solid set of short stories, divided into Once (more medieval/original myth settings), Present (more modern day, urban settings), and Future (futuristic - self-explanatory I suppose).
There were a couple duds, but for the most part they were all worth reading, and a few were standouts for me.
In Once, Roshani Chokshi’s “Passing Fair and Young” imagines that the Arthurian characters may have their fates and myths written on their bodies from birth, and Elaine of Corbenic and Lancelot determine for themselves how to interpret their own myth marks. Daniel M. Lavery’s “Galehaut” short story (available to read here at LitHub) is a shorter version of what I wish the earlier Galehaut retelling I read was like.
In Present, “Mayday” by Maria Dahvana Headley is pure brilliance. Written as an evidence report of items found in an abandoned lighthouse on a Lake Erie island, it tells of the Pendragon corporation’s rise and fall power in late 1800s America. It’s hard to live up to “Mayday”, but without going into all of them in detail, I did also really enjoy “Flat White” by Jessica Plummer - an Elaine of Corbenic coffee shop AU, essentially. What if a French guy named Lancelot walked into your coffee shop, and also had two best friends named Arthur and Gwen?
I think Future’s standout is Silvia Moreno-Garcia’s “A Shadow in Amber”, where Elaine of Shalott is a wealthy woman in a future city, living at the top of her skyscraper, paying a dealer to bring her illegal memories she can ingest and experience as if they were hers.

3.5/5

Sistersong - Lucy Holland (2021)

Historical SFF, Standalone (HM), Award Finalist, but Not Won, No Ifs, Ands, or Buts, Family Matters
SIstersong aims to retell and add detail to The Twa Sisters, a ballad whose earliest recording was in the 1600s. Holland sets her book in Arthur-adjacent Cornwall (“Dumnonia”), following King Cador’s three children as the kingdom begins to come under the threat of Saxon invasion, while also dealing with a Christian priest who wants to convert the Dumnonii to Christianity at all costs. The ballad sometimes has an extra sister in addition to the titular two sisters - here, Holland writes not only the sisters, Riva and Sinne, but a third sibling as well, Keyne, who is born as the middle daughter but comes to identify as a boy. The itinerant magician Myrdhin, who has secrets of his own, helps Keyne in his journey.
I went into Sistersong expecting a focus on the two sisters, and what I got was a book that ended up mostly focused on Keyne. The three siblings have relatively equal points of view for the first two thirds of the book, but as the Saxon threat increases and Keyne takes on more expansive and traditional male roles to help protect the kingdom, his sisters and their conflict over a man fade to the background. It seems like Keyne’s story was the one Holland really wanted to write, which is great, but Rive and Sinne could have been left out completely and Keyne’s story would not have changed. They loved him and he loved them, despite their conflicts, but his sisters’ tragedy serves as a sad chapter on his way to become who he is.
Many of the characters weren’t as fleshed out as I would have liked. Sinne, the youngest, is mostly a typical shallow, vapid blonde, and the eldest Riva is jealous of her looks and her beauty. Riva is probably the more developed of the two, as she has a physical disability and has to learn to overcome her fears and insecurities (thanks to a man, though, I suppose). The Christian priest is one-dimensionally cruel, except for one or two scenes where he breaks character for some reason and briefly treats Keyne with respect, and as for why the king and queen allowed him to terrorise their children and their villages, the belated half-baked explanations given don’t make a lot of sense. Myrdhin is just “mysterious” - Keyne even tries to learn more about him, asking where he came from, and Myrdhin refuses to answer, and it’s just never brought up again.
I would probably only recommend this to someone looking for a trans story set in Celtic Britain. If you’re looking for a multi-character-focused story with at least a semi-accurate historical focus, look elsewhere.

