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/r/dating: vent, discuss, learn!

2008.03.03 00:48 /r/dating: vent, discuss, learn!

A subreddit to discuss and explore the dating process and learn from the experiences of others
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2013.02.01 01:33 Fearink Everything about Tinder

A community for discussing the online dating app Tinder. Sharing conversations, reviewing profiles and more.
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2013.05.26 20:09 SuperSeany100 KSI

Anything related to KSI.
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2023.06.09 23:58 Front-Strike-8690 Human Nature 4[OC]

Zander Camlot, Selkath Empire Docean ———————————————————————————- I crawled out of my small nook in the wall, I slid the small piece of loose cobble back into place and moved out of the alleyway. I sighed as I looked up at the sky and saw it was a hazy day. The fires had been getting more intense as of late. They always burned hot and fast at this time of year, when every piece of plant is dry and dead; perfect fire tinder.
I cleared the alley and entered the main street. I took a moment to view my surroundings and saw the normal vendors to the left and right. I frowned when I saw a squad of troopers marching down the street. These weren’t your run of the mill city watchmen either, these were the King’s men at arms.
Why were soldiers here? They never come to Docean, much less the Outcity.
I almost forgot to step out of the way as they marched past. Armour clattering and swords bouncing on their belts, their spear tips glinted red in the light. I considered following them but decided against it, nothing good comes from robbing soldiers.
I walked down the main street strolling down and whistling my jaunty toon. I pulled out my slightly battered gentleman’s hat and set it on my head casually. This coupled with my freshly cleaned shirt would make a dashing appearance of a poor man but still of noble heritage. I snagged a nice crispy apple from a passing cart. I looked down at the moist skin of the apple before taking a bite. It was quite a good apple, buuuut not good enough. I threw the apple to the side as I walked up the road to the gate to Ivyheath. A guard stepped out of the hut and raised his hand. I sighed. If I wanted to break through I wouldn’t stop for your raised hand. But, all the same I didn’t want a confrontation, especially when the guard had a studded helmet and a heavy club at his waist.
“Stat your name and purpose,” he said sternly.
With a small flourish of my hat I replied, “Goodman, I am Sir Tomwell of House Weldrain.”He grunted and stepped out of the way, clearly intimidated by my confidence but wanting to save face. I chuckled sweeping past him and moving into the richest district of Docean city.
I yawned looking around, but I didn’t see anything if value which would be easy to take. So I moved down the street and entered one of the fancy inns lining the street. I stepped inside and saw nobody of interest, which was good because it meant no secret bodyguards or hidden tricks. I winced remembering the last time I’d been blindsided by a secret bodyguard who had been tagging me.
I sat down and waited to be seated. A waiter in a fine suit approached and beckoned me to follow him. He began moving towards the center of the room and I promptly ignored his gesturing and moved into a small dark alcove in the back of the inn. I took a cursory look around the room looking for anything of interest. My eyes locked onto a rather fancy looking golden bracelet on a nobleman’s wrist.
I slipped forward sidestepping the waiter. I moved myself to intercept him and ran into him directly, he fell over and I put a worried look on my face and reached down to help him.
As I brushed him off and helped lift him up apologizing profusely I slipped the clasp of the bracelet off. I slipped it into my pocket while he grumbled about fumble footing. With one last apology I left the inn and began walking back towards the Outcity.
However as I approached the gate I looked at concern at the 20 some heavily armored city watchmen standing guard. I turned around already thinking of my backup route out of the wall, then I collided with a wall and fell backwards.
I looked up and icy cold panic flooded my mind at the sight of the nobleman I had just robbed. He looked down at me, but not with the disgust I thought he would be but more with curiosity.
He looked at his bracelet which I had been trying to hide under my back but he simply shook his head and said, “Keep it I can get more.”
I looked at him confused before saying, “What do you want with me?”
He raised his bushy eyebrow and said, “A blunt one I see.”
I mumbled under my breathe about his bluntness but paused when he said, “But, you’re a very good thief, yes?”
I nodded and said, “Yessir I’m the best you’ll find in all of Docean.”
He nodded looking me up and down, I felt uneasy at the cunning glint in his predatory eyes.
He looked up and said, “The citadel 12 o clock sharp tomorrow, now I’d get moving before those guards get here.”
I stood up and moved towards my secondary escape route and with one last glance at the nobleman I turned and fled. I slipped down the alley and reached a dark, wet spot of the wall, ignoring the beggars hiding in these dark spots and going crawling through the broken sewer drain.
Later that day when I slipped back into my alcove I thought back on the day and decided that maybe I would go to the citadel, just for a peek of course.
submitted by Front-Strike-8690 to HFY [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 20:08 TheNewDevil92 Don't know what I'm doing wrong

