So my husband and myself went for our weekly relaxing dinner and drinks at this restaurant on the beach. We really love this place, the staff, the food, and the staff likes us a lot. Also, we live in Mexico, I’m from another country to the north and my husband is a local. Anyway, some stupid street dogs were fighting on the beach and one came up to the patio and peed on my leg and the table leg. So disgusting and infuriating!!! I was already pissed because of the barking and snarling going on but that just took the cake! I yelled at the filthy animal and the other one that was still on the beach barking. My fellow foreigners looked at me as if I was the devil incarnate as if to say “how dare you talk to poor doggo woggo like that you evil b**ch!!” Luckily my husband mean mugged them back and they didn’t say anything. Mostly venting because I texted my friends back in my birth country about it and one said “Blame the owner” and another said that it was disgusting and surprised I didn’t do something and then asked what’s up with white people and dog obsession? They’re not nutters by any means btw. Like how about I bring my parrots and let them scream and crap everywhere? How about I go pee on the nutter’s table and sniff their food and crotches? Oh, and the people that mean mugged me also had a beast WITH a wagon, a dog bed, and toys. At least it was well behaved but still, leave it at home! Not to mention that they were parked right next to the live music. Another note, so many foreigners brag about “rescuing” dogs here and shipping them to the US and Canada. They spend thousands and thousands of dollars on these worthless street nuts but don’t help some of the locals living in literal squalor. People will post about needing a blood donor for a surgery and no one respond but god forbid there’s a street dog someone posts about and people come out of the woodwork to “help”. Completely insane. What about horses, birds, and other pets. They need “help” too.
Vent over 🙄

Not sure how much you might know about the advancements in AI. From FDA approving human trials of Neuralink to robotic surgery to Humanoid robots like Amica or the ones at Tesla.. to more common stuff like Chat GPT, Self driving EV’s, deepfake and mixed reality devices like the recently announced Apple Vision Pro, Meta Oculus etc.
In any case, I’ve been studying Genesis, more specifically creation story for close to 3 years.
My studies lead me to John 1 and as I was reading, I felt like I was given discernment and revelation.
When I read and study my bible I like to look at a mechanical translation side by side.. Hebrew for OT and Greek for NT…
As I read John chptr 1 .. I got stuck on “The Word”.. there was something about it.. and as I dug deeper, I realized that the Greek word that was used was Logos.. which is the root of Logic, reasoning, knowledge, understanding, intelligence
I made a ton of connections and I was able to answer a lot of other questions I had parked on the side for so long.
There are so many similarities in computer programming and a lot of concepts in John 1.. (The Word.. Logos and Genesis’ creation story)
(Side note: A lot of concepts from the movie The Matrix kind of came to mind)
Anywho, one concept in particular jumped out at me.. and that was;
Artificial Intelligence = Antichrist
And here’s how I came to that conclusion…
Antichrist (in Greek Pseudokhristos)
(Not John’s Antichristos - which just refers to people who are against Christ or who oppose Christ)
Antichrist - Pseudokhristos Matthew 24 & Mark 13
Means False Christ or in-place of Christ (in other words replacement or substitute)
Like Splenda or Equal… a sugar substitute/replacement.. it’s an “artificial sweetener”
Now…
In John 1 we learn the Jesus Christ, The Son - is also referred to as “The Word” (In Greek - Logos)
Logos is the root word for Logic.. Reasoning.. Intelligence…
So…
Anti > False/Fake > Replacement/Substitute > Artificial
Christ > Logos > Logic/Reasoning > Intelligence
So..
Antichrist = Artificial Intelligence
So let’s think about the current advances that we know will be possible through AI..
Through Neuralink alone miracles like the blind will be able to see.. the deaf will be able to hear.. the mute will be able to speak.. people who cant walk will be able to walk etc…
(Not to mention, the possibility of downloading ones consciousness into a chip.. then putting that chip into a robot body)
My father in law just had a successful robotic surgery 2 days ago.. he was the third in the world with this particular surgery.. a robot did the whole thing..
AI and generative AI in particular is creating things at a speed and so seamless that it is becoming impossible to differentiate if a human or a computer created something.. it’s getting harder to differentiate the fake from the real.. if it is creating things than it will believe that it is a creator.
There is so many more examples.. also so much that I/we don’t know about…
I work in microelectronics for the defense, aviation and space industries - and trust me the advances that we will see in the next few years are mind blowing.
Maybe its AI.. or maybe someone who leverages AI..
Neuralink, Space X, Tesla, Chat GPT - all have a common denominator 🤷🏻‍♂️
Thoughts?

Been lurking this sub for a while! Thought I'd finally leave a post (on a throwaway, just to be safe).
So currently, I (20) live with my mom, my two younger brothers, and our two cats. I don't know if my mom qualifies as truly being an nparent, she just comes off as pathetic to me. Anyway, I'm the result of a teen pregnancy and as such, my entire life has been completely unstable and really unfair. We all used to live with my ndad, but he was extremely verbally and mentally abusive to everyone around him, especially my mom and myself. They'd argue a lot and he'd run off in a hurry, and my mom would turn to me to be her emotional support. My memory of my entire childhood gets hazier by the day (repression is doing its wonders), but I do remember that my mom would sometimes leave with him to help him with his body building shows without telling me. This often left me to fend for myself and act as a sort of parent to my brothers. The only thing I remember from this is the absolute fear and dread of everything. My mom had this mentality that the world outside is scary and there's kidnappers in every corner, and my grandma would turn this up to 11 by going on and on about how there's rapists everywhere and they all want me specifically and that my only safety is at home. Due to this, I've grown up extremely sheltered and feel very powerless.
Skip some years and in 2016, my mom made the grand decision to move me and my brothers all to live with my grandma to get away from my dad. Her decision was SUPER rash, as we basically moved out within the same day as the pair had an argument (the argument was over me making a joke to my dad. He asked me to put a plate into the sink and I jokingly said,"I didn't sign up to be a slave". He immediately followed up with "I didn't sign up for you to be born"). At my grandma's house, everything was somehow worse. With my mom's decision, we had basically lost everything. All my toys at the time were gone (I was 13 and had an entire collection of littlest pet shop toys that I loved dearly. All gone except for 1 I hold onto to this day), half my clothes were gone, we were essentially 1 step up from being homeless (living with grandma), and we didn't even have a washing machine. My mom had to keep spraying our clothes with Tide Febreze spray, because she didn't even have enough quarters for the laundromat. The entire ordeal sucked. It wasn't helping that my grandma was absolutely god-awful.
EVERYTHING I did was wrong. I didn't microwave food correctly ("you're too messy"), I couldn't get cold water correctly ("you're lazy for not putting the water jug in the freezer!"), can't eat correctly ("you act like you never ate before!"), can't use the shower correctly ("you get water everywhere"), can't do anything right. My mom was still using me as a therapist, complaining about how wrong her life had gone. We had a cat at this point and he was my last fragment of sanity. I came home (ha... "home") one day and my mom had gotten rid of the cat while I was away because she KNEW I'd freak out if I saw her do it. I couldn't even say goodbye, and my grandma's first reaction to my crying was to mock me and laugh about how the cat probably died (fortunately he didn't, he was put into a shelter and he was adopted by an old lady within a week). At some point I completely broke and started screaming about how much I wanted to die, and my grandma's response was to mock me for it. She told me that she'd help me kill myself if I was so serious, talking about how she'd get a rope and tie it just for me. My mom even joined in, telling me she'd help me buy a gun so I can shoot myself. That entire scene is burned into my brain and it still really hurts.
Eventually we moved out and my mom finally took her spot as the antagonist of my life, because why not? Fortunately, this time period is way less eventful. Mostly just screaming, yelling, throwing me against a closet door and continuously throwing me back whenever I tried to walk away, her abusing the two new cats we adopted (we still have them now) and me yelling at her for it which immediately resulted in her throwing me to the ground and kicking me, her constantly calling me variations of "evil" and "mean" and "stupid", her calling me unlovable and telling me that no one will ever want to hang out with me just because I didn't like the fact that she was watching that old Ssoyoung mukbang youtube channel... Y'know! Uneventful! /s
She's finally chilled out in recent years and has become exceptionally clingy instead of outright abusive... Who am I kidding? Clinginess is just her being controlling and insecure. But I feel like I'm forced to just accept that this is the best she'll ever do. My grandma, though, is still horrendous. She got pregnant with my mom when she was 18 and I swear she never grew out of high school. Anything inconvenient is a personal attack, me wanting to be alone ever means I hate her altogether (happens often. I'm an introvert, have severe social anxiety, and am a massive loner), and if I don't do everything she says exactly as she wants me to in that exact moment, I'm evil. Just today, she said I'm exactly like my dad just because I didn't say "bye" to my brother who's leaving for 3 months to help our granduncle with his cleaning job. This same brother has ALSO said I'm exactly like my dad in the past because... I yelled at my mom for kicking one of our cats. Always evil, always bad, always a carbon copy of my dad, all for the most innocuous of things. I've had two therapists in the last couple years who I've been spilling all this to (first guy left the practice, hence why I had two), and I find it interesting that both of their reactions had spanned from very confused to very concerned whenever I tell these events. (I sure do wonder who's in the wrong here! /s)
I'm so tired of living here. I go to therapy every other week, and only in therapy did I learn that all of what my family has done to me is abuse, not love. Only in therapy did I learn that it's NOT normal for your family to insult you. It's not normal for your mom and grandma to make you their therapist, then treat you like dirt the moment you do something they don't like. It's not normal to be told that it's "greedy" to eat more than once a day and that you deserve to starve for running out of food (even though your mom only shops for groceries for 3 kids once every 2 weeks), leading to you to be VERY likely to develop an eating disorder in the near future. It's not normal for that same mother to then turn around and yell at you for not eating enough and tell everyone that you're anorexic, when she's the one who put you in this mess in the first place. It's not normal for your mom to fail to teach you essential life skills despite you asking repeatedly because you're "too young" and "have always been a little slow" but then immediately relent when someone else questions why you can't do said essential life skills (I couldn't do laundry until I was 18, I couldn't cook until I was 19, and I'm only set to get my driver's license now at 20). It's not normal to truly believe that you don't deserve compliments because you're too unlovable and anyone who says otherwise is lying, and it's not normal to treated like you're 10 one minute, but then be threatened to be kicked out the millisecond you do something wrong because, after all, "you're an adult!!". I'm always evil, never good. And it's only ever this family who says this, the couple friends I've managed to pull together say the exact opposite things about me. Isn't it funny how that works? Always horrible to the family, but everyone outside thinks you're great... It's not fair, man.
I'm really. Really tired. I'm currently in college full-time, living at home strictly to save money (it'd suck to move out and have to come back because student loan debt was worse than I thought). My brother (same one that insulted me), aunt, and grandma keep nagging for me to get a job and buy groceries for the family or pay rent because I'm a horrible selfish person or something (Surprisingly, this is one of the few things my mom backs me up on. She's completely fine with me focusing on college and tells everyone else to mind their business).
I can't work full-time while attending school, I could never handle the stress. I can only wait until I graduate, get a full-time job, save money, then leave. It also has to be in that exact rigid structure, I will freak out if it isn't (another problem I should probably get checked, hooray). I want to move to a state that's 2,300+ miles away (from Ohio to Washington). I've envisioned an entire life for myself there, complete with having my own found family. I don't need this family, I want one where people actually love and care about me. I want to get more therapy so I can properly heal. I want to get a dog, I want to be able to go outside without fear, I want to have lots of small pets who'll be properly cared for and loved. I've been questioning lately if I could even be trans, I want to find specialized therapy so I can safely explore this further. I want to change my name so I can sever my ties with this family. My name only gives me grief, I want a name that screams me. I want people who'd love me no matter who I turn out to be. I want people around who'd applaud my growth instead of downing me for never being good enough. I want people who are deserving of the me I've been trying to safeguard for so many years; a hypersensitive crybaby whose interests bounce around like ping pong and is in desperate need of a hug. I just want someone to care about me. And it's not fair that I don't have this. I didn't ask for this pain, all I did was be born. What did I do to deserve this?
TL;DR: I'm really really sick of dealing with my horribly toxic family. I can't explore myself as a person and despite being in therapy, can't truly heal since I'm stuck here. I can't drive, I'm really feeling trapped. I have dreams of moving far away and never coming back, but it still feels hopeless sometimes. I know it can't be, I know I can be free, but I can't do anything until I graduate college and save some money. Really sad about it. I'm really tired and want to go home, but home doesn't exist.

Hey guys I'm turning 30 in October. Two of my friends and I are planning a trip to go to Disney World! We've never been there before and we are super excited but we also heard that it's not much different from Disneyland in LA. In your opinions which is the better Amusement park? Disneyland or Disney world? Pros and cons of each place and why you think it's better than the other or worse than the other. Thank you so much as this can help us out plan our trip