3/5

Blackheart Knights - Laure Eve (2021, Blackheart Knights #1)

Urban Fantasy (HM), No Ifs, Ands, or Buts, Family Matters
Set in an alternate, queernorm, Blade Runner-like London with circa 90s-00s technology, this is a very ambitious modern Arthurian story that I really enjoyed. I think I’ve learned that I’m easy to please with the modern retellings, and because there are so few of them, each one feels like a special find.
Blackheart Knights is well paced, with two interesting POV characters’ stories being told in alternating chapters in different time periods, building up to a meeting point. I thought the two protagonists were developed well, with some interesting nuances, but the side characters could have used some work, since for the most part the writing tells us about them a few times rather than giving them pagetime and showing us. One thing about the writing I would have changed is we are sometimes not given a character description at all, like we have no idea what even Artorias looks like until his hair colour is mentioned maybe two-thirds of the way through the book. The world is cool and has a lot of potential, being set in a London that’s split into multiple districts named after their founding seven Saints, each unique, and there are Kingdoms outside of London, but they’re never expanded upon and only a few of them are even named, in passing only. This modern London has knights that are essentially celebrities and fight in their arenas like gladiators for fame, money, and to settle legal disputes. Some people are born with magic powers, but are looked down upon by society, and are forced to register themselves by age eighteen. This part of the story was super interesting but underdeveloped. I did enjoy the references to the King Arthur mythos that I caught, and I’m sure I missed many at the same time, but for the most part only one key storyline from the original was kept close to intact. I was happy to see a Lailoken mentioned, who is the Merlin character in The Lost Queen.
I would recommend Blackheart Knights as a fun, fresh take on King Arthur, if you go in without expecting everything about the world to necessarily be explained in the first book and just enjoy the ride.

3.5/5

Spear - Nicola Griffith (2022)

Historical SFF, Standalone (HM), Book Club (HM), Cool Weapon (HM), Published in 2022, No Ifs, Ands, or Buts, Family Matters
Nicola Griffith pens a queer retelling of Percival, drawn mostly from Chrétien de Troye’s Perceval and Peredur Son of Efrawg, one of the Three Welsh Romances, along with an added dose of the Tuath Dé from Irish myth. Griffith was originally asked to write a short story for the Sword Stone Table anthology, but Spear grew into its own standalone novella instead.
Having recently finished Mary Sutcliff’s A Sword at Sunset, I felt the writing and the choices Griffith made in Spear were very much in a similar spirit, with a focus on what historical Britain was likely to have been like at the time, although Spear certainly has much more magic. Beyond the setting, the parallels include both Llanza (Lance) of Spear and Bedwyr of A Sword at Sunset being disabled but unmatched horsemen, and each being in love with not only the king’s wife, but their king as well. While Sutcliff wrote a gay relationship for two of Artos’s Companions (in 1963!) but kept Bedwyr’s love for Artos as only subtext, Griffith establishes many of her characters as explicitly queer, beginning with her protagonist, from the moment Peretur - a girl who has grown up alone with her mother in the wilds of Wales - encounters a pretty young woman in a nearby village. Spear is a lovely, well-written story, with a particularly fascinating take on Myrddyn and Nimuë - I only wish it could have been a full-length novel, with time and space to flesh out more of Peretur and her time in Wales and Caer Leon.

3.5/5

Dark Earth - Rebecca Stott (2022)