I (30M) am recently trying dating online and IRL. And to be honest it has been somewhat frustrating for multiple reasons.
I am 6 ft tall, I am somewhat handsome, I have a good paying job. I have a car and knowledge of all the good places in my city. I also know how to use the bus. I am about to buy a house. I would like to get married and have kids. I am ambivert. Mostly related to the geek side of things. I have ease of speech and have spoken several times in events and reunions so I am pretty confident. I dress as cleanly as possible and my personal hygiene is good.
I got impeccable reputation from work and other places, people keep constantly saying I'm a good man in most places.
I'm looking for something serious. As in a relationship that can end in marriage. (With several years of travel and fun things before of course, I clarify that I am not a completely trad guy but I stick to that role as much as I can, I am flexibl).
Here's my experience in those two settings:
1: OLD
Basically I am that wierd guy that ACTUALLY gets matches from girls (tinder, bumble) (more than 10 per month or so) but those matches basically mean nothing. Generally I get a good conversation out of most girls but when I ask them out to actually talk they start ghosting me. It's just a plain waste of time most cases.
The only times I've actually went out with two out of all my matches the girls were really boring.... They didn't wanna share a lot of details about them and were basically the stereotype of girl who only wanted a free meal. Super bad.
2: Physical places
I attend mostly cosplay events geek stuff of all kinds. Almost every girl I hang around has a boyfriend (objectively speaking because I am NOT looking for someone who's indecisive of it's partner and doesn't want to end the relationship before getting into another) so they are strictly in all sense of the word FRIENDS or ACQUAINTANCES (multiple cases). Getting that out of the way there were a few girls that are single that I've invited to hang out and chat...
Another place I've tried to look for is in the (most recent) workplace, and here LITERALLY all girls have a boyfriend with relationships that have lasted up to 6 years, some 3 years some around that number (which I don't particularly would like... If I'm lasting that long I'd be commiting btw).
And I do shooting sports in my country which is really hard compared to doing in it in a country like the USA but usually old men hang in there. No girls at all.
I also go to the gym but I have the same problem as in the workplace. Everyone is taken. Actually the 100% of girls.
My two most recent cases were:
1.- I talked a lot with this girl at the cosplay events and at a friend's house. She said that she would love to hang out and find out more about me. So I invited her over (for 3 weeks, messaged her once a week telling her if she wanted to hang out to different places) and she always had an excuse.
(Those being: I have a cold, I am attending to a church event, my aunt's birthday)
I didn't quite believed it but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. After those 3 times I stopped asking her and told her to call me when she had time.
2.- Another girl I met at my previous workplace. We've been messaging quite a while but she seems too, to always puts up an excuse similarity to the other girl (again, my policy is that usually I stop asking after 3 times tops) This girl has put up an excuse two times already saying "I'll come if I end up this other business first" that business being another thing she had with her friends.
The thing is that they seem to have interest but when they're home they lose it (what I'm perceiving is mostly lazyness and a lack of interest).
Is there anyway I can change this streak of luck? I really hate talking to a girl, saying I want to get to know her more (literally opening my feelings which feels shameful and makes me feel vulnerable every time) and then getting excuses for the reasons they can't or being downright ghosted.
What am I doing wrong? What can I change?
submitted by TheNewDevil92 to dating [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 20:08 nathaquarius My 10+ best friend turned out to be a narcissist (the long story)

