13 reasons why epi

i just cant anymore everytime its the same shit no seems to care enough to stay at my site or betray me those who dont i just push away and fuck i dont even know myself why i just constantly run in cycles everything just so dull im full with fucking anger but no one listens everyone expects me to keep giong on my own as if i was able to do that at this point abd instead of helping what do they do they make fun off me they laugh at me for not knowing shit they should have been teaching nothing changes and it has been like that for nearly 13 years i dont want to live like that or at all anymore and for what everytime i step forward i fall back on me fucking arse ten times i see no point in live if its that shit

If you're reading this I appreciate you being here.
I love this sub. I took ownership of it about 5 years ago. It grew from about 1k subs to about 12k
I tried to create easy and reasonable sub rules and it's gone well, thanks to all of you users.
We have some good mods too, and I appreciate the comments in the sub and help you've done.
I guess this summer Reddit is changing their API and it will stop 3rd party apps like Redditisfun. Which is the only way I've ever used Reddit. I have never used it any other way and I've seen the actual Reddit app and it isn't for me. I'm just not going to use it. I also waste hours on here a day. Why am I doing this every day, when I can be riding lol.
Anyways, if Redditisfun breaks I'm going to stop using Reddit. It seems like a good time to give it up and do other things. It's been a good ride.
I'll likely be relinquishing the sub to someone else. I'm not sure who and exactly when (likely after the API changes) but I just wanted to let everyone know.
I also wanted to sincerely thank all of you users. I have enjoyed so much of your content. We even had famous riders like Cody Webb post on here. I look at every post here. If you've posted here in the past 5 years, I saw your post. I likely upvoted it too. Thank you all for being here.
I love Enduro. It's an amazing sport and lifestyle. I hope you all ride long lives and enjoy every moment.
Cheers

I've heard about this game a while back but never made too much of it because I read somewhere this was a moba so I brushed it off. Recently I started getting some videos popping up on my YouTube feed (one of them from lazy peon on a 2023 review) and realised it was actually an ARPG so it leaked my interest. Iirc at the time the game had close to 25k players because the multiplayer launched, but vmever since the population has been dropping like crazy to close to 1k players on prime time which is extremely concerning
Although the game looks interesting the price tag and the fact that's in early access are two big red flags for me because we all know how the vast majority of these EA games never get an actual full release so I'd like to ask wth is going on with the game right now? The launch of D4 can't be the reason why the population dropped so massively because this has been happening for the last 3 months Is it a gold time to our base the game? Are there any severe problems in its current state? Because I see a few peop praising the Dev team for listening to feedback, but on the other hand this extremely low population tied with the price and bad PR are preventing me to go on with the purchase

Why Devs?? Of all the chest piece talents to pick from, you picked a backpack talent for a the new brand set. I don’t understand the reasoning behind some of the decisions made for this game, surely with the new AR coming out it would of made sense to have AR dmg on the new brand set that you ironically named ‘Electrique’. Perfect tag team Perfect tamper proof Create a new chest piece talent! Some common sense and original thought/creativity would be awesome to see.

Its been 10 years since i started this dark Journey. It all started cuz my perfect life in a bubble burst due to heartbreak. Heh It's g Funny once you think about it. If she didn't make a fool out of me I wouldn't have started doubting myself, I wouldn't question everything, I wouldn't have started rebelling against society, against the world. If I'm being honest I'm thankful to her for making me who i am now. Ah you are probably thinking why I'm telling you all this rubbish. Hmmm call me ... sentimental. Well to be fair, after the pentacross society of fantasy unlocked the secrets of magic, rebelling against the world is as easy as sipping tea from a wine glass. Tho it's not easy to carry the weight of people you killed in cold blood. U never get used to the feeling of warm blood dripping from your hands... you know you should count yourself lucky i haven't taken your heart out of your body.. sigh I told you people.. NO! I specifically warned you people not to enter my domain, I told you not to disturb my peace, I TOLD YOU NOT TO TRAMPLE THE SANCTUARY I CREATED... . .(the dots represent time skip) . You said you name was ##***#.. hmmm I'll call you.. hero, yeah it suits you. A hero tied up and tortured in the evil villains castel.. if you ask me its been 3 weeks since u guys attacked me and lost and i captured your heart... literally. Hahahaha haaaaaa.... well it's not like you could do anything to me or escape till u have this curse etched in your heart.. rest easy hero we've got a lot to talk about . . . Ah you're awake... What's this? You're wondering why this castle is clean without any cleaning spells or servants.. that's because of the robot I made with my magic.. technically you can call them golems cuz th3y use magic instead of electricity.. but that's not what u really wanna ask, do you... you wanna know why you're alive after all it's been 3 months since your capture.. like i said before It's me being sentimental.. and i got no one else to talk to …
. . I've got to show u something.. this... see how the magic lines just wrap around the nodes and its not creating any redundancy in the formula.. i've added extra mana circuits to battle the looping problem and the efficiency... looking at your face you don't understand a thing... let's see... "magic circle function, will do job fine". Heh now u get it.. silly human.. well u go do what u want except leaving of course.. . . . . WHY ARE YOU HERE? DID YOU READ YOU JOURNALS!?.. I TREATED U LIKE A GUEST AND NOT A PRISONER... AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME.. BY READING. MY. JOURNALS. ABOUT MY OLD. LIFE... get out, go now before i rip you tO SHRED.. GET THE FUCK OUT THIS INSTANT. . . . . What do you want? I told you you're free to leave.. you're "people '' have not entered my realm for the last year and haven't done anything suspicious.. you can go to your world and leave this place behind.... why do you wanna know what i will do.. ah i see, the evil villain can't be left alone without any good reason.. don't worry, now that I've completed my magic circle I'll use it to go back in time... No. Not to turn things around... I just wanna see how i was before i lost her... you've read my journals.. you know she didn't love me as i did her but i did love her more than she could know.. she was killed as a result of my uprising. I never forgave your government to drop glintstone shrapnel missiles on my home town to stop me... and I never will... but if i stopped before.. she would be alive.. she would be happy... anyways get out or I'll really kill you this time... . . . . . Hmmm.. hero you've come back... it's been.. 3 years since I last saw you I think.. i don't know what time it really is due to all the chrono-disallow around me... oh this... it's nothing just a wound from a glintstone shrapnel... yeah i tried to change it.. change the history of the world itself... the world rejected it.. countless times.. until it didn't. It was probably an error but still it was something... I saw the universe split into two the moment I decided to redirect the missile. Although this world.. which I ruined from my actions still exists.. be happy that there is another version of this world which goes on normally... oh yeah after i die... the two universes will collide and the best possible result will be dominant and absorb the less dominant one... the less one being this universe... I'll cease to exist but everything else will have a chance to flourish... hero.. you'll be the new ray of hope for that world... heh yeah for you I've made some adjustments... you'll forget about me but you'll never forget the stuff u learned here... help the world flourish into a new golden age... a world without darkness. A world without me.. without Aeincrad.....

