Im 18 and he was 69. He died in his sleep Wednesday night. I found out last night during my final exams. I’m devastated. I had hoped to have more years with him. I can’t stop crying and there’s this sick emptiness in his stomach. I’m going over to his place to clean some stuff with my mom , uncle and my moms friend.
He made me a bag and he was repairing it at the time. I was going to visit him today. I’m so happy I wasn’t the one who found him. I’m so sad I miss him already I keep texting his number. I hope he knew I loved him and I miss him so much already. It’s so unreal I can’t believe he’s dead. I just wanted a few more years with my daddy but he’s gone. I’m happy he got to go to my graduation and 18th birthday before he died. He died. It feels so weird saying that. He’s dead. I’m never going to speak with him again. Or show him my exam results. We had planned to go on holidays this summer to visit my half siblings in Canada go camping etc I’m so sad I was so looking forward to spending that time with him. Now my half siblings are coming here to help arrange the funeral or assess whatever. I’ve set his face as my wallpaper and I keep texting him. At least when my grandmother died I knew she was sick.
I knew she was going to die but this was so sudden. He was found. The police called. My mom told me. The police came. They say he was in bed with the duvet over him so hopefully that means his death was peaceful. I hope he died without even knowing it. He had heart attacks before even during my infancy he was recovering from a massive heart attack. He smoked like a train but he was trying to cut down. His breathing was tough and had a cough he went for a chest scan. Maybe if the results came back sooner he’d still be alive. My daddy would be here. Maybe if I visited him on Wednesday I could’ve seen something and saved him.
My last message to me was telling me he was confident I’ll do well with a minion clapping gif.
I’m so devastated. I’ll never see my daddy again I don’t know what to do. I miss my daddy so much already. He had a son who died as an infant and a brother who died of an overdose. I just hope he’s with them and one day I can be too. I can’t believe this has happened. Daddy why didn’t you wait for me to see you one last time. I never got to say goodbye or I love you properly. Last time I saw him we had a mini fight but we made up. The morning I left his apartment I sat in his lap for a while and hugged him. I don’t know the last time I told him I loved him but I hope he knew I did very much.

I'd like to make simple wireframe graphics, and approaches I saw so far don't work. To see example of wireframe graphics I'd like to achieve, look up the original Elite . Approaches that I saw make wireframes that are see through, so you see lines that are at the back of the model. One approach people say should work is shader with barymetric coordinates, which I think were only added with godot 4. One more approach that maybe could work is some people mention exporting in Blender the model with "wireframe modifier". However, I don't have Blender, and kinda don't want to download it just for this feature. So, here's my idea:
Could I paint the texture of the object black except for near the edges? In this way, you will see only thick lines where the edges of the model are. However, trying to paint textures this way result in very jagged or distorted sides of the model, like you glued to it a bunch of pixelated pictures. I'm using Blockbench to edit textures and UVs. https://i.redd.it/cuv7q65fdu4b1.png How can I fix this? And how can I do this programmatically in Godot having only the model? Is there a way to paint textures in engine such that they hug only the edges, and are straight, and all have equal widths, visually?
EDIT: I wrote all that, and got a wonderful idea, and it worked. Now I'll describe how to achieve the wireframe look that I wanted.
First, here's the code that I got from the internet (and I don't quite understand well enough because I'm new to 3d graphics)

func make_wire(): var mesh_node = get_node("MeshInstance") var mesh_mat = mesh_node.get_surface_material(0) var array = mesh_node.mesh.surface_get_arrays(0) mesh_node.mesh = ArrayMesh.new() mesh_node.mesh.add_surface_from_arrays(Mesh.PRIMITIVE_LINES, array) mesh_node.set_surface_material(0, mesh_mat) 

This achieves the see-through wireframe effect for MeshInstance. You have to call it once in _ready(). However, you then see the back of the model as I said. The solution is simple: put a smaller copy of the same MeshInstance inside the MeshInstance! Scale it down to be 0.99 of the original, and color it black (or whatever color is the background, like in Elite Frontier 2 it's light blue I think). Examples of how it looks: https://i.redd.it/eq4p8vwshu4b1.png https://i.redd.it/3u937ffzhu4b1.png

Good day/night, i hope you are doing well and are enjoying today!
I am Rez for short or Rezerer in full and usually go by those online. I will give out my real name once we talk some more and get to know eachother.
Games i like and play:
I am a huge fan of games, especially the ones like Stardew valley, Sun haven, Minecraft, Terraria, Overcooked (and i desperately want to play it takes two) There are many others i play and like, for instance: League of legends, Valorant, Gears of war, Total war series and many many more.
Other interests:
Besides games i work full time, i can cook and have done so in the past for myself and my parents/siblings. Not too long ago i started reading the entries and extensive archive of the SCP'S and the SCP foundation, so if you know about them or read them that would be huge! I play DnD (dungeons and dragons) with a group every other Saturday, we get together physically to play the game too. Other interests are mixed, i like to talk about the workings of everyday things like how the world keeps turning. What gravity is and how it works, what came first the egg or the chicken. Science facts are always interesting in my opinion and i like to have conversations about a wide variety of topics. However i usually am a shy person so i might have trouble just talking about those things at first.
My appearance:
I don't really share pictures for everyone. If i feel we click i will send a picture for sure so don't worry :) I am a 6"4' or 195cm tall guy, i have mostly grey eyes but sometimes in the right light there can be a green or brown shade too. I have brown hair, usually also a beard but i cut it recently. I can pictures both before and after cutting my beard. I am healthy and maybe on the heavy side, but you know food just is too tasty 😋
Preferences / What i am looking for:
I am looking for a girl who loves to play games and ideally the same ones as me but that's not a necessity. Looks wise i don't have a preference, i do look past the cover to see who is behind it. I really enjoy a person's personality, i have never felt repulsed or otherwise had a negative feeling from looks. <3 I really like to spend time together online, playing games, watching a movie, doing our own thing while in a vc, i really enjoy all of those. I can be clingy, so be prepared for a decent amount of messages daily. I love to send gifs and other messages about hugging and cuddling so you must be okay with that. Last but not least i want us to build something rather genuine, trusting one another and supporting each other. Communicating is very important for me and i hope it is for you too.
Extra:
I still live with my parents but i am saving up for my own place, if needed i can move out in a short amount of time. I am a virgin, however i have done sexting with my ex before. In the future i would love to have kids with my partner, at least 1 kid but i don't mind more.
Ending:
Have you seen anything that interests you do you want to talk more feel free to dm me! If you are shy too you can always start with an answer to this question: what would an ideal evening with your partner look like?
You can always contact me on discord too Rezerer200#6268

Grateful for this community.
TL:DR Love yourself for feeling guilty because your heart is true enough to know when it is misaligned. Love yourself for feeling shame because your conscious is true enough to know when your actions are misaligned. These are great feelings to have - without them we would continue to do the same thing over and over with no intent to change.
Full Length:
I recently made it about 5 weeks before relapsing (I'm about 4 days porn free now). I got close to relapsing a couple times today, but remained strong.I am in counseling right now for this, and will share with my counselor at our next appointment.
What started out as just looking for risque photos on instagram and subbing to "SFW" forums here on reddit slowly turned more and more NSFW until I was eventually watching porn. I would look at subs that weren't exclusively porn, but would have the occasional explicit image/gif and I would scroll past, but I mean... come on. What did I expect? I knew what I was doing.
Once I started justifying it a little bit, the boundary became less and less clear. This lasted about a week until suddenly I was back to scrolling on my phone for 2-3 hours at a time, and although not looking at full on porn at first, it was basically the same thing and it was having the same detrimental impact on my life. I knew it was inconsistent with my goals and my recovery but I did it anyways and I didn't want to admit it. I could hear the internal battle the whole time. One voice saying, "Dude. why are you doing this? You're lying to yourself and you know where this road is going to lead you." and another voice saying, "just a little more. It's fine. This isn't ACTUALLY porn. So what if something slips by, you're not intentionally looking for it. It doesn't count"
Yeah... until I gave in and did a search for one of my old favorite accounts. I scrolled through a few clips, watched one for about 10 seconds, took a deep breathe and said, "ok. back to day zero. Let's start again." I came back to this sub, sent a message to someone who had reached out previously to be available for support, re-read my original post, and began cleaning up my feed again.
One thing I do want to note, and for me this IS really important, is that even though I relapsed, I did not masturbate to porn. I feel like this made owning up and starting at day zero again easier for me.
The other thing I want to share with ya'll, and this is especially for anyone who finds themselves relapsing continuously (I have relapsed about 4 times over the past couple years), is be kind to yourself. This is about loving yourself and taking care of yourself; rehabbing your behaviors and patterns. You cannot punish yourself into self love. Victimizing yourself about your shame and guilt are roads that lead back to porn. I'm not saying you're not allowed to feel shame and guilt - in fact its the opposite. Allow yourself TO feel the shame and guilt, and feel it FULLY. Healing comes from moving THROUGH the pain, not avoiding it.
Take a breath, light a candle, cry into a pillow, take a drive, hug your cat, journal it out - there's no right way to do it besides letting your guard down with yourself and allowing the sadness in instead of avoiding it. It's typical for me to get so wrapped up in my own shame and guilt, that I forget that I'm much more than a system of thoughts, emotions, and actions; that there's actually a consciousness within (outside of?) me that is not directly attached to any of that, and has the ability to experience it all, free from the prison of identifying as the experience. Its not that we are victim to this shame, guilt, or whatever it is that drives us to porn, we are humans having a human experience. We're literally sacks of flesh, fat, and meat with electricity and somehow an entire identity gets formed and consciousness arises. There's bound to be some flaws and some short circuits here and there, so take it easy on yourself.
Porn releases a TON of dopamine that literally rewires our sack of flesh, meat and fat. Without introducing something that releases that same level of dopamine (not recommended, you'll just be fighting a different addiction), it takes a lot of time and effort to rewire those connections. Its like trying to reconnect hoses without turning the water off.
Love yourself for feeling guilty because your heart is true enough to know when it is misaligned. Love yourself for feeling shame because your conscious is true enough to know when your actions are misaligned. These are great feelings to have - without them we would continue to do the same thing over and over with no intent to change.
Happy to be back at day 4, much love everyone.