Historical SFF, Standalone (HM), Cool Weapon (HM), Published in 2022, No Ifs, Ands, or Buts, Family Matters
Set in and around the abandoned Roman city of Londinium (the “Ghost City”) circa 500 AD, Dark Earth follows two Saxon (“Seax”) sisters living near the Thames in Seax territory under the control of King Osric, who in this story is a recent descendant of Hengist and Horsa. Isla, the eldest sister, has been forging swords alongside her father the Great Smith even though Seax law forbids women from stepping inside a forge, and Blue, the youngest, has the makings of being a wicca.
I think I wanted Dark Earth to be more than what it was. Arthurian-era stories that touch on the Briton-Anglo-Saxon conflict are almost entirely from the Britons’ point of view. I enjoyed the writing and certainly appreciated the historically detailed setting, but I was hoping for more of a deep dive into Saxon settlements during this time period. Isla and Blue are both outcasts from their family’s original camp, so they’ve been isolated from all of their people from a young age, and only briefly do they visit Osric’s palace during the story and speak with other Seax again. The people the sisters do encounter after that are interesting, as at this time the area of Essex was occupied by a fascinating mix of Angles, Saxons, Jutes, and Frisians, as well as any native Britons from various tribes who had intermixed with the mainland settlers, like the sisters’ mother who was Iceni (“Ikeni”). Unfortunately, the novel doesn’t go into as much detail as I would have liked about why the characters might have settled there, or much history of their lives in the Old Country, or their beliefs and how they’ve integrated their cultures now that they’re in Britain. King Arthur is briefly referenced as “the boy in the west”, but the larger political and cultural context isn’t expanded upon either.
Isla is the least interesting character in the cast, which is unfortunate because she is the point of view for the reader. Isla and Blue have been traumatised by the actions of Osric and his cruel son Vort, and have been deeply affected by their mother’s disappearance in a raid years ago. Isla’s smithing is forbidden by Seax culture, so she lives in fear and hesitation of anything bad that could happen to her or her sister - which is certainly sympathetic, but not the greatest to read about for basically a whole novel, especially when contrasted with her more courageous sister. Isla barely makes any decisions of her own, just goes along with Blue and their allies’ directions, after declining and protesting out of fear each time at first. There is a bit of growth towards the end, but it’s not enough to make up for the faults in Isla’s story during the majority of the book.

3/5

Short Stories + Novellas

The Green Knight’s Wife - Kat Howard (2016)

Didn’t end up fitting on the board
Available to read at Uncanny Magazine.
What if the events of Gawain and the Green Knight didn’t just happen to Gawain, but happened whenever someone asks for something wondrous, beginning in medieval times through to the present day? What if The Green Knight’s wife never had a say in her husband’s game?
An interesting short story from a different perspective - certainly the original poem doesn’t consider how the wife feels about the time when Gawain stays at their castle, or whether she was pressured to participate or chose to do so willingly when her husband suggested it.

3/5

Once, Future - Kat Howard (2018)

Standalone (HM), Cool Weapon (HM), Revolutions and Rebellions, Urban Fantasy, Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey, No Ifs, Ands, or Buts, Family Matters
Found in Kat Howard’s anthology A Cathedral of Myth and Bone, “Once, Future” takes place at Severn University, in the graduate seminar The Arthurian Legend in Time. The students’ discussion brings up a question: why are there so many retellings of this legend? Is it that writers are deliberately placing the elements to make it recognisable, or do the core aspects of the story somehow make themselves known and repeatable? Professor Link proposes the students each be assigned a name from the legend and keep a journal for the semester, to see if any patterns emerge in their lives.
I really liked this novella. Without spoiling too much, it questions the nature of fate, and how stories should end, and how the original legend was supposed to play out. As I find with many novellas, I would have liked more, since there isn’t enough time for in-depth explanations or backstory, when I would have liked to be able to dig deeper into many parts of the story. Even without that, however, if you just let it take you along for the ride, it’s a great blend of modernity and myth.

3.5/5

Didn’t Finish

Queen of None - Natania Barron (2020)

I wrote a pretty scathing review on Goodreads.

Half Sick of Shadows - Laura Sebastian (2021)

Half Sick of Shadows is set in a somewhat alternate Arthurian universe, where there was a “fey war” prior to Arthur’s lifetime, and Lyonesse is a kingdom in the north that Uther has been trying to conquer. Elaine of Shalott moved to Camelot with her mother when she was younger, and is now known as Elaine the Mad after she had a vision for the first time and went screaming through the castle. When she first meets Morgana, the fey-blooded girl with magical powers convinces her to come back to Avalon, where she can learn to control her skills as an Oracle, and where she meets and befriends Gwen, Arthur, and Lancelot.
Unfortunately, I dropped this one a quarter of the way through. The writing was adult enough, but many of the tropes employed are too simple for an adult novel. Morgause is a one dimensional Mean Girl, Mordred is Arthur’s Evil Stepbrother, and Camelot is a typical High Fantasy Court exclusively home to brainless, fancily-clothed nobles that none of our group of friends could possibly fit in with. Not enough is explained in the pages I read, like why Gwen has been on Avalon the whole time, or why Morgana left Camelot in the first place, or why when they all go back to Camelot, Elaine is suddenly a skilled political advisor to Arthur even though she was a shunned outcast at court and left in her early teens. I was interested to see how the mythical Elaine of Astolat could be retold in a feminist way, but I guess the author’s answer here was to change almost everything about the character and place her in a different setting altogether.