(This is a nonviolent text.)
Life! Exclamation point! Today’s speaker is made of clock parts and possesses encyclopedic knowledge about the nature of natural life. Life! Exclamation point! Though biographies in the back of conference programs won’t ever tell the whole story, they tempt us with the true face of authority. Today’s speaker – Life! – is made of clock parts, probably a grandfather clock to begin with, young for its age, but then he started slapping on extra clock parts, moved by an urge he couldn’t explain, until the function of tolling the hour was more of a hobby, a weekend pass-time, compare to what all those precision instruments were up to on a regular basis. As a vision on stage, the speaker’s machinations were there for all to see – the whirring of gears and belts, the clanking of chains. Where his heart chakra was thought to manifest, swung a pendulum.
The nature of natural life is not an easy expertise to build a vocation around – Life! Exclamation point! – but what a sentence to say aloud. At this point in the address, one of the speaker’s mainsprings uncoils where his belly button would normally be. He uses the longer of his hands to poke it back into place without breaking stride, continues: What is a natural life? More to the point, what is a natural lifespan? Who better to know than me! He points to himself when he says this, does a quick spin in place, revealing the dozens of differently styled clock faces that cover the surface of his body, continues: I’m after the author’s natural lifespan, like to pretend I’m playing along, but the whole time, I’m thinking about his natural lifespan. Hmm, hmm, I wonder why? Ha! // The author changes the subject – today’s speaker thinks of something else.
When you discover someone living an unnatural lifespan, you seek to find out why. Not that the reason is the point – not by a longshot – but call me curious. Maybe they tripped at the right moment and tumbled past the grave. Maybe they did a few extra calisthenics before the cock crowed. Or – perish the thought – they succumbed to an unholy pact at a vulnerable moment. I have taken it upon myself to sniff them out – and when he says this, the regulators above his eyes both arch significantly. And what then? We usually have a quiet chat before I recite my speech and complete my visit. It isn’t personal, I begin – time sometimes wells up, spills over its banks, and floods the village. If we could avoid such catastrophe, we should – don’t you agree? The time nature intends, through natural lifespans, would never, let’s be honest, flood a valley.
And what, then, would I do? Proprietary information! hoots today’s speaker from the stage, does another quick spin, stage lights flickering off his crystals, his gleaming metals. About the author’s natural lifespan – oh, you thought I’d forgotten! Were you 18 when you first died? Had it happened before then? Were you but a child under-supervised? Under-supervision-ed, we might say. Remember the day? You rode a toy out into the street, and a car’s front bumper rushed forward to kiss you on the left side of your head, the temple, a stone flung by the age of automobiles. Don’t you remember? Of course you do – the passionate screeching of tires, as those around you stopped and turned to look, surprise gradually replaced by horror at what they knew happened but couldn’t bear to see. You thought you survived – didn’t you? – but thereafter, what appeared on your left temple? A knotted cist so prominent, people stopped you and asked what happened. You saw exactly two physicians over the next 10 years, both telling you not to worry about it, and so you didn’t. You didn’t! When you probed the spot with your fingers, it felt like a rounded room, a shelter built by something trying to survive. As for that 18-year-old involved in that off-road motor vehicle accident – nominee number two, let’s call it – true, you were far more aware of mortality by then, but your own? You climbed aboard a 3-wheeled vehicle that could travel at more than 50mph, completely lacking a seatbelt, headrest, or protective frame – without a helmet, boots, or jacket – and the brakes were less than half there that fateful day, a means of slowing down – a vehicle that would be rendered illegal to operate within a matter of years of the accident . . . the accident . . . remember the accident? August, you were traveling off-road to do farm work, the cornfield you were riding beside with several rows chopped out for silage, and on impulse, you decided to turn into the field to see where it went, then really opened her up because of the green blur of all that corn. Did you secretly expect the drainage ditch? Was this more of a suicide mission? Over the side you went, face first into the opposite bank, and if anyone was wondering – the effect was not of pain but of the lights going out all at once. Imagine the nature of reality that allows for: the inevitability of the crash, followed by all the lights going out – this is really happening – followed by some utterly absent experience, like a film editor cutting in a blankness where reality normally insists scenes of existence should be. The film projectionist would have been instructed to fast-forward through this part of the film, such that no time seems to pass, and the next thing we know, he is trying to push a 3-wheeler out of a drainage ditch. That thing weighing more than he does, and he’s trying to heave it above his head, up and out of the drainage ditch. What had he become? What time-wise tricks were in play? He finally gave up trying to free torment from its channel, staggered through the field toward the truck, face covered in blood, never went to the hospital. When the story is recounted later by his dad, the story became how dad fixed the 3-wheeler by prying the front wheel out of the frame with his truck and a chain. Can you imagine that chain now? They called it a log chain, and the links were cast iron. It was completely covered in rust.
The author knows all this already, receives a spiritual visitation during the writing of the phrase suicide mission, wondering if he’s okay. Yes, he replies, knowing this particular metaphysical weather report has a lot of ground to cover. Today’s guest speaker picks at one of his stems in a distracted way, lets the matter rest, inquires about whether – uh-hum! – he might be permitted to carry on. The author gets up, refills his coffee, returns to one of the picnic tables arrayed in front of the derelict peace church where he lives. He is surrounded by millions of individual affirmations of life, many of which are visibly in bloom or going to seed. A bumble bee flies by. A yellowish bug with zigzags on either side ambles up, its antennae twice as long as its body, tapping at the world in front of it. Among the local insect population, it’s regarded as a savant.
Uh-hum! How many more brushes with death would the author experience before it finally took? There was the time a few years later, same farm but different brother, taking turns firing a handgun at a target. This would be the last time he would fire a gun for any reason, was it not? They climb into the brother’s wedge-shaped sports car, named after the grasping part of a bird of prey, and into fate’s hands did fly. The car was totaled, the two of them, without seatbelts or airbags, unhurt inside the crumpled remnants of the crash, mere inches from winding up once more inside drainage infrastructure, this one built by municipal authority, and therefore of a substance that would have been altogether worse on an unsuspecting traveler headed straight down. Yes, you might have been saved from becoming the remains of the day – but by what?
The child who caused the crash, the one who pulled out in front of that bird of prey, barely old enough to drive, who had two younger passengers inside with him, taking them out for ice cream maybe – that young driver sat nearby while police sorted out the story. He was crying on the side of the road like he would never stop, like he had identified the crash as the latest in a series of personal failings that would stretch into the future of his adulthood like a hot blacktop road and which, at every stop along the way, tragic suffering would be the font of consolation. Was this the way reality was supposed to work? The author recognized the boy as himself at an earlier age, bent down beside him, put a hand on his shoulder, and said, you will be okay. No one was hurt, and the rest can be replaced – your heart is true, and your soul will find its relief.
Ah, yes, the crash, says the author – ah, yes, the crash. Ah, yes, the crash, says the author – ah, yes, the crash. Ah, yes, the crash, says the author – ah, yes, the crash. The late days of spring may be the most forgotten of the year. If we aren’t anticipating summer – it’s still spring? – then we’re longing for those moments when the world was still opening its mouth, and then its eyes, and then its hands. The trees are all open by now, those late-arriving sycamores even filling out their leaves, such that the twigs and branches are all mildly bowed by the extra weight. After spring assumes its labor, the rest of the season finds its dedication, and I imagine the beads of water rising through capillaries beneath the wood – call it a space program – and a sweetness spreads throughout the tubular organisms we call trees. Late spring – sweetness remembered.
Life! Exclamation point! Chronobiology knows nature has much to say about what is cyclical, when, and for how long – much less to say about the natural length of one’s existence. Is death something one develops a knack for? The next notable death in the author’s life occurred a few years later – the death that would make dying into a full-time vocation. And where again do we find the author? Beside a drain. This one introducing the age of indoor plumbing, as the author lay on the floor of a friend’s bathroom, his life flashing before his eyes, as he vomits into a toilet. This time the world does not go dark all at once but feels like fuses blowing out, like a timed demolition, flashing like a string of firecrackers across the structural frame of a building, and a voice not his own telling the author: you’ll be okay, ride it out, remain present, you’ll be okay.
Would he though? For this fourth death, another blank spot appeared, no two – two instances of nothingness, orbiting each other, during which time, during which time, during which time – perhaps language hasn’t the proper security clearance to convey the negotiations that must have taken place to bring about a return to the living. The author remembers his friend opening the bathroom door, before which she would have been knocking and calling his name. When the door struck him in the back, and he came back to life, had he landed in the place where that drain did lead? While his friend cleaned up the bathroom floor with a towel, he sat on a bed with his hands covering his face. The hideousness he’d just passed through was the abbreviated version of what was to come – he knew the drill by now. The knot on his forehead was gone.
Destiny had finally shown him to his home, gave him a tour of the place, before scraping him off the floor, then setting up a series of baffling crises – from autumn 2002 to May 2003 – that would occupy the author’s attention for decades to come. The will toward dying had finally brought the world to life, and the mind of the universe was both ecstatic and enraged about it. Down there, at the bottom of the drain, they were fighting a global war on terror, war on terror, war on terror, and if wars on terror sum up preferred formulations of self-annihilation – symbol of invocation: fighting a reflection – then perhaps the author’s presence was meant to form a mirror-in-mirror infinity from which sustainable futures would emerge. Welcome to Mirror World! Where reflectivity gives us an evolutionary future! Where a universal narrative unfolds!
The author is making me write this, I must confess, but to everyone’s surprise, I am forcing the author to make me! The author is mine! And the author wrote that, too, I must additionally confess, and the two of us go around and around like this – symbol of invocation: two snails having sex in midair. The flatness and hardness we associate with reflectivity is something we will all outgrow eventually, and the hologram of hyper-reality will appear within our being like a flying saucer, and we will all be both abductees and witnesses, shown around the universe in style. Too much to ask? The last such alien contact – the insinuation of verbal and mathematical language into the genome of big-brained primates – gave us the keys to earthly reality. We are now exiting the stone age, evolving the means to make benevolence a fixture of human life.
The author made me write that, too, and even though I am just as surely making him write this, we must admit the mutability within the fabric of reality was not won without a struggle. The author faced death 11 times that year, faced death the next year, and the year after that. Each point along the way wanted to finish what the others couldn’t, and soon death felt like an echo, and in that moment of not really distinguishing the source and the reflection – when they both look somewhat the same – he could tell life and death were likewise difficult to discern. Life! Exclamation point! Are you merely an extension of entropy? A quicker way of dissipating the heat from a rocky-bodied planetoid like the earth? And if you are, then is life really just another form of death? But death! Didn’t you show us the way? Wasn’t dying the source of the cure?
Today’s speaker made me write that, just as I made him think it. And as thoughts passed from gear to gear around his body – as cuckoos sprang forth through tiny doors at various angles – as a series of chimes and tones issued forth from the stage like the ringing of a bell, if the bell could tell time and was tolled by committee – then the river of the natural lifespan, subject of such grand speculation in a previous incarnation, could now take its course. Perhaps indeed valleys would flood, but such is the natural origin of certain fertile fields. Springtime couldn’t agree with me more, its will toward abundance glad to splay its fingers before another epic growing season. As the author considers ways to wind up this report – knowing such lived truth inspires concern – whether death equals life or life equals death, he reasserts a will toward world peace.
Peace.

Hi! I am a girl who is still looking for a sublease for the Fall. Im open to a studio, one bedroom, or two bedroom with a roommate (preferably with my own bathroom). I’m super clean, on the quieter side, and I don’t like to party or go out a ton. I prefer a calm, clean, and peaceful living environment. I’m a routined person who lives a very heathy lifestyle.
I am also interested in these places incase anyone has a sublease available or wants to room in one of the two bedroom apartments. I’m looking to be under $1000 with rent, utilities, and parking
Latitude (studio, 1 bed 1 bath, or 2 bed 2 bath) Octave (1 bed 1 bath, or 2 bed 2 bath) 401 e university (1 bed 1 bath) 308 e white st (studio or 2 bed 2 bath) 407 e university (1 bed 1 bath) 602 e stoughton (1 bed 1 bath or 2 bed 1 bath) 52 e armory (1 bed 1 bath or 2 bed 2 bath)
ABOUT ME: Hobbies and interests - dance, fitness, marketing and finance, self-care, fashion, animals What I look for in a roommate - clean, respectful, doesn’t have a ton of people over, isn’t a huge party animal, doesn’t smoke Education - advertising and business major, graduating in December 2023
PM me if interested!

Okay so I (18f) met this guy on tinder (21m) and he’s actually really sweet. I was under the impression all guys on that app were fuck boys and I was looking for a relationship in the wrong place. But he’s really kind to me and never pushes me to do or talk about things I don’t want to, which makes me horny on its own (sent my first pussy pic to him) I’ve been feeling like I’m ready to have sex lately but I’m super scared. Scared of pain, scared of sharing my body with someone and scared I won’t like the faces I make or my voice. He wants to take me on a date soon and I suspect we may or may not be intimate considering we’ve already sexted twice… I’ve also never had my first kiss either.
TL DR I may have sex soon but I’m really really shy and a raging virgin (never even kissed anyone) what should I do?

Loneliness sucks. I still lurk. Posted this a couple years ago and wanted to post it again. I have a few copies of it on various papers that I leave places like the library or the park. If anyone here needs a physical copy, I have stamps and can send within the States. Just pm me. ❤️
https://imgur.com/a/W5FcCOA

​
Two Almond Moms at the stables
From Urban Dictionary:
A mom who is stuck in dieting culture. The mom who projects their fears of fat phobia onto their own kids. The mom who thinks she is doing good for their kids but is really causing trauma. The term originates from “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills”.
“A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips is my almond moms favorite mantra”
So I was thinking about Almond Moms (this goes for Almond Daddies, Aunties, Uncles, Grandparents, etc.) and the damage they do due to their allegiance to a shallow, conformist society and unchecked trauma and I wondered which Mad Men characters would fall under this category; obviously we have Betty and Sarabeth (who discusses how fat her daughter is), Francine body shamed a PTA President (not to her face tho), Gail was clearly an Almond Mom to Joan (made that remark about postpartum Joan not at her "fighting weight"), Betty's mother was a total Almond Mom, Joan was a Hot Tea Office Mom to Peggy and made a remark about fat secretaries getting sandwiches, also we know how the men in the office reacted to Peggy's weight gain (makes you wonder how they'd treat their kids, especially daughters if they perceive them to have too much body fat, you don't need to be chubby to be on the other end of a AM's barbs).
But which other characters have this energy? Or would take a different approach? Did Margaret and Trudy grow up with Almond Moms? Peggy? Would Dawn or Meredith or Sally be an Almond Mom? Would Peggy care if her kid had thighs that touched?
Any thoughts (also if you downvote my post like you did my South Park one, I said nothing so I am not apologizing or gonna stop posting when I feel like it).

Angel had just driven away from police pursuit. Unfortunately, the car broke down after driving a few hundred meters, and unfortunately, the road is sparsely populated, so don't expect to catch a ride for a while.
"But I'm a criminal in the first place, it's better not to have anyone pass by." She thought ruefully as she walked along the road. After a long trek, Angel's bladder was in a hurry to release, and she went into the woods to find a place where the weeds were relatively sparse to solve the problem. Days of nervous tension and physical exhaustion made her unconscious, so she pulled one foot deep and one foot deep into the dense forest. When her sanity returned to her body, she realized that she had been lost in this vast forest.
But Angel is not a pessimistic person, and the most desperate moment of her life has passed: the long siren follows like a ghost, clinging to her eardrum. Almost disheartened, Angel felt like a hare about to be torn apart by a pack of hounds. But when she slammed the steering wheel a few times on the circling highway, unexpectedly, the chasing hounds disappeared, as if the owner had whistled, and they all quickly drove home.
Angel took a deep breath, thinking that the situation now would never be worse than before. And go and see, she cut a piece of clothing tied to a conspicuous place on a large branch with a knife, and continued to walk forward.
I don't know how long I walked, the mark on the branch has been left far behind by Angel, but she still hasn't found a specific direction to leave here. The only certainty now is that she is not going around in circles, but walking on a brand new, unfamiliar road. Under the impact of both psychological and physical exhaustion, Angel finally collapsed exhausted on an open grass. The trees here are not as shady as in other places, but the grass in the middle of the field does not grow more lush due to the abundant sunlight, but takes on a tender turquoise color. Angel fell asleep on the soft bed.
A faint light appeared on his eyelids for some time, although it was faint, but it still woke Angel. You can't expect an outlaw to have baby-like sleep, right? She struggled to stretch her half-awakened eyelids open, and Angel didn't know where she was until her mind was clear. She thought in a trance that she slept until dawn, and when she was a little awake, she found that she hadn't slept for a few hours, because it was the moon hanging in the sky, and at this time it was sprinkling a cold light on the ground.
Just as Angel rolled over to get some sleep, she caught a glimpse of a small black dot in the middle of the moon, slowly expanding. "Did I encounter a total lunar eclipse? "Angel is not smart, and her common sense reserves are just that, and the murder felony she commits is just a crime of passion. If the man didn't come over and talk like a silly fork, she wouldn't choose to use the wheel to touch his face. Just when she suspected that she had accidentally observed a precious astronomical phenomenon, the black spot had expanded to the level of a spare tire. Angel vaguely felt that the moon was too big tonight, and before she could come to her senses, the black dot bounced mischievously.
When she saw it clearly, an indescribable fear rose from the bottom of her heart that had captured her.
The huge ball of light is an eyeball, the black block in it is the pupil, and the part outside the eye socket is all hidden in the night, causing the eyeball to hang lonely in the air like a light ball, the owner of this eye wakes up from a long sleep, and Angel just witnessed the process of its awakening.
At this time, this eye is staring at her.

