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2023.03.29 14:29 edhiliard Spenser in the rain

I just finished A Savage Place. At first I was disappointed with the book. Nothing really happened for a long time and it took me quite a while to get past the first 100 pages. At one point Spenser tells us that he feels like he hasn't accomplished anything so far which surprised me cause I shared that feeling. Then all of a sudden the story gets going. From the moment Candy enters Brewsters car on that last evening till the very last page I didn't put it down even once. I found myself so amazed by Parkers descriptions of the scene by the oil pumps and how he used wind, rain and darkness to create an amazing atmosphere. I loved all the spenser books I have read so far and this one wasn't the best, but it was the first one that had me tear up a little bit. Regardless I was amazed by Parkers description of the scene taking place by the oil pumps. It felt so real. I remember that he used rain and darkness before and later again to create atmosphere. I think it was in "God save the child" where a similar situation took place in a parking lot. It also reminded me of "School Days" where he has to shot a guy by some rocks. It also rains in that scene and tension is up. What du you guys think about those scenes? Any other that come to mind or any other scenes that made you realize how good a writer Parker was?
submitted by edhiliard to Spenser [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:29 Old_Heart_7780 “The state also agreed to stop referring to Kline's alleged victims as juveniles.”

Why? I tried to find where this has ever happened in a pending CSAM trial. Nothing. Makes me wonder what is the purpose of even making this statement. His victims were juveniles. I didn’t need to know the definition of “juvenile” but I looked it up anyways. Basically anyone between 12 and under 18 years old. Seems like juvenile would define all of his victims. So why would the state of Indiana agree to stop referring to his victims as juveniles? They were children.
In the same news articles I read repeated comments from the MS couple and their opinions on this case. That’s fine for these local news agencies to be quoting this couple who have played a large part in this past year’s coverage and the investigation itself. From their “finding” this guys post arrest interrogation transcript— to their latest comments on the status of this guys CSAM case. Why does Fox 59 choose to quote these two people who make their living off this case?
My understanding of news organizations is the fact that they check everything they publish— before they publish. If they are going to be quoting the MS couple on all the legal formalities going on with juniors defense— perhaps they checked with his attorney, or the prosecutors office to get an off the record affirmation. Or maybe the “state”. Not sure where the line about the state comes from:
“The state also agreed to stop referring to Kline's alleged victims as juveniles.”
I would have to assume it comes from juniors defense attorney. I don’t know from reading this line where it came from. Did the news agency that reported on it get a direct quote from the state? Did it come from Kevin Greenlee and his wife Aine Caine, who both are quoted extensively in the story where I found this bit of news? Interesting someone knows Junior has some type of agreement with the state of Indiana, but according to the MS couple they can’t see where there is any agreement. Is that line about the state agreeing not to call junior’s “alleged victims” not an agreement??
Such bull shit in my opinion. How come Fox 59 doesn’t get a statement from the “State”? I always thought that’s how journalism and news organizations work. Don’t get me wrong I do suspect the MS couple know what they are talking about. In fact everything I read about these two people makes me wonder if they work for the state of Indiana. They seem to know more than a local news agency called Fox 59 and some of the other myriad of local news agencies reporting the same thing.
Makes you wonder what the hell is up in Indiana. I worked for the state of Colorado for many years. My job put me in the schools around the state. We didn’t call the people in the schools juveniles— although they were juveniles. We called them kids. Abby and Libby were kids. Junior was exploiting, harassing, manipulating and abusing kids online. In fact he even admitted to it. I know because I read some of his admissions. I don’t need the MS couple to tell me that. I don’t even need Fox 59 to tell me that’s what he was doing. It doesn’t take a degree is nuclear physics to know the state of Indiana has some type of agreement with this guy— if there’s any truth to the statement I have in the title to my post.
Some crazy shit going on in Indiana. Forgive me if I have anything wrong in this post— I’m still working on my first cup of coffee.
submitted by Old_Heart_7780 to Delphitrial [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:27 dinopen8 Did I make the right decision?