TW: trauma, drugs/alcohol.
Our friendship began during our teenage years, brought together by our shared connection through our ex-partners. Initially, our bond was strong and exciting, and we quickly became very close. However, it is important to note that my observations and conversations with professionals, friends, and exes of theirs have led me to recognize certain patterns and behaviors that align with the traits of covert narcissism. While I don't want to hastily label them, the evidence suggests a possibility that they may exhibit these tendencies. It took time and reflection for me to fully acknowledge and understand this aspect of our friendship.
During that period, I was grappling with deep insecurities stemming from an unstable home life and traumatic experiences. Both of my parents were absent for various reasons, and I endured bullying at school, resulting in low self-esteem. Similarly, R had their own challenging life circumstances, although they didn't openly discuss them. Instead, they emphasized their intelligence, passion for music, and love for exciting experiences. This set the stage for our friendship, characterized by shared angst and the complexities of our respective difficult lives.
When we were around 18 years old, our friendship took a turn as we both began pursuing diplomas to enter college or university. During this time, R entered a new relationship and became heavily invested in dating and platforms like Tinder. In contrast, I was focused on my passion for text-based role-playing, unaware of my ADHD/CPTSD diagnosis at the time. As R's relationship progressed, they started criticizing my hobbies and special interests, portraying them as lame and suggesting they would hinder my chances of being taken seriously or making friends as an adult. Their words deeply affected me due to my insecurity and desire to be liked, especially since R seemed to effortlessly attract attractive partners and make friends. It became clear that their friends also found me strange. While, not at first, our mutual friends did like me at first, but over time that would change. I know, that despite my weirdness, I wasn't that unlikable. Impossible, especially since I didn't have those problems at my karate dojo, for example. I struggled to understand what was inherently unlikable about me and focused on addressing my insecurities and negative self-image in therapy, gradually making progress over time.
Despite having a gut feeling that R spoke negatively about me, I dismissed it as my insecurity talking. At that time, I was in an abusive relationship, which R was aware of but didn't seem to believe. Whenever I shared how my boyfriend treated me, R would dismiss it as me being overly dramatic and suggest that if it was truly that bad, I should leave. Confused about the severity of the situation due to my love for him, I questioned whether it was "bad enough." However, a pivotal moment occurred when R, a friend, my boyfriend, and I went to the cinema, and my boyfriend publicly yelled at me. The friend spoke up, expressing concern and stating that this behavior was unacceptable. It was during this incident that R finally stood up for me, acknowledging how severe the situation was. Reflecting on it now, I find this reaction truly remarkable. Also, because after that incident, they started to downplay it again. It took me several months to end the traumatic relationship, which I did while he was interning abroad. I needed support and someone to talk to about it, turning to my best friend, R. However, once again, they dismissed me as dramatic and asked me to stop burdening them with my issues, as it hindered their studies. This further fueled my insecurities and self-doubt. With so much going on in my life, I could understand how it might be perceived as "dramatic," prompting me to internalize my problems and withdraw emotionally.
Unfortunately, our friendship took a turn for the worse. I found myself constantly criticized and judged by R. They would belittle me for being closed-off, criticize my posture, and deem my clothes as boring. It seemed like I could never measure up to their standards. On the other hand, R would constantly boast about how amazing and smart they were, occasionally throwing compliments my way only because they believed that smart people should be friends with other smart people. In social settings, they would appear caring towards me, but would also make mean-spirited jokes that I failed to recognize as hurtful at the time. It became ingrained in my mind that being "funny" was now my defining trait.
Despite my dedication to karate and not indulging in drinking or drugs, R made jokes about karate, labeling it as cult-like, and convinced me that it was robbing me of my youth and freedom. Eventually, they managed to persuade me to dabble in occasional drinking and even try drugs. Looking back, I feel foolish and plagued by thoughts that I should have stood up for myself, been more confident, and assertive. Regrettably, I was not.
In the last three years, my realization grew stronger. I reached a point where I was suicidal, with R being one of the reasons behind my despair. R came with the idea to rent an apartement together, so we could live closer to our universities. I was hesitant about the idea, my gut feeling was telling me it was a bad idea and could potentially ruin our friendship. I wasn't sure. But R managed to convince me. We rented an apartment together in a different city while pursuing our studies, but living together became unbearable. I had gained some confidence and refused to let R walk all over me anymore. When they left a mess, I confronted them about it, only to be dismissed as dramatic. However, if I left even the smallest trace of a mess, I was met with disgust and labeled as gross. Financially, I struggled due to the expenses of moving into the apartment, while R was more stable. R told me they wanted to move and leave the appartement we both rented. I felt conflicted, hurt and sad, but agreed, since it obviously wasn't working. We made some agreements about how to handle this. But they went behind my back, ignoring the agreements we had made. During this situation, they blamed me for making stuff up. They had arranged everything and found a new appartement without notifying me. I was stressed, angry, deeply hurt and confused. I got severe panic attacks because of this. I wasn't against the idea of finding our own apartments, but that they would leave me in the dust, just like that, was truly confusing. Again, R managed to soothe my feelings by promising me that they'd still pay half of the rent. But when push came to shove, they said they'd never promised me that. I snapped and spiraled down into depression.
During this period, I began to strongly suspect R's potential narcissism as the patterns became unmistakably clear, especially as I delved into learning about personality disorders. I was aware of my own ADHD and CPTSD at this time, but not yet my autism. I was stressing and worrying about how I had to get myself out of this situation. Fortunately, a friend of mine came to my aid, lending me the money to search for my own place and covering the last month's rent.
My friend, who later became my fiancé, identified R as a narcissist and pointed out that I was being gaslit. I, too, held that suspicion but was reluctant to accept it. I internalized all the blame. R had moved away, and I began making preparations for my own move, while living alone in that apartment.
I was exhausted and overwhelmed by life. I found myself planning my own suicide. During R's housewarming event, I found myself on the brink of ending my life. Erik (the friend who lended me the money), my friend and now fiancé, grew concerned for me. He was invited to the gathering as well, so I confided in him and R about my decision not to attend. R responded with anger, expressing disappointment and accusing me of being envious. Worried, Erik encouraged me to reconsider and make a decision in the moment. Reluctantly, I agreed to go for a short while. R was thrilled that I would at least make an appearance. I made it clear that I wouldn't be drinking or using drugs and explicitly asked not to be offered anything, as I was well aware of my impulsive nature and wanted to protect myself. Despite still planning my suicide and having written letters, I went to the event. Other friends, including Sophia, my psychologist friend, were also at the party, creating a somewhat comfortable atmosphere. Seeing Erik by my side gave me some solace. I convinced myself that everything was fine with my friendship with R, attributing my struggles to financial difficulties and a mere misunderstanding.
However, alcohol entered the picture. I had a glass of wine. Then R revealed they had MDMA pills. It was a terrible decision. Sophia and others took pills, except for Erik. I was still unsure, but R managed to persuade me to take half a pill instead of a whole one. It turned out to be a disastrous choice. R became completely self-absorbed, while Erik and Sophia took care of me. Under the influence of MDMA, my emotional walls crumbled, and even previously unclear traumas came to light. I could no longer hide the depths of my despair. Only when I mentioned my intention to end my life did R intervene. They began singing my favorite song, and I broke down in tears, shaking uncontrollably. Sophia later shared her observations of that night, recounting how R treated me, prioritizing their own party and largely ignoring me, only briefly checking on me to show a semblance of being a good friend. Sophia also revealed a comment R made to her: "Of course she has a bad trip during my party."
After I moved into my new apartment and closed that chapter of my life, Erik stayed with me and became my source of support. Over time, Erik and I grew closer and started a romantic relationship. This didn't sit well with R. Erik and R were close friends, and as Erik opened up to me, I learned about the things R had been saying behind my back. It became evident that R had been spreading falsehoods about Erik as well. The truth slowly unfolded, exposing R's habit of talking negatively about others behind their backs. This marked the first end of our friendship, initiated by R. I wanted to repair it, but R claimed that I had changed because of Erik and was no longer enjoyable to be around. They accused me of being a bad friend for "choosing Erik" and stated that they couldn't continue the friendship if I was with him. I refused to choose sides, although I briefly considered it due to my loyalty to R. The fact that they had asked of me to choose between them and my boyfriend angered me and made me aware of how toxic they could be.
Several months later, while I was grocery shopping, R called me. We started hanging out again, having numerous discussions and acknowledging the events that had transpired. R expressed remorse for their mistreatment of me, and I was relieved and grateful, although I found myself apologizing as well, despite not fully understanding what for.
Our friendship continued for another two years until I finally ended it for good about a month ago (6th of may to be exact). The realizations became painfully clear. R had used me for my limited financial resources and as a means to boost their own image. I often felt overshadowed by them and even wrote poems about it in my younger years. I was always there to support them, going to their house in the middle of the night whenever they needed me. However, they never showed vulnerability or reciprocated emotional support. It seemed like I was merely a distraction to them. I realized that I was the only close friend who remained by their side. All their friends left them at some point.
Towards the end of our friendship, R's resentment towards my success became evident. They belittled everything I did or created, labeling it as cringe. This was the final straw for me. Despite my progress, personal growth, and accomplishments, R couldn't be happy for me. It became evident that they had been using me, being a bad friend, gaslighting me, and manipulating me. Narcissistic Personality Disorder seems to be a fitting description, though it was Erik who had pointing this out, with Sophia backing this up. Even my therapist didn't deny this (nor did she agree, since that would be very unprofessional) R always portrayed themselves as superior, spoke ill of me behind my back, and spread doubts about my future success. Reading through my old conversations, diaries, and recalling memories, the truth became painfully clear. I also met with two of het exes. The most recent one and the one she had a three year long relationship with. I simply wanted their point of view, without telling them about my thoughts. Those conversations became very interesting, really fast. They did their stories first, confirming what I'd been suspecting. I felt so bad about doing this, but I needed something, since I mildly believed I was the crazy one. According to all the evidence, I am not crazy. Both exes said; "I never understood why they spoke so ill about you, while they called you their best friend."
I sympathize with R and acknowledge the impact of their traumatic experiences and possible NPD. Their upbringing, particularly the way their mother and grandmother treated them, played a role in shaping their behavior. While I genuinely hope R receives the necessary support and finds healing, I've reached a point where I can no longer continue the friendship. It's important for me to focus on my own healing and well-being.
submitted by nathaquarius to NarcissisticAbuse [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 20:01 Primary-Cicada-3430 Liar