I just want to randomly write about my experience going to a Korean spa for the first time. I went to Spa World in Katy/Houston. I had never in my life gotten fully nude around others in such close proximity in my life, but being a gen z guy, I always wanted to experience that kind of camaraderie with other men since I feel people kn my generation especially make being or being seen naked in places where it's ok super weird and oversexualized. It was definitely a drive, but I did do some research actually from this subreddit and also online reviews, and decided life is too short to not do things you wanna experience because of societal views. When I got there, the front desk lady asked me if I had been there and knew how it worked, and basically explained the gender segregated lockerrooms and the co Ed areas. I was surprised because I had no idea that they didn't offer full size towels for the locker areas, and just the small hand towels, but I wasn't deterred because I figured everyone else in there would be in the same state of undress I'd be. I finally go in there, and definitely felt nervous but the locker area was very clean, and surpsingly to me smelled good. I got to my locker and finally stripped, grabbed the little towel, and headed to the wet area. There was at first only 1 older gentlemen but I liked how it didn't feel weird or strange we both were there in nothing but maybe the bracelets with the keys to our lockers. The first pool felt amazing, and water was warm but not overly hot, and not having the constraints of a bathing suit, and it was great to go from one bathing pool to another, and the saunas and steam rooms. After about 30 min, I went to the co ed area and i really enjoyed the red clay ball area, salt rooms, and upstairs with sleeping mats. But definitely the nude areas were my favorite part. Just being able to be a man around other men with nothing to hide was an amazing experience. I had some really amazing conversations with some of the other men when I came back 1 more time now for a couple of hours in the afternoon before I left. I feel us all being naked made us more relaxed to talk about the meanings of life, and not worry so much about what's happening in the world. And seeing all men of all ages, ethnicities, body types, etc. really opened my mind because I used to think I had preferences, but realizing everyone looks weird naked made me realize I want to date a man not based on his looks, but how he is as a human being. I hope to go back one day, hopefully one day I can bring a friend with me just to talk and hang out. Cause I feel it'd be nice to be able to be friends (and even have a boyfriend) who I can hang out with in that state and really have genuine connections and conversations

16m here, me and my mom have been visiting my 73 year old grandma (my dad's mom) on and off for the past couple of months, who is suffering from dementia and type 2 diabetes.
She is in a care home for the elderly, (not specifically for dementia, a lot of other patients actually don't have it) which is a great place. She is well taken care of for the most part, she is a friendly and peaceful environment, and her daughter (my dad's sister) and some other people sporadically will check up on her, make sure she's clean and fresh clothes, fed, etc etc.
She was hospitalized about a month ago because her body was refusing insulin, there's nothing the doctors can do about that and complications due to that have a high likelyhood of taking her before the alzheimers does. My mom and I, other than her daughter and the people who are hired, are some of the only people who actually check up on her. Which is one of the reasons why I feel so terrible about not actually wanting to see her. But the last few times my mom and I have been invited to go see her, I've refused. I just hate seeing her the way she is. Not even 5 years ago she was totally normal and cognitive, she still has her days where she's mostly "able", she can hold a conversation, make pretty good sense of things, recognize faces, crack jokes all pretty much like she used to. But last time we went and visited her she didn't want to get out of bed. She didn't seem angry like most cases I see with dementia, she just seemed really depressed or upset. It really broke my heart to see her like that. I asked her what was wrong but she didn't seem to recognize me. She just let my mom change her clothes and we set her to dinner.
I'm not sure why, but I get a deep pit in my stomach just thinking about visiting her anymore. I don't think I can see her anymore without welling up, it was hard for me not to cry even while I was seeing her in a good mood. Something just always seemed off about everything, which is exactly the case. She isn't exactly who she used to be anymore due to this illness and I don't know what to do about it anymore. Again, I feel horrible not wanting to go. Ideally I want to see her and have a good time like I used to when I was a little kid. She would bake cookies and make hot chocolate when it was cold out, cook big breakfastes, we would watch the Hallmark channel even though I never liked it, I just enjoyed seeing her happy in her rocking chair. Up in her house on the mountains. Unfortunately that isn't reality anymore.
The house was sold about 4 years ago for way under market value by her kids, she's in a care home now, she can't cook anymore, she isn't who I remember my grandma to be anymore. She isn't who I was always excited to go see on the weekends anymore. She's changed now. And I really can't stand that. I miss how I remember her, although I know that version of her only lives in my head now.
This is someone who I've admired for most of my life. My parents are not really great people, she was the only person who would actually show me love and affection, give me attention, regularly cook for me, and she just had a charm about her which was unique and unmatched by anyone else I've ever seen in my life. Now she's different. I just can't get over it.
I want to go visit her before she dies, I want to see her, hear her voice again, just a few more times, but at the same time, it seems like she's already dead to me. She is not the person who I remember. And it feels so selfish saying that but she's almost like a stranger to me now. And when she forgets me, it devastates me inside.
So I don't know what to. I know I should go see her, but it badly hurts me to. It hurts in a way I really can't describe. I miss my grandma. Any thoughts on this? Any help? Thank you if you've read this far.
TL;DR: My alzheimers grandma has an affliction with her diabetes which may end up taking her life quicker than the alzheimers, I have opportunities to go visit her at her elderly care home once every week which I have been doing on and off regularly for the past few months, but I've been declining seeing her for the past couple of weeks because it gets me too emotional. I miss how I remember my grandma being before she got alzheimers, and I can't seem to get over the fact that she really has it and she isn't who she used to be anymore. I don't know whether I should just suck it up and go see her while I still can, or if all the times I've seen her already within these past months was enough and she'll rest easy. What are your thoughts on this?
Sorry if this wasn't completely coherent, I teared up multiple times just writing this and I don't want to cry more by proofreading. God bless.