You know, this gif reminds me of cas, cause she isn't here and you're there for me 🥰🥰🥰
lil context: She used the teddy bear emoji and the gif I sent is basically just someone hugging a giant teddy bear

I am actually expecting a lot backlash for this since the majority of the fandom loves the twist lol

Part I: Characters

I.a Sunny
Sunny is the main characters, we spend a good portion of the game exploring his dreams, and even the real world is explored through his perspective.
Sunny tends to dissociate, even before Maris death, as is evident by the excerpt found in the lost library:

"This year, ☐ was lucky enough to get assigned to a desk next to the small window."
"Every day during class, ☐ would gaze listlessly through the opening... at the shadows of the trees, the clouds creeping overhead."
"His mind drifted elsewhere... into his own worlds, his own stories, his own adventures."
"He had a habit of doing this.It was easy for him to get lost."
"Today was the same as any other. ☐ stared vacantly out the small window as the clouds passed one by one."
"Suddenly, a hand playfully slaps his back, snapping him out of his reverie. ☐ looks away from the opening."
"☐☐☐ smiles. He motions that class is over and that it's finally time for lunch. It's pizza day today, and theyneed to bolt to the cafeteria before it's all gone."
"☐'s stomach growls. He looks at the small window one last time."
"He would have to continue his adventure another day."

The dissociative tendencies are very clear, described as his mind being elsewhere.
However, the excerpt also shows off another key-trait: Imagination.
Sunny has extraordinately vivid imagination, as displayed by the entirety of Head Space, as well as his liking of imagining himself and his friends going on adventures, even in the real world, as well as both before and Maris death.
The situation described by the Lost Library is pretty much identical with the real world event involving fighting the recycultists.
One more important, but less dicussed point, is his excellent memory. Sunny can recall the correct order of Basils photographs without failure, even after 4 years of staying inside.
And speaking of the album, he can also accurately recreate their content in Head Space, shown by the HS version containing pretty much the exact same content as the real one, just with the aesthetics adjusted to Head Space. Furthermore, the scribbled out version found in Black Space are 100% identical with the reeal ones, just blacked out with marker.
Considering this, I'd say good memory is an understatement.
I'd go as far as attributing him with Photographic Memory.
But despite this, Sunny forgot something, 4 years ago he repressed something.
And he is aware of this. Dialogue from various HS characters allude to this, and urge him to try and remember:
Stranger:

STRANGER
The truth that you've locked away... You must find it no matter what.
STRANGER
You have to... for the both of us.

Faceless:

FACELESS
Even if you hide something, it will always be there.

Bullet points for Sunny: Prone to dissociation; extremely vivid imagination; amazing memory; knows he forgot something and believes he can recover it
​
I.b Basil
Basil is a very controversial character, receiving a lot of hate, but also a lot of love.
Basil-haters often attribute him with traits such as 'obsessive' or 'manipulative', even though none of these are accurate on closer inspection.
I'll just list of a few of his traits, which will be highly relevant for the crux of this theory, though just indirectly.
- Basil has abandonment-issues. These are repeatedly displyed by franctic pleas for someone to not leave him.
- Basils view of other characters are mostly based on idealization. It is seen through assgining flowers with highly positive meanings to his friends, while ignoring any negatives they might hold.
Furthermore, this behaviour is very prominent in his complete refusal to accept what Sunny had done.
- Basil is also deeply troubled, with latent suicidal ideation and tendencies. The by and large biggest red flag is encountered on '3 Days left', where he says this to Sunny...

BASIL
It's nice to see that you're still around...even if it's only for a little while.
BASIL
Here. Take my PHOTO ALBUM... I want you to have it.

...Basil acts like he is saying goodbye to Sunny, and hands off his most precious sentimental belonging...
...Despite not even knowing that Sunny is moving away.
​
- Basil is highly emotional. He displays extreme emotional reactions when put under pressure or faced with emotional hurt.
The previously mentioned instance of learning of Sunny moves triggers him to run to the bathroom, where he has a mental breakdown.
Judging by dialogue like...

POLLY
BASIL's been going to the bathroom a lot lately. I hope it's not my food...

...and...

AUBREY
And when we got to his room, I tried to talk to him... but he said he had to go to the bathroom and ran off.

...this seems to be his go-to coping-mechanism to deal with stress, and doesn't even seem to be limited to interactions with Sunny.
Furthermore, at the lake-scene, Basil hysterically screams for help, despite the hooligans actively attempting to calm him down, not at all acting hostile towards him.
- Although rare, there is at least one instance of him acting extremely angry, particularily the scene before his boss-fight, and he seems to have huge trouble to contain his anger, actually having to resort to delusional behaviour to quell it.
- Basil displays severe dissociative and psychotic (hallucinations and delusions) symptoms. The dissociation in particular is shown in what appears to be fuzzy memory:

BASIL
A lot has happened since these pictures were taken.Sometimes, it feels like it was all a bad dream.
BASIL
It's hard to remember now, but... I think... at the time...I took photos of what I was most afraid to lose.

Additionally, certain dialogue alludes to severe psychological issues being present prior to joining the friend-group:
Processing img s4afsed5ef3b1...
From the points listed above, the only one I consider to be debatable is the anger-issue. However, the other 5 traits are genuine canon.
Processing img q8mx1difef3b1...
Great, so now we have established for Basil to canonically suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder.

II Plot

II.a Sunnys case

Does Basil have his own White Space and Black Space?
OMOCAT:
The idea of the White Space is based on the ability of some people to completely isolate themselves when a traumatic happens. They isolate their mind and travel through the White Space to relieve their memories. From my personal experience, not everyone it able to do it. If Basil would have had his own White Space it would've been full of disturbing imagery, and, unlike Sunny's, it wouldn't be static but really dynamic with a lot of fast changes. Therefore I don't think Basil would be able to escape his own mind like Sunny does. And that's why his problems manifest in the real world. After all, something exists because of Basil’s idea that it exists in the first place.

Source: OMOCAT interview from Cydonia streaming translated in english : OMORI (reddit.com)
Pay close attention to the part that I highlighted.
OMOCAT openly states that Something exists for the simple reason that Basils believes it to exist to begin with. But if Somethings existence is based on Basils belief, then this raises the question why Sunny can see it, too.
I believe that this cutscene is the answer:
​
Processing gif 5q8azvo6jf3b1...
It seems to me that Sunny only began to be haunted by his Something due to this conversation, in which Basil asks Sunny to remember Something while simultaniously already suggesting what Sunny is supposed to remember.
Essentially, Sunny sees Something because of Basils suggestion of it existing to begin with.
This sets an interesting precedent of Basil unintentionally influencing Sunnys psyche by merely asking a suggestive question.
Another thing to note that this is just a short snippet of this conversation, and that there are more black-and-white cutscenes that display different parts of this particular encounter.
Another one is this:
​
Processing gif 83ofu1h8sf3b1...
This is clearly the first creation of White Space, right?
Wrong.
You see, there are certain special characters explaining the lore of Head Space, one of them being Daddy Longlegs.
He actually has dialogue explaining the creation of Head Space:

DADDY LONGLEGS
You have reached the end of the LOST FOREST... but the beginning of the truth.
DADDY LONGLEGS
I will tell you a story that has been lost through time... a story about the creation of this reality.
DADDY LONGLEGS
In the beginning, there only existed two... the DREAMER and his room.
DADDY LONGLEGS
The DREAMER grew weary of his room and created a door that led to many different worlds.
DADDY LONGLEGS
Walking the path as a visitor to these worlds, the DREAMER would come and go as he pleased.
DADDY LONGLEGS
Slips and falls, tumbles and drops... the DREAMER's curiosity and clumsy exploration eventually led him to a certain world.
DADDY LONGLEGS
One not like the others... one painted with chaos and bathed in darkness.
DADDY LONGLEGS
The DREAMER slowly became filled with dread. Quiet as they may have been, words of malice quietly crept into his mind. Whispering lies, secrets, and truths.