This type of friendship has been on and off since I changed schools. I felt like I was putting in all the effort in the friendship, I would rarely get texts or anything unless she wanted to tell me something. For someone I use to call my best friend I felt like she wasn’t trying as hard. The conversations were messy and middle school drama that she could easily avoid. I wanted to move on from that part of my life so I started to care less about what happened in that school. The drama was all our conversations were. Earlier in our friendship she would make fun of my family just because we didn’t have the newest iPhones. (At the time she had a iPhone 6). She would call us poor and accused me of trying everything to get money. I don’t know why I didn’t end the friendship there. I don’t even tell her any of my personal issues as I just don’t trust her. She would also try to create drama between my cousin and I by twisting stories and telling lies when in reality all she was doing was talking bad about my cousin behind her back. My last conversation with her was me getting upset because I was rarely getting texts and all she said was “okay”. She can never apologise or take my feelings into consideration’. So I blocked her I want nothing to do with her or that school. I don’t want to fall for the manipulative fake apologies she does anymore. I feel like letting go of her was the best decision even though it’s going to hurt. We do have some great memories together. But mentally it’s going to help letting go of toxic people and focus on one’s that actually care about me. Or maybe we just grew apart.
submitted by dinopen8 to friendship [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:26 FurbaliciousDelight Toddler Gets Dislocated Elbow From Daycare

Looking for opinions and experiences. Our 3yo has been at a new daycare since January and her educator is very strict but otherwise knowledgeable and has good communication. Today I received a call saying he accidentally dislocated her shoulder because she was trying to run away when he wanted to take her for a diaper change. Immediately we ran to get her, then the daycare changes their story and says it happened during ring a Rosie and she ran/jumped. Got her to hospital and it was a pulled elbow (partial dislocation). Dr. there was very blase about it, says it's common for her age group etc. The daycare have since called saying there is CCTV footage of the incident and we are going to review it tomorrow. I just have this icky feeling? This teacher is strict especially with my daughter as she's higher needs and is getting government funded support for speech and behaviour as her paediatrician thinks she's ADHD. Teacher is aware of this but is hyper focused on her behaviour and keeping her in line. What concerns me is she's bolted away from me and even lifted her feet off the ground while I've held her arm/s and this has never happened. I can't help but feel he got frustrated in the moment and yanked. The daycare even said the class was disorderly at the time and he should have terminated the activity as it got out of control. As it stands, I'm cutting down to part time and keeping her home until school...just don't know how to trust them after this.
submitted by FurbaliciousDelight to beyondthebump [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:26 ejdhdhdff 36, making 45k a year with a 2 year degree. What would you do?

I have a 2 year degree as an associates of applied science. Plus another year of random courses. I work in health and there is no room for growth. I’ve been doing this for 13 years and still stuck at the same entry level hourly wage I made when I started. I have moved several times. But the growth is only about $1 per hour per year in this field.
I can go back to school or take a boot camp at this point. What line of study would you recommend if I’m looking to make 6 figures and have a more comfortable life? Thanks.
submitted by ejdhdhdff to careerguidance [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:26 Awesomeuser90 In school since the late 1990s, what do South African children usually learn about the history of ZA itself or the continent?

My dad lived in South Africa in 1981, when he went to school, but as you can imagine, the government wasn´t especially keen on teaching children that, you know, people native to the continent had their own civilization or complex and rich history. Oh those megaliths in Southern Rhodesia? Must be a lost group of Greeks who built that eh?
Of course now people who are not interested in covering up the idea that was Great Zimbabwe and it was not built by Greeks.
I was educated in Canada and got to learn things like what Ancient Athens was up about doing two and a half thousand years ago given that it has a lot of influence on Western European political ideas. What kinds of things would you usually learn in the post Apartheid era besides how exactly the VOC and later the British took over the place? Even Great Zimbabwe though is not that old in world history milestones, more recent than Charlemagne, I imagine you could go way further back if you wanted to (to hundreds of thousands of years back even, or the San people to tens of thousands of years).
submitted by Awesomeuser90 to southafrica [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:25 tortillachips87 I (25F) want to go see my family in my home country. Partner (27M) doesn’t approve of me going alone