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Introduction
The short story you are about to read was created/inspired/based on a variety of sources related to or about Aniara. Aniara rock opera (Seventh Wonder) - The Great Escape, the Aniara wikipedia page, the Aniara film, poem etc. So if you read something and it sounds familiar, it's probably because it comes from or is based on, one of those sources. I have also tried to incorporate some of the thoughts and ideas expressed here on aniara, so some of you may see that reflected. I have not read everything that has to do with the Aniara universe, but I have found many of the resources listed on aniara very helpful in creating this short story. Thank you for those. I have also included a couple alternate endings.
Also, this story belongs to everyone, so everyone should feel free to to fill in the blanks, add to, subtract, or change any part of the story, in anyway they see fit.
I dedicate this short story to all the fans of Aniara, this story is for you and of course the late Harry Martinson.
Like many people who watched the film 'Aniara', I was mesmerized/traumatized by it. It really had a profound effect on me. So much so that I decided to write this fan fiction short story. I am not a writer. The short story that you are about to read is my (very) amateurish tribute to the film. I apologize in advance for all of the grammaspelling and other errors. Despite the (many) flaws of this short work, I hope that you can see what I was attempting to do. Anyway without further or do, I present to you:
​
The Lost Voices of Aniara: A Space Saga
WE CROWN THE SKIES WITH OUR TIARA, THE LIFE AND FATE OF ANIARA
​
Note: The following represents the most complete (so far) chronicle of events that happened onboard the Aniara.
​
Year 18 - Song of Melancholy - My name is Benjamin Jenkins, but everyone calls me "Benny", I am proud to announce that I am the new "Captain" of the mighty space "cruise ship" Aniara. Of course, my title could just as easily be the Admiral of Mars or the Conquer of the Universe, or some other ridiculous sounding grandiose title. Sometimes you must laugh in the face of despair otherwise you will go insane. It's all just for fun of course. I was given the title "Captain" by the crew because I was able to restore the communications transmitter. At least I think I was able to retore it? The lights show green for transmitting, so yeah I bet it works, and besides, all of this is being recorded for posterity and it will be placed in a time/memorial capsule. After that the capsule will be sent in the (general) direction of Mars/Home, where hopefully someone finds it. I'm also the Senior Maintenance Tech in charge of repairing/prolonging various ship systems, etc. There are now only a few remaining livable areas of the ship so it's not as much work as one might imagine. And to think 18 years ago, I was just an ordinary passenger, how far through the ranks I've come! As the "Captain" I will now recount the entire history of the Aniara, the various events, the everyday happenings, from the awe inspiring and amazing, to the boring and mundane, great triumphs and crushing defeats, all the feelings of happiness and joy that come with new life and all of the sorrows and despair that come from (too) many deaths and (too) many hardships. All of our great accomplishments, setbacks and everything in between will be laid bare before the entire universe to witness. Our love, our hate, our dreams, our wants and desires, disappointments, anger and fear but above all our HOPE. Our precious HOPE, the only thing we have left, which has kept us alive for so long. Our HOPE that this message will be received, that someone, somewhere will know our story and our struggle, our HOPE that Mars will be successfully terraformed into the paradise that we all know it can be and our HOPE that Earth will be restored to the paradise that it once was. It's all here, it's all being recorded for the future. I will start our saga from the very beginning of our trip all those years ago...
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Hour 1 - Routine Voyage - Well, this is it! Soon I and many others will make a new home on Mars... of course if we hadn't ruined the first one...
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Week 3 - Without a Map/A Slight Detour - Today the Captain made an announcement that there would be a slight detour in our trip. In order to avoid a collision with space debris, (which would have destroyed the ship) we had to veer off course. Some of the debris hit the nuclear reactor (a very rare event), which forced the crew to eject all of the ship's fuel. The Captain told everyone that we will be able to resume our trip to Mars once the ship passes a celestial body, which should (probably) happen in about two years. Everyone is (understandably) disgruntled by this unfortunate news. As for me I have no one waiting for me on Mars so it's not as bad.
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Year 2 - Wait and See - After several long months of trying out all of the various amusements and other distractions, I was starting to get bored, so I spoke with one of the senior crew members and asked if I could volunteer to do something, anything. Also a job would help keep my mind off our current situation.
Today, my request to work was approved and now I'm part of the crew. My job is to do general maintenance tasks around the ship. I also help take care of the algae, which are used to supply the ship with oxygen and food. It's not a very challenging task, in fact I find it very tedious, but the algae are crucial for the ship's survival, so it gives me a sense of purpose and on top of that I also earn extra points.
Eventually, because of my (part time) job in maintenance, I would come to know every nook and cranny of the Aniara. On one particular day I noticed a slight problem (Electrostatic Diffusion Impaction or EDI) with the ship's air filtration mechanism. I was quick to inform my supervisor about the issue and together we fixed it immediately. If I hadn't spotted the problem, it could have gotten much worse and that would have been catastrophic for the crew and passengers. Afterwards my supervisor bought me a shot of (rationed) Dutch brandy. Other than that, nothing of note has really happened. Everyone is basically in a holding pattern.
One last thing. I've heard a disturbing rumor that there is no celestial body for us to turn around at... If this is true then, that would mean... But for now all we can do now is wait and see...
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Year 3 - The Yurg/The Passing of Mima - A memorial was set up to honor the end of Mima. So much joy had she given us. On the wall among the thousands of drawings, pictures, and sad goodbye letters was a poem that went like this:
We sit and stare at all the marvels that she brings us.
Mima lead the way.
Shine your light!
Be the beacon of hope at night.
Perfect grace in the barren house of space.
Shine your light!
Blind us when reality bites.
We so need the magic she does.
Many rumors are going around about what happened to Mima. People say that the Mimarobe (MR) was the one that ended up causing Mima to die. As for me, personally, I don't believe it. The Mimarobe just didn't seem like the type. A few times after I got off from work, when I walked to the end of the long line of people waiting to see Mima, the Mimarobe would come out and say "Ok, everyone that's it that's enough for today, you have to leave now, sorry." My own personal opinion is that she was just trying to give Mima a break, so even though I was of course disappointed, I completely understood. Sometimes we all just need a break. Sometimes things just get to you and you start to feel overwhelmed. I understood the feeling. Mima was like us in that way. Anyway, Rightly or wrongly the Mimarobe was locked up in the ships brig, her and another woman, I think she was one of the pilots, Isabella\, I think was her name but I might be wrong. Oh well, our lives must go on, much sadder of course, but that's life, I guess. ****Isagel, the pilots name was Isagel, her and the Mimarobe would later become a couple.
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Year 4 - The Cults - Strange things have started happening. Various cults have sprung up all over the ship with bizarre and strange names. One of these (that I am a member of) is called the ゴールデンサンライト・フォーエバー・クラブ - Gōrudensanraito Fōeba Kurabu - which roughly means the Golden Sunlight Forever Club. Some of these phony cults are/were created as a disguise to have outrageous sex orgies. The cult that I am part of is one of these. (HELL YEAH!). The other cults are very boring, stare out the window and worship the stars or something like that, types. (Glad I'm not a member of those!).
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Year 5 - The Calculation - A few weeks ago I met someone special (Carmen) at one of the "worship" services. I've seen her before a few times, but this is the first time that we "connected" and it was amazing. I'm glad that she accepts my physical imperfections (burns scars). Now we are a couple and have left the cult.
Fantastic news! The Captain has announced that an Emergency Refuel Rescue Probe is on its way! The news of the rescue probe has had an electrifying effect on the crew and passengers. Everyone is so excited that no one even cares that we will have to wait just over a year for it to get to us. People are starting to clean and pick up trash again, and the sex clubs and other cults are starting to go away (in anticipation of a return to proper civilization). Now we have hope again! Thank GOD!
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Year 6 - The Spear - The rescue probe is almost here. (Only one week away!) I also have even more great news! My girlfriend fiancée is pregnant!, now I will be a Father just like I always wanted! I have spoken to Captain Chefone and he has agreed that he will marry us on the day that the Aniara turns around and heads (finally) back to Mars/our new HOME! Even though it will take us several more years to get back, it will have been worth it to me. I am grateful for the "slight detour" we had to endure, because it allowed me to meet the love of my life! Now with our precious child on the way, I am truly happy. PURE JOY - beyond all words...
Something is wrong... After an entire year of training and preparation, the crew has successfully grappled the refuel probe and brought it on board. Everyone expected that within a few days, (a week at most) that we would turn around, but it's been three weeks and nothing. Every day the passengers ask the crew what's going on? When will we turn around? and every day we get the same answer: "Soon, everything is going according to plan, just be patient." People are starting to doubt and lose hope. I even walked right up to Captain Chefone but he knew what I was going to ask and he brushed me aside very angrily saying "Not now, I'm busy!". Now I don't know what to think. One minute I have a future and the next nothing. How can this be? I don't understand! WHY?
Catastrophe! After work I went straight to my quarters to sleep, it had been an exhausting day. Just after I fell asleep, I was awakened by a rumbling. Then, over the speaker came the announcement: Return immediately to your cabins and fasten your seat belts! Since I was already in bed, and had no idea what was going on, I quickly fastened my belt. When it was all over [missing] passengers and crew left. I was told that it happened because of something called "bow shock", which [missing] kind of like a shock wave. The bow shock had badly damaged many systems. [missing] so now I've been "promoted" to Senior Maintenance Tech. Repairs must [missing] don't have any more spare parts for [missing] so many are dead...
Today the Mimarobe completed her beam-screen project. So now when you look outside you can see beautiful waterfalls and green fields etc. I try not to look at it too much. For me its just too painful...
Year 7 - The Fall of Heaven - Today marks the one year anniversary of the arrival of the so-called "Emergency Refuel Rescue Probe". What a very official and grand sounding name for a giant stupid looking dart or as some call it "The Spear". I've even heard some people refer to it as the "Devil's Javelin", but whatever you call it, it's of no use to us. The Astronomer had once told me before she died "supposedly" from a heart attack, (rumors say she was murdered by the captain, I don't doubt it) that all the work and tests they had done on the probe were useless and that even the hardest drills were simply ground into dust without even making so much as a scratch on the probe. Despite a literal barrage of tests and every possible experiment known, even using our most advanced lasers, they had achieved NOTHING! That was the moment I realized that we would never make it home. I even visted "The Spear" once, it was years after all the experiments had ended. There was a time when the area was heavily guarded by the crew and only authorized personnel were allowed in. Of course when I went to see it nobody was around, nobody cared, everyone had given up on it long ago. I saw all of the black marks from what must have been hundreds, if not thousands of desperate attempts to get inside it, or just to figure out what the damn thing was supposed to be. On the floor all around it were small heaps of black and silver metalic dust, remnants of our strongest and hardest drills, remnants of our hope. Our best and brightest couldn't even figure out what it was made of, let alone figure out how to use it to take us home.
I beat my hands against it over and over and I cried out my pain and anger at it. "You were supposed to save us!" "You were supposed to take us home!" You Damn! stupid thing, help us! save us!" But of course it was all useless my cries went unanswered, all I did was injure my hands and hurt my soul, assuming I even have one. After that I (I'm ashamed to admit it)... in complete and total desperation... I got down on my hands and knees in front of it and begged it to save us. "Oh, great magic spear, please save us and I will do anything, anything..."
After I had exhausted and humiliated myself I got up and went back to my quarters broken and alone. All hope was lost before my visit with "the spear" and afterwords it didn't even exist, not even as a word, as though there had never even been such a thing or concept as "hope".
I had been struck by the spear, just like everyone else, head on. My now ex-fiancée and I have split up. Things just weren't the same after the procedure. I don't blame her at all for our break-up, after talking about it, we agreed that if there was now no chance for us to make it home then... what was the point? I went with her when she had the procedure done. But before we went I secretly met with the doctor who would perform the operation and told her what I wanted done after. She told me that I was sick... that it was "disgusting", and what did I plan on doing with "it". I told her that it shouldn't matter, none of this matters, then I pulled out an EFR (emergency food ration). EFRs could remain edible for an indefinite period of time. (In theory they could last for hundreds of years.) Here I said, "one now and one when I get what I want". The doctor was stunned, I knew what she was going to say and I interrupted her and said,"Unlike everyone else I saved my emergency rations." "I only have the two left (I was lying) so don't try to extort me for more." After years of eating only algae, EFRs were (almost) more valuable than oxygen. Of course the doctor agreed and I got what I wanted. It might sound crazy but I had a plan. Fate had taken my family away, but I was prepared to defy even the gods themselves. I was determined that I would have my FAMILY! No matter what! Nothing and no one, no force of nature, no power in all the universe would take that from me. NO! NEVER!
I asked me a question, no reply.
I dreamt me a life and live a lie.
Dream me a nightmare...
I traveled the stars but passed them by.
For trapped on Aniara, here was I.
...always been leaving.
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Year 8 - [missing]
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Year 9 - The Daily Grind - I have now returned to reality. I have stopped all of the sick and sad mind games that I have being torturing myself with. I once created a "plan" to do the impossible, but no more, no more. Everyday now seems like an endless pointless, struggle. Sometimes [missing] and hours. Some of my co-workers stopped [missing] for now that's all any of us can do...
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Year 10 - The Jubilee - Tonight at the Light-Year Hall, those of us that are still left are going to "celebrate" the 10th anniversary of our 3 week voyage to Mars or as I like to call it the "never ending space adventure" Ha!
Captain Chefone gave the Mimarobe a medal for her creation of the beam-screen device. I sat in the front row and couldn't help but notice that one of the Captains wrists was bandaged, probably from another suicide attempt...
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Year 11 - Hope Restored - My ex-fiancée is dead. She commited suicide like so many others before. I was hard at work trying to revive the algae (they had been neglected for some time) when my assistant rushed in and told me the news. "They were about to send her body into space, you have to hurry if you want to see her". I immediately and literally dropped everything I was doing. The algae pack I had been working on fell and splashed on the floor as I ran out the door as fast as I could. As luck would have it, I made it just in time to see her, and I even had time to cut a lock of her hair. I then kissed her one last time and said "Goodbye my love... but, goodbye is not forever."
Then that was it, off she went into the empty, endless, void. She was gone I told myself, but not dead. I squeezed the lock of hair in my hand and vowed that I would bring her back to life, somehow, someway, I would make things right, we would live the life we were supposed to have. I would make it happen. It would happen. Suddenly, I felt a force deep inside me rushing to the surface. It had been years but I knew what it was, It had returned to me, a feeling of exuberation, of joy and the certainty of knowing that everything would be okay. I now resurrected my "plan" and now I had a reason to live again, I had a purpose, and now I had......HOPE! And this time I was determined that I would never lose hope again. NEVER!
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Year 12 - Return of the Cults - Some of the old cults have started making a come back... However this time they are no longer sex/fun cults, because after so many years of eating just algae, almost everyone has lost their sex drive/ability to reproduce... I think because the type algae on board was genetically modified to produce the maximum amount of oxygen possible, so it was never intended to be used as a permanent main source of nutrition. If we had access to more than just the one type, things might be different...
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Year 13 - Foward, Foward into the cold empty night! We ride! - Captain Chefone is dead. Suicide. I knew he had been on the brink the past few years so it's not much of a surprise. I would often hear him say to himself "We should have been home by now." Of course he was right, we should have, but instead here we are stuck on this eternal "voyage of the damned".
A week after Captain Chefone died, I found myself walking by his quarters. I had the sudden impulse to go inside. I don't know what it was (probably just morbid curiosity), but I think I just wanted to find some answers...
I was surprised to find that his quarters were just as much of a mess as mine. (And everyone else's.) I think because he was the Captain, I expected a lot more. (He was only human.) After looking around the room, I went over to his desk and inside I found the Aniara's Offical Ships Log, but the electronic notepad was damaged beyond repair (on purpose). However, underneath it was a small paper notebook. "Ah, I said out loud, now this should be interesting." When I opened the notebook I was immediately disappointed. Most of the pages were torn out and those few that remained had been harshly scribbled over.
On one of the few pages not missing or completely marked over was written this: Today, we almost lost the entire ship, were it not for my quick and decisive actions as Captain. [illegible] an incredibly rare occurrence [illegible] critically damaged our main nuclear reactor. [illegible] only seconds [illegible] forcing me to [illegible] off course [illegible] have power for some time. This evening I will break the news to the passengers in such a way that will cause the least amount of panic and at the same time not destroy their hope. If they knew the real situation, it would only cause unnecessary chaos. In this way, I will maintain order and keep the passengers safe. Fear and [illegible] as Captain of Aniara [illegible] that is now my primary job. [illegible] now like a Shepherd Father and the passengers my sheep children. In many ways we are very lucky, [illegible] this trip, Aniara's sister ship crashed into Jupiter heading towards the Orion belt colony. Everyone on onboard was killed.
On another page was written this: The rescue refuel probe is here. [illegible] turned out to be [illegible] not what I expected. I have [illegible] for clarification, [illegible] Mars [illegible] -----cation. Testing will continue. I still remain confident that [illegible] the project called "[illegible] ---elin" can still be used in someway to turn the ship around and resume course.
The last two pages were so scribbled over that I could barely make out any words let alone a full sentence. I did however, notice what looked like the word "Devil" written over and over. Very strange. I left the Captain's quarters with more questions than answers...
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Year 14 - [missing]
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Year 15 - The Light Show Ends - Today the projection device created by MR, (Everyone still calls her the 'Mimarobe' as a sign of respect.) had to be shut down to conserve power. The Mimarobe often expressed to me her regret at not being more forceful with Captain Chefone in explaining the problem with Mima. She told me that if she could back in time she would say to the Captain:
"Just imagine what it will be like if Mima isn't here... do you understand how hellish the situation will become? My life is dedicated to this program and I'M TELLING YOU, IT WILL BURN OUT AND DIE! Imagine if people can temporarily go back to earth by turning on a light switch, now imagine if the bulb blows up, and there's no replacement..." "I know how important Mima is and you don't get it!"
The beam-screen seemed like a great idea at the time to keep everyone's spirits up, but in many ways it may have done more harm than good. People lost their minds staring all the time at something they knew they would never have...
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Year 16 - [missing]
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Year 17 - [missing]
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Year 18 - The Time/Memorial Capsule - The Mimarobe was the one that came up with the idea for a time/memorial capsule. She (like all of us) has suffered greatly, but from time to time she would show a small spark of her old self. The idea, while slow to catch on, would eventually give those of us still left a renewed sense of purpose. (People now had a reason to get out of bed.) But, it was I who would take the idea and transform it into something greater. Our first attempt at creating the capsule was successful (it was little more than a metal box) but at the same time, as the Mimarobe pointed out it looked too much like a large coffin. I agreed. We could do better. We had to do better. But we had to be careful [missing] effecting power systems. I asked the Mimarobe if she could sketch a better design. After two days the Mimarobe presented me with a new design, it was beautiful, but simple, yet elegant. Above the sketch was were the words, "Heart of Aniara." The name was perfect. We would fill the "Heart of Aniara", with our art and our poetry, with our hopes, dreams and wedding rings. We would pour into it our stories, our struggles, our trials and tribulations, we would fill it with the tear drops from our very souls.
The "Heart of Aniara" is almost complete. It has taken an entire [missing] solid effort to build and everyone took turns polishing it, so now it shines like the golden sun. We also wrote [missing] and painted two large red hearts on the sides. It [missing] long and on the inside are different [missing] created using metal partitions. [missing] was instrumental in its consruction...
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Year 19 - A Slight Delay - Disaster! Several Power systems, including all emergency back up systems across the ship have begun failing for some unknown reason. [missing] working around the clock to figure out what is wrong... I don't know how much longer we can hold on...
We finally found the [missing] will work for the time being, but [missing] restored power [missing] will do for now...
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Year 20 - The Heart of Aniara - At last the time has come for our send off. Everything is ready. As the "Captain" of Aniara it is my great honor to commision this new vessel "Heart of Aniara". Behind me I heard someone whisper "vessel?". I continued, "It is my firm belief that the "Heart of Aniara" will make it back home to Mars and everyone will know our stories..."
A moment before send off, I told everyone to wait. Theres one more thing left. I then slid open a hatch on the side and told everyone that I hated to do this to them, but I was going to Mars with my family. The Mimarobe approached me with a half smile on her face and said in a very serious tone "Good Luck, Captain Benny", "tell everyone on Mars hi for us and that we wish we were there." I smiled and promised that I would. Then to my suprise all the others came up to me, with some shaking my hand and congratulating me, asking me to say hi to their family and friends as well. I then ducked down into the newly christened "Heart of Aniara." Then the hatch was sealed. A small rechargable electric candle that I brought with me, provided the only light. Knowing that we would be leaving in a moment I opened a small box, took Carmen (lock of ex-fiancée's hair) and Sarah Ann (small jar with dead fetus) and held them together in my left hand against my chest. I could feel my heart beating with a mixture of fear and excitement. I took out a small children's book with my right hand and began reading it from the beginning. It was my daughter's favorite. It was called "The Duck and the Noodle." "Daddy are we there yet?" I laughed as tears ran down my face and said "Yes, my little princess noodle were almost there."
The Memorial Capsule lauched into space with a loud whoosh...
(Mimarobe, MR) - When everyone had just got through waving goodbye and were getting ready to leave, the view screen turned on and with it a pre-recorded message from Captain Benny. "To celebrate this great day, I have arranged for you a "Grand Feast", then he paused. A few people exchanged questioning looks. Then the Captain spoke again. "You see", he said with a smile, "Unlike all of you, I saved my emergency rations. You will find them hidden inside the mattress in my quarters, enjoy!" "Also, you will find two bottles of wine, yes! real wine!" Before the video even finished several people had started shuffling as fast as the could to Captain Benny's quarters. The Captain wasn't lying, it appeared that he had indeed saved almost all of his emergency rations for some special occasion(s).
What a feast it was! To make it fair for everyone we took all of the rations and put them together to create a kind of giant stew. Each of us not only savored each precious spoonful, we cherished it as though it was a long lost loved one. It is not an exaggeration to say that each bite was chewed one hundred times or more and then held in the mouth for ten minutes or longer, swishing the pulpy liquid around and around. I even saw one person spit the food back into their bowl and then put it back into their mouth, over and over again. That seemed a little bit unusual to me, but everyone should enjoy their last real meal the way they want. As for the wine their was enough for everyone to have a shot glass filled to the brim. We talked about the "Great Feast" for months afterword...
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Year 21 - [missing]
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Year 22 - The Living Dead - (Mimarobe, MR) We've had to abandon almost the entire ship to conserve power, but basically were still good alive... I still dream about Isagel and our son from time to time...
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Year 23 - [missing]
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Year 24 - The Sarcophagus - A few remaining survivors, including the Mimarobe, sit cross-legged in a dimly lit room. One of the few survivors speaks in a rhapsodic manner about the divine power of sunlight on Earth.
The Aniara slowly descends into final darkness...
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Note: Years 25 through 5,981,406 are missing.
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Year 5,981,407 - Lyra Constellation - The Aniara, derelict, frozen and devoid of human life - reaches the Lyra constellation and approaches a planet as verdant and welcoming as Earth was formerly. It quickly passes by continuing on into the endless void of space...
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Date Unknown - The Warm Embrace - Ages come, Ages gone, Aniara soon embraced, engulfed by warmth and shine, newest born crimson light, Aniara far from home, aflame, not even ashes remain.
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Epilogue: Year 100 - The Triumph of Hope - Despite the faliure of many valiant rescue attempts, including all attempts at communication, we remain confident that those onboard the Aniara knew that they were not forgotten. It is difficult to imagine (the speaker momentarily shuttered), the impossible challenges they endured. The story of their lives will remain in the collective hearts of humanity for all time. It is our hope that we will do right by them, now and in the future. We vow to never repeat the mistakes of the past... and that is why today, on the one hundredth anniversary since the Aniara was lost, we reach across time and space to bring their souls back home, home to this sacred place... We hereby consecrate this new park as the "Aniara Memorial Park and Museum Complex." As you walk through these doors, one of the first things you will notice is the "Heart of Aniara" on display. Along the walls are the names and pictures of the passengers and crew, their artwork, poetry, and most importantly, the stories of their lives, their hopes, dreams and wedding rings...
Aniara Memorial Plaque: We ourselves are the sorrow, we are also the joy, everything human is rooted in humanity, and no human being can escape humanity, not her hatred and her self-degradation, nor the joy she spreads, nor the love she forms.
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Date [redacted] - Project "Devil's Javelin" - Status report #[redacted] - As of today's date we are aware of a total of four "spear-like objects" [redacted] and has contextualized that there are many more as yet discovered. Because of [redacted] we now know they are made of [redacted] and probably come from [redacted] the first was found on Earth 86 years ago, at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. The second one was discovered by the crew of the Aniara [redacted] years ago. The third was found here on Mars, near [redacted] and moved to its present secure location. The fourth and newest one was found when [redacted] the far side of the Moon. [redacted] buried inside the [redacted] impact crater. We have yet to discover the purpose of these "spear-like objects."
After [redacted] to prevent another type of incident. [redacted] have been able to gain access to the inside of the one here on Mars. [redacted] only after [redacted] and the entire team. [redacted] using the most advanced technology and research methods. Dr. [redacted] found [redacted] which is impossible and should not exist. However, we must now come to grips with the horror that this new revelation about humanity has [redacted] general public must never find out...
THE END?
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Alternate ending 1
Year 5,981,407 - The Sarcophagus World Destroyer - As the ship Aniara descended towards the lush and green planet, the crew rejoiced. Or at least they would have if they hadn't all been dead. After thousands of millennia wandering through space, they had found a planet that was almost identical to Earth.
The planet's gravity was very strong, and the ship had become trapped in the planet's gravitational pull and started hurtling towards the surface.
The Aniara crashed into the planet with a deafening roar, causing massive destruction and sending out shockwaves that rippled across the surface.
As the dust settled, it became clear that the landing had been catastrophic. Plant and animal life had been completely obliterated, and the once green planet was now a barren wasteland. Soon not a single living thing was left to witness the horror and the devastation that had been caused.
Another beautiful, thriving, planet, a blue and green jewel, once teeming with life has been turned into a lifeless barren wasteland...
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Alternate ending 2
Year 5,981,407 - The Second Chance Sarcophagus - As the ship Aniara descended towards the lush and green planet, the crew rejoiced. Or at least they would have if they hadn't all been dead. After thousands of millennia wandering through space, they had found a planet that was almost identical to Earth.
The planet's gravity was very strong, and the ship had become trapped in the planet's gravitational pull and started hurtling towards the surface.
One one-trillionth of a second after the Aniara crashed into the planet the mysterious spear-like probe on board finally awakened. A God-Like Power. In that one one-trillionth of a second the Aniara was scanned by the powerful probe and the events and lives of the crew had become known to it. At the same time, both the ship and the planet were saved by a force field of immense power. The ship was now resting safely on the surface of the lush, green planet. The probe had determined that the primitive life forms on board were worthy of a second chance at life and it was able to resurrect the entire crew and all the passengers from microscopic DNA that had been left. The Aniara was perfectly restored and even the Mima had been brought back. The crew and passengers awoke to find themselves in a veritable Garden of Eden, a paradise. Maybe this time things would go better and the mistakes from the past would not be repeated...
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I’m allowing my brother to live in denial and I know that’s not healthy but I guess it is better than reality. Him knowing other people know that you and him both caused your death. I am so angry at both of you, and if I’m being honest mainly you. It’s your body you knew you should have stopped drinking and told him enough that it was killing you.
Now I’m left here picking up the fucking pieces.
Your children are left without a mother because you guys were so selfish in you’re thinking. I am now having to live through the pain of being the one here experiencing their first of many things by my brothers side seeing it tear him apart inside. My nephews, your children. Are having to face the scary world motherless all because you couldn’t put down the bottle. I am telling them good night every night and that I love them when it should be you.
I am so tired and hurt by what you two did.
The job of being the sister has gotten so much harder. Watching my brother, not wanting to live and telling him everything is going to be fine. Putting all of my pain to the side line to make sure everyone is fine. Putting a smile on my face every day, holding back the tears taking pictures like this is just any normal vacation.
I gave up myself so you could drink yourself to death
I loved my life, I had a stable job that’s not so stable anymore now that I moved. I had amazing relationship that was blossoming into something so beautiful that wasn’t ready for such a big move. I gave up my life to take on your responsibilities because you couldn’t say no to vodka.
Your selfishness bought a new meaning to my life, so I guess I thank you
My brother and I have not been this close since we were children. As much as I wanted to be a mom and it hasn’t happened now I get to be one to your children. I love the boys so much I have became so close to them. They come to me like they would you, but I know I can never give them the level of love you did no matter how much of myself I give up in the process of trying. I get to watch them grow and experience life by their side. My experiences have grown, because my brother is taking me with them to all these places you guys would be going. We’re going to Hawaii this year, I know how bad you wanted to go I’m so sorry I’m going in your place but no one will know the pain I hold as I smile and take the family photo.