Other 21st Century Works I didn’t get to in time

• Under in the Mere by Catherynne M. Valente (2009, novella)
  
• Kingfisher by Patricia A. McKillip (2016)
  
• The Story of Silence by Alex Myers (2020)
  

Based in Scotland and currently living in a grimy run down supported temporary accommodation. Starting to feel very agitated, discontent and depressed now. Every day feels like a struggle and I find myself unable to relax or do basic self care things like cooking or playing music. I hate it here, and I can see it affecting my work, relationships and happiness.
After a relationship breakdown last September I couldn’t afford the rental I had with my ex partner on my own, and it was too difficult to remain there anyway, with all the memories of our years together.
I moved in with a couple as a ‘lodger’ - that turned out to be a very dangerous situation which I’m so thankful to have escaped before anything too bad happened.
After being told by helplines to leave the lodging arrangement to go and present as homeless, I did so, and after a night in a random hotel, I ended up here. I’ve been through this before as a teenager and can’t believe I’m back in this situation again.
The room is beyond dirty, years worth of dirt piled up on the yellowing walls. It’s very very small and feels claustrophobic after a few hours. It smells bad, there’s a woodlouse infestation, and rising damp as this part of the building is buried halfway in dirt and won’t have been fixed up since the place was built in the 1800s. Also there’s been penetrating leaks in the roof due to the boiler and pipes above the room leaking down. Often the boiler breaks so there’s no heating or hot water for days on end. There’s a very dirty shared kitchen which has no running hot water and a communal laundry room with 2 machines for the 20 rooms/flats in the building, so if there’s none free, you can’t do your washing. There’s these big fire safety lights above the door which I’ve covered with cardboard but the light still gets through and disturbs my sleep. Some people here are drug addicts or criminals, it also stinks of cigarettes and weed all the time.
Thankfully I’ve got two fantastic jobs which I love, supportive friends and a fantastic new partner who I stay with most weekends and a few nights a week. I do therapy, go to the gym, try my hardest to stay patient and positive, but I do feel like I’m stuck here, and it’s bringing me down.
I’ve been here for nearly three months now and the days are slow and sad. I get support from a charity who are supposed to be providing a studio flat until I’m offered permanent housing, but it’s now well over a month since that was supposed to happen, and they now say they’re ‘fixing up’ the flat and ‘don’t know’ how long it could take. I’m not able to rent privately due to not earning enough and I absolutely will not go into another lodging arrangement or flat share again after what I’ve just been through.
Anyone got any tips for how to keep my head in an alright place? I feel like I’m reaching a breaking point where I’d love to disappear rather than live this way.