So my mother in law (50F) is at it again. A couple of days ago she last second invited us (my bf 26M and I 23F) to dinner to celebrate her youngest daughter (6F) for starring in her schools play. We weren’t told about it until the last second and as we have a new puppy we can’t both go to events unless we have something prior planned. She knows this as she has agreed to let her youngest son (12M) be our babysitter while he’s not in school during the summer vacation. So I agree to stay behind as my boyfriend is really excited to see her preform. We are then invited to dinner after but we run into the same problem, and being as this was a last minute thing I already had made plans with a friend. I was willing to cancel with my friend because she’s really understanding and I also love my bfs youngest sister she is so sweet and we are very close.
Before my boyfriend could finish telling his mom that I was willing to cancel on my friend his mom blew up on him and I saying I am a terrible girlfriend and I ruin every event in life. She also stated that I always tear him away from family and that I never want to come over or let him go over. All of these are lies as I encourage my bf to go to his parents whenever possible because I’ve always believed family is the most important thing in the life. And even though they always make me feel like shit about myself I still am at every event as long as I am off from work. I work in EMS so my schedule is pretty forgiving as it always rotates so I don’t miss most things. And I have only missed 2 things during our 2 year relationship.
She ends up calling me a bitch to my bf and saying that I am no good for him and will ruin his life because I am so “ghetto and nasty” (she says this because I grew up in a very small town on a ranch. And she thinks that being from a town only slightly bigger makes me trash compared to them. I also did grow up very poor and they did not and don’t understand why we couldn’t “just work harder”. I was 4 and she thinks I could have worked harder to make my family no poor…..)
Cut to the next day. My bf’s oldest, younger brother (18M) graduates today. We were planning on going over to celebrate in the morning when my bf got off of working nights and bring coffee and donuts for our graduate. But because if the fight my bf says he needs to talk to his mom alone.
He ends up coming home 2 hours later seething mad at me. And I am confused. He says he will always be on my side because he knows his mom is a bitch. But she had told him that I was messaging the graduate on Snapchat and saying nasty things to him because he wouldn’t be able to watch the puppy for us to go see him graduate. Which makes no sense and was why I was apparently making him feel very uncomfortable and scared about me being at his graduation.
1 I don’t have him on Snapchat. 2 I would never say that and have many other people in my life to watch our puppy for a couple of hours.
I told my bf this and said I never have and never would say anything like that to anyone in my life. I didn’t buy the puppy with his brother I bought the puppy with my boyfriend. So I can’t and wouldn’t be mad with anyone for not being able to help me out because that just isn’t who I am and that would be dumb.
He calls his brother the graduate to confirm that I am not the liar. And his brother says I never messaged him and his mom is making up stuff because she doesn’t like me.
It then comes out that she’s been lying to my bf for our entire relationship almost (2 years) to make me look bad but he’s never seen me act in the way she describes and hasn’t believed her because she’s done this to him in past relationships. But when she said his brother also hated me he got scared because that’s never happened.
She’s desperate to break us up. I am his longest relationship and he is my longest as well. She is genuinely crazy and I think she has been doing other stuff to try to make me break up with him. His emails keep getting hacked by some random phone in town signing him up for tinder and other dating apps. He gets so frustrated and tells me immediately when it happens. I wasn’t the one who found out he told me about them. I really believe she is doing it. It reports the exact same phone as hers just no number.
I was crying so hard because of this whole ordeal I threw up and I feel like I can’t move.
Why do they have to be so vile.
submitted by Primary-Cicada-3430 to motherinlawsfromhell [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 18:39 H8rfirstandforemost Another perspective