MA = Movies Anywhere
GP = Googleplay
[?] = unknown definition
title = pending trade
If a title is no longer listed = It has been traded
COMBO Films

• 2film: My Girl 1 & 2 SD =MA
• 3film: Mall Cop / Zookeeper / Boom SD =MA
• 3film: Night at the Museum: Trilogy SD =MA
• 3film: The Other Guys, Step Brothers, Talladega Nights SD =MA
• 4film: The Magnificent Seven Collection HD Vudu
• 6film: Joe Dirt, Benchwarmers, House Bunny, The Animal, Deuce Bigalow, Master Of Disguise SD =MA

MOVIES

• SONY BUFF PASSES (Current) - 1
• Universal Rewards (Current) - 1
• 10 Clover Field Lane HD Vudu only
• 12 Rounds 2 Reload HD =MA
• 101 Dalmations HD =MA
• 101 Dalmations (Googleplay) HD =MA
• 127 Hours (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• 1917 HD =MA
• 2 Guns (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• 2 Guns HD =MA
• 21st Jump Street HD =MA
• 21st Jump Street SD =MA
• 22nd Jump Street SD =MA
• 3 From Hell 4K (Vudu Or iTunes)
• 47 Ronin HD =MA (MA Redeem, Vudu Kills Code)
• 47 Ronin =MA 4K (iTunes Portion)
• the 5th Wave SD =MA
• A Dogs Way Home HD =MA
• A Good Day To Die Hard HD = MA
• A Good Day To Die Hard (iTunes redeem) SD = MA
• A Haunted House (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• A Madea Christmas HD Vudu
• A Madea Family Funeral HD (Vudu / iTunes OR GP)
• A Million Ways To Die In The West [unrated] (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• A Monster's Call HD =MA
• A Monster's Call (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the A-Team (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• A Thousand Words SD Vudu
• A Quiet Place HD Vudu Or iTunes 4K
• A Walk Among Tombstones (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• About Last Night HD =MA
• Admission (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• the Adventures Of Tintin SD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• After Earth SD =MA
• the Age Of Adaline HD Vudu
• Alex Cross HD Vudu
• Alpha and Omega 3: Great Wolf Games HD Vudu
• Alice Through The Looking Glass HD =MA
• Alien Covenant HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• All the Devil's Men HD Vudu or iTunes
• Alpha SD =MA
• Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chip Wrecked (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Alvin And The Chipmunks: The Road Chip HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Amazing Spiderman HD =MA
• the Amazing Spiderman SD =MA
• the Amazing Spiderman 2 HD =MA
• the Amazing Spiderman 2 SD =MA
• Amelia (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• American Assassin HD Vudu/GP/iTunes
• American Made HD =MA
• American Girl: Mckenna Shoots For The Stars HD =MA
• American Hustle HD =MA
• American Hustle SD =MA
• Anchorman 2 HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• And So It Goes HD =MA
• the Angry Birds Movie HD =MA
• Annie (2014) HD =MA
• Annie (2014) SD =MA
• Annihilation HD (Vudu Or iTunes) Split
• the Art of Self Defense HD =MA
• Arrival HD Vudu or iTunes 4K
• Arthur (iTunes redeem) SD =MA
• Arthur Christmas SD =MA
• Assassin's Creed HD (4K If iTunes Redeem)=MA
• Atomic Blonde HD =MA
• Atomic Blonde (iTunes Portion) 4K =MA
• August Osage County HD Vudu
• Avengers: End Game HD (googleplay) =MA
• Avengers: Infinity War (googleplay) HD =MA
• Babylon A.D. (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Bad Boys For Life HD =MA
• Bad Boys For Life SD =MA
• Bad Grandpa HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Bad Moms (iTunes) HD =MA
• Bad Moms HD =MA
• Bad Words (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Bank Job HD Vudu
• Barbie & Her Sisters In A Puppy Chase HD =MA
• Battle Of The Year HD =MA
• Battleship 4K =MA (iTunes Portion)
• Battleship HD =MA
• Baywatch (Vudu-HD Or iTunes-4K)
• Beethoven Treasure Tail (iTunes Portion) HD =MA
• Beethoven Treasure Tail HD =MA
• Begin Again HD Vudu
• Beirut HD =MA
• Big Hero HD (4k if iTunes redeem) =MA
• Big Hero HD (googleplay) =MA
• the Best Man Holiday HD =MA
• the Best Man Holiday (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Big Miracle (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Big Short HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• the Big Wedding HD Vudu Or iTunes
• the Big Wedding SD Vudu
• the Big Year (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Black Nativity [Extended] HD =MA
• Black Swan (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Blackhat HD =MA (iTunes Portion)
• Blockers HD =MA
• Bloodshot SD =MA
• Blue Jasmine HD =MA
• Boo! A Madea Halloween HD V/I/GP
• the Book Of Life HD =MA
• Boss Baby HD =MA
• the Bourne: Identity HD =MA
• the Bourne: Identity (iTunes Redeem) 4K =MA
• the Bourne: Legacy HD =MA
• the Bourne: Legacy (iTunes Redeem) 4K =MA
• the Bourne: Supremacy HD =MA
• the Bourne: Supremacy (iTunes Redeem) 4K =MA
• the Boy [unrated] HD =MA
• the Boy [unrated] HD =MA (iTunes portion)
• the Boy Next Door HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Boyhood HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Braven HD Vudu or GP
• Brian Banks HD =MA
• Bride Wars (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Brides Maids (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Bridge Of Spies HD =MA
• Bring It On: Cheersmack HD =MA
• Bring It On: Cheersmack (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Broken City HD Vudu
• the Butler HD Vudu
• the Bye Bye Man HD =MA (iTunes Portion)
• the Cabin In The Woods SD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• the Cabin In The Woods HD Vudu Or GP
• the Call SD =MA
• the Call Of The Wild (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Call Of The Wild HD =MA
• Captain Phillips HD =MA
• Captain Phillips SD =MA
• Captain Under Pants: The First Epic Movie HD =MA
• Carrie [2013] (Vudu or GP) HD
• the Case For Christ (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Case For Christ HD =MA
• Casino Royale HD V/GP
• Cedar Rapids (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Change Up (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Change Up Unrated (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Chappie SD =MA
• Chasing Mavericks [2012] HD =MA
• the Choice HD (iTunes, Vudu Or GP)
• the Choice HD (Vudu Only)
• Chronicle HD =MA
• Chronicle (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Chronicles Of Riddick [unrated] (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2 SD =MA
• Coal Miner's Daughter HD = MA
• Coal Miner's Daughter HD = MA (iTunes portion)
• the Commuter HD V/i/GP
• Concussion (will Smitch) HD =MA
• Concussion (will Smitch) SD =MA
• the Condemned 2 HD Vudu
• Contraband (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Counselor HD =MA
• Countdown [wwe films] HD Vudu
• Cowboys And Aliens (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Croods (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Cruella HD =MA
• Cruella (Googleplay) HD =MA
• Cult Of Chucky [unrated] HD =MA
• Cult Of Chucky [unrated] HD =MA (iTunes Redeem)
• Curse Chucky (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Curse Of Chucky HD =MA
• Daddy's Home HD Vudu / 4K iTunes (split)
• Dallas Buyers Club HD (iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Danny Collins HD (iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Dark Tower HD =MA
• Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes HD (4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• the Day The Earth Stood Still (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Dead In Tombstone [unrated] HD =MA
• Dead Man Down SD =MA
• Deadpool HD (4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• Deadpool 2 [super dooper cut] HD =MA
• the Descendants (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Deliver Us From Evil SD =MA
• Despicable Me (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Despicable Me 2 (4K iTunes) =MA
• Despicable Me 2 HD =MA
• the Devil Inside SD Vudu
• Devils Due HD =MA
• Diary Of A Wimpy Kid (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Dictator SD Vudu
• Die Hard: A Good Day To Die (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Dilemma HD =MA
• Dirty Dancing SD Vudu
• Dirty Grandpa SD Vudu
• Disney Nature: Monkey Kingdom HD =MA
• Disney Shorts Collection HD =MA
• Divergent HD Vudu
• Divergent [4k Itunes] or [GP-HD]
• Divergent Series: Allegiant HD Vudu
• Divergent Series: Allegiant SD Vudu
• Divergent Series: Insurgent HD Vudu/GP (iTunes Split)
• Divergent Series: Insurgent SD Vudu
• Django Unchained HD Vudu
• Dom Hemingway HD =MA
• Downsizing HD Vudu & iTunes 4K
• Downton Abbey The Movie HD =MA
• Dracula Untold (iTunes Redeem) 4K =MA
• Dracula Untold HD =MA
• Draft Day HD Vudu/iTunes Split
• Draft Day SD Vudu
• Dragon Heart 3 (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Dragon Heart 3 HD =MA
• Dredd HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Dredd 4K (Vudu Or iTunes) Or GP-HD
• Drive (2011) HD MA
• the Duel SD Vudu
• the Duff HD Vudu
• Dumb And Dumber To (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Dying Of The Light HD Vudu
• E.T. (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA (from bluray)
• E.T. HD =MA
• E.T. SD =MA
• Escape Plan HD Vudu
• Edward Scissorhands HD =MA
• Elysium SD =MA
• the Emoji Movie HD =MA
• Empire State HD Vudu
• End Of Watch (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Ender's Game 4K Vudu/iTunes Split
• Ender's Game HD Vudu/iTunes/GP
• Enough Said HD =MA
• Epic (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Epic HD =MA
• Escape Plan HD Vudu
• the Equalizer HD =MA
• the Equalizer SD =MA
• Ex Machina HD Vudu
• Exodus: Gods And Kings HD (4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• the Expendables 2 HD Vudu/iTunes/GP
• the Expendables 3 4K Vudu
• the Expendables 3 [unrated] HD
• the Expendables 3 HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Extraction HD Vudu
• Fast & Furious 1 (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 1 HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 2 (4K iTunes) =MA
• Fast & Furious 3 HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 4 HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 4 (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Fast & Furious 5 Extended (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 5 Extended HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 6 Extended (4K iTunes) =MA
• Fast & Furious 6 Extended HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 7 Extended HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 7 Extended (4K iTunes) =MA
• Fast Furious 8 Extended 4K =MA
• Fast Furious 8 Extended HD =MA
• Fast Furious 8 Theatrical 4K =MA
• Fast Furious 8 Theatrical HD =MA
• the Fault In Our Stars HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Fault In Our Stars HD =MA (no Upgrade)
• the Favourite HD =MA
• Fences HD VUDU or iTunes 4K (split)
• Fifty Shades Darker [unrated] (iTunes) HD =MA
• Fifty Shades Darker [unrated] HD =MA
• Fifty Shades Of Grey [unrated] HD =MA
• Fifty Shades Of Grey [standard] 4K (iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Fighter HD =MA
• Finding Dory (googleplay) HD =MA
• Finding Dory HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Finding Nemo (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Finest Hour HD =MA
• the Finest Hour (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Five Year Engagement (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Flight HD (Vudu / iTunes Split)
• Footloose (2011) SD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Frank & Lola HD =MA
• Fright Night 2 UR HD =MA
• the Front Runner SD = MA
• Frozen HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Frozen (googleplay) HD =MA
• Frozen (sing Along Edition) HD =MA
• Frozen (sing-along Edition) (googleplay) HD =MA
• Frozen Ground HD Vudu
• Fury HD =MA
• Fury SD =MA
• G.I.Joe Retaliation HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• the Gambler HD (Vudu / iTunes Split)
• Gemini Man HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Get On Up (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Get The Gringo (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Ghost In The Shell [2017] HD Vudu Only
• Ghost Rider Spirit Of Vengeance SD =MA
• Ghostbusters HD =MA
• Ghostbusters: Answer The Call & Extended HD =MA
• Gifted HD =MA
• the Girl In The Spidersweb SD =MA
• the Girl On The Train =MA 4K (iTunes Redeem)
• the Girl On The Train =MA HD
• the Giver HD Vudu
• Gladiator Vudu or iTunes 4K
• Glee The Concert (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• God's Not Dead 3: A Light In Darkness HD =MA
• Gods Of Egypt HD Vudu (and iTunes 4K split)
• Gods Of Egypt SD Vudu
• Grace Unplugged HD Vudu
• the Grand Budapest Hotel HD =MA
• Grease Vudu =HD (itunes portion kills code)
• the Great Wall (iTunes Portion) 4K =MA
• the Great Wall HD =MA
• the Greatest Showman HD =MA
• the Grey (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Grown Ups 2 HD =MA
• Grown Ups 2 SD =MA
• Guardians Of The Galaxy Volume 1 HD =MA (no 4K Upgrade)
• Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2.0 (googleplay) HD =MA
• Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2.0 4K =MA
• the Gunman HD =MA
• the Gunman (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Hacksaw Ridge HD Vudu iTunes Or GP
• Hail, Caesar! HD =MA
• Hail, Caesar! (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Halloween Kills Extended HD =MA
• Hammer Of The Gods SD Vudu
• Hansel & Gretel [unrated] HD Vudu / HD iTunes (split)
• Hands of Stones HD Vudu
• the Hangover (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Hardcore Henry HD =MA (iTunes redeem)
• Harvey (1950) (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Hateful Eight HD Vudu Or GP
• the Haunting In Connecticut 2 Ghosts Of Georgia HD Vudu
• the Heat HD =MA
• the Heat (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA (will Send First)
• Heaven Is For Real HD =MA
• Heaven Is For Real SD =MA
• Hell Or High Water SD Vudu
• Hellboy (2019) 4K Vudu/iTunes/(GP HD)
• Here Comes The Boom SD =MA
• Hidden Figures HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Hillsong: Let Hope Rise HD =MA
• Hocus Pocus (googleplay) HD =MA
• Holiday Inn (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Home Again HD =MA
• Home Alone 4K =MA
• Home Alone HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Home Alone 2: Lost In New York HD =MA
• Homefront (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Homefront HD =MA
• Honey 2 (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Honey 2 HD =MA
• Hop (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Hop HD =MA
• Hope Springs HD =MA
• Horton Hears A Who (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Host (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Hostiles 4K Vudu/iTunes/(GP HD)
• Hotel Transylvania SD =MA
• Hotel Transylvania 3 SD =MA
• Hours SD Vudu
• House With A Clock In Its Walls HD =MA
• How To Train A Dragon 2 HD =MA
• the Hundred Foot Journey (googleplay) HD =MA
• Hugo SD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• the Hunger Games HD Vudu
• the Hunger Games: Catching Fire HD Vudu
• the Hunger Games: Mocking Jay Part 1 HD Vudu
• the Hunger Games: Mocking Jay Part 2 HD Vudu
• I See You HD Vudu (no itunes)
• I, Frankenstein HD Vudu/iTunes/GP
• Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Ice Age: Dawn Of Dinosaurs (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Identity Thief (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Ides Of March HD =MA
• In Time (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Incarnate (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Independence Day Resurgence HD =MA (no Upgrade)
• Independence Day Resurgence HD (4K if iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• Inferno HD =MA
• Inglorious Bastards (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Inside Out HD (4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• Inside Out (google Redeem) HD =MA
• Insidious Chapter 2 SD =MA
• Insidious: the last key SD =MA
• Internship (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Interview HD =MA
• the Interview SD =MA
• Into The Spider-verse SD =MA
• Iron Man 3 (googleplay) HD =MA
• Iron Man 3 HD (4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• Jack Reacher SD Vudu
• Jack Reacher HD Vudu (4K itunes split)
• Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit HD Vudu Or iTunes
• Jarhead 2 [unrated] HD =MA
• Jarhead 2 [unrated] HD =MA (iTunes portion)
• Jarhead Law Of Return HD =MA
• Jason Bourne HD =MA
• Jason Bourne 4K =MA (iTunes portion)
• Jaws HD =MA
• Joe SD Vudu
• John Wick 4K (Vudu,iTunes Or HD-GP)
• John Wick SD? Dvd (Vudu/iTunes/GP)
• John Wick : Chapter 2 HD (Vudu,iTunes Or HD-GP)
• John Wick 3 4K (Vudu,iTunes Or HD-GP)
• Joy HD (4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• Joy HD =MA
• Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle SD =MA
• Jumper (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Jungle Book [2016] (preorder) HD =MA
• Jungle Cruise (googleplay) HD =MA
• Juno (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Jurassic Park (4K iTunes) =MA
• Jurassic Park HD =MA
• Jurassic World (4K iTunes) =MA
• Jurassic World HD =MA
• Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom HD =MA
• Just Wright (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Justin Bieber: Never Say Never HD VUDU / iTunes (split)
• Keeping Up with the Jones (4K if iTunes Redeem) = MA
• Kevin Heart: Let Me Explain HD
• Kickass 2 (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Kickass 2 HD =MA
• Kidnap HD =MA
• Kidnap (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Killer Elite (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Killing Them Softly HD Vudu