Before going into this I want to pre-fix something rwal quick: I have nothing against deep cut themselves, i like them. The thing I dislike is how they are handled.
Tl/dr deep cut, instead of being their own group gets shoe horned by nintendo into the squidsisters. Possible fixes is making deep cut basicaly team rocket like villains in story mode therby leaving room for a good character dlc on them or making them the focus of the story mode example is down there.
With that out of the way lets continue. I personaly dislike that deep cut gets shoe horned into the things. Lets take a look at the story mode first. They get their introduction after unsealing the gateway to the second site and its great. You immidiatley get the basic picture of who they are and they dont stay around making everything about them which is great sonce they werent meant to be the centere of the story mode. Their bosses do what they introduction did but they focus on one member at a time fleshing them out more. It falls a little short but if I was expection a complete character analysis id be stupid.
The problems only start at the end of the game when after getting the treasure they stay around and get forced into the story which isnt a good idea to do at the end of a game. They stay around and are made out to be this very nice people which isnt the problem in itself. The problem is that they only say how nice they are. This breaks the basic rule of "show dont tell" which causes it to fall flat and since they want to characterize deep cut falling flat isnt a good option. At the end before the final boss starts they get made into the reason that it could even happen which doesnt feel organic and could be wasily replaced by the former 3 using special and catapulting neo3 into the boss fight or octavio shows up earlier brings you into space, gets hit and neo 3 has to buy some time. Those are two ways how you could delete deep cut from the ending stretch and it wouldnt really changed anything significant which is sad. Calli and marie in splat 1 story were also pretty replacable. The difference is that they were never spun to be more than commentators. Marie and calli were the vocal point of splat 2s story mode. Sheldon was used as a tool nothing more and he was never really used as more. Off the hook was also only ever spun to be important in their dlc. Deep cut is the only one who is made out to be this very importand thing while being replacable. The worst thing for me is that they get shoe horned into the squidsisters music. The calamary inkantation togethet with splatt atack are the 2 most iconic music pieces of splatoon. Splat attack is something basicaly everyone has a version of which is great! The calamari inkantation however was always the song of the squid sisters and deep cut just taking part into this even though they were the villains 10 minutes ago leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Same withe bigman singing in this new song of them (i dont mean tommorows nostalgia today.). It just feels like that nintendo rather shoe horns them into the squid sisters instead of letting deep cut be their own idol group even though they still have so much potential.
Ofcours only complaining is bad so I thought of two solutions already. 1 simple quick fix and 1 extrem change to the story mode.
The quick fix would be after marie giving them the treasure they run up to it want to take it but then it blows up blasting them away kinda like team rocket.
The extreme change is based on a "pattern" if noticed having played all the games. In splat 1 you ate always very distant to the idols. In splat 2 you start as being nithing but a tool fir marie to achieve her goal but over the course of the campaign she grows very close to you. In octo expansion you go from stranger to close friend in the matter of 3 minutes. So I thought hiw about we continue the trend. How about instead of a narrator guiding you thru the tutoriel 3 people guide you thru it. Their names are all ??? But one is blue, one is yellow and one is grey (take a gues who it is). When in the city they explain you the hub as usual but when the camera goes to deep cut they praise them into the high heavens and when they go to the story mode entrance they say "thats where we will meet".
If you enter they will great you. Because the story is about the player and deep cut going treasure hunting! After opening a way to alterna deep cut obviosly wants to go there and you do but the player stops and stares into the distance before being pulled into the entrance by a random deep cut member after which we ge a shot of someones leg and their weird shoes (agent 4 snow boots) Story mode basicaly goes as normal but deep cut is the commentator. The first difference here would be that the boss fights have a long hallway in which we hear the deep cut memeber which we would normaly fight get attacked by something and when you arrive the boss is pretty normal but they wear some weird glasses (hypno shades) and repeatedly ask you to leave. After winning the fight you all come to the base to discous who was the attacker. After thebfirst deep cut boss it would be confirmed that they are a squid with long tentackles with the one attacked trying to remember their skin color. After the second fight they try to remember the eye color. And after the third the eyebrow.
If you have collected the 3 treasures and start the last stretch of the game agent 4 (as you described them) appears, knocks them out and steals the treasure. After waking back up you see that the fuzz around the rocket is gone and conclude that the attacker must be there. So you do that sequenz and climb the rocket while deep cut reports that their way got sabotaged meaning that it takes a bit till they catch up. And at the end you have to face off 4 who laments that you didnt leave. This boss fight is not one you are supposed to win. You are supposed to survive for 4 minutes. Here you could impliment 3 ending paths. The first is you loose the battle dont press continue and get a cutscene where 4 puts hypno shades on you this is followed by having a boos gight against all of deep cut gighting together. After winning you get a cutscene where 4 and cap3 kick grizz into space. The NNSS leaves and you look back at your adventure.
Ending path 2. You survive 4 minutes deep cut arrives and the 4 of you battle against 4 off screen which leaves deep cut exausted while 4 seems slightly annoyed. Then the rocket starts. Marie and callie are like "welp guess thats it." Cap3 and 4 look at each other and cap3 says something like "its nitb4 o'clock just yet. Think you get there in time?" 4 replays of ofcourse and leaves the scene. Deep cut confused asked whats this all about and we get the basics of grizz being about to destroy the world. Deep cut sends neo3 into space. Fight as normal. The difference is that octavio and 4 arrives. Instead of big frye, 4 is gonna buy them the time. And here we coud do 2 endings (for a total of 3) if you win in the time limit you get the normal ending 4 is relieved that everyting worked out fine in the end, calli is hyped as always, marie looks tired and the cap looks a bit annoyed. If you loose 4 sends the player and octavio back and defeats grizz by landing a splashdown on grizz (not a normal splash down, in the normal one you jump up a bit and come down fast, in this scenario 4 jumps from grizzes belly back into alterna for that ungodly splash down.) 4 falls back to earth and has lost every bit of energy they had left the NNSS leaves calli being worried about 4, cap3 and marie are mad.
Also deep cut and the squidsisters shouldnt be kept seperate so each group can be themselves and not be overshadowed by the other one.
Well thats about it. If you like to add anything to this trainwreck of a post please respond, id like to hear others opinions on this.