The 'DREAMER and his room...' clearly refers to Sunnys White Space.
Meanwhile, the world 'painted with chaos and bathed in darkness' very clearly refers to Black Space.
This means, according to Daddy Longlegs, that White Space existed way before Black Space. Furthermore, he states that only after Sunnys first encounter with Black Space did he 'slowly became filled with dread', which seems to imply that Sunnys most severe issues started at a later point in time than the creation of White Space.
Now, since White Space already existed prior to Black Space, this creates a problem:
As stated by OMOCAT, White Space exists to provide relief of memory - meaning that Sunny had already repressed memories at this point.
However, if we assume the cause of supression to be 'the truth' about Maris death, both Something and Black Space, and the Black Lightbulb should have already been a thing from the very beginning.
However, this is not the case. The black door as well as the lightbulb make their first appearence in this cutscene.
What this implies to me is that, just like Something, Black Space was created due to suggestions Basil made in this conversation, and subsequently the Black Lightbulb was created to supress Black Space.
In fact, Black Space can be further linked to being the product an external source:
Processing img sjtem9akhg3b1...
White Egret Orchids, at least in this game, represemt the phrase: 'My thoughts will follow you into your dreams.'
Furthemore, Black Space in general is strongly linked to Basil, both due to the overwhelming presence of Stranger as well the fact that it is always Basil that will find the path to 'the truth'.
​
This entire dynamic is very interesting.
Appearantly, there was a period of time in which Sunny was completely free of the influence of both Black Space,'the truth' it contains, and Something.
This might sound crazy, but this seems to imply that all three of Black Space, 'the truth' and Something can be traced back to this conversation, but not any further.
This becomes even clearer when you line up the three cut-scenes in the order they appear in the game:
​
Processing video aed5qnn9ov3b1...
​
The implication here is that this conversation is what triggered Sunnys Hikkikomori-lifestyle and caused a sharp shift in Sunnys behaviour.
This may be hard to accept, but what is being implied here is that this is the starting point of Sunnys 4 years of agony.
This is extremely weird, since 'the truth' about Maris death is supposed to be the source of his suffering, yet it started only about a few months after her death.
Why did Sunny only become haunted by 'the truth' after this point?
It can't be explained by repression either since a) the Black Lightbulb is required to repress it and b) the Black Lightbulb is what caused his Hikkikomorism to begin with, yet Sunny is stated to have gone to school up until this point and was actually willing to let others reach out to him.
This is a stark contrast to his behaviour after this conversation.
​
The only answer that makes sense is the following: 'The truth' simply didn't exist up until this point, not even in a repressed form.
This scene depicts the literal creation of 'the truth'.
'The truth' in it's entirety is an idea that Basil put into Sunnys head.

BRANCH CORAL
A hanging black light bulb... the repression of an idea.

It is openly stated that the Black Lightbulb is not the repression of a memory - that is White Spaces purpose - but in fact the repression of an idea.
Additionally, there actually is dialogue hinting at the replacement and subsequent repression of memories:

BLANK Your memories are not free. To gain a memory, another must be shrouded. And yet... All memories will eventually fade.

What I propose is the following: Basil wanted to talk to Sunny about 'the truth'. Now, the problem is that Sunny had already repressed the memories of Maris true death - suicide.
So, when Basil realizes that Sunny doesn't remember... he fills him in, similar to how he recounts the events of Maris death prior to his boss fight.
This is also the reason for the photo at the treehouse: Since Basil believes that Sunny had already 'forgotten' the truth at least once before, he decides to leave him a physical reminder - a photo and the key to the toy-chest.
This is supported by the 'Don't forget... it's in the toy-chest'-message - there is no reason to write a message urging Sunny not to forget about it unless Basil has a reason to believe Sunny might forget about it to begin with.
Now, Sunnys got a huge problem - since he already had repressed his memory at this point he had no way of falsifying Basils account. And since he trusts Basil, he makes the wrong choice and believes him.
Subsequently, this triggers the creation of both Something and Black Space.

Quiet as they may have been, words of malice quietly crept into his mind. Whispering lies, secrets, and truths.

This is referring to Basils words during this conversation.
Even though Sunny tried to repress them, the only thing he achieved is pushing them to his subconscious - where they then rampaged rampaged and grew in strength over the next 4 years.
In essence, this constitutes a case of both False Memories and Shared Delusional Disorder.
​
And it makes sense. You remember the characterization of Sunny at the beginning of this post?
Well, check this out:

Greater creative imagination and dissociation are known to relate to false memory formation. Creative imagination may lead to vivid details of imagined events. High dissociation may be associated with habitual use of lax response criteria for source decisions due to frequent interruption of attention or consciousness. Social desirability and false memory have also been examined. Social desirability effects may depend on the level of perceived social pressure.
Individuals who feel under greater social pressure may be more likely to acquiesce. Perceived pressure from an authority figure may lower individuals' criteria for accepting a false event as true. The new individual difference factors include preexisting beliefs about memory, self-evaluation of one's own memory abilities, trauma symptoms, and attachment styles. Regarding the first of these, metamemory beliefs about the malleability of memory, the nature of trauma memory, and the recoverability of lost memory may influence willingness to accept vague impressions or fragmentary images as recovered memories and thus, might affect the likelihood of accepting false memory. For example, if someone believes that memory once encoded is permanent, and that visualization is an effective way to recover memories, the individual may endorse more liberal criteria for accepting a mental image as true memory. Also, individuals who report themselves as having better everyday memories may feel more compelled to come up with a memory when asked to do so. This may lead to more liberal criteria, making these individuals more susceptible to false memory.
There is some research that shows individual differences in false memory susceptibility are not always large (even on variables that have previously shown differences—such as creative imagination or dissociation), that there appears to be no false memory trait, and that even those who have highly superior memory are susceptible to false memories.

How convenient. This is literally Sunny. Sunny displays all of these traits.
Sunny is morbidly predispositioned to aquire False Memories, especially due to his great trust in Basil, his best friend.
Additionally, 'recovering repressed memories' is notorious for confabulating False Memories:

However, when memories are "recovered" after long periods of amnesia, particularly when extraordinary means were used to secure the recovery of memory, it is now widely (but not universally) accepted that the memories have a high likelihood of being false, i.e. "memories" of incidents that had not actually occurred.

And there actually are fairly strong hints that can be interpreted as Sunnys recovered memories being memories that were imagined at Basils suggestion:
​
Processing img 6whr115l7n3b1...
Processing img 13x2utk98n3b1...
A basic, common yet effective technique to determine memories as either dreams or imagined events is to look for inconsistencies, either with reality or among the memories in question.
And there are several inconsistencies to be found in those photos.
The problem with this procedure though is that such inconsistencies can be dismissed as simple oversights on the developers side, meaning that this is 100% percent dependent on ones willingness to interpret them either as inconsistencies or a developers oversight.
But for the purpose of this theory I'll continue under the former assumption.
And these are the inconsistencies I found:
​
Processing img vdlj795han3b1...
Truth Photo: Only lower level has vine-pattern, no table bellow the window, hanging photos (Note: The table bellow the window is actually gone in RW present time, but in the past there was one.)
Real World: Both levels have vine-pattern, table beneath the window, photos are on a sideboard.
​
Processing img m6az3bavbn3b1...
Processing img j1l9myucjn3b1...
​
Processing img 8vh1lqzcpn3b1...
Well... no. In reality, it is a sliding door:
​
Processing img 0otxujv6rn3b1...
​
Processing img lfq7am4wzs3b1...
Left photo: Left tree has no branch, right one has one on it's right side.
Right photo: Left tree has one branch on it's right side, right one has none.
​
Processing img aum9y3531t3b1...
Judging by the position of the sun in the photos, the incident is supposed to happen close to sundown.
However, this images shading implies nighttime.
Additionally, Aubrey mentions that Mari was found in the evening. And actually, the neighbours were home.
Or, at least Hero. Hero actually states that he was home in the afternoon of that day.
It is not unreasonable to say that if Hero was home, he would have somehow been alerted of what was hapenning: A crash, a scream, or simply looking out the window to see Sunny and Basil carry a dead Mari.
You know what have not been suspicious at all? Mari, walking across her own backyard towards the tree.
Processing img y16y8reu2t3b1...
​
Processing img j93z2beq6t3b1...
Left: Mari faces away from Basil.
Right: Suddenly, Mari does face towards Basil.
​
As you can see, there are quite a few inconsistencies that can be found in those photos.
​
II.b Basils Case
But up until this point, the only thing I've argued for is that Sunny memory is based on Basils account, and not that the incident in it's entire actually never happened to begin with.
​
Well, let us look at the following question: How realistic, or even feasably possible is 'the truth'?
The answer: Not at all.
​
You see... there is a standard procedure by authorities for suicide-cases.
One, the deceased has the to be officially pronounced dead - and for this, either a doctor or a paramedic is necessary.
The problem is that Mari supposedly fell down the stairs. There absolutely have to be at least bruises. And, in fact, the notesheets that Mari carried while falling are noted to be blood-stained. There also was blood.
The paramedic would find unexplained physical trauma and blood. At this point, they would be required to notify investigative authorities and alert them to evidence of foul play.
Two, in cases of a suicide without a suicide-note, a standard-investigation is carried out, including an obducation.
This procedure is mandatory, and cannot be vetoed even by close relatives.
And even if the investigations would yield no results, this case is more likely to be considered an unsolved homicide rather than a suicide.
​
There's also the matter of physical feasability. Can Sunny and Basil even pull this off...?
Not really.
There's 2 scenarios for this incident. Case I: Basil did it alone and Case II Sunny and Basil did it together.
Case I: Complete nonsense. Basil cannot pull this off.
He's 12 and Mari is 16 and significantly heavier. He's too weak.
The game actually comments on Basils strength, or more percisely his lack of exactly that:

BASIL ... OMORI... You're so heavy...
BASIL Come on... Up the stairs you go...
BASIL Phew... Thank goodness you're awake.
BASIL Are you hurt at all? I was trying to pull you toward this white light at the top of the staircase...

Key word being 'trying'.
This is the scene in question:
Processing img vbf5agr23v3b1...
As you can see, Omori is still lying at the bottom of the stairs. This means Basil didn't even manage to drag him a single step upwards.
Basil completely and utterly failed to even move another 12-yevar-old.
There is no way he can even remotely exert the force necessary to do that to Mari.
​
Case II: Sunny and Basil did it together.
I will concede that if they sling the rope around the branch, and then both of them at once oull at the rope, then they actually can get her to the necessary height.
The problem is the following though:
If they follow this procedure, they still have to fix the rope to the branch.
To do that, one of them has to let go of the rope, scale the tree and then tie the knot.
Now consider this: The setup essentially functions like a ⚖️:
Whatever is heavier at either end of the rope will remain on the ground.
Sunny and Basil together are heavier than Mari.
Either of them alone isn't.
As soon as either lets go of the rope, Mari will plummet, while the other 12-year-old will be lifted of the ground.
Another problem is scaling the tree. Sunny is afraid of heights, to the point that even the staircase is a serious obstacle.
Here's a visiualization of the necessary heights:
Processing img fcjjnly56v3b1...
Height of the branch: ~ Maris height x 1.666
Height of the noose: ~ Maris height x 1.2
​
Lowballing Maris height to the average 1.60m will lead to the following results:
Height of the branch: ~ 2.65m
Height of the noose: 1.92m
​
You can see that 2.65m is pretty high up.
In Basils case, it is actually implied that he is a bad climber due to a fear of height as well:

(5/25):
It's been pretty busy with school lately, but we finally made time to get together and go to the park today. Here's KEL hanging his legs off a tree. He's such a good climber! I wish I was as fearless as him.

This already constitutes a huge problem.
The alternative option is that they first tie the rope to the branch, and only then put Maris head through the noose.
The problem is the height of the noose. They'd have to lift Maris head ~ 1.90m of the ground.
This is problematic, since Mari is dead and thus her body acts like a limp noodle. They'd have to lift her by the head to avoid her body or head slumping over, and this creates a problem of reach.
Mind you that this is a situation in which even an adult would struggle to lift a person of comparable stature to this height.
Can two 12-year-old-boys, who are in a clear state of shock pull this off?
I highly doubt that.
And if we are to assume the scrapped descriptions of the album as a basis, then the case is already clear:
It is impossible, since all problems regarding Case II apply even more glringly to Case I.
​
Now, that still leaves the question on why Basil genuinly believes in this False Memory.
Well, we have talked about Basil and BPD, haven't we?
Well take a look at this:

This paper presents an analysis of dream-reality confusion (DRC) in relation to the characteristics of borderline personality disorder (BPD), based on research findings and theoretical considerations. It is hypothesized that people with BPD are more likely to experience DRC compared to people in non-clinical population. Several variables related to this hypothesis were identified through a theoretical analysis of the scientific literature.
Sleep disturbances: problems with sleep are found in 15–95.5% of people with BPD, and unstable sleep and wake cycles, which occur in BPD, are linked to DRC.
Dissociation: nearly two-thirds of people with BPD experience dissociative symptoms and dissociative symptoms are correlated with a fantasy proneness; both dissociative symptoms and fantasy proneness are related to DRC .
Negative dream content: People with BPD have nightmares more often than other people; dreams that are more likely to be confused with reality tend to be more realistic and unpleasant, and are reflected in waking behavior.
Cognitive disturbances: Many BPD patients experience various cognitive disturbances, including problems with reality testing , which can foster DRC. Thin boundaries: People with thin boundaries are more prone to DRC than people with thick boundaries, and people with BPD tend to have thin boundaries .
The theoretical analysis on the basis of these findings suggests that people who suffer from BPD may be more susceptible to confusing dream content with actual waking events.

If you're interested in this thematic, here's the source.
What this suggests is that people suffering from BPD are significantly more prone to DRC, which is an inability to differentiate between dreams and reality. On top of that, DRC is trongly linked to the concept of nightmares.
And Basil, in fact is hinted to suffer from this by his own dialogue:
​
Processing img kk3tofx0fv3b1...

BASIL
A lot has happened since these pictures were taken.
Sometimes, it feels like it was all a bad dream.

Note that he specifically says 'since these pictures were taken' - in the timeframe he describes, Maris death is included.
​
If it wasn't clear before what I was getting at with this, by now all the pieces should have fallen in place.
Yes, I am suggesting that the plot of OMORI is not some sort of murder-mystery, but instead a tragic tale about two boys who were completely ruined by a mental hell that exists exclussively in their heads.
Essentially, I am arguing that 'the truth' is a Red Herring, and that taking the obvious conclusion at face-value is a fallacy.
​
Here's a general outline for the backstory:
​

At the day of the recital, Mari commits suicide.
Sunny and Basil are the ones to find her. Both develop PTSD. Additionally, Basils BPD drastically worsens due to his trauma.
A few months pass. At an unspecified point during this time, Basil has a terrible nightmare influenced by his trauma, and due to BPD-related DRC mistakes it for a genuine memory.
He goes on to talk about 'the truth' to Sunny. Many reasons are possible: He just wants to comfort him, or maybe he did so in a desperate hope that Sunny would deny this memory to be true.
But Sunny has amnesia. And he is morbidly predispositioned to develop False Memories at other peoples suggestion. And since he has no way of debunking Basil recounting of that day, he accepts it as true.
Meanwhile, Basil had noticed Sunny to have 'forgotten' about 'the truth'. So, to ensure that Sunny does not do so again, he tapes the key to the back of one of his photos, and leaves the 'Don't forget'-message on it's back.
Basils influence on Sunnys vulnerable psyche has triggered the creation of Black Space (Note how the door to BS is located in a field of White Egret Orchid, which represent the phrase 'My thoughts will follow you into your dreams' Black Space is Basils suggestion following Sunny into his dreams).
In order to subdue it, he creates the Black Lightbulb, and starts to shut himself off completely.
4 years of silence follow, and in the meantime, 'the truth' rampages in Sunnys subconscious and grows in strength, as implied by both Stranger and Daddy Longlegs.
At the night of '3 Days Left', Sunny actively tries to remember 'the truth' and destroys the Black Lightbulb.
This causes the 'idea' that Basil unknowingly planted in Sunnys mind to resurface full-force.
What follows is a Sunny 'remembering' a False Memory, based on Basil account of the events. The photos are from Basils POV, in a book labeled 'Basils Memories', and are riddeled with inconsistencies and impossibilities.
Additionally, Basils claim of 'Something behind Sunny' having killed Mari is actually based on a truth: Since Something=Mari, this means 'Something killed Mari' is correct, just twisted beyond recognition.