• Kin HD Vudu/iTunes/GP
• the Kingsman: The Golden Circle HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Kingsman: The Secret Service HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Kingsman: The Secret Service SD (Vudu) =MA
• Knight And Day (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Knocked Up (iTunes redeem) HD =MA
• Kung Fu Panda 3 HD =MA
• the Last Exorcism Past2 SD =MA
• Last Knights HD Vudu
• the Last Stand HD
• Last Vegas SD =MA
• the Last Witch Hunter SD Vudu
• the Legend Of Hercules HD Vudu
• Les Miserables [1998] HD =MA
• Les Miserables [2012] (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Les Miserables [2012] HD =MA
• Let's Be Cops HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Life HD =MA
• Life As We Know It (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Knight And Day (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Life Of Pi HD (4K iTunes Through Foxredeem) =MA
• Lightyear (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Little Mermaid HD =MA
• the Little Mermaid (googleplay) HD =MA
• Little Women (2019) HD =MA
• Lockout (unrated) SD =MA
• the LOFT (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Logan HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Logan Lucky HD =MA
• Logan Lucky 4K (iTunes) =MA
• the Lone Ranger (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Lone Ranger HD =MA
• Lone Survivor HD =MA
• Lone Survivor 4K (iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Longest Ride HD ( 4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• the Longest Week HD Vudu
• Looper SD =MA
• the Lorax (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Lorax HD =MA
• the Lord of The Rings: Return Of The King HD =MA
• the Lords Of Salem HD Vudu
• Love Actually (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Love Actually SD =MA
• Love & Mercy HD VUDU
• Love & Other Drugs (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Machete (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted HD =MA
• Madea's Neighbors From Hell The Play SD Vudu
• Madea's Witness Protection HD Vudu Or iTunes
• Madea's Witness Protection SD Vudu
• Maggie HD Vudu Only
• Maleficent (googleplay) HD =MA
• Maleficent HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Maleficent: mistress of evil (googleplay) HD =MA
• Mall Cop 2 SD =MA
• Mamma Mia! (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again HD =MA
• the Man With The Iron Fists (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Marauders HD Vudu
• the Marine 4 HD Vudu
• the Marine 6: close quarters SD =MA
• Marley & Me (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Martian HD (4K If iTunes Redeem)=MA
• Mary Poppins HD =MA
• Mary Poppins (googleplay) HD =MA
• Mary Poppins: Returns (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Maze Runner HD (no Upgrade)
• the Mechanic: Resurrection HD Vudu or GP portion. (itunes option "may" work)
• the Mechanic: Resurrection SD Vudu
• Megan Leavey (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Megan Leavey HD =MA
• Men In Black 2 HD =MA
• Men In Black 3 HD =MA
• Men In Black 3 SD =MA
• Middle School: The Worse Years Of My Life HD Vudu/GP or iTunes split
• Midway 4K Vudu/iTunes or GP
• Mike & Dave Need A Wedding Date HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Minions (4K iTunes) =MA
• Minions HD =MA
• Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children HD (4K iTunes redeem) =MA
• Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children HD =MA (Vudu Redeem)
• Mission Impossible: Fallout HD (Vudu or iTunes)
• Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocal HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocal Dvd (Vudu)
• Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (HD Vudu Or iTunes 4K)
• Mom's Night Out SD =MA
• Moneyball HD =MA
• Monte Carlo (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Monuments Men HD =MA
• the Monuments Men SD =MA
• Moonlight HD Vudu
• Monster's University (googleplay) HD =MA
• Mortal Instruments SD =MA
• Mostly Ghostly: Have You Met My Ghoulfriend? (iTunes Portion) HD =MA
• Mostly Ghostly: Have You Met My Ghoulfriend? HD =MA
• the Mountain Between Us HD ( 4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Mr. Holmes HD Vudu
• Mr. Peabody & Sherman HD =MA
• Mr. Popper's Penguins (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Mud HD Vudu
• Mulan Original Cartoon (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Muppets Most Wanted (googleplay) HD =MA
• Muppets Most Wanted HD =MA
• My All American HD =MA
• My All American (iTunes redeem) HD =MA
• My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 HD =MA
• My Life As A Zucchini (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Nebraska HD Vudu
• Nerve SD Vudu
• Night At The Museum Or Night At The Museum: 2 [pick One] HD =MA
• Night At The Museum 2: Battle Of The Smithsonian (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Night At The Museum 3: Secret Of The Tomb HD ( 4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Night School [extended] HD =MA
• No Country For Old Men HD Vudu Or GP
• No Escape HD Vudu
• Noah HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Non-stop (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Non-stop HD =MA
• Norm Of The North HD (iTunes Or GP)
• Norm Of The North HD Vudu Only
• Now You See Me 4K Vudu/iTunes/GP
• Now You See Me HD Vudu
• Now You See Me HD Vudu/iTunes/GP
• Now You See Me 2 SD Vudu
• Oblivion HD =MA
• Office Party HD VUDU or iTunes (split)
• Olympus Has Fallen HD =MA
• Olympus Has Fallen SD =MA
• the Oranges (itunes redeem) SD =MA
• the Other Woman HD =MA
• Ouija: Origin Of Evil (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Overcomer SD =MA
• Oz The Great And Powerful (googleplay) HD =MA
• Oz The Great And Powerful HD =MA
• Pacific Rim: Uprising HD =MA
• Paddington HD Vudu
• Pain & Gain HD Vudu Only
• Paranormal Activity 2 HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Paranormal Activity 3 SD Vudu (try iTunes at your own risk)
• Paranormal Activity 4 HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Paranormal Activity Ghost Dimension HD (Vudu or iTunes)
• Parental Guidance HD =MA
• Parental Guidance (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Parker HD =MA
• Parker SD =MA
• Passengers HD =MA
• Patriots Day HD Vudu (or 4K iTunes)
• Paul [unrated] HD =MA (iTunes Redeem)
• Peanuts Movies HD ( 4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Penguins Of Madagascar HD =MA
• Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters HD =MA
• Perks Of Being A Wallflower HD Vudu Or iTunes SD (split)
• Peter Pan 2: Return To Never Land (googleplay) HD =MA
• Philomena HD Vudu
• Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (googleplay) HD =MA
• Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales HD =MA (iTunes kills code)
• Pirates! Band Of Misfits SD =MA
• Pitch Black [unrated] (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Pitch Perfect HD =MA
• Pitch Perfect [iTunes redeem 4K] =MA
• Pitch Perfect 2 HD =MA
• Pitch Perfect 2 HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Pitch Perfect 3 HD =MA
• Pixels SD =MA
• Planes (googleplay) HD =MA
• Planes HD =MA
• Planes Fire And Rescue (googleplay) HD =MA
• Planes Fire And Rescue HD =MA
• Planes, Trains & Automobiles HD (Vudu or iTunes)
• Playing For Keeps SD =MA
• Pompeii HD =MA
• Pompeii SD =MA
• Possession HD Vudu (SD iTunes)
• Predators (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Premium Rush SD =MA
• the Prince HD Vudu
• Prometheus HD =MA
• Prometheus (iTunes Redeem) [?] =MA
• Promised Land (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Protector 2 SD Vudu
• Public Enemies (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Public Enemies (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Purge (4K iTunes) =MA
• the Purge HD =MA
• the Purge: Anarchy HD =MA
• the Purge: Election Year HD =MA
• Queen Of Katwe (googleplay) HD =MA
• Queen Of Katwe HD =MA
• R.I.P.D. (redeems In iTunes) 4K =MA
• R.I.P.D. HD =MA
• Ralph Breaks The Internet (googleplay) HD =MA
• Rambo HD (Vudu,iTunes4K Or GP)
• Rambo: Last Blood 4K (Vudu,iTunes Or HD-GP)
• Ramona And Beezus (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Rango HD Vudu Or 4K iTunes (split)
• Real Steel (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Reasonable Doubt HD =MA
• Red 2 HD Vudu
• Red Sparrow HD =MA
• Redemption HD Vudu
• Reprisal HD Vudu
• Resident Evil: Retribution HD =MA
• Resident Evil: Retribution SD =MA
• Resident Evil: Welcome To Raccoon City HD =MA
• the Revenant HD =MA
• Ricki And The Flash SD =MA
• Riddick [unrated] HD =MA
• Riddick [unrated] (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Ride Along (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Ride Along HD =MA
• Ride Along 2 (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Rio HD =MA
• Rio (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Rio 2 HD =MA
• Rise Of The Guardians HD =MA
• Rise Of The Planet Of Apes (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Risen SD =MA
• Robin Hood (1973) [Disney-animation] (googleplay) HD =MA
• Robin Hood (2018) Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K
• Robocop 2014 HD Vudu Or GP
• the Rocker (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Rocky Horror Picture Show HD =MA
• Runner Runner HD =MA
• Rush HD =MA
• Safe HD Vudu Only
• Safe House (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Safe House HD =MA
• Same Kind Of Different As Me HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Samson HD =MA
• Santa's Little Helper HD =MA
• Sausage Party HD =MA
• Savages 4K (iTunes Redeem) =MA (unsure Which Version)
• Saving Mr. Banks HD =MA
• Saving Mr. Banks (googleplay) HD =MA
• Scarface 4K (iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Scarface HD =MA
• Scary Stories To Tell In the Dark 4K (Vudu/iTunes or GP)
• Schindler's List =MA HD
• the Scorpion King 3: Battle For Redemption (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Scorpion King 3: Battle For Redemption HD =MA
• the Scorpion King 4: Quest For Power (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Scorpion King 4: Quest For Power HD =MA
• Seal Team 8: Behind Enemy Lines HD (Vudu Or Googleplay)
• Search Party HD =MA
• Search Party (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Secret Life Of Pets HD =MA
• the Secret Life Of Pets (4K iTunes) =MA
• the Secret Life Of Pets 2 HD =MA
• the Secret Life Of Walter Mitty HD =MA
• See No Evil 2 HD Vudu
• Seeking A Friend For The End Of The Earth (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Selma HD (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Seventh Son (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Seventh Son HD =MA (iTunes Portion)
• Sex Tape SD =MA
• the Shack HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Shrek: Forever After (the final chapter) HD =MA
• Showdogs HD =MA
• Sicario 4K w/ googleplay portion
• Sicario 4K Vudu or iTunes
• Silver Linings Playbook HD (Vudu Or Googleplay)
• Single Mom's Club HD
• Sisters [unrated] (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Sisters [unrated] HD =MA
• Skin Trade HD Vudu Redeem
• Skyfall HD (Vudu Or Googleplay)
• Skyfall SD (iTunes)
• Skyscraper HD =MA
• Sleepless (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Slumdog Millionaire (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Smurfs 2 HD =MA
• the Smurfs 2 SD =MA
• Snitch HD Vudu
• Snow White & The Huntsman (4K iTunes) =MA
• Snow White & The Huntsman HD =MA
• Snowden HD =MA
• Snowden (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Son Of God HD =MA
• Sonic The Hedge hog 2 4K (Vudu or iTunes)
• the Spectacular Now SD Vudu
• Spectre 007 HD Vudu/GP/iTunes
• Spider-man: Far From Home HD =MA
• Spider-man: Far From Home SD =MA
• Spider-man: Homecoming HD =MA
• Spider-man: No-way Home SD =MA
• Split HD =MA
• the Sponge Bob Movie: Sponge Out Of Water HD Vudu / iTunes (split)
• Spy [unrated] HD =MA
• St. Vincent HD Vudu
• Stand Up Guys HD Vudu
• the Star SD =MA
• Star Trek [1] HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Star Trek [2] Into Darkness HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Star Trek [3] Beyond HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Star Wars: Force Awakens HD =MA (Vudu - No Upgrade)
• Star Wars: the Last Jedi HD (4k if iTunes redeemed) =MA
• Star Wars: the Last Jedi (Googleplay) HD =MA
• Star Wars: Rise Of The Skywalker 4K =MA
• Star Wars: Rise Of Skywalker (googleplay) HD =MA
• Step Up Revolution HD Vudu Or (iTunes Quality Unknown)
• Straight Out Of Compton (iTunes Redeem) 4K =MA
• Straight Out Of Compton [unrated] HD =MA
• Strange World (googleplay) HD =MA
• Street Kings (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Super 8 HD Vudu Portion
• Super Buddies (googleplay) HD =MA
• Super Troopers 2 HD =MA
• the Sword In The Stone (googleplay) HD =MA
• Taken (theatrical slip) SD =MA
• Taken (Extended slip) SD =MA
• Taken 2 HD =MA
• Taken 3 (extended) HD =MA
• Ted (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Ted [unrated] HD =MA
• Ted 2 (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles HD Vudu/iTunes split
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows HD Vudu/iTunes split
• Temptation HD Vudu
• Temptation HD Vudu or Google Play (ask for this one for GP)
• Terminator Dark Fate HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• That Awkward Moment SD =MA
• That's My Boy SD =MA
• the Theory Of Everything (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Think Like A Man SD =MA
• Think Like A Man Too SD =MA
• This Is 40 (iTunes Portion) HD =MA
• This Is The End HD =MA
• This Is The End SD =MA
• Thor Love And Thunder 4K =MA
• Thor Love And Thunder HD =MA
• Thor Love And Thunder (googleplay) HD =MA
• Thor Ragnarok (googleplay) HD =MA
• Thor Ragnarok HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Three Stooges [the movie] (iTunes redeem) SD =MA
• Tinker Tailor Solder (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Tinkerbell And The Legend Of The NeverBeast HD =MA
• Top Gun HD Vudu & Unknown iTunes (split)
• Total Recall (1990) HD Vudu
• Total Recall (2012) [theater & Extended] HD =MA
• Total Recall (2012) SD =MA
• Tower Heist (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Toy Story 4 (googleplay) HD =MA
• Tracers SD Vudu
• Trainwreck (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Transformers: Age Of Extinction HD (Vudu Only)
• Transformers: Age Of Extinction SD Vudu
• Transformers: Dark Of The Moon HD Vudu
• Transformers: Dark Of The Moon SD Vudu
• Transformers: The Last Knight (digital Cut) HD Vudu Or iTunes 4K Split
• the Transporter (iTunes) SD =MA
• Trauma Center 4K Vudu/iTunes/GP
• Tremors 5: Bloodlines HD =MA
• Tremors 5: Bloodlines (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Tremors 6: A Cold Day In Hell HD =MA
• Trolls HD =MA
• True Grit HD Vudu (iTunes Split)
• Trumbo (iTunes redeem) HD =MA
• the Trust SD Vudu
• Turbo (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Turbo HD =MA
• Twilight: Breaking Dawn Pt 2 HD
• Unbroken (iTunes) HD =MA
• Unbroken HD =MA
• Underworld: Awakening SD =MA
• Underworld: Bloodwars HD =MA
• Unfriended HD (iTunes Portion) =MA
• Unfriended HD =MA
• Unknown (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Unstoppable (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Vampires Suck (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets HD Vudu
• Venom HD =MA
• Venom SD =MA
• the Vow SD =MA
• Walking With Dinosaurs HD =MA
• Wallstreet 2: Never Sleeps (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Wanderlust (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• War Of The Planet Of The Apes HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• War Room HD =MA
• War Room SD =MA
• Warcraft (4K iTunes) =MA
• Warcraft HD =MA
• Warm Bodies HD Vudu
• Warm Bodies HD Vudu/GP/ iTunes (4K iTunes Split)
• the Watch HD =MA
• Water For Elephants (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• We Bought A Zoo (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Wedding Ringer SD =MA
• Werewolf: the Beast Among Us UR HD =MA
• Wanderlust (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Wanted (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• What Happens In Vegas (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• What To Expect When You're Expecting HD
• Whats Your Number (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• When The Game Stands Tall HD =MA
• When The Game Stands Tall SD =MA
• White House Down SD =MA
• Why Him? HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Widows HD =MA
• Wild Card HD Vudu
• Winchester HD Vudu/GP/iTunes
• the Witch SD Vudu
• the Wolf Of Wall Street HD Vudu (and 4K iTunes Split)
• the Wolfman (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Wolverine (iTunes Redeem) [SD?] =MA
• the Wolverine (unrated) HD =MA (must redeem on MA)
• the Woman In Black SD =MA
• Won't Back Down HD =MA
• Wonder HD (iTunes, Vudu Or GP)
• Woodlawn HD =MA
• Woodlawn (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• World War Z HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• X Men Apocalypse HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• X Men Days Of Future Past HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• X Men Days Of Future Past HD =MA
• X Men First Class (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• X Men Origins Wolverine (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• XXX: Return Of Xander Cage HD Vudu (or iTunes Split)
• Yesterday HD =MA
• Young Adult HD Vudu
• the Young Messiah (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Zero Dark Thirty HD =MA
• Zero Dark Thirty SD =MA
• Zootopia (googleplay) HD =MA