Long story: So, I'm a freshman at college, living in a 2 person dorm room. My roommate and I knew each other in high school, so we get along pretty well. We weren't best friends or anything, but we were friendly enough. I'm out to everyone as AroAce, and there's a running joke among the friend group that my roommate's pretty much AroAce too, since he's never had nor shown any interest in having a girlfriend.
Occasionally he'll bring a friend or two back to the dorm, and I'll hang out with them, joke around, and be generally good company. We'll all listen to music, play some videogames, toss a football or volleyball around, and then they'll leave after a few hours. It's not a daily occurrence, but it happens regularly enough.
Anyways, last night, my roommate came back to the dorm a bit past midnight, along with a mutual friend. She and my roommate had known each other for a while, and I knew her from the beginning of the school year, so I didn't think much of it at first. My roommate put on some music, picked up the volleyball, and tossed it to the friend. I was used to this, so I joined in, calling for the ball and joining in to the conversation.
After about an hour of talking and passing the ball, the friend lay down on our beanbag and started playfully throwing various small things at my roommate, who laughed and threw them back. This led to a small play fight, and eventually the two of them were sitting together on the beanbag, poking each other and giggling. I stayed lying down in my bed, shaking my head at their antics.
They stayed next to each other on the beanbag for the rest of the night, while I sat in bed reading and watching things on my phone. Every now and then I'd interject into their conversation, but I wasn't looking over at them, since I was focused on my own device. Eventually, at around 3 am, I got under the covers and got ready to sleep, and they started taking to each other in lowered voices. This is pretty standard; I assumed they were just trying not to disturb me as I fell asleep.
As I was about to nod off, I heard the friend giggling and then loudly whisper "Your roommate's right there!" I was curious what she was talking about, so I rolled over sleepily and cracked my eyes open toward the bean bag. My roommate and the friend were cuddling together; not doing anything explicit but obviously closer than just old friends.
I froze and rolled back onto my back, and then made an effort to fall asleep quickly. Consciously ignoring their low whispers, I fell into an uneasy sleep. In the morning, I woke up early and went to take a shower, stepping around the beanbag, where my roommate and his friend were sleeping tangled around each other. When I got back to the dorm, the two were both awake, looking up at me.
I asked if they were together, and my roommate sheepishly replied, "Something like that." I didn't pry, but now I feel really bad about not giving them any privacy. I feel like I may have missed some hints to leave the room and was overall just a social menace. They didn't seem to blame me, but it just feels awkward and makes me feel like my "romance radar" is broken.
Tl;dr: I accidentally inserted myself into my roommate's relationship and was generally a bumbling, socially inept, AroAce.