(2 years together) Long story short we are both from different countries in Europe living abroad. We both haven’t seen our families too much in the past years. When I met him at first he expressed that he didn’t want to go back to visit them. I always try to go back at least once a year. Last year we both went on a holiday together and visited our families, to get to know them. Thats fine.
But by the beginning of this year I’ve started feeling very homesick and I feel I’m missing out on a lot of interactions. Truth is, my parents are way older than his and I feel I am losing a lot of precious time spent with them. I’ve expressed I want to go home soon for a week or two however he has been reluctant. He has said it’s not a proper relationship if we’re going to see our families on our own. I definitely do not agree. And to top it all, he now insists on buying tickets soon to his country, since his sister is finishing up middle school and they plan a celebration. I don’t know what’s the big deal about it, I still respect it but it feels wrong.
I am starting to feel like a second priority and it really hurts me. We have other problems and I haven’t really felt happy in a while. Even to the point that I’m thinking about ending it all but we are living together. Could you advise please?
submitted by tortillachips87 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:25 ThrowRAsigh383736 I feel like my long distance relationship is making me suicidal

I've always had suicidal thoughts since I was in middle school, I have my ups and downs, but I'm going through a hard time again. I broke up with my boyfriend because I was feeling unhappy with the relationship, I was struggling a lot. The first months of the breakup were very hard for me, he made me feel guilty for giving up. I hated myself for leaving him, he suffers from depression and he kept telling me that he was in pain and that he didn't want to be alive anymore. I felt very bad for him and I was struggling too so I agreed to going back. But now I feel unhappy again. I don't feel loved and I feel like there's no future. So many things have happened in our relationship that have made me scared to trust him. I've asked for advice so many times, but I can't seem to let go of him. Sometimes, killing myself feels like a nice option, my life is already shit and I don't want to deal with anything anymore. I don't want to be in this relationship anymore, but I'm attached to him and I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to do this anymore, I'm tired. I swear I've tried to make things work
submitted by ThrowRAsigh383736 to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:24 Mininabubu RH: Fast/medium burn 6 or less guys guys already are a "pack, bff, brothers" VERY SPECIFIC request see the description

Hi all!
I'm looking for very specifics RH because I have been stuck with average at best RHs and it is driving me insane, I have DNF the last 5 books :( (read the good ones already maybe? :( ). So there is what I'm looking for:
submitted by Mininabubu to ReverseHarem [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:22 arkinnorman Creepy Crossing Guard

Me and my sister walk to school everyday on princess st. and go pass this creepy crossing guard, he smells like shit and has said very weird things to us. Do you know who I’m talking about
submitted by arkinnorman to northbay [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:22 bonnacerda LLM Cornell/Georgetown/UCLA

Hi :)! I've been admitted to these schools for a masters but I can't decide which one to go for! Can anyone from those law schools or not help me decide? I'm a foreign student btw. Thank youuu!
submitted by bonnacerda to LawSchool [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:22 sonofabutch No game today, so let's remember a forgotten Yankee: Hector Lopez