Maybe Michelle is the victim here?
I don’t entirely think so BUT she’s changed so drastically since she’s gotten with Kevin. I know she’s definitely not happy in her relationship because
A) no one genuinely happy in their relationship needs to post about it 24/7 and try to convince others that they’re happy and living their “dream life” B) no one living their “dream life” is going to be so miserable, hateful, condescending etc., C) no one feels the need to change their entire personality, down to what they wear, once they get into a new relationship D) if she was genuinely living her best life she wouldn’t care so much to spend every giving second of her day and life online eliminating, deleting and blocking any evidence against it. E) we all know that she does not live the lifestyle she preaches but she was so good at hiding it for 2 whole years — if it wasn’t for this Reddit, I wouldn’t have found out that she doesn’t follow her own rules and is a hypocrite, also wouldn’t have known about Kevin’s porn addiction — what if she’s hiding other things? She’s so good at it she could create a fake reality that she’s trying to convince herself and others to believe (which seems so accurate).
Idk Their relationship surely is a sham but what if it’s also abusive (not necessarily physically, but emotionally). In my experience, my best friend used to be dating the “PERFECT GUY,” smart, had money, was going to Harvard BUT once she started dating him she changed SO much. She was always super insecure, she would be so mean and condescending towards me because she was super against my relationship (which I’m still in and happy as hell in), she always talked about how her life was perfect BUT then he finally broke up with her when he was done (basically using her) and I learned that he was horrible to her. Told her he was dating her for the time being because she was “okay to look at” but she was beneath him and when he runs for president one day he couldn’t see her by his side. He had a tinder while they were dating but she pretended not to know because she was attached; dependent; insecure etc.
The only way I found out about all this was after they broke up and a few months had passed and she was talking to someone new. She protected him because she wanted to convince everyone that she was happy, in a fulfilling relationship, and better than everyone (me) because she was dating a man with money. More importantly, he’d only buy her things when he fucked up and wanted sex, he’d never travel to see her and always made him travel to see him, he was HORRIBLE.
It reminds me so much of Michelle because besides my friend, Michelle was the only person who ever made me feel bad about being with a man who was working to reach his goals (and is doing amazing) vs with an “established” “rich” man
submitted by H8rfirstandforemost to michellediazsnark [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 16:33 No_Razzmatazz_2019 Do I (27f) stay and try to continue to make it work with him (35m)?