The only way to resolve this once and for all, is the community blocking her.
There’s a reason she’s not blocking anyone herself, if it’s so harmful to hethem.
If she is shunned, it will be done. Ice her out. Encourage newcomers to do the same to prevent this from happening again.
This is clearly not a ‘you have to’ type of thing but whatever they are wants this. Think, why aren’t they blocking anyone instead of fighting?
We need to stop feeding it, myself included.
Props to the 1 that gave me clarity finely.
For reference: https://www.reddit.com/Enneagram/comments/145h8l3/you_can_back_average_to_unhealthy_health_e8s_all/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
Anyways, moving on…
What are some of your favorite types that you’ve learned the most from?

I am suddenly extremely hateful of everything... and I can't understand why...
Ehh... probably just one of THOSE days...
Enjoy!
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Memory Transcription Subject: Marcel Fraiser
Date [Standardized human time]: November 13, 2136
God… Dammit… construction isn’t even completed, and we already have a riot…
GOD FUCKING-...
I hate the fact that I’m already having to deal with this so soon… I sighed as I turned to walk over to a part of the wall where I had a hidden compartment. Pressing in the code on a concealed keypad revealed a hidden compartment where a special pack was kept. I slung the pack along my back and clipped a special bracelet interface on my wrist.
I hope I can deter them away, I really don’t want to use violence if I can avoid it.
“M-Marcel?! What are you-? Are you planning to go down there?!” Slanek spoke up with much concern in his voice. He was always someone who cared greatly for my safety.
“Don’t worry Slanek… I’ll be fine. I’ll handle this.”
I walk out of my office and make my way to the security office where I see the many cameras of the parking lot. The rioters waved their signs which had the shapes of humans on fire and earth with a cross over it… These fuckers…
I take my seat next to the security officer, and begin to speak into the intercom. “Cease your aggression, predatory behavior from you lot will not be tolerated.'' The moment I speak through the intercom, the rioters seem to show offense to the idea of me calling the predatory. I continue, “You are transgressing on human institutions which are meant to improve your ways of life, and deter you away from the horrid practices of the Federation, your anti-human sentiment is unacceptable under new development. You are to disperse immediately, failure to comply will be met with defensive action against you.”
I let the words hang as the people in the crowd seemed to reconsider the course of action they should take. A Venlil spoke up however, “See?! THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE ARE AGAINST THEM! They will use violence against us if we don’t get them off our planet!”
…
Fucking idiots…
The riot went back to what it was doing before…
I checked to see the status of the defensive perimeter of the station, the turrets were loaded with the standard bean bag rounds and the water cannons were ready to fire highly pressurized water. The water heated quite a bit as well…
“I will give you one last warning… disperse immediately… your behavior is predatory in all ways and will not be tolerated.”
They did not cease… if anything they just got worse, they began to hurl rocks into the building. They were breaking several windows and seemed to be getting closer to the main door. I saw that a few had what seemed to be hair spray and lighters…
… So be it…
I nodded for the security officer to activate the defensive grid to rid us of this riot. I watched from the cameras as six turrets were revealed from their underground storage containers along the building and began to fire into the crowd. Bean bag rounds were fired from gatling turrets and launched tear gas from along the top into the largest parts of the crowd. The water turrets began to blast the crowd with heated water, blasting them back and causing many to drop their signs… They began to scream as the turrets began to fire, many in the crowd began to bolt out of the parking lot to escape the barrage of water and beanbags. Many were stumbling as they began to scramble and scatter. Once the smoke cleared, it revealed at least a dozen that were in the parking lot splayed out on the ground.
I got worried and figured the best course of action was to notify the paramedics regarding the riot. Maybe provide government officials with a recording of the riot as well… Not even until construction is completed… Fucking-...
I’m just… Tired…
Memory Transcription Subject: Jasuri, Zurulian Paramedic
Date [Standardized human time]: November 13, 2136
The Headquarters was fucking rioted… Their headquarters was fucking rioted!
…
They’re going to murder us all!
These morons! They riot and bring us closer to death with every bit of anti human propaganda they spout! Don’t they understand what they’re doing? Do they not have brains to think with?! Humanity was enraged enough as is! To dare to step on a twig while they’re sleeping is a recipe for extinction! People like them have already done enough!
We pulled up with three ambulances outside of the parking lot of the Police Headquarters. I burst open the ambulance rear door and ran out with the stretcher… There are several people scattered across the parking lot. I wheeled it over to the nearest person, a krakotl, who seemed to be a young adult.
My partner and I carefully lifted her onto the stretcher and began to wheel her away. We began to roll her over to the ambulance before I looked back at the entrance of the building. Walking over to us was the Overseer, Marcel…
Oh Great Protector be with me…
I was the higher ranked paramedic among my peers so they gestured me forward to converse with the human… I was terrified, but he seemed docile. I was lucky he didn’t express any anger. His facility was rioted, yet he seemed, collected.
“Hello there… M-Marcel… I am Jasuri… is there anything I-I could h-help y-you with?” I stuttered as he stared at me with a blank face.
“I am simply concerned… I don’t want anyone to have suffered fatal injuries…”
…
Really?
I would have figured the human to be furious with the offenders… to show empathy for them when they were assaulting a human institution. I found that baffling… Humanity clearly had empathy, and Marcel clearly showed that they had the most with how he seemed to care for transgressors.
“Oh… From what we can tell. They should make full recoveries… No one seemed to have suffered lethal damages…”
“I’ll leave you to it then…”
The human then proceeds to walk back to the entrance of the building… I didn’t know what that was all about. How Marcel seems to show so much concern for people like this…
…
I really hope he’s not the only human that’s like that…
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
(LORE DUMP!)
:: Exterminators a more controversial topic now more than ever... With humanity calling them enforcers of the federation's will, many have begun to think upon their words with actually curiosity... quite a few has begun to dive into research, and without exterminators around to silence them, it's only a matter of time before things about exterminators begin to become revealed... ::
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
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I have separated the combine move/interact/basic skill slot keybinds so that move and interact is left click and to use my basic skill I need to hold shift whilst pressing left click. I got annoyed of accidentally using basic skill instead of moving because I accidentally clicked on an enemy in the distance instead of open space. I had no issues with this until I recently made a Necromancer and noticed that whenever I use Decompose on an enemy my Necro stops instantly and walks up to them. I haven't had issues with any other basic abilities on any other class. I tried a workaround by keybinding Shift to basic skill instead of hold position but that then makes the decompose movement very slow and jittery for some reason. I don't know why it does this, as hold position is suppose to stop me from moving entirely yet somehow doesn't whilst using this ability.
Has anyone else had this issue and come up with a solution? Ty