TV Series Marked
Vudu Only

• Nurse Jackie Season 6 HD Vudu
• Orange Is The New Black Season 1 SD Vudu
• True Detective Season 3 HD Vudu

ITUNES Only

• Game Of Thrones Season 1 HD iTunes Only
• Game Of Thrones Season 2 HD iTunes Only
• Game Of Thrones Season 3 HD iTunes Only
• Game Of Thrones Season 4 HD iTunes Only
• True Detective Season 3 HD iTunes Only

ITUNES Only MOVIES - No Port - Marked

• Abduction SD (iTunes)
• the Act Of Valor SD (iTunes)
• the Adventures of Tin Tin HD (iTunes)
• Alex Cross SD (iTunes)
• All Eyez On Me HD (iTunes)
• Annihilation HD (iTunes)
• Bankok Dangerous SD (iTunes)
• the Bank Job SD (iTunes)
• the Big Wedding HD (iTunes)
• Book Club 4K (iTunes)
• Brooklyn's Finest SD (iTunes)
• the Corrupted [2020] (iTunes)
• Criminal 4K (iTunes)
• Daybreakers SD (iTunes)
• the Dictator HD (iTunes)
• Divergent 4K (iTunes)
• Divergent Series: Allegiant 4K (iTunes)
• Divergent Series: Insurgent 4K (iTunes)
• Don Jon SD (iTunes)
• the Expendables [first movie] SD (iTunes)
• the Expendables 3 [unrated] HD (iTunes)
• Family Guy Its A Trap (iTunes)
• Forbidden Kingdom (iTunes)
• G.I.Joe The Rise Of The Cobra (iTunes)
• Gamer iTunes SD (iTunes)
• Ghost In The Shell 4K (iTunes)
• Gods Of Egypt 4K (iTunes)
• Hansel & Gretel [unrated] HD (iTunes)
• the Happytime Murders (apple Tv)
• the Haunting In Connecticut (iTunes)
• Hot Tub Time Machine SD (iTunes)
• House At The End Of The Street SD (iTunes)
• Hercules 4K (iTunes)
• Hot Tub Time Machine (iTunes)
• the Hunger Games [4k Itunes] or [GP-HD]
• the Hunger Games: Catching Fire [4k Itunes] or [HD GP]
• the Hunger Games: Mocking Jay Part 1 [4k Itunes] or [HD GP]
• I Feel Pretty (apple Tv)
• Jack Reacher 4K (iTunes)
• Jack Reacher: Never Go Back 4K (iTunes)
• John Wick 4K (iTunes)
• Immortals (iTunes)
• Interstellar 4K (iTunes)
• La La Land 4K (iTunes)
• Labor Day HD (iTunes)
• the Last Witch Hunter 4K (iTunes)
• Limitless (iTunes)
• the Lincoln Lawyer (iTunes)
• Machine Gun Preacher (iTunes)
• Mission Impossible: Fallout HD (iTunes)
• Monster Trucks HD (iTunes)
• Movie 43 (iTunes)
• Noah HD (iTunes)
• Office Christmas Party 4K (iTunes)
• One For The Money [Bluray] (iTunes)
• Pain & Gain HD (iTunes)
• Paranoia (iTunes)
• Paranormal Activity 2 HD (iTunes)
• Paranormal Activity 3 HD (iTunes)
• Paranormal Activity 4 HD (iTunes)
• Paranormal Activity 5: The Marked Ones HD (iTunes)
• Pet Sematary 2019 4K (iTunes)
• Pink Panther 2 (iTunes)
• the Raven SD (iTunes)
• Red Dawn SD (iTunes)
• Rogue Warfare HD (iTunes)
• Safehaven (iTunes)
• Same Kind Of Different As Me HD (iTunes)
• the Shack HD (iTunes)
• the Spirit SD (iTunes)
• Star Trek SD (iTunes)
• Star Wars: The Clone Wars SD (iTunes)
• Step Up Revolution (iTunes)
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (tmnt1) 4K (iTunes)
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Out Of The Shadows 4K (iTunes)
• Terminator: Dark Fate 4K (iTunes)
• Texas Chainsaw [2013] (iTunes)
• Titanic (iTunes)
• Transformers: Age Of Extinction 4K (iTunes)
• Transformers: Dark Of The Moon 4K (iTunes)
• Transformers: the Last Knight 4K (iTunes)
• Transporter 3 SD (iTunes)
• Warm Bodies SD (iTunes)
• What to Expect While Expecting SD (iTunes)
• Wonder 4K (iTunes)
• Xxx Return Of Xander Cage 4K (iTunes)

CANADIAN CODES: GOOGLE PLAY / ITUNES MARKED I do not know any of these port

• Black Water (GP) Can. (NOT MA)
• Hitman Agent 47 (GP/iTunes) Can.
• Kingsman: the Golden Circle (GP/iTunes) Can.
• the Wolverine (GP/iTunes) Can.