Let's remember Hector Lopez, an overshadowed but valuable roleplayer on the Yankees' 1960s dynasty that went to five straight World Series!
There have been six players born in Panama who played for the Yankees, about a third as many who were born in Mexico... yet from a Yankee point of view, Panama has been the far richer source of baseball talent!
Of course it helps when the list includes the greatest closer of all time, Mariano Rivera. But three other Yankees from Panama have been notable contributors as well: Roberto Kelly, Ramiro Mendoza, and of course... Hector Lopez. (The other two Yankees born in Panama weren't as notable: Ruben Rivera and Omar Moreno.)
The six Panamanian-born Yankees accumulated 85.6 bWAR -- 56.3 of them from Mariano. Compare that to the 17 Mexican-born players in Yankee history, who combined for 3.6 bWAR -- most of it from Alfredo Aceves (2.7).
Hector Headley Lopez was born July 8, 1929, in Colon, Panama. Just as many kids did in the Dominican Republic and Cuba -- and the Bronx, for that matter -- Lopez grew up playing baseball with a broom handle for a bat and a rubber ball. He attended an English-speaking high school, where he played baseball and ran track, and by age 14 was playing against men in amateur leagues; at 19, he played in the 1948 Amateur World Series. Playing for a professional team in Panama during the 1950-1951 winter season, he was signed by a scout for the independent league St. Hyacinthe Saints and went to Canada.
“When I got to Canada it was about 40 F, and I had left Panama, where it’s usually 70, 80. The owner of the team had to buy me clothes. He wanted to make sure I had a lot of woolen stuff to wear.”
He hit .297/.370/.386 at the age of 21, making him one of the most exciting prospects in the league -- all the more exciting because the team thought he was just 18!
The following year, the Saints became an affiliate of the Philadelphia Athletics, and Lopez continued to hit, putting up a .329/.441/.458 line while stealing 32 bases. They promoted him to the Eastern League, where he hit .270/.349/.344. In 1954 he was in Triple-A, hitting .316/.389/.425 in 520 PA. In 1955, the A's made the move from Philadelphia to Kansas City, and after hitting .321 with 5 home runs in his first 21 games in Triple-A, Lopez was called up to the bigs. He hit .290/.337/.422 that season, with 15 home runs in 527 PA.
Lopez could hit, but fielding was an issue. Initially a shortstop in the minors, Lopez made 61 errors in 127 games in 1952 and was soon moved to second base and third base, but the errors came there as well.
In 1959, Lopez opened the season as the A's starting second baseman, and over the first two months of the season hit .281/.324/.533, with six home runs and 24 RBIs in 35 games. The Yankees, meanwhile, were desperate for an infielder -- prior to the trade, shortstop Tony Kubek was hitting .252/.278/.396, second baseman Bobby Richardson .247/.276/.301, third baseman Andy Carey .218/.274/.269, and reserves Gil McDougald .214/.296/.262, Jerry Lumpe .214/.313/.214, and Clete Boyer .136/.174/.136.
And when the Yankees needed a player during this era, they often got him -- from the A's.
The Kansas City A's from 1955 to 1961 were essentially another farm team for the New York Yankees. There's a long list of players the Yankees got from the A's, including Enos Slaughter, Clete Boyer, Ryne Duren, Ralph Terry, Roger Maris, and Bob Cerv... while giving up little in return. In all, the Yankees and A's made 16 trades involving 62 players (some traded more than once) during this stretch. According to this analysis, the Yankees got 64.1 WAR from the A's in return for 36.2 WAR to the A's... and of the 36.2 WAR, nearly a third came from Slaughter and Cerv, who would later be traded back to the Yankees!
Lopez was yet another player on that list, traded May 26, 1959 (along with Ralph Terry) for Johnny Kucks, Jerry Lumpe, and Tom Sturdivant. It was a good trade for the Yankees, but nowhere near the heist that was Roger Maris (and two others) for Norm Siebern (and three others). Terry and Lopez would be worth 13.4 bWAR for the Yankees; Kucks, Lumpe, and Sturdivant would be worth 10.1 bWAR, nearly all of it (9.9) from Lumpe, a utility infielder with the Yankees who would become the starting second baseman for the A's for five seasons.