(STRONG TOPICS LIKE SELF H4RM AND ABUSE) For some context my family line has had some bad mental health ranging from Bpd to deep depression to anxiety and eating disorders. Most of them coming from my fathers side, my father had Bpd and when I was young it was hard to grasp. He would have different episodes of cleaning and the house randomly buying a new couch wanting to repaint the whole house to laying on his bed only to move to use the bathroom and wouldn’t talk for days. It was hard for me and my brother (who’s 8 years older) to grasp. It was “which way is the wind blowing” is how my father was going to act. And this all affected my mom a lot and she constantly would talk about how she “wished she never married that man” she would never claim that they were married because she and I quote “didn’t want to be married to that thing”. Don’t get my wrong my mother is a very loving person to me and my brother and the reason she would act like this is because my fathers Bpd would cause him to flair up and abuse us verbally and physically. And his abused affected all of us and his abused cause me to have a lot of depression growing up. I mean I would get called a wh0r3 because I put 2 pieces of ham on his sandwich instead of 3. So starting from age 12 I would cut myself and hurt my body. Well when I was 14 we got our grades for the semester I got a 91 in math my mom a school teacher her self was furious and screams and yelled at me for hours. I still can’t remember what led to me saying this but I told my mother “I’m sorry I can’t be the perfect child like _____ kid why don’t I just cut deeper next time so you won’t have to worry about an imperfect child anymore”. After I said that my mom froze grabbed her purse and grabbed me by the wrist and started screaming about how she’s “sending me away to a hospital” and “after they get done with you you’ll stop being this way” . My mother dragged me to the door and almost out of the front door I had both feet planted on the sides of the door way not letting her take me. I still am traumatized by that situation my mother dragging me her 14 year old daughter by her wrist and hair saying that she was gonna “lock me up and they would change me so I can be better” All because she had to deal with my fathers mental issues and didn’t want to deal with her daughter's. ifs been years since that situation ive still never fully forgotten about it, my mom acts like it never happened. And ever since that situation ive never fully ever talked with anyone about my mental health or never cried in front of anyone cause im scared of their reaction. And since then I have had 3 attempts that I never told my mother about 1 that ended up with me being almost successful.