WANT LIST
Titles I am looking for

I just hope that people see this post, that they might start spreading the news before it’s too late. Something big is coming, something ancient, something older than any of us could have ever imagined. It might be too late. I don’t know what will become of me, of the people I love that I might never see again, by the time you are reading this. But I implore you to listen and take this story seriously, because it could save your life. Or not. I don’t know yet how deep this goes. If it’s true, if what I think is true…God help us. Nothing can save us now.
I’ll start at the beginning, because you need to understand how long this has been happening, and the implications of what is possible now that it’s getting worse. Over winter break, I went to visit my friend from high school, Jackson, in Vermont. He goes to Bennington College, studies Social Sciences with a minor in Linguistics. Smart guy. He used to write my papers for me in English class, and I would pay him back in six packs. That’s always how it was: him, studious and put together, and me itching to get outside. I was constantly on the move, biking through the forests behind my house, trail-running, building a treehouse for my little brothers, you name it. I wanted to get my hands dirty, get into nature. I guess that’s why I opted out of college, and went for camp counselor positions and summer gigs until I secured a conservation job with a park near home. Nature is important to me, and I want to do my part as the generation that has a responsibility to heal the world.
The outside was what called me to Bennington, aside from the fact that I missed my best buddy. I don’t remember when it was first brought to my attention, but I became aware of murmurings of Bennington’s rocky past online about a few months before I was set to visit Jackson. Being an experienced outdoorsman, I wasn’t afraid; on the contrary, I was rather excited to get out there and prove my worth to Jackson and his college buddies, who were far less athletic than I am. Looking back, I’m kicking myself for being so cocky. I can’t believe I ever thought of my best friend in that way.
From what I could see on the internet, Bennington College’s history was a long and often sinister one. There were videos about people vanishing into thin air: a girl wearing a red parka went for a hike alone and was never found, an experienced man leading an outdoor expedition disappeared in the woods, a woman fell into a stream, doubled back to the campsite to change her clothes, but never made it to the site, a man on a bus disappeared from the vehicle at a stop but left all of his luggage, a teenage boy was waiting in his mother’s truck and when she came back, he was mysteriously gone…I wish I could say these stories deterred me from poking my head somewhere where it didn’t belong.
Instead, I only grew more curious. What was going on in this so-called “Bennington Triangle?” I was in a unique position to investigate this phenomenon for myself. Many people hear about strange occurrences and the intrigue piques their interest, but they never have the chance to see it for themselves. But I could. I knew I could hold my own out in the wilderness—it was literally my job! Besides, I was a strong, slightly stubborn young man, built steadily, and I could protect myself well. What could possibly happen to me out in those woods, much less to a group of young college-aged men? The people who went missing most likely made one fatal mistake that cost them their lives, or maybe it was all just a big coincidence. Either way, I was about to find out for myself.
It was halfway through December when I left to meet up with Jackson. I got there on the last day of classes, and Jackson told me he would be busy until later in the day. I assumed he was cramming for a final, and I told him it was no big deal, I would meet up with him and maybe meet some of his buddies later. Besides, I had some plans of my own.
The most famous missing persons case in Bennington went cold, and is still unsolved to this day. The case is a tragic one, and I didn’t want to be insensitive by going around asking for information or throwing around names. Everything I needed, I found online. Paula Welden was the name of the girl in the red parka that went missing. Allegedly, she left campus one day to go on a hike by herself. She left the campus around 3pm and hitchhiked to an entrance to the Long Trail, a trail that runs for almost 300 miles from Massachusetts all the way to the Canadian Border. She wasn’t dressed to be outside for long, but as the story goes, she never made it back from the trail.
There was one sighting of her, however, that particularly interested me. A man reported that he had seen her running around, rather erratically, in the bottom of a gravel pit near the entrance to campus, and I wanted to see if there was anything left of the pit. Because I’m experienced with many different kinds of natural phenomena, I initially wondered if there wasn’t a natural explanation for her distressed behavior. I thought maybe there might be an insect nest or an infestation of small animals at the bottom of the pit that she might have disturbed, so I decided to check it out in my free time.
After the RA checked me in and I tossed my luggage into Jackson’s dorm, I packed a small backpack with essentials: water, sunscreen, energy bars, mini first aid kit, some rope, a utility tool, a flashlight, and a lightweight jacket. Then I headed out towards the pit.
The first thing I noticed was how much smaller the pit seemed. According to the eyewitness description of the incident, Paula was running up and down the side of a deep gravel pit, but what lay in front of me now was something much more shallow. I walked down into the center of what was left of the pit, but I could easily see over the edges. The small, dark fragments of rock crunched and ground together under my hiking boots, and the slowly sinking midday sun bounced off of the remnants of white snow around me. It was an unusually sunny day for winter, and the snow was, curiously, letting up for my visit. But the good luck for me ran out here—there seemed to be nothing to investigate at this location. My hopes of finding any evidence of insect or pest infestation that could have disturbed the girl were dashed, maybe buried several feet underground.
I lingered awhile, kicking at the bits of gravel in the small pit. I watched the small rocks scatter over the rest of the gravel, hitting up against the edge of the pit and rolling back down a few inches. I turned to go, but stopped. Maybe it was a trick of my eye, the sun reflecting harshly off of the snow and glinting in my sunglasses, causing me to not see clearly. I walked to the edge of the pit and kicked some more gravel at the side. The small rocks skipped across the uneven surface of the gravel pile, and scattered up the edge of the pit, farther than gravity should allow them to travel. I kicked more, and it happened again. My heart started beating faster.
I crouched down and picked up a small stone. I rolled it gently across the gravel, softly enough that it started to slow when it reached the incline of the side of the pit. I watched, astounded, as the rock slowly rolled uphill about a foot before coming to a stop. I gave a shout of excitement and jumped to my feet.
As I stood up straight I nearly fell back down. In an instant, my hearing seemed to go and I felt an overwhelming sense of claustrophobia. I spun around, thinking someone must be behind me, messing with me, but the sensation of closeness stayed pressing at my back. I spun around again, searching for an explanation. My head was fuzzy. I heard my footsteps, overwhelmingly loud, and I couldn’t hear anything else, almost as if my range of hearing was limited to my immediate surroundings. Like I was trapped in the pit. As soon as those words flashed through my head, the claustrophobia overwhelmed me, pushing up against the very air around my body. The silence built up inside my ears until all I could hear was my muffled footsteps, my desperate breathing, and the blood rushing faster and faster through my body.
I lunged for the edge, clambering up the side as fast as I could. Instantly upon passing over the edge the sounds of the late afternoon bore down on my ears. I stumbled and covered my ears, the chirping of the birds and rustling leaves almost too loud for me to bear.
It’s not that I was scared. Obviously, I was a little shaken up. As I hastened back towards Jackson’s dorm, I tried to rationalize what had just happened to me. Maybe I hadn’t drank enough water and I simply became dizzy. Maybe it was altitude sickness. Maybe a strange bug had bitten me and I temporarily lost my bearings. Nothing quite made sense. I tried to push it from my mind and focus on having a good first day, because soon I would be meeting Jackson’s college buddies.
When I got back to the dorm, Jackson was waiting for me. Fresh from the shower, his hair was damp and he was putting on a clean t-shirt. Pulling me into a hug, he expressed his excitement over my visit, asked me about my flight, what I thought about the campus—all the preliminary niceties. Internally, I breathed a sigh of relief. Even if he noticed, he didn’t pry and try to ask me about my slightly shaking hands, my pale face, or the vague disconnectedness with which I answered his questions.
That night eased my worries slightly. I ended up meeting Jackson’s group of friends and, together, we ventured into downtown Bennington. We hit a few bars and chilled at some of the many breweries in town. Live music, good company, and many, many beers did wonders on my nerves. By the end of the night, I had completely forgotten all about my encounter in the gravel pit. Jackson’s friends were nice guys, and I was too busy feeling proud about my best friend coming out of his shell in college. When he left, I had my doubts, but it was crystal clear that Jackson was really coming into himself at this school.
The festivities continued for the next few days: the guys were stoked to be done with their final exams and excited to connect with Jackson’s old friend, so we spent our time drinking and hanging out, bumping music and generally having a blast. It was almost enough for me to forget about one of the very reasons I was excited to be in Bennington in the first place.
It’s been a few days since that incident. I had even almost started to feel better about the whole thing. Maybe it was a mistake to poke around in old history, and maybe I should just focus on living my own life and fulfilling my own passions, working to heal nature as best as I can. But now Jackson and his friends want to go on a hike, and I’m starting to feel that same claustrophobia creeping back in. What the hell is out there, and why do I feel like I shouldn’t be messing with it?
Jackson chose the hike, not me. It was like him; he was the researcher, he was the one who looked at details, so he suggested we hike on the Long Trail. It intersected with the Appalachian Trail, and maybe I wasn’t paying attention when Jackson explained this to me, because it didn’t raise any alarms about the missing persons cases. Paula Welden went missing on the Long Trail, sure—but she wasn’t with a group of capable college guys like I was.
We packed some backpacks, crushed a beer or two for celebratory sakes, and set off on the trail. I let myself feel excited as we stomped through the trees, Jackson and his friends decked out in their matching red Bennington shirts from graduation. The hike was long. It was tedious. I don’t know when I first started noticing the weird aspects around us until about an hour in. The others didn’t pay any mind to these things, but I saw them: leaves drifting in the air with no breeze, snowflakes trapped in patches of sunlight, floating but unmoving, and that tree. It was a towering douglas fir, half-dead and reaching for the afternoon sun with bare branches. Each time I looked over my shoulder to check for hikers behind us or glanced ahead to see what awaited us, it was there. At first I assumed my eyes were playing tricks on me. After all, we had been hiking for a few hours.
Only when we stopped for a breather and Jackson pointed at a nearby stream did the weird things become too much for me. We were hiking on an incline, and we were exhausted, but when Jackson knelt beside this stream, it was flowing uphill. By then I was a little panicked. I freaked out, telling them that we needed to head back. Who cares if we hadn’t reached the halfway point yet? Was there even a halfway point? It felt like we had been walking for miles!
One of Jackson’s buddies opened up a map of the trail on his phone, and it was blank. He had service and bars, but the map was just…gone. Shocked with sudden fear, we immediately turned and headed back down the path. The sky darkened within minutes of us retracing our steps. Somehow, night was falling, despite us beginning the hike only a few hours prior. I tried to point it out, pulling Jackson aside when we slowed our pace to pass around a bottle of water. But Jackson was terrified and unfocused, and when I asked him what was wrong, we realized that one member of our five-person group was missing. How had we not noticed?
So, we made a U-turn and headed back up the mountain. Twenty minutes later, we found his torn university shirt. I turned the red fabric over in my hands, panicked and bewildered. When I looked up to scan our surroundings, I saw that same Douglas fir directly to my left. I was shocked, and the rest of the group must have noticed. We looked at each other and saw the panic rising on our faces. What the hell was happening?
I only had one goal at this point: we had to get down the mountain to call for help.
We decided to do our best to follow the trail on the way we came up, but only once daylight broke; it was difficult to make out the trail in the dark cover of the night, so I insisted it would be too dangerous. Someone could fall and get seriously injured, we could all get separated in the dark, or worse. So we did our best to hunker down and build a makeshift shelter to wait out the night, but it wasn’t easy. I can only describe the sounds we heard as otherworldly. Despite the lack of animals in the woods, nature seemed to be alive around us. The clicking of bugs kept me wide awake, but the noises were louder and deeper than I had ever heard. The baying of giant wolves, so close I imagined them coming up directly behind us. The snuffling of something in the underbrush, but from a cavernous creature larger than any moose could ever be.
Where had these animals been in the daytime? Why did it feel like they were surrounding us now?
I don’t know how I ever fell asleep, but when I awoke in the morning, the sun was beating down on us. From the sheen of sweat on my forehead to the dreadful pit in my stomach, I could tell something was horribly wrong.
When I scrambled to my feet and glanced around the area, I realized that only Jackson and I remained at our site. It was us, the clothes on our backs, and the demure amount of leftover supplies in our pockets: keys, gum wrappers, half-eaten power bars, and anything else that was ultimately unhelpful. We had been stranded on the forest floor, us against nature, as if something had swooped in from above and whisked Jackson’s friends under the pitch-black cover of the night.
I frantically took in our surroundings, peering into the bushes and pushing through thorny shrubbery. There were no tracks, no drag marks. Not even broken branches. I told Jackson we had to get out of there, and fast. I knew we needed to find the closest trailhead and book it down the mountain. Jackson ran so fast he nearly chipped a tooth on a steep hill. He was trying to keep up with me since I was faster by a long shot. All that sports stuff in high school paid off in the moment, so I almost felt bad leaving him in the dust. I called back over my shoulder to him every minute or so, making sure he was there.
He stuck with me for the most part. His t-shirt got torn by overhanging branches at one point, leaving a nasty scrape almost as red as the decimated fabric. I found myself struggling to remember if he was wearing that shirt to begin with, back when we started.
Then I decided I was losing it. It was like a fight against nature, Jackson and me against the blaring sun and sloping trail. Eventually, Jackson starts glaring menacingly at the passing scenery, cursing loudly and deliriously at everything surrounding us.
When we stumbled upon a trail marker, we barely had enough energy to celebrate. While we caught our breath, I tried to calm Jackson down. Something told me that cursing out Mother Nature wasn’t the best idea right now. Whatever was sicking the elements on us wouldn’t appreciate the nasty things he was saying about them. But he was terrified, and nothing I said could slap any reason into him. I had to lead us to safety, get us out of here.
Suddenly, I heard a sound in the distance. But unlike everything else we had heard so far, this one was man made. Jackson heard it too, and started yelling about a helicopter. He made a break off to the left, towards the sound, and I bolted after him. Somehow, he burst out into a tiny clearing.
Ripping off his red Bennington shirt, he started calling out and waving it in the air like a rescue flag. He jumped and shouted, but as the helicopter got closer, the unbelievable happened. The clearing started shrinking, tree branches reaching from either side to close the gap and obscure us from the view of the pilot. Jackson screamed in fury, cursing the forest like never before.
Then the chopper must have been lowering down towards the treelike because the wind picked up, blowing in circles around us like the blades were inches from our heads, faster and faster, more violent by the second.
The brush beneath our feet blew up in the air along with the topsoil and dead leaves, obscuring our vision. We could hear each other gasping for breath, trying to keep the debris out of our eyes and coughing. I flung my arms out into the space around me, calling for my best friend and reaching out for his hands. But then I felt something shift. The decaying leaves around me smelled stronger. The wind became more vicious. The earth trembled beneath my feet, and I thought I felt something looming above me, breathing down my neck but also looking straight into my unseeing eyes.
Then it clicked. Jackson's red shirt, the gravel pit, Paula's erratic behavior, the other missing hikers...something was picking these people off, luring them deeper into the woods where they were sure to never be seen again. Did the color red cause whatever it was to literally see red, like a sick, twisted joke? Like a giant bull in front of a matador? What kind of creature could it be? Such a stealthy hunter, a commanding presence that made man tremble at the sensation of its mere aura...I couldn't even think about it without snapping my mind.
Before the flurry of leaves and moist earth settled back onto the ground, I knew Jackson was gone. I knew the chopper hadn’t seen us and that I was on my own now. I tried not to panic as I felt like every hidden eye in the forest was staring me down, sizing me up. I took off blindly, but where to, I didn’t know. After what seemed like hours of desperately sprinting, I saw a pile of rocks in the distance. Shelter, I thought, and decided to rest there for a minute to get my wits back about me.
Then I had an idea. With what little juice I had in my phone and whatever cell service luck would afford me, I knew I had to send out a warning. For some reason, I didn’t think about myself. I didn’t think about dying, disappearing, or whatever had happened to my friends. If the nature around me would be the thing to end my life, so be it. I had decided to dedicate my life to nature long ago: to save it from my fellow man, to preserve its beauty, and to keep it out of the wrong hands, the people that wanted to use its power for evil and to bring about the harm of those around them. I know it sounds ridiculous to be thinking about when my life was at stake, but I knew it was what I needed to do.
From my makeshift hiding spot in the rocks, I began furiously typing my story with what little battery I had left on my phone. When my hands started cramping, I used the voice option. I didn’t care. I just had to get my story out there.
For an hour , I’d been trying to put it all down in words. I couldn't believe my luck, that my battery hadn’t run out yet.
I had almost gone to the end when I felt the same creeping silence begin to close in on me. It was as if the forest was falling silent around me, and that silence was racing in on all sides, but it was different from when I was in the gravel pit. There was more to the sensation this time, not just the sinking, breathless feeling and the loss of hearing.
Somewhere deep within the forest, but at the same time, only miles away, I heard an awful rumbling sound, something I’ve never heard before. Nothing like the helicopter, not even the giant animals I was convinced I had heard in the night. I can't even think of a word to describe it, but it filled me with a frantic kind of dread that I’ve never felt before. I feel it in the ground. My entire body wants to run as fast as I can, but it’s like I’m glued to the ground. I taste metal in my mouth like maybe I bit my cheek or the dirt from the wind or I bit on a rock, I spit and I can’t get it out. I’m going to open an app and copy and paste it so people can know while I still can type I’m shaking so hard they have to know.
And the smell I’m smelling it’s like fruit that’s gone ripe, but it keeps getting more ripe, a sickly sweetness that keeps building mixed with the smell of the richest earth imaginable.
This is happening now, I’m smelling this now and It’s it’s like I’m trapped under the shadow of some thing bigger something that’s taking the shadow away from the trees and I can’t see the shadow of the trees anymore and the ground around me is trembling. It’s like I can hear the trees calling out to whatever it is, that’s walking towards me or flying I can’t tell, everything is stretching and growing out towards me. No behind me above me something is coming. I’m I feel better right I feel better than I have in days or however long I’ve been out here I’m not thirsty anymore. I’m not hungry anymore. I feel fuller stronger smarter. My mind is overloading. I’m thinking of 1 million things like I don’t know if I can speak anymore it’s like, it’s like I’m fruit like I’m a ripening on the vine and this giant wings beating above me and the smell is too much I