Lopez continued to hit in New York much as he had in Kansas City, putting up a .283/.336/.451 line with 16 HR and 69 RBI in 406 ABs with the Yankees. He'd play his first 76 games as a Yankee at third base, but after making 17 errors, the Yankees decided to make a change. On August 18, they put Lopez in left field for the rest of the season, with McDougald primarily taking over third base. Lopez would almost exclusively be an outfielder for the rest of his career, playing just 9.0 innings at first base, 19.1 innings at second, and 19.2 innings at third over the next seven seasons, compared to nearly 5,000 in the outfield.
During the Yankee glory days of the early 1960s, Lopez was the "third man" in the Yankee outfield with Maris and Mantle, and often getting extra at-bats when one of them was injured.
In eight seasons with the Yankees, Lopez hit .262/.324/.399 (101 OPS+) in 2,796 plate appearances. He played in five straight World Series, 1960 to 1964, and hit .286/.333/.536 (.869 OPS) in 31 plate appearances. His best World Series performance was in 1961, when he had an RBI triple and a three-run home run in the decisive Game 5.
"I played with a great bunch of guys. They talked about winning as a team. If you didn't perform up to your ability, Moose Skowron would walk up to you and say, 'You're messing with my October money.' "
After the 1966 season, in which he hit a disappointing .214 in 130 plate appearances, Lopez was released. He signed a minor league contract with the Washington Senators -- not the original team, which had moved to Minnesota to become the Twins, but the expansion team founded in 1961 that became the Texas Rangers in 1972 -- and played two seasons in Triple-A, hitting .295/.382/.422 in 1967 and .258/.319/.405 in 1968. He returned for a third year in 1969, but now nearly 40, he knew time was running out. He decided that off-season he'd retire at the end of the year.
During warm-ups before a Spring Training game, Lopez heard Ted Williams -- in his first season as manager of the Senators -- shouting his name. Lopez, who had spent the last two years dreaming the Senators would add him to the major league roster as a reserve outfielder, hustled over. But Williams had other plans for him.
Williams had just told Triple-A manager Wayne Terwilliger that he was going to be the Senators' third base coach. Now the Senators needed a Triple-A manager, and Williams asked Lopez to do it.
"Sure," Lopez coolly replied. "I gotta pay rent."
It all seemed pretty casual, but it was actually a historic moment. Lopez was the first black manager in Triple-A history, six years before Frank Robinson became the first black manager in major league history. (Only two black men had managed in the minors before Lopez: Sam Bankhead in 1951 and Gene Baker in 1961.) The Bisons had a bad year under Lopez -- 58-78, though not much worse than the 66-81 they'd done the year before -- and the Senators didn't bring him back after the season as a manager or coach.
He would be a scout for the Yankees for the next three years, then became a recreation director for the town of Hempstead on Long Island for the next 20 years. "I enjoyed that very much. I loved working with kids," Lopez said.
But he would return to Yankee Stadium for Old Timers' Day, and longed to return to baseball in some capacity.
"The game stays with you like your first romance." -- Hector Lopez
He did some scouting for the Yankees and Giants, and then, in 1991, George Steinbrenner hired him to be an outfield and hitting instructor with the Gulf Coast Yankees in Tampa.
In 1992, he worked with the Yankees' 1st round draft pick, an 18-year-old shortstop named Derek Jeter. "As soon as you watched the kid play you knew he was something special," Lopez said. "He had all the moves and he was very confident on the field. He was a little raw with the glove and made a few errors, but he was willing to work hard. He would come out early, and I would hit him a lot of balls. He was very determined to get better. I'm not surprised at how good he got -- one of the very best in the game."
He also managed the Gulf Coast Yankees in 1994 and 1995 -- where Darryl Strawberry had his first at-bats in the Yankee organization, going 5-for-20 with no home runs -- and managed Panama in the 2009 World Baseball Classic.
Lopez died six months ago today, on September 29, 2022, at the age of 93.
The Lopez Low Down:
"I was just excited to play ball with those Yankee teams," Lopez told sportswriter Maury Allen. "I think the 1960 and 1961 teams may have been the best in baseball, ever. We had everything -- power, pitching, great defense, depth and great leadership. It was fun to be on those teams."
It was fun having you on them, Hector!
submitted by sonofabutch to NYYankees [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:22 Silly_Attention1784 Another nitpick