I'd like to add that this theory also solves certain plot-issues rather nicely, and offers concrete conclusions rather than vague interpretations and shallow symbolism.
Specificall the key and photo in the treehouse, as well as the the meaning of the White Egret Orchid come to mind.
​
There is just one question left unanswered:
Mari.
Why?
​
II.c Mari
Well...

BASIL Aww, MARI... I wish I could be more like you! You always seem to have everything under control.
MARI That's not true at all! It just seems that way from the outside!

The implication here is that Mari has more going on than she lets on.
Additionally, she expresses a certain strong belief:

MARI
Everyone... I know it's tough right now, but we have to stay positive! We should all try to be like BASIL! Even when BASIL is upset, he always manages to smile.

She essentially says that one should suck it up and smile regardless.
This behaviour is dangerous.
If you actively try to cover up your problems up with toxic positivity, other people cannot offer help, and may result in those problems becoming worse and worse. This behaviour would explain why nobody saw it coming.
Mari is also a perfectionist.

Researchers have begun to investigate the role of perfectionism in various mental disorders such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders and personality disorders, as well as suicide. Each disorder is associated with varying levels of the three subscales on the Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale. For instance, socially prescribed perfectionism in young women has been associated with greater body-image dissatisfaction and avoidance of social situations that focus on weight and physical appearance.

Perfectionism is known to be a great contributor to both mental disorders and suicidal ideation.
I already have a specific disorder in mind, but more on that later.

Perfectionism is increasingly considered to be a risk factor for suicide. The tendency of perfectionists to have excessively high expectations of self and to be self-critical when their efforts do not meet the expectations they have established, combined with their tendency to present a public image of flawlessness increases their risk of suicidal ideation while decreasing the likelihood of seeking help when it is needed. Perfectionism is one of many suicide predictors that affect individuals negatively via pressure to fulfill other- or self-generated high expectations, feeling incapable of living up to them, and social disconnection.

This is pretty much the behaviour I have previously described.
In this context, it would make sense for Maris suicide to come out of nowhere due to a tendency to hide their problems and social disconnection.
Social disconnection is acually hinted at at least twice.

(9/9):
SUNNY giving MARI a big hug! MARI doesn't come home until late now because she's taking extra classes to prepare for college. Me and SUNNY have been hanging out a lot, but I'm sure he still misses her a lot.

According to Basil, Mari doesn't come home from school until very late. Furthermore, she appearantly barely gets to spend any time with Sunny, despite him being her brother and literally sleeping in the same room.
Subsequently, she probably gets little to no time to spend with the others either, including Hero.
This is further supported by the Black Space II area known as 'Mari is home':

AUBREY
Hey, OMORI... I think your sister is ignoring us. Maybe you should go talk to her.
KEL
We can't have a picnic without MARI!
HERO
MARI hasn't been home in a long time... She just needs some room to adjust.

According to Aubrey, Mari is ignoring them. This hints at increased social isolation on Maris side.
Heros wording also brings us to the next topic:
​
Adjustment Disorder.
Adjustment Disorder is in essence very similar to depression, but caused by an accute psychologic stressor. The disorder usually disappears once the offending stressor is terminated and the person manages to 'adjust' to the situation. The type I am suggesting is essentially very similar to Burnout.
Adjustment Disorder poses a strong risk-factor for suicide, especially if it is in conjunction with perfectionism.
Mari was extremely stressed in the months leading up the recital:
​

Mine and MARI's school books. MARI has been coming home late because of cram school. She must be tired...

Maris parents are sending her to cram school, which causes Mari to come home very late.
It is reasonable to assume that the majority of her free-time, most notably the weekends, were probably consumed by practicing for the recital.

A table lamp. MARI has trouble sleeping, so she reads books before bed. I often turn off this light for her after she falls asleep.

It is openly stated that Mari has problems falling asleep. This serves to make mental exhaustion and depressive tendencies even worse.
​
The way I see it, Mari was under constant and extreme pressure in the time leading up to the recital. Her busy schedule impeded on her social life, and combined with a prefectionist tendency to try and keep up an image of flawlessness resulted in her problems to go unnoticed by the others.
The closer the recital came, the more the pressure on Mari increased. She wanted it to be perfect, but since only the weekends are left to practice, this severly limited her opportunities to practice.
However, Sunny hated the practicing, and he also hated Mari locking herself away on the piano for hours at a time.
This conflict caused an alienation between the two siblings.
​
All of those issues combined provide both a realistic and believable reason for Maris suicide as well as an explanation as to why nobody saw it coming.
All in all I'd say that this alternative interpretation of 'the truth' greatly increases Mari depth as a character based on actual in-game evidence.
​
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
That should be about everything. If you have any questions, feel free to ask in the comments.
​
What do you think about this theory?
While I certainly expect a lot skepticism, I think that at the very least I have proven that this is fairly substantiated, realistic, and narratively compelling alternative interpretation of OMORIs plot.
Before you ask, yes, I do headcanon this.
I particularily like the subtle hints, and howthe characters personality, relationships and backstory fall in place very conveniently.
A lot of little details on their own can be dismissed very easily, yet together they converge to a very powerful argument.
Essentially, I love that this interpretation re-defines 'the truth' as an ingenious Red Herring.

I saw this boy for the first time around mid-October during the first semester of uni. We sat on the same 2 pm bus to a certain campus and he was sitting somewhat across from me, facing me (if that makes sense). I didn't think much about them until I started seeing them more on campus by coincidence. During my second encounter with them, I was saying goodbye to my best friend as she got on a bus to a different campus for her next class. I was considering whether to take the bus behind her to go to a different campus because I just wanted to see a different scenery. Then, as I was walking to that bus behind the bus that my friend just got on, I made eye contact with that boy because he was sitting in the front seat of the shuttle bus. When we made eye contact, I could see his eyes dilate and I knew at that moment that we both recognize each other (I was standing outside the bus and didn't get on the bus as I was feeling overwhelmed with butterflies in my stomach). The 3rd time we met by coincidence, I was once again waiting to get on a bus and coincidentally he was on that same bus. However, this time, he purposely moved to a two-seater and was sitting on the seat next to the window. Right after, he kept looking at me and smiling at me. However, too many people needed to get on the same bus as me, so I couldn't get on that bus. Since then, we would meet coincidentally on campus while I was waiting for a bus or walking to my next class. Every single time, I would notice that he would sneak a peak at me, or we just both look at each other with our eyes dilated. I'm an Aquarius and I'm introverted, so loving him from afar already made me feel overjoyed and made my day. Even tho idk anything about him including his name as I've never talked to him before, his existence was enough to make me happy and make me want to continue living in the hopes of seeing him again. After hearing the news of Astro Moonbin's death, I finally made up my mind that I'm going to bring up the courage to confess to him because a thought occurred to me. The thought was, "What if he was always smiling like Moonbin, but actually struggling with life and maybe even considering suicide?" If that were the case, I want to be someone able to help him out and prevent him from committing suicide because I really like him. Although we only had two weeks left of uni as finals week was coming up, during the last week of classes, I finally bit the bullet and confessed my feelings to him. I said, "I have something that I've been meaning to say to you for a long time. This may be cringy but bear with me for a moment," I took a deep breath in, and with my voice extremely trembling while trying not to crack my voice or cry in the process, I told him "I like your smile and I think you're really cute. l hope you do well with your finals, I hope you have a great summer break, and I just hope life goes well for you in general." After that confession, we had some small talk, I asked him for his Instagram, and a few hours later he followed me back. A few days after I confessed, I decided to dm him on Instagram about how I wanted to get to know him better. He replied back to me in a week or two telling me he was not ready to get to know me because he was struggling with his mental health and needed a break from social media. However, he did wish that I have a good summer and do well on my finals. I liked his reply and I replied by telling him I'm glad he was taking the time to take care of his mental health, I understand him socially isolating himself because I've done that several times in my life before. I sent him the "sending a virtual hug" gif, and two days later he liked my reply and sent a simple sentence reply thanking me for my support and the smiley face with tear emoji. I sent him a simple sentence back saying "that's the least I can do" and that's the end of our interaction.
It has been a month and now I'm starting to overthink. I legit don't know what to do now. I know there are still 2-3 months of summer left, but when the summer ends, should I dm him to ask how his summer went/if he feels better, and if he could send me his schedule for the upcoming fall semester? What if I bump into him again coincidentally during the upcoming fall semester? Should I say hi to him? Should I wait for him to reach out to me? Should I let this go? But for some reason, I just can't let this go and I have a feeling that there is still hope deep down inside my heart. I've had a few crushes in the past, but I've never had one where deep down in my heart I can't let them go. None of my past crushes would smile at me on their own if we bumped into each other (I never talked to them before too). The many coincidental encounters made me wonder if they are my destiny/fate/soulmate because as the saying goes "if you meet someone a second time that's a coincidence, but a third time is fate/destiny." I know I may be delusional about this, but I can't stop thinking about them. Legit I don't mind being friends with him and if I'm not the one. If they're in a genuine relationship where that other person makes them smile, even if it's not me, I would genuinely be happy for them (I mean I would be a little hurt that I can't be the one, but still overall happy for them). I just want to be someone that's part of their life that can make them smile even if that means being just friends. Legit, I'm willing to risk my all just to see them genuinely happy. Please help a girl/hopeless romantic out! T-T