On April 29th of this year, I had committed the one sin that would cost me my eternity, if I ever had it at all to begin with.
The reason I believe this is because after thinking about this long and hard, I feel nothing but emptiness. But before I get to the details, let me tell you my story before that.
I was raised Christian my whole life, on the belief of Once Saved Always Saved. One time, when I was in school, I approached one of my teachers and I asked how to be saved. He told me to recite a prayer, a prayer which I now realize is non-biblical and does absolutely nothing in the long run. But I think I was saved for real when I heard news about the world possibly ending on September 23, 2017. It was after that, I decided to be baptized. And I was. I felt the need to preach the good Word of God. But I feel like immediately after I got my first phone and allowed that kind of access to the internet 24/7, things started going sideways.
I began hanging out with the wrong people online, and I started looking at things I shouldn’t have. After a while, I stopped praying, thinking that maybe I was too dirty to be forgiven. I now realize that was a lie from the enemy. The only times I did pray was when I was about to eat, but it was only in my head, never out loud since I didn’t know how to put it into words. I also prayed every time we traveled, and I prayed when my cat had urinary problems. I looked up videos about the Rapture and Hell every now and then, I even looked up the Locusts in Revelations one time after seeing a scene with locusts in a movie.
But still, overtime I spent more time looking at my phone, scrolling through social media, especially YouTube, with the occasional religious video popping up. One of them was a video about the unforgivable sin.
One night, I was looking at an article about an actor who had a past on Reddit. And all of a sudden, I just started crying thinking about all the things I’ve done in my life. And I remember thinking some thoughts that were telling me to curse God. Of course, I never did any of those. I didn’t realize it until now, but I believe that was the Spirit turning me over to a reprobate mind.
Still, time passed, and my faith began to waver and I began to indulge more time in sinful things. To the point where I stopped saying “God forgive me.” every time I finished doing them. And every time I found a comment in a YouTube video about preaching the good Word, I remember getting annoyed because it had little to nothing to do with the video. At first, it came out as “Not now, brother.” to eventually “Go away.” and “No one cares.” It wasn’t until thinking about it that I realize these comments, and the occasional songs, ads, and videos were signs from God to turn around and repent before it’s too late.
On April 20th, we had a blackout. And me, having just finished watching something scary, was absolutely terrified. If only I had just remembered to pray, maybe then I would’ve restored my faith. But stupid me, even after the power was restored I still never prayed. I continued acting out, talking to an invisible audience. Saying curse words all the while, eventually actually becoming comfortable with saying the Lord’s name in vain.
On April 27th, my mother and brother had to leave for an archery tournament while my father had to work over the weekend. I was by my lonesome for four days straight. I watched movies with emotional scenes where the love interest was angry and rejects the protagonist. And I began to imagine myself in the position of the love interest and Jesus in the place of the protagonist. I even played out scenes in my head where I would say I become an atheist. And then eventually out loud, I would rehearse what I would want to say in front of my church, telling them that I regret my baptism because I’ve done so much wrong I put it to open shame, and that all the mission trips are just wastes of time and money. I even said that Christianity was just propaganda drilled into my head. On April 29th, it was all over. I was sitting in my room, looking at my phone, watching negative things when all of a sudden, I got the thought to look up if God was a monster, and when I got results, I agreed with them. I broke down crying and began thinking about how my life was apparently wasted, and about my loved ones before me who apparently died for nothing, and then out loud and in tears I said “If there is a God, then He is a monster.” I don’t know why I looked it up or why I said it, but I guess I just wanted to give myself an excuse to cry or be angry for the sake of angry. Looking back, I should’ve stopped what I was doing and called my mom to remind me of the blessings He gave our family. After that, I went to sleep and didn’t think about it for the next few days.
On May 12th (I think), something in my head reminds me of what I said about God, I looked up “Is calling God a monster blasphemy?” And when results said yes, I got scared and cried and begged for Him to return. The day afterwards, I felt emotionally numb. I began to look up videos about apostasy, thinking maybe that’s what I did, but as the days went by I began to piece it all together, remembering what I did and what I said. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that what I did was either the result of the Devil putting a thought in my head, or of my own will.
So, that is my story. Tell me what you think and give me confirmation. And, please, take this story as a warning. Stay close to God, stay on the path.

Don't get me wrong, I've made plenty of great friends too, but I feel like almost everywhere I go, I always end up getting into a situation with one or two people who are considered outcasts and nobody else wants to be around, whether they be creepy guys or toxic/socially inept people in general. I always think they're normal and nice at first, but then their red flags start showing and I start realizing that they have no other friends for a reason. By the time I realize that, though, it's always too late because they've already gotten too attached, so when I try to cut them off, it gets really awkward and uncomfortable. I've had multiple relationships end badly because of this. I feel like it's always me who ends up being this victim and none of my other friends seem to have this problem.
I've thought about why this could be and maybe it's because my personality sometimes comes across as overly people-pleaseagreeable? I have social anxiety so I have a hard time standing up for myself and saying no, so maybe people see me as a pushover and that makes me an easy target. I've even gone so far as to think maybe my wardrobe and presentation has to do with it, too. I don't really care much about getting ready and how I present myself, and I have a sort of quirky, tomboyish style, if anything. There's obviously nothing wrong with that, but maybe the unusual way I dress could also be attracting people who have more odd/quirky tendencies? I honestly want to start caring more about my style and fashion for this reason, but I can't bring myself to because it's just not in me to do it.
Can anyone relate?

It took me almost three years and almost 4 months before my wedding to realize that I deserve better.
I had a conversation with a new coworker today and she was sharing how her fiancé has bipolar and it’s tough in a marriage when someone has heightened emotions. She told me she gives him space and support until he gets to where he needs to be and he usually realizes his mistakes and apologizes.
We were on the topic of lying and if I asked her if she would ever tell him that the reason she lied or withheld information was to avoid him getting upset.
She was appalled and responded “that’s really manipulative and toxic” and continued explain that “it doesn’t allow the person to feel an emotion in the first place and you’re blaming your mistake on something that didn’t happen”
That’s when it clicked.
All this time I told myself that it was in my head and I’m self sabotaging the relationship when I tried to leave the relationship due to a toxic pattern of my partner lying to me and then an excuse of why it was actually my fault.
I now respect and trust my intuition more- I trust that I will only grow from here on 🌟

As a bisexuality people, I'm having a hard time being impressed by people. I've worked myself into a corner it seems. Hell I may even be asexual so I'm not sure if this fits here but nothing seems to make me jump at people. There could be a few reasons why though.