Once again, I did love the show, but… I find it hard to believe that some of these people would’ve gone to the reunion at all. I know it was convenient that they all be there, of course, but it doesn’t really ring true based on some of the characters that they would show up there.
For example, Genevieve would’ve 100% been there, but why would Amelia go? She didn’t even graduate. Why did phoebe go? To show off her financial success?
I’m torn about Saskia. On one hand. She would’ve gone because she was the queen b but also so traumatized by the school that maybe she would have skipped it?
submitted by Silly_Attention1784 to ClassOf07 [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:20 TurtleMaster472463 Is there a way to beat the circadian rhythm?

I think we all know about how the natural sleep cycle of a teenager clashes with school. Teenagers should go to sleep at 1 am. and wake at 10 a.m., but school pulls us back 4 hours. Because we can't change school, is there a way to change the cycle? No matter how hard I try, I still can't go to sleep until midnight, which sucks because I have to get up at 6.
submitted by TurtleMaster472463 to teenagers [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:19 Used-Support9124 Is going to thailand worth it early in your muay thai journey

I am from Canada and have been training for around 7 months 6 days a week and have been sparring for 4 months. I feel like I am progressing nicely but there is still alot to learn. I really want to go to thailand solo to train and this summer would be good as I just finished school. but I dont know if I would get the most out of it because i am at an intermediate level and I can only go 1 month because of my job. I was wondering if I should wait till next year once ive had an amateur fight and hopefully I could go for 2 months then. Wondering what yall think as I really want to go but I want to make the right choice as it is expensive on time and money.

Ps, if i dont go this summer im still gonna start training twice a day
submitted by Used-Support9124 to MuayThai [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:18 Mrs_Pink25 Jenna 🕶️ 🦯 and Garrett 👮‍♀️

So, I notice that Jenna hangs with Melissa’s group (Ian,Jason,Garrett,etc) she knew all of them. Even in the flash back episodes she was always with them. She seemed older than the girls. So I always wondered why she was in school with the liars. I know pll had the underage relationships going on, but I always wondered how much older Garrett was than her, they were together in the flash backs to, and Garett graduated with Jason and Ian. If she was in the girls grade then she was like 15 when they got together and Garrett was on the police force then. Don’t bite my head off it’s just a thought floating in my head lol.
submitted by Mrs_Pink25 to PrettyLittleLiars [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:18 sastofficiallol School is done. Going home now. Gec

School is done. Going home now. Gec submitted by sastofficiallol to teenagers [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:18 anonymouslywise MDR - What do I do when I arrive?

Sorry if this is a dumb question. The last time I went on a cruise, it was with my parents and I was in high school (so, 7+ years ago). I remember that we’d stand in a line sometimes but we had the pre-selected times for dinner, not My Time Dining.
This time around, I selected the 6pm dinner time. So when we arrive, do we just walk in and go directly to our table? Do we stop at that little check-in desk and wait in line to be seated?
Just don’t want to be rude or aloof. Thank you!!
submitted by anonymouslywise to royalcaribbean [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:18 Calm-Hall7915 Need some suggestions

2024 Jee aspirant here. So, I've wasted my 11th (not gone to offline coaching, studied from YouTube lectures) and I want to save my 12th. So what should I do in this situation:
• Go to an offline coaching with dummy school for whole year?
• Study from home with regular schooling (my school teachers are good for maths and physics, teaches mains level)
• Focus on 12th boards now and take a drop year later?
Also, I scored only 77% in 11th after scoring 90+ in 10th, so my parents want me to focus in 12th boards and I don't think so they will easily agree to let me go for a coaching away from home.
submitted by Calm-Hall7915 to JEE [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:18 SkullChain2008 Best MJ remixes or Remixers?