https://i.redd.it/6q5yun8dit2b1.gif

Humans are Weird – Biscuits Recipes

Original Post: http://www.authorbettyadams.com/bettys-blog/humans-are-weird-biscuit-recipes
Embracesgladly was carefully maintaining her grip on Human Friend Maria as they moved down the corridor of the dry cave system. The lights pained on the ceiling to provide a near surface level of luminosity were just turning orange as somewhere, und upon und of solid rock above them the barren surface of the planet turned away from its harsh, near star. Again the human’s hormone profile changed, grew past the point on the gradient the Undulate had learned to recognize. Mindfully Embracesgladly loosed a gripping appendage to ‘pat’ Human Friend Maria’s main gripping appendage. Human Friend Maria returned the gesture by applying gentle pressure with the full area of her gripping surface to where it cradled Embracesgladly’s mass.
Human Friend Maria’s massive central atmosphere pumps took on a more mechanical rhythm as she shifted from passive to active control of her oxygen exchange and by the time they had reached Human Friend Maria’s habsuite, carved into the glittering granite of the world, the human’s pheromone gradient had begun to shift back into a less abnormal range. The massive mammal paused in front of her door and drew in a deep breath.
“See you tomorrow eh Hugs?” Human Friend Maria said, her voice still sounding a bit weak as it rumbled out of her chest and though the air.
“Unless you would like a sleeping companion,” Embracesgladly offered.
Human Friend Maria’s fibers stiffened and her stripes flushed with various emotions. Embracesgladly was pained to note that there wasn’t a little offense in the mix and when Human Friend Maria spoke her voice was carefully controlled into recognizably cheerful tones.
“No! I’m good. You shuffle on back to your habsuite.”
“Very well!” Embracesgladly tried to put as much cheer in her own voice. “If you need anything in the night remember your door is right beside the waterlock!”
She made a broad gesture down at the shimmering blue hatch and scrambled down Human Friend Maria’s side when the human’s usually powerful arms went limp and released her. The human maintained her stiff, upright posture until her door had opened and the massive mammal disappeared though it. However Embracesgladly felt the thump of the human slumping against the wall before dragging her massive bipedal frame towards the human sized hydration pool.
That was one perk of this world, Embracesgladly mused. There was always plentiful water of the temperature the humans thrived in. She slipped down into the wet corridor and swam slowly towards the medical pod. She pulled herself up into the rapidly darkening medical bay and spread her appendages to get her bearings.
Human Friend John lay on one of the human slabs, emitting a rhythmic sound. The absolutely massive – even for a human – mammal had been complaining of sleep issues and was no doubt here to make sure he wasn’t suffocating in the night as (supposedly) many humans did. However he was soundly asleep by the dim glow of his stripes and the bases chief medic was quietly sorting expired medical patches by an Undulate sized soaking tank the humans kept about two unds above the floor to decontaminate their hands.
“Swim over!” Medic Lurchesover waved to her.
Embracesgladly came to him and started helping with the sorting.
“How goes your personal assignment?” he asked with his dorsal appendages even as he ventral appendages continued to sort.
“It is working,” Embracesgladly responded slowly. “I do feel that I am doing her good.”
“Despite her best efforts?” Medic Lurchesover prodded gently.
“She is participating as best she can,” Embracesgladly replied quickly. “But she does resent needing help.”
“Can you sound that that is actually a common human reaction?” Medic Lurchesover demanded with a particularly wide gesture of his dorsal appendages.
“It does not seem to flow with reality,” Embracesgladly admitted as she felt the surface of a questionable patch. “I just am trying to swim towards my best efforts.”
For several companionable moments they sorted the patches while Medic Lurchesover mulled over her half request-half observation. Finally he set down his patches.
“Have you attention-attention-attention indefinitely?” he asked, emitting a rippling overtone along with the gestures.
Embracesgladly set down her own patches and absorbed his meaning in stillness for several moments.
“I am sorry,” she finally said. “I simply cannot sound how repeated attention touches is anything but a petty annoyance? Are you suggesting I overwhelm her biochemistry induces paranoia with genuine irritation adrenaline?”
Medic Lurchesover rippled with amused understanding.
“It is very confusing to us, I sound,” he gestured in soothing swoops. “You are wise to not simply try it on an emotionally compromised patient.”
“She is my friend, not my patient,” Embracesgladly corrected him. “I have no medical training.”
“Well!” Medic Lurchesover stated as he resumed his sorting. “Why don’t you go try it out on Human Friend John and see how he responds? That should clear the waters!”
Embracesgently waved a speculative appendage cluster in the direction of the massive human who had shifted from a rhythmic to a stuttering and gurgling sound profile.
“I am not a medic,” she gestured slowly, “but are there not issues of consent?”
“Oh, John waived all those consent bits to help with the training,” Medic Lurchesover replied as he dropped a torn patch into the waste bin.
“Isn’t he in the middle of a medical test?” she pressed.
“That he failed hours ago,” Medic Lurchesover said. “You’ll be doing him a favor if you wake him. Remember to do the sound now.”
Embracesgently wasn’t quite firm in the strokes of the thing, but waiving his medical consent to save time and help out did seem like something Human Friend John would do, even if it was, rather especially if it was of questionable legality. So she shuffled across to his slab and with some effort climbed up beside him.
“You need to be on a flat surface,” Medic Lurchesover gestured. “Chest, back, or lap.”
She obediently climbed up on Human Friend John’s wide ribcage, noting again the dark irregularities of scars that intersected his stripes at odd angles.
“Like this?” she asked as she began gently tapping out the words for attention on the central bony structure that supported his internal frame.
“Slower, and don’t forget the sound,” Medic Lurchesover instructed.
Embracesgently slowed her gestured and tried to mimic the sound Medic Lurchesover had been making. It was rather difficult, especially out of water, though she found that if she pulsed the waves from her own surface down into the cavity of Human Friend John’s chest she got better results. As she expected Human Friend John woke at the attention. The sounds he was making cut off with a gurgle and his lights brightened as his eyelids flickered open. He spent several long moments blinking as his bifocal eyes brought the Undulate on his chest into resolution.
Embracesgently continued the supposed soothing method, and despite Medic Lurchesover’s assurance was surprised to see the humans colors rippled as his tension dropped. His face finally stretched into a grin and one massive gripping appendage came up and patted Embracesgently in a soothing human greeting.
“Daw!” the human rumbled out. “Someone’s makin biscuits!”
His face split open in a cavernous yawn and he slumped back, now with contented light radiating out from his stripes. Embracesgently continued her actions until the dimming of his lights showed he was deeply asleep and then eased off the human and his slab. Medic Lurchesover looked rather smug from the set of his appendages but she could afford to be generous. If Human Friend Maria responded to the odd comfort gesture even an appendage as well as Human Friend John did they should begin the very next morning. Still one question was tickling her lagging appendages.
“What are biscuits?” she asked Medic Lurchesover, “and how does this gesture resemble making them?”

Humans are Weird ​Book Series

Amazon (Kindle, Paperback, Audiobook)

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Please Leave Reviews on the Newest Book!

​
https://preview.redd.it/1v5bqnxwkt2b1.png?width=1590&format=png&auto=webp&s=36c7ac8b9686e4c6a3e6281eab8a37aaec5e515c

So I’ve been down the rabbit hole, trying to chase every off-the-cuff reference, stray allegory, allusion, comparison, and tangent. I’m going to need you to bear (hug) with me for a bit because I think I’ve stumbled on some truly insane parallels between this show and the myriad of references it makes and it will take a lot of text to justify to you that I'm not crazy (or that I am, but at least I do my research).
This is a show that employs a ton of intertextuality and what the poet T.S. Eliot (someone quoted frequently throughout the series) calls “the mythic method”: essentially using historical, literary, and mythological allusions to draw parallels between characters on the show and characters throughout history (real and imagined).
This method helps the audience to build both conscious and unconscious associations with each of the characters and, ultimately, underscores the Roys’ (and humanity’s) damning commitment to making the same mistakes over and over again. The show seems to draw a lot from Greek mythology, Arthurian legend, biblical parables, Shakespearean tragedy, and modernist poetry (among many other things).
These networks of symbolism span from the earliest recorded history to modern celebrity culture and yet they reveal frighteningly unchanged elements in the stories they tell. The parallels of these references throughout the show serve to highlight the cyclical (the illusion of progress) and deterministic (the illusion of free will) nature of existence.
While I will be dipping in and out of the existing references, I want to call particular attention to the poetry of the aforementioned T.S. Eliot (who champions the mythic method) and John Berryman’s poem Dream Song 29 because I believe much of their work has served as a foundation for characters.
In the show, Frank makes mention of his poem “The Long Song Of J Alfred Prufrock” more than once. Outside of the show, Matthew McFayden (the actor who plays Tom) references the same poem to describe his character. Jeremy Strong (the actor who plays Kendall) says Eliot’s work The Four Quartets is a huge inspiration to his acting and character. A line from this particular work did strike me as being quite on the nose, which is why I continued to comb the poem for more (which it does deliver on):

"In my beginning is my end. In succession Houses rise and fall, crumble, are extended, Are removed, destroyed, restored, or in their place Is an open field, or a factory, or a by-pass. Old stone to new building, old timber to new fires, Old fires to ashes, and ashes to the earth Which is already flesh, fur and faeces, Bone of man and beast, cornstalk and leaf."