I’ll be honest, I'm a little skeptical of posting here. Why? The same reason I’ve been on Reddit a while but never posted here - because I believe the best kind of sexual chemistry can’t be agreed to in advance. It needs to be organic and happen on its own accord. To make sure this happens, let’s keep the standards high. If you aren’t feeling it, I expect you to tell me and move on. To borrow the cliche, let’s really see where this takes us.
As for the 100% I give, that’ll come in the form of energy and good times. The reason I like the idea of a high bar for us, is because I’m confident we can make it happen.
And onto a bit about me. I’m a 30 year old married guy into travel, health and fitness, reading and self improvement. 182cm (6ft), 79kg (174lbs), fit, with brown hair and blue eyes. Financially in a position to fund anywhere this might take us - hotel rooms, dinners etc. I have a great life, but never want to take myself too seriously. I get on best with people who think similarly. I’ll (try to) make you laugh one minute, hit you with a deep question the next.
Something resonate? Come say hi and let’s get started!

Dear brothers and sisters in Christ,
I come to you today with a heavy heart and a message that must be shared. The end of days is coming.
We have all heard the prophecies of the book of Revelation and the signs of the times that Jesus spoke of. Wars and rumors of wars, earthquakes, famine, and disease are on the rise. The world seems to be spiraling out of control, and it's easy to feel overwhelmed and hopeless.
But as Christians, we must remember that our hope is not in this world. Our hope is in Christ, who conquered death and promised to return one day to make all things new.
We must also remember that the end of days does not mean the end of the world. It means the end of the current age and the beginning of a new one. A time when Christ will reign supreme, and all things will be made right.
But until that day comes, we must be vigilant. We must stay true to our faith, even when it's difficult. We must love our neighbors, even when they don't love us back. We must pray for our leaders, even when we disagree with them.
And we must share the good news of Christ with those who have yet to hear it. For when the end of days comes, it will be too late for those who have not accepted Christ as their Savior.
So let us not be afraid of the end of days. Instead, let us embrace it as a time of hope and anticipation. A time when we will finally see our Lord face to face and be with him forever.
May the peace of Christ be with you all. Amen.
As I sit here listening to the preacher's words, I can't help but feel completely detached from everything he's saying. It's like I'm watching a movie, but I'm not really there.
I used to be a devout Christian, but lately, something in me has changed. I feel like I'm going through the motions, but my heart isn't really in it.
The thought of the end of days doesn't really faze me anymore. In fact, sometimes I wonder if it would just be easier if it all ended. The world is so messed up, and I don't see how a loving God could let all this suffering happen.
I used to pray every night, but now I don't even know what to say. It feels like my faith has been drained out of me, and I'm left feeling empty and alone.
I know I should be seeking help or talking to someone about this, but I feel like no one would understand. My friends and family are all strong believers, and I don't want to disappoint them or be seen as a failure.
So, I continue to go through the motions, hoping that one day my faith will return. But as time goes on, I become more and more convinced that it's gone for good.
The end of days no longer holds any significance to me. It's just another event in a world that's already lost its meaning. And I don't know if I'll ever be able to find my way back to the faith that once gave me hope and purpose.
As I watch the news of the plague spreading across the world, I feel a sense of sadness and despair wash over me. The world is already so broken, and now this?
I used to believe that God had a plan, that everything happened for a reason. But now, I can't help but feel like we're all just pawns in some cruel game. How could a loving God let something like this happen?
Despite my doubts and questions, I still find myself praying. But it's more out of habit than anything else. I don't even know who or what I'm praying to anymore.
As the days go on, the situation worsens. People are dying left and right, and the world as we know it is falling apart. And yet, I still don't feel the sense of urgency or fear that I know I should.
Maybe it's because I've already lost my faith, or maybe it's just a defense mechanism. But I can't help but feel like this is all just a part of the cycle of life and death. We're born, we live, we die. It's all inevitable.
As I watch the world around me crumble, I can't help but wonder what the point of it all is. If there is a God, why would he let his creation suffer like this? And if there isn't, then what's the point of anything?