Hey all, I'm looking for some remixes or remixers. Nothing too specific, It can stay faithful to the original track (Like SWG) or change it completely (Like Azura Music). It's nice to listen to remixes that stay true to MJ's idea but sometimes my modern generation brain looks for new-school remixes of my favorite songs so, go ahead and suggest!
submitted by SkullChain2008 to MichaelJackson [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:18 Zhyrelle How easy is it to get a job in cyber security

I might go back to school to get a one year degree for cyber security and wondering if it's worth it and if I can get a job with no experience in it.
submitted by Zhyrelle to careeradvice [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 14:18 manghoebravo Nagbreakdown ako while having dinner

Wala naman talaga akong balak magdinner tonight. Kaya lang, kagabi nung di ako nagdinner pagcommute ko pa office feeling ko umiikot ulo ko. Isang beses lang ako kumain kahapon kasi pinili kong magpahinga at matulog para makabawi ng lakas. Aminado ako, ayoko nagcocommute pero syempre bilang pang mga taong mayaman at may pang gas money at parking money ang pagdadala ng kotse (lalo na sa business districts like Makati) ay kailangan kong magcommute. Hindi rin naman ako marunong rin magdrive and may trabaho rin naman tatay ko kaya di niya ko pwede ihatid sundo. Nanay ko naman nanghihinayang sa Quezon City-Makati travel. In short, sinasanay ko sarili ko para sa halos isang buwan kong internship sa Makati mula Lunes hanggang Huwebes tapos klase naman tuwing Biyernes at Sabado. Pagod? Sobra.
Dati kinakaya ko pa yung mental na pagod kasi at least nasa comfort ako ng bahay ko at puyat lang talaga sa kakaaral. Ngayon, iba yung pagod pisikal. Ramdam kong bumibigay yung katawan ko talaga pag-uwi pero dahil uso pa rin ang sakit ililigo ko na lang saka ako magpapahinga. Not to mention, hindi naman rin ako sobrang talino. Kumbaga, okay na ang grades pero yung ‘okay’ na grades na ‘yon ay kailangan kong pagpuyatan at paghirapan nang sobra. Minsan talagang katawan yung magsusuffer. Ang takot ko ay talagang it will not stop here. Magmmed school pa ko and handa ako. Emotionally, mentally, and physically. Alam ko na ang coping mechanisms ko, study habits, and kumbaga kahit alam kong uubusin ng med school at complete 180 ang buhay ko… desidido ako. Alam kong kailangan at gusto kong kayanin dahil gusto ko at ito talaga ang pangarap ko. Alam ko ang pinapasok ko at alam kong medicine ‘yun. Kaya lang pakiramdam ko dahil sa pagmamahal ko sa career ko baka kulang na ako for the people I love.
Sometimes I lash out and sa sobrang pagkawala ko sa mood dahil sa pagod naaapektuhan ko mga tao sa paligid ko. Hindi sila nageenjoy siguro dahil pagod talaga ako eh. I used to be the fun Ate. Ako ‘yung ma videoke pag gathering, ako ‘yung machismis, and ako ‘yung talagang kalog. Extrovert kasi talaga ako, but this career path is slowly changing me because I need to focus. Minsan pakiramdam ko kulang rin ako bilang isang girlfriend.
Mahal ko boyfriend ko pero I know he needs me. Alam kong naiintindihan nya what this life entails lalo na’t he also pursued further studies (not med) pero sometimes I feel na he wishes I am available. Strict din kasi ang parents ko. Parang panget na combo no? Strict na magulang + busy career path + mediocre brain. Alam kong mahal niya ko, but I fear sometimes that the love he has for me will somehow fade kasi I am not always there. Physical touch and quality time kasi love language nya. I love him and I do my best to make him feel that. Minsan lang pakiramdam ko nagkukulang talaga ako and nagsstay siya kasi mahal niya ko. It will not get better with my career and alam ng mga doctors yan that med school will really take a toll on your life.
Ang haba na pala. With all the physical, mental, and emotional stuff going on… bigla na lang tumulo luha ko nung kumakain ako ng dinner. Syempre di ko na pinahalata baka akalain ng nanay ko ano nangyayari sa’kin. Pagod na pagod na ko and sa totoo lang gustong gusto ko na ng yakap. However, I know na mabibitin lang ‘yung yayakap sa’kin kasi may kailangan na naman akong gawin para sa internship or klase ko. Hay.
submitted by manghoebravo to OffMyChestPH [link] [comments]