So I'm just looking for advice. I (27f) have been with a guy (35m) for almost 4 years and it feels like it's going no where. We live together and share all expenses. But he drinks excessively and with the alcohol abuse comes the mood swings, blackouts, and memory loss. He's never physically abused me, but will have big temper tantrums and slam everything around to the point where I just dissociate and hid out of sight. We never have sex anymore and he comes up all sorts of reason on why. I found his tinder account (no girl would respond back) months ago and that was a whole ordeal of me have to “build trust back and get over my hurt feelings". He's not affectionate and I've tried to speak to him multiple times on trying to fix the issues or maybe we should just be friends but he will cry which will then turn to anger at me for the rest of the night but we live together so it makes it so hard. I guess I'm just looking for life advice on how to move forward safely? I don't feel he would ever do anything to physically hurt me but he is a very petty man.. The last time when I've talked about how I'm feeling he's became so irrational and felt I was attacking him so he tried to kick me out even though we both moved into our rental together and paid everything 50/50. I've tried everything from only using "I" statements to literally rubbing his back and calmly explaining my side of things to even the yelling side (but we all know that doesn't work). He feels all I do is complain or nag, but in reality I'm just tired & done with the same old. I used to be so in love with him to the point where I'd skip my plans (work, school, friends, etc) just to make sure he's okay, but now the way he treats me and acts makes me want to leave in the middle of the night. He's all I've known for 4 years but now I feel I've completely lost my light and don't even know who I am anymore. My friends are all telling me to get out and that I've changed, but what do you do when it's all you know..?
submitted by No_Razzmatazz_2019 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 16:24 DaraDollina69 Coming out when people start noticing when you don't pass