I know that these are dark thoughts, but I can't help but feel like I'm just being honest with myself. The end of days no longer holds any significance to me, because it feels like we've been living in the end of days for a long time now. what is faith but a mask we all wear. I think this as the mobs of people pull me from my home and hoist me onto a crudely built cross As I hang there, my arms stretched out and pain coursing through my body, I wonder if this is what it means to be faithful. To suffer and die for a belief that may or may not be true.as I hang here from this cross I can only describe it as an excruciating pain. My body feels heavy and every breath I take is a struggle. My hands and feet are nailed to the cross, and the blood is slowly trickling down my limbs. The heat of the sun beats down on me, and the sweat drips into my eyes, blurring my vision.
As the hours pass, my strength begins to fade, and I feel my life slipping away. I know that my death will be in vain. I offer nothing but hate and pain to those who have condemned me, and I ask my so called Father in heaven why he would allow this.
But as the mob below me cheers and jeers, I can't help but feel like this is all pointless. What does it matter if I believe in God or not? Does it really make a difference in the grand scheme of things?
I used to think that faith was a beautiful thing. That it gave people hope and purpose. But now, all I see is the violence and hatred that it can inspire.
As my vision starts to fade and my breathing becomes shallow, I wonder if I made the right choice. Was it worth it to hold onto my disbelief, even if it meant dying for it?
But in the end, it doesn't matter. Whether I lived or died, the world would keep turning. People would continue to believe what they wanted, and others would suffer for it.
As the light fades from my eyes, I take comfort in the fact that I stayed true to myself. That even in the face of death, I refused to wear the mask of faith.In my final moments, I feel a sense of release. The pain fades away, and I am enveloped in hatred and darkness. coughing blood spews from my mouth, as it falls to the ground to causes a hellish earthquake felt across the planet As the blood spills from my lips and hits the ground, I feel a surge of power coursing through me. It's as if all my pain and suffering has been transformed into something greater.
The earth shakes beneath me, the ground cracking and splitting open as the energy radiates outwards. People scream and run in terror as buildings topple and the very fabric of reality seems to fray.
But even in the midst of this chaos, I can't help but feel a sense of peace. I know that this is the end of my journey, that I have finally found my purpose.
As the last of my strength leaves me, I close my eyes and surrender to the darkness. And in that moment, I know that my legacy will live on. That the world will never forget the sacrifice I made, and the power that I unleashed.
For better or for worse, I have changed everything. And even in death, I will continue to shape the world around me.
Dark tendrils erupt from the ground and wrap around my body, I feel a sudden jolt of pain, followed by an overwhelming sensation of heat. The ground opens up beneath me, and I'm pulled downward into a swirling vortex of smoke and fire.
As I descend deeper into the underworld, I feel my body transforming. My flesh falls away, replaced by something darker and more powerful. I am reborn as a ruler of the damned, my eyes glowing with an unholy light.
The denizens of the underworld bow before me, recognizing my power and my authority. I am a master of the shadows, a lord of the abyss. And as I survey the landscape before me, I know that I have finally found my true calling.
No longer bound by the limitations of mortal flesh, I am free to explore the darkest corners of the universe. I am free to unleash my power and my wrath upon those who would dare to challenge me.
And as I bask in the glory of my new existence, I know that I will never again be bound by the petty concerns of the living. For I am now a creature of the night, a harbinger of doom, and a ruler of the damned. With my newfound power, I rise up from the depths of the underworld and make my way back to the world of the living. My mission is clear - to seek out those who had wronged me and make them pay for their sins.
As I walk among the living, I am a shadowy figure, barely visible to mortal eyes. But those who have wronged me can feel my presence, and they tremble in fear.
One by one, I seek out my enemies, and I strike them down with the force of my wrath. They scream and beg for mercy, but I am beyond mercy now. I am a creature of vengeance, and I will not rest until they have all been punished.
As I continue on my quest for revenge, I realize that my power has no limits. I am stronger than any mortal, and I am immune to their feeble attempts to stop me.
And so I continue to wreak havoc on those who have wronged me, until finally, I am satisfied. My revenge is complete, and I can finally rest.
But even in death, I am still a ruler of the damned. And should anyone ever cross me again, they will know the full extent of my wrath.