This will probably be a monster of a post, so I will attempt to break down the following sections between poetic parallels, visual and dialogic symbolism of eternal recurrence, and an exploration of the historical and mythological allusions. Ultimately, I believe all of these clues point to the overwhelming conclusion that we will end where we began, in some way or another.
Circles & Cycles: Endless Recurrence & The Futility Of Progress
The show toys a lot with the philosophical concept of eternal recurrence, which postulates that “time repeats itself in an infinite loop, and that exactly the same events will continue to occur in exactly the same way, over and over again, for eternity.”
These eternal loops are symbolized visually with mirrors, water, fractal reflections; in the “uh-huh” and “mhmms” of repeated, near-palindromic dialogue; and in the show events that echo and repeat: in-air death scares, asynchronous business deals, family betrayal, weddings, retreats, implosions, family reunions, trauma bonding, baptism, funerals, etc.
In this understanding of time, there is no linear progress — or even progress at all. Time is cyclical. People are cyclical. As are the events that transpire. This is particularly interesting in a show like Succession whose title alone implies the phrase “line of succession.” Viewers would expect to see what comes next — who comes next — but as Logan himself yells, “Nothing is a line. Everything is moving all the time.”
Logan consistently evokes the circle shape in his speech, “Put a circle around him” he tells Shiv. “We’ve been circling for an hour, tell them we’re out of gas,” he complains in a moment of grim foreshadowing on his plane. “Crawl in a circle and close your eyes,” he shouts during the game of Boar on the Floor.
And he is the bright, burning nebulous center of this circle. He’s described as “carr[ying] his gravity. He's not a man, he's a f*cking planet.” And the people around him are described like satellites and moons. Characters exist in his orbit. And every complete orbit (or “revolution”) leaves characters in exactly the same place. There are motions, there is the illusion of progress, but the result is the same. Eliot again:

“every attempt Is a wholly new start, and a different kind of failure”

With this understanding, the show may just end where it begins. Not only in “nothing” happening, but in repeating the same events ad infinitum: A kid tries to take over the family business, they try to align with their siblings, they eventually backstab their siblings, they end out in the cold, and then they reunite, swear not to do it again, until it all repeats.
As most of us are aware, the show has made very direct mention of the John Berryman poem Dream Song 29. The names of the past three season finales (as well as the name of the upcoming fourth) are all direct excerpts from the poem, which deals with grief and sadness and the guilt of killing someone when you can’t even confirm there’s been someone killed at all.
Berryman consistently wrote about the guilt and grief he experienced from his father’s suicide. Berryman himself would eventually end up taking his own life, which on its own is a brutal reminder of the cycles of trauma. It also doesn’t feel insignificant that Berryman jumped off a bridge.
What’s really interesting is how each subsequent finale is named for a line that comes earlier and earlier in the poem. It also toys with this concept that things come full circle and end where they begin. This echoes Eliot’s essential thesis of the poem:

“What we call the beginning is often the end And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.”

But while the speaker of the poem comes to realize he has not murdered “nobody” by the poem’s last line; Kendall, moving through the poem backward, must reckon with the idea that he may have killed somebody even if they were a “nobody.” And while we may encounter this as a moment in which Kendall is genuinely despairing over his season 1 inadvertent murder, I believe we are far more likely to see Kendall embrace this moment.
We see "nobody" and "no one mentioned" a lot when it comes to Logan, who believes most people are "fungible as f*ck," and "pygmies" while he's "1,000 feet tall." When Kendall is involved in the accident, we see him echo "NRPI" or no real person involved.
The reason Kendall couldn’t live up to his father’s expectations is that he couldn’t be the killer his father needed him to be (even if his morality or basis of being a good person is off). This retroactive movement through the poem could be Kendall realizing he is, in fact, the killer his father always needed him to be, enabling him to take the necessary steps of seizing the crown on his own.
Allegories & Allusions: Mythic Comparisons & Determinism
It’s Shakespearean, like Roman says, “I kill Kendall, get crowned king, like we’re in f*cking Hamlet or something.” But it’s not just Hamlet, it’s King Lear, King Richard III, Coriolanus, Macbeth. And it’s not just Shakespeare, it’s Oedipus Rex, The Odyssey, The Waste Land, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, Cronus devouring his children, Romulus killing Remus, Noah cursing his child for looking upon him naked.
The concept of the monomyth was popularized in "The Hero With 1000 Faces" and discusses throughout history, throughout different times and places, different cultures, different religions, different people have developed stories with relatively similar fundamental elements. The show is rife with allusions of stories that follow that same thread. Logan is Cronus who is King Lear who is Romulus who is who is. This is another form of endless recurrence: the inability to break the cycle. Or, in a very Hamlet reference, "maybe the poison drips through."
The themes of patricide, fratricide, and incest in particular are rampant. Rhea (like Rhea Jarell) in Greek mythology is both sister and consort to Cronus. Both are part of the first generation of aptly named Titan gods. Cronus overthrew his father Uranus and learns his children are fated to overthrow him. So he eats them as soon as they are born. Logan does refer to people as food a surprising amount throughout the show, varying from red meat to vegetables. He outright calls for blood sacrifice, which evokes the language of the gods.
Logan is referenced specifically as one of the last real American titans in his obituaries and eulogies. The language around him is frequently god-like. He's known as "the big man" or even "the big man upstairs." Tom tells Greg to "be his representative here on earth"; Roman asks the audience, "who is going to climb Mt. Olympus and be the next Dr. Zeus?" And that's where the myth gets interesting.
The only child not to be eaten is Zeus, who does end up killing his father and was surprisingly interested in marrying his mother. We're familiar with this plot formula through a different archetype: the Oedipus Complex, which we see referenced in the show with “Oedipus Roy,” “Oedipussy,” and “stabbing my eyes out.” The same story is repeated again in Hamlet with brother killing and brother and son yelling at his mother about her milky breasts (something Roman does to Shiv more than once). In the show when Logan says to Roman, “You may want to f*ck your mother but I don’t.” We know none of these stories end well. As Connor muses, “It’s not right to kill one’s father; history teaches us that.”
In the story of Romulus and Remus (whose mother’s name is also Rhea), the two brothers were initially chased out of their city as potential threats to the King (yet again). They were left by the river to die and were saved by the river god (important). After successfully overthrowing the kingdom that left them for dead, they agree to found a new city. They ultimately disagreed on which hill to found it and decided to have a bird-watching competition to see who could see the most omens indicating they had divine approval for the hill. Remus says he saw 6 auspicious birds but Romulus claims to see 12. Romulus kills Remus over this.
It should remind you of Logan visiting his childhood home with Ewan: “I saw a mistle thrush at the bandstand,” and the log book he kept as a child of birds he “saw” that Ewan would cross out if he didn’t believe him. It may also echo a part of The Four Quartets, “Other echoes/ Inhabit the garden. Shall we follow?/ Quick, said the bird, find them, find them,/ Round the corner. Through the first gate,/ Into our first world, shall we follow/ The deception of the thrush?"
There is much to be said about the themes of warring brothers. Also the themes of fathers worried their children would one day overthrow them who take action to thwart or murder their children, which inadvertently sets into motion the very outcome they fear. It happens over and over again in stories old and new. As Panhandle Pete says, “I push him, he pushes me, and around and around we go.” Or as Eliot puts it, “that the wheel may turn and still / Be forever still.”
Much of these works touch on a sort of determinism, or the slow crushing reality that every action you take — even if that action is an attempt to thwart your fate — will ultimately lead to the same inevitable ending. This is the illusion of free will on top of the illusion of progress. And Logan, in fearing his children would usurp him (and also disparaging his children for not being able to), set into motion his own death and his own messy succession.
It’s also a reminder that the greatest men in life are all the same when laid to rest:

"O dark dark dark. They all go into the dark, The vacant interstellar spaces, the vacant into the vacant, The captains, merchant bankers, eminent men of letters, The generous patrons of art, the statesmen and the rulers, Distinguished civil servants, chairmen of many committees, Industrial lords and petty contractors, all go into the dark…"

Structure & Symbolism: Water As Rebirth & Destruction
The show has very much been structured around Kendall, and we watch him move through bodies of water with what feels like different symbolism each time. Is he drowning, is he reborn? We witness Kendall at his lowest point face down in a pool and at one of his highest, splashing into the Pacific ocean. We watch a man drown. We watch Logan beg Kendall for water as they walk through Adrien Brody’s maze. We watch Roman clamor for water at the funeral when he needs to calm down. Poetry has long played with this life and death dynamic in water, like the sailors dying of thirst in Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s The Rime of the Ancient Mariner who cry:

“Water, water, every where,. And all the boards did shrink;. Water, water, every where,. Nor any drop to drink. The very deep did rot: O Christ!”