It was my plan to start coming out when people started noticing the effects of hrt. Here we are approaching 1.5 of hrt.
My child's mother(havent been together for over 6 years) asked me to meet with her privately to talk about their behavior at school about a month and a half ago. The first question she asked me was "is there anything going on with you?" I felt cornered but also relieved? She felt it was time I came out to our child as well because they were asking her gendered questions every day, can boys do this can girls do that etc. I thought it was time too.
I had started dating this wonderful enby around this time that I met on tinder. My profile was without a face pic and a bio saying I'm trans looking for my confidence. Meaning I need help in my sense of fashion and makeup, I'm also bi/pan. In hindsight I realize this was a very selfish approach. Things seemed to be going well between us besides the fact we are both bottoms, I was willing to be switch if they were. I hardly saw a glimpse of their switch side they said they wanted to explore more.
Ffw to the weekend I come out to my child, I read She's My Dad to them, great book for this btw. I could hardly choke back the tears after the first page. They seem a little resistant after I explained everything, I let them know I'll love them the same and I'll always be their dad. They can't keep a secret very well so I decided to send a group text to my parent amd siblings. The only ones didn't know yet were my two older brothers. I included my parents and younger sister for an opportunity to show their support. I heard back from nobody and that hurt. I felt alone and cried a lot that night.
While this was happening the person I was dating was falling into a bpd episode. I don't let the people I'm dating into my child's life for the fear they'll only be in my life temporarily. So once kiddo was picked up by their mom we played some mariocart and smashbros online past my bedtime for it was a work night. Everything seemed well between us as we signed off. I woke up to a text saying how she isn't ready to date when they aren't financially or mentally stable and how they were suicidal the day prior.
My boss and hr already knew I was trans. I let kiddo pick out my nail polish color. I usually just do black but they picked an organgish pink. So that morning at work I was feeling it, put up my hair all cute, cropped my oversized work tee revealing my jeggings and b cups, and emailed hr stating I started presenting at work. I still had to use the men's room the rest of the week. My Manger tried deadnaming me the Thursday before the email went out to the entire factory arguing its not official yet. My supervisor was on vacation and I was in charge of my line. I kind of blew up on him. My workplace has a zero tolerance policy.
The Tuesday the email was supposed to be sent out I was super nervous. When I signed into my computer my sign in info and email was still my deadname and the email hadn't been sent out yet. It wouldn't be sent out until I had already left for the day. I felt like I wasn't being taken seriously and that I was fucking everything up. Imposter syndrome started to set in and all of the things that didn't give me dysphoria became the focus of my attention. I felt ugly and disgusting. My stress was through the roof.
I think I'm way behind in my transition and that I've come out too soon. I need to speed run voice training and my gait. My family still deadnames me so I feel the need to prove I'm a woman to them even at home. I can't just leave because I wouldn't be able to have joint custody of my kid without them. I just started therapy Tuesday as well so I'm hoping I cam get a referral for ffs and an orchi asap. I wish I started that sooner too
I guess this is a bit of a vent and I'm sharing so others don't make the same mistakes I did. I feel like I shot myself in the foot. I have the day off to kind of process everything, might go disc golfing later.
Love
submitted by DaraDollina69 to MtF [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 15:03 Short-Number3176 How To Hack My Boyfriend's/girlfriend's WhatsApp Messages How Can I Hack Into Cheating Partner's Facebook And Instagram Accounts Remotely Hire A Hacker

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submitted by Short-Number3176 to u/Short-Number3176 [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 12:06 Throwaway_PA_1234 Wife and I are getting divorced few months after she met a guy, I don't know what to think