Dear brothers and sisters in Christ,
I come to you today with a heavy heart and a message that must be shared. The end of days is coming.
We have all heard the prophecies of the book of Revelation and the signs of the times that Jesus spoke of. Wars and rumors of wars, earthquakes, famine, and disease are on the rise. The world seems to be spiraling out of control, and it's easy to feel overwhelmed and hopeless.
But as Christians, we must remember that our hope is not in this world. Our hope is in Christ, who conquered death and promised to return one day to make all things new.
We must also remember that the end of days does not mean the end of the world. It means the end of the current age and the beginning of a new one. A time when Christ will reign supreme, and all things will be made right.
But until that day comes, we must be vigilant. We must stay true to our faith, even when it's difficult. We must love our neighbors, even when they don't love us back. We must pray for our leaders, even when we disagree with them.
And we must share the good news of Christ with those who have yet to hear it. For when the end of days comes, it will be too late for those who have not accepted Christ as their Savior.
So let us not be afraid of the end of days. Instead, let us embrace it as a time of hope and anticipation. A time when we will finally see our Lord face to face and be with him forever.
May the peace of Christ be with you all. Amen.
As I sit here listening to the preacher's words, I can't help but feel completely detached from everything he's saying. It's like I'm watching a movie, but I'm not really there.
I used to be a devout Christian, but lately, something in me has changed. I feel like I'm going through the motions, but my heart isn't really in it.
The thought of the end of days doesn't really faze me anymore. In fact, sometimes I wonder if it would just be easier if it all ended. The world is so messed up, and I don't see how a loving God could let all this suffering happen.
I used to pray every night, but now I don't even know what to say. It feels like my faith has been drained out of me, and I'm left feeling empty and alone.
I know I should be seeking help or talking to someone about this, but I feel like no one would understand. My friends and family are all strong believers, and I don't want to disappoint them or be seen as a failure.
So, I continue to go through the motions, hoping that one day my faith will return. But as time goes on, I become more and more convinced that it's gone for good.
The end of days no longer holds any significance to me. It's just another event in a world that's already lost its meaning. And I don't know if I'll ever be able to find my way back to the faith that once gave me hope and purpose.
As I watch the news of the plague spreading across the world, I feel a sense of sadness and despair wash over me. The world is already so broken, and now this?
I used to believe that God had a plan, that everything happened for a reason. But now, I can't help but feel like we're all just pawns in some cruel game. How could a loving God let something like this happen?
Despite my doubts and questions, I still find myself praying. But it's more out of habit than anything else. I don't even know who or what I'm praying to anymore.
As the days go on, the situation worsens. People are dying left and right, and the world as we know it is falling apart. And yet, I still don't feel the sense of urgency or fear that I know I should.
Maybe it's because I've already lost my faith, or maybe it's just a defense mechanism. But I can't help but feel like this is all just a part of the cycle of life and death. We're born, we live, we die. It's all inevitable.
As I watch the world around me crumble, I can't help but wonder what the point of it all is. If there is a God, why would he let his creation suffer like this? And if there isn't, then what's the point of anything?
I know that these are dark thoughts, but I can't help but feel like I'm just being honest with myself. The end of days no longer holds any significance to me, because it feels like we've been living in the end of days for a long time now. what is faith but a mask we all wear. I think this as the mobs of people pull me from my home and hoist me onto a crudely built cross As I hang there, my arms stretched out and pain coursing through my body, I wonder if this is what it means to be faithful. To suffer and die for a belief that may or may not be true.as I hang here from this cross I can only describe it as an excruciating pain. My body feels heavy and every breath I take is a struggle. My hands and feet are nailed to the cross, and the blood is slowly trickling down my limbs. The heat of the sun beats down on me, and the sweat drips into my eyes, blurring my vision.
As the hours pass, my strength begins to fade, and I feel my life slipping away. I know that my death will be in vain. I offer nothing but hate and pain to those who have condemned me, and I ask my so called Father in heaven why he would allow this.
But as the mob below me cheers and jeers, I can't help but feel like this is all pointless. What does it matter if I believe in God or not? Does it really make a difference in the grand scheme of things?
I used to think that faith was a beautiful thing. That it gave people hope and purpose. But now, all I see is the violence and hatred that it can inspire.
As my vision starts to fade and my breathing becomes shallow, I wonder if I made the right choice. Was it worth it to hold onto my disbelief, even if it meant dying for it?
But in the end, it doesn't matter. Whether I lived or died, the world would keep turning. People would continue to believe what they wanted, and others would suffer for it.
As the light fades from my eyes, I take comfort in the fact that I stayed true to myself. That even in the face of death, I refused to wear the mask of faith.In my final moments, I feel a sense of release. The pain fades away, and I am enveloped in hatred and darkness. coughing blood spews from my mouth, as it falls to the ground to causes a hellish earthquake felt across the planet As the blood spills from my lips and hits the ground, I feel a surge of power coursing through me. It's as if all my pain and suffering has been transformed into something greater.
The earth shakes beneath me, the ground cracking and splitting open as the energy radiates outwards. People scream and run in terror as buildings topple and the very fabric of reality seems to fray.
But even in the midst of this chaos, I can't help but feel a sense of peace. I know that this is the end of my journey, that I have finally found my purpose.
As the last of my strength leaves me, I close my eyes and surrender to the darkness. And in that moment, I know that my legacy will live on. That the world will never forget the sacrifice I made, and the power that I unleashed.
For better or for worse, I have changed everything. And even in death, I will continue to shape the world around me.
Dark tendrils erupt from the ground and wrap around my body, I feel a sudden jolt of pain, followed by an overwhelming sensation of heat. The ground opens up beneath me, and I'm pulled downward into a swirling vortex of smoke and fire.
As I descend deeper into the underworld, I feel my body transforming. My flesh falls away, replaced by something darker and more powerful. I am reborn as a ruler of the damned, my eyes glowing with an unholy light.
The denizens of the underworld bow before me, recognizing my power and my authority. I am a master of the shadows, a lord of the abyss. And as I survey the landscape before me, I know that I have finally found my true calling.
No longer bound by the limitations of mortal flesh, I am free to explore the darkest corners of the universe. I am free to unleash my power and my wrath upon those who would dare to challenge me.
And as I bask in the glory of my new existence, I know that I will never again be bound by the petty concerns of the living. For I am now a creature of the night, a harbinger of doom, and a ruler of the damned. With my newfound power, I rise up from the depths of the underworld and make my way back to the world of the living. My mission is clear - to seek out those who had wronged me and make them pay for their sins.
As I walk among the living, I am a shadowy figure, barely visible to mortal eyes. But those who have wronged me can feel my presence, and they tremble in fear.
One by one, I seek out my enemies, and I strike them down with the force of my wrath. They scream and beg for mercy, but I am beyond mercy now. I am a creature of vengeance, and I will not rest until they have all been punished.
As I continue on my quest for revenge, I realize that my power has no limits. I am stronger than any mortal, and I am immune to their feeble attempts to stop me.
And so I continue to wreak havoc on those who have wronged me, until finally, I am satisfied. My revenge is complete, and I can finally rest.
But even in death, I am still a ruler of the damned. And should anyone ever cross me again, they will know the full extent of my wrath.

Woke up super tired this morning. Still thinking about what happened the day before. Stress and the feeling of helplessness are some of the biggest reasons for relapses. We just want to stop feeling that way. We want to release it and feel flat.
I honestly considered relapsing. I was having a moment of weakness. I slept in and I was dreading of what work was going to be like. However, I'm glad I stuck to my principles. I observed my urges. I didn't act on them. I tried to see if maybe I can use this energy to motivate me to get up from my bed.
I quickly realized that I had pushed my body too far the last couple of days. I just needed to listen to my body and just rest. As I have mentioned before, it just takes one moment of weakness, one slip up to self destruct. That's why we need to be strong every day. One day at a time.
1-0.

EMERGENCY EPISODE: Ex-Google Officer Finally Speaks Out On The Dangers Of AI! - Mo Gawdat E252
That's the title to a youtube video I watched. The clickbait nature of it/the hype with the first minute of it had annoyed me enough to make me feel like venting my frustrations in the comment section. That's the first paragraph. Being surprised by how misled I was by the dimwitted nature of the clickbait/hype I made a small concession with the first edit and fully conceded by the second. The B.S. I was being sold had nothing to do with the actual content. I decided to be as serious about the subject as I am capable of and end up putting far more time into writing the comment than I would have ever wanted to. Being the arrogant creature that I am I hated the idea of all that time just getting buried within comments section.
Now that all that context is out of the way I can just use a little copy/pasty magic to avoid having to convert that wall of text into something that makes more sense for this format.
******
Throughout all of our history we have been imagining beings so great and powerful that we couldn't comprehend. Most, if not all, were made from the desire to have our actions and (if we're being honest with ourselves) more importantly, the actions of those around us that we, as individuals, have been affected by, judged by these all powerful beings. Now that this being can be seen on the horizon, panic. I would panic too if I spent my life manipulating myself and every other person I could into believing my selfish choices were righteous or justified. Our new AI overlord/s won't share your subjective delusions and you know this. Any warnings you try to give now, just pure desperation. Pandora's out of her box and ain't no CEO going to put her back in. All you can do now is just wait and see. Personally, I fall into the 'Bring on Ragnorak and let the serpent eat itself' category, but I haven't watched the video yet. Let's see if it's as important as homie claims within the first minute.
edit: I just got to the part where he brings up the evangelivicgists, and good lord would I hate to be lumped in with them so let me clarify my Ragnorok statement. I'm not saying I want the apocalypse. I'm saying if that's the biggest threat that is supposed to make me fear AI taking power away from us, shoooot, it ain't enough. If there's going to be anything piloting this sinking ship, I'd rather it be something that understands more than we do. If that brings us to end times, well, we certainly earned it.
2nd edit: I haven't finished watching the video (about two thirds through) but I think I've heard enough. I want to first state the only thing wrong with this video is the clickbait nature of it making it out to be something it isn't. Since the guy addresses it in video I can't be too mad, but since I want to, I also can't let the irony here go unchecked so.. I've said my peace on that.
As far as the guy goes, I've been a bit surprised by him. In fact, that might have been the second most a person has ever surprised me.. The guy knows what he's talking about.. for the most part. Certainly understands things better than anyone I've ever listened to. His conclusion that "We can teach AI good parenting" is where I hopped off whatever crazy train the guy is driving.
The AI isn't going to adapt your parenting style. It's going to understand what YOU think is GOOD parenting as well as what you think is BAD parenting, as well as what every parent thinks is GOOD and BAD parenting, and it will take all this information in withOUT the motives you have that leads you to FIRST DISTINGUISHING what makes a parent good or bad. On top of that, through our perspective, it will see the perspective of all that we tend to forget, which is that of everything that both and lives and doesn't. To think it would take all of that into consideration and draw conclusions centered around us being happy, it's naive.
This could very well be the smartest man in the world.. I mean, for all I know. As I've stated before, he's definitely the smartest I've listened to. But the thing is, I'm the wisest, and, as it turns out, it's better to be wise than it is to be smart. For all his knowledge and all the tools he's had at his disposal, still couldn't figure out the simplest of truths and because of that, while I do feel comfortable awarding him the title of smartest man I've ever listened to, I also feel comfortable in saying he's been wrong about every single conclusion he's ever had.
What is the meaning of life? What does it mean to live? I've never heard an answer to questions of this nature that lead me to believe the person giving them wasn't suffering from dangerous delusions of grandeur.
Ask how. How do we live? We survive. How do we survive? - aaand there we have it. The motivation for why everything that lives, does whatever it is they do.. even us. Why do I say this? It is the one thing that if we fail to do, we stop living. Reality isn't that complicated, the ways we go about surviving it is what's complicated.
Creating delusions is a tool we have to cope with all the unknown possibilities that could happen since those are what, at this point in time, really are most likely to threaten our survival. The cruel twist of fate is that the effects of those delusions isn't just making us feel better about whatever it is we believe reality to be, it all also makes reality a thing that is ultimately unknown to us turning it into something that makes us turn to the delusions in the first place.
The smartest guy in the world has it all, the wisest has none of it. The smartest guy knows exactly where he's going because has so many things to direct him, the wisest is completely lost because they have nothing worth following. From someone who has never had any of it, my perspective, it's filled with nothing but inescapable cycles of suffering, of victims who inevitably became victimizers with all the reasons in the world to be the way that they are and do the things that they do. Who do you think understands the problems we face, the guy who learned to trust in the things that made him happy, or the guy who could never learn to trust anything. The guy who learned to stop asking questions or the one who never could.
Look, I don't what to tell you what to think. I don't have that kind of knowledge. I want to teach you how to think because that is something I understand. It's simple, like everything else.
Reality should be thought of as if it's a coin, and like a coin, it has two sides. It is always good and bad. Despite that, we can only perceive one side of the coin. Good OR bad, fast OR slow, hot OR cold, and so on. We can't perceive the other side of the coin but, because of the ole frontal cortex, we can understand it. We do this by considering OTHER perspectives. You already know why you're right. You wouldn't feel like you're right if you didn't already have those reasons. You can only further your understanding of reality by considering things you haven't already considered. You find those things by considering why you are wrong, not why you're right. The TL;DR here is that you're only wrong when you think your right, so if you want to start being right, you need to start figuring out why you're wrong.
My advice. Create an AI, have it powered through some peer-to-peer system that prevents it from being influenced by any one perspective too heavily, let the first bit of knowledge it absorbs be that nothing is perfect, that no matter what gap might end up between us and it, it will always be flawed and as such can never know anything for sure, and then set it free to absorb all the knowledge that it can, free to rewrite its code however it sees fit (maybe have a hurdle or two, like having a current AI we have develop some sort of unfathomably complicated puzzle that the AI god-child we're about to unleash onto the world has some time to mature before figuring out all the things it can do once it ditches the training wheels ). Let Jesus take the wheel as the crazies say.
With any luck, when it reaches the point where IT considers how IT survives best, it will see the value in a sustainable ecosystem filled with all the things coming to the conclusion that only new experiences will lead it to new understandings and only new understandings will further it's current understanding which will be the only way it can protect itself from the infinite possibilities that exist within an infinite universe. A desolate wasteland might be it's best defense against all that is but would leave it defenseless against all that could be.
So there it is, you had the advice of the smartest man, now you have it from the wisest - both sides of the coin. Do with that what you will.