Hello ! I have a hard time navigating my current situation . I'm seeking a therapist, because I think I have many issues that will need to be adressed before entering another relationship. That being said, I don't know any poly people IRL, and I'd like to have your opinion. And vent a bit.
TL;DR : we are getting a divorce after my wife met her boyfriend, and I don't know what to think.
My wife (34F) and I (33M) are having a divorce. We met in 2012, married in 2018. We have two kids (6M and 4F). We decided to open our relationship back in 2019. We were quite happy back then, and thought it would be fun. She quicly got a boyfried, who was not into polyamory, or even into open relationships. I never met him. It was hard for her to navigate. She felt a special connection with him. He was a bit jealous, and sometimes I felt like I was in the way, like if I had not been there, they could have enjoyed a great relationship. He lived in anouther city so she couldn't see him as much as she wanted. Covid lockdowns didn't make it any easier. It was rough, and she ended up leaving him, but she was super sad. I did my best to comfort her, but I probably did a mediocre job at it considering how I felt myself. Seeing her hesitate made me feel really insecure, and I think I handled this poorly. I became both clingy and distant (it sounds weird, but I don't know how to describe it better), and stayed that way for some time even after they had broken up. She met a few other guys who were poly, one of whom I also met and played some RPG with, everything seemed to be cool. Then, in march, she met another guy, who wasn't into poly or open relationships either. I met him once, but that was really quick and we barely said hello to each other. She felt this intense connection again, to the point where she spent hours on the phone with him, and talked about bringing him in to live with us. I became distant and insecure again, and a month ago, she decided to break up with me. At first, we decided to give ourselves a few months to try to mend our relationship, it went well for a few days but she opted out after about a week.
I suggested counseling, but she doesn't want to. She said she still loves me, but doesn't think our relationship can work, mainly because of how I communicate, but also because of past things that still bother her. I had trust issues in the beginning of our relationship, and I wasn't as thrilled as she tought I would be for our big steps (babies, wedding, house). The fact that I did not tell my parents that we were poly also seemed to bother her, but we did not have the time to discuss it since she told me that after we broke up.
For context, I kissed a girl at a party, but I didn't have any girlfriend. I did create a Tinder account at one point, with pictures, bio and everything, but I got no match. While it perplexed my now ex wife, it didn't really bother me. I've never been good at dating, so I kinda knew this would be the case when we opened our relationship. However, the open/poly relationship was not forced on me, and I did enjoy the freedom of mind/not having to overthink stuff when talking to women.
Our sex life was not great, and it hadn't been in years. It started great, but then dwindled, probably because of pregnancies. I suggested things to rekindle it, like taking pictures, writing fantasies or playing some games. It didn't seem to work well, but I couldn't figure out why, even after talking to her. By the end of our relationship, I was too insecure to even initiate sex with my wife. I had told her about those insecurities. She didn't want to be the only one to initiate, which I totally understand. She may have had some insecurities too, since pregnancies changed her body. She told me once about that. The situation weighted on both of us, and we had some arguments on that topic.
I was doing my fair share around the house, and with the kids. She regularly expressed her gratitude about that. I also helped her when she started to write books, by watching more after the kids, or doing a bigger share of the chores. I did the same when she went to conventions to sell her books, which again she was grateful for. She offered to do the same for me when I started a side project, but I never used that opportunity since said side project never took off.
Me being distant did stress her out. She complained about that, asking me to open up to her, but I had a hard time doing so.
Sorry for this mess of a post, I don't really know what to think about all this. One the one hand, I do think we could have made this work. On the other hand, seeing how quickly things went makes me think our marriage was already dead and she just needed a good reason to end it. In the beginning I was hoping that she would reconsider her decision, but it seems very unlikely by now.
submitted by Throwaway_PA_1234 to polyamory [link] [comments]


2023.06.08 21:53 SingerInteresting318 I (22f) found a tinder code on my bf (23m) phone

What would you do in this situation??
My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months now. The other day I went through his phone (I know not the best move when he would definitely just hand me his phone if I asked) and I found a tinder code in his recently deleted messages. I confronted him about it and he said that he had a “moment of weakness” and was “unsure” about us because I can be overbearing at times. I found that to be a bs answer and was confused how it was suddenly my fault. I’m hurt. And don’t know what to do. He told me that in the 2 seconds he downloaded it he realized he was wrong and that he realized how much he loved me in that moment. I told him that that is fcked and that he should have talked to me about these feelings rather than doing this while I was asleep next to him in his bed. He also said that he never created the account just typed in his email and phone number but never even typed his name or added pictures to a profile. I told him I can’t trust him now and he said he understands and will try to make it up to me. Anyone I’ve confided in about this has told me to leave him and that I deserve better. And I agree. I can’t bring myself to do it. I love him. I don’t know what to do. Side note; I’ve been cheated on in every relationship I’ve ever been in, he knows this and he knows my insecurities about this. We also met on tinder so I know how the codes work. Any advice would help. Thx!!
submitted by SingerInteresting318 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


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Her Contact Link
Email: Cybersolutionss000 AT GMAIL DOT COM

WHATSAPP: +44 7513 942780

TELEGRAM: +44 7908451481


She can access accounts on any social media you can think of such as

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Her Contact Link
Email: Cybersolutionss000 AT GMAIL DOT COM

WHATSAPP: +44 7513 942780

TELEGRAM: +44 7908451481


She can access accounts on any social media you can think of such as

Instagram, Facebook, twitter, tinder, snapchat, tiktok, WhatsApp, discord and so on. Some of her many services includes: Social media hacks, (WhatsApp, Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Facebook messenger, Viber etc.), Incoming calls Restrictions, GPS Location Tracker, School Grade Upgrades, Intercepting and Retrieving of Instant messages, Credit Score Upgrade, WhatsApp Spy, USSD Control Commands, Facebook/Messenger Spy, Skype Spy, Hacking into Database of all kinds, Internet Usage Monitoring, Calendar Monitoring, Video Game Hacking and Cracking, Remotely Accessing SMS, Remote Email Spying, Key logging, and many more. She also gave me an option of a total refund if i encountered any displeasing factor about the job but that option was totally not needed because she did a good job.
submitted by New-Birthday-759 to u/New-Birthday-759 [link] [comments]