This sub has noted Kendall’s connection to water, which has been represented over and over visually. But once you realize every metaphor, analogy, and simile he uses is water-based, you can’t unhear it. He calls his father “a tsunami of corruption” and describes things “as more precious than water”; he calls deals “choppy” and “dead in the water,” and asks to “help steady the ship”; he offers to “row back” on business deals, says timing is “high tide,” and that he has “bigger fish to fry.”
Logan is apt to use similar water symbolism, even telling Shiv that she’s marrying a man “fathoms” beneath her. As Rhea tells him, fearful of his own monstrosity, “I can’t see the bottom of the pool. I don’t know if you care about anything. It scares me.” ATN’s major scandal was “death cruises.” Even his operating nemesis is called “Sandy.”
In fact, there is mention of all elements and seasons — in particular, fire from Shiv, air from Roman, and earth from Connor. T.S. Eliot’s The Four Quartets confront these same themes and share some surprising similarities with show scene locations, dialogue, and plot points.
That’s because Succession is an allegory for the micro and the macro: the rise and fall of families, civilizations, monarchies, dynasties, and empires. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, the cycles rinse and repeat. Eliot modeled the four quartets on the 4 elements and the 4 seasons. And you can see even in Succession a similar manifestation of 4 elements. And, well, 4 seasons of the show. (And what occurs after 4 seasons? A full revolution around the sun, bringing you to where you began.)
Water seems to be at the root of it all. Even Ewan’s eulogy meditates on his and Logan’s journey on a boat. Even their abusive uncle is named Noah. In the show, we watch our nobody die by water, we watch our main character nearly die by water, and then we watch him revive in the ocean. As Kendall and his father wind their way through Adrien Brody’s circuitous Long Island home, Kendall remarks, “I think this leads to the ocean.” Because every path leads to the sea in some way or another.
The overarching narration from T.S. Eliot’s The Waste Land is the Arthurian Legend of The Fisher King. This story is told a million different ways with a million different outcomes, but always boils down to an injured or maimed monarch ruling over a dying land. Or as Ewan refers to his "empire of shit": “He’s built a wasteland and called it an empire.”
He’s looking for someone, anyone, to heal him, rescue the kingdom, and ensure the dynasty survives. This is the myth of the holy grail, which, in this show, can be seen as the throne: The original stories of the holy grail were not Christian/religious but they do employ a lot of the same mythmaking from earlier religions and mythologies to tell their stories and thus construct their new realties. As Eliot says in The Four Quartets:

"The whole earth is our hospital Endowed by the ruined millionaire, Wherein, if we do well, we shall Die of the absolute paternal care That will not leave us, but prevents us everywhere."

I believe Kendall (and the other children) represent the grail knights who try to save the king. (On the same level they stand in for the gods, the elements, or anything at all). When Christianity became more popular, these myths adapted to Christian overtones, but they still had the Celtic and pagan myths at their core: the grail becomes the chalice from the last supper.
That’s why Kendall’s easy comparisons of himself to Jesus feel less blasphemous than revelatory. Jesus is another hero archetype in the show’s mythology. He is willing to sacrifice himself, which Kendall must do in order to become the successor his father wanted. As he says, "this is a culmination of my life's journey to be crucified for you morons."
(It’s worth noting: In some legends, the knight saves the king; in others, he inadvertently destroys him. We know Logan dies, but it does feel less likely that Waystar Royco survives.) Drowning is a constant feature of Eliot's poems, but so is baptism and renewed life. It is difficult to determine the meaning of water in either instance, except that it doesn't discriminate as a life or death bringer, which is both beautiful and terrifying.
Parallels & Predictions: Piecing The Plot & Poetry Together
To repeat again, as this show is wont to do: “Crawl in a circle and close your eyes!” Logan Roy shouts during a game of Boar On A Floor. It’s an allegory, like many games on the series, and proudly says the quiet part out loud: Logan always wins. Here’s a little boar on the floor reference in The Four Quartets:

"We move above the moving tree In light upon the figured leaf And hear upon the sodden floor Below, the boarhound and the boar Pursue their pattern as before But reconciled among the stars."

We’ve seen the L.O.G.A.N. system at work many times and with many people. He dangles a carrot, a morsel of love, as each character attempts to play the game over and over while expecting different results. They are doomed to crawl in that circle, to play that blind game, as Logan angrily shouts, “It’s fun!” And this game doesn't end in death. The children still ask. "What would dad do?"
Games on Succession (which are a consistent refrain), it turns out, are rarely fun and are often designed to humiliate or inflict pain. The same goes when characters say “I’m just kidding” after an eviscerating remark. Logan thinks life is a game, and as he says, games should be taken seriously. And because Logan explicitly makes the rules, there is no winning, just trudging around the board, passing Go, and collecting $200. The games are essentially Sisyphean tasks that the kids wouldn’t be able to win even if they were actually competent enough to run the company. And yet they keep rolling the boulder. It’s endless. The repetition. It ends where it begins.

"Every phrase and every sentence is an end and a beginning, Every poem an epitaph. And any action Is a step to the block, to the fire, down the sea's throat Or to an illegible stone: and that is where we start. We die with the dying: See, they depart, and we go with them. We are born with the dead: See, they return, and bring us with them. The moment of the rose and the moment of the yew-tree Are of equal duration. A people without history Is not redeemed from time, for history is a pattern Of timeless moments."

Please also note the use of “the rose” and “the yew tree,” which are the names of Logan’s siblings Rose and Ewan, which derives from yew-tree. Other important name comparisons include Kendall’s association to spring/river valley; Siobhan’s nickname either a knife (Shiv) or Pinky (a variation of the name Rose); Roman’s connection to Romulus/Corialanus; Tom’s name meaning “twin” because there was already someone named Judas in the bible HELLO; Logan’s name meaning little hollow, which recalls another Eliot poem, The Hollow Men.
We know this show is a game, one that isn't fun at all, and one whose rules Logan made up. Even when there's a winner, there's no winner. So it's almost futile to play at all. That said, it’s impossible to make sense of any of it all without the ending — to confirm this ball has been rolling toward an inevitable conclusion, but given the show’s ending has probably occurred already, here are my thoughts:

• Kendall drowns

This may feel a bit on the nose given we’ve already seen this almost happen to “the Kurt Cobain of floaties,” but it would certainly be poetic. This could be sad (launched from a bridge); empowering (a la The Awakening); or metaphorical (a drug overdose). At some point Kendall says, "If dad didn’t need me right now I wouldn’t know what I would be for." The kids exist with Logan as their sun; they are moons, satellites, in orbit. And when their sun dies out, they repeat the motions in the cold, slowly losing their patterns and motions. The term is science is a rogue planet and the following lines from the poem remind me of Kendall and his broken, hollow stare.
“It would be the same at the end of the journey, If you came at night like a broken king, If you came by day not knowing what you came for, It would be the same, when you leave the rough road And turn behind the pig-sty to the dull facade And the tombstone. And what you thought you came for Is only a shell, a husk of meaning From which the purpose breaks only when it is fulfilled If at all. Either you had no purpose Or the purpose is beyond the end you figured And is altered in fulfilment.”

• Kendall is king of the ashes

Any victory feels like it will be a Pyrrhic victory regardless when you've had to systematically take down everyone you love to achieve it. The same lines above can echo here "the purpose is beyond the end you figured/And is altered in fulfilment." A hollow victory. The Fisher King question Logan poses is, "Who can replace me?" Logan wanted each of his children to display the killer instinct. Kendall’s backwards journey through Dreamsong 29 may very well see him realize he is, in fact, the killer his dad always wanted — with open eyes. This will probably involve taking down his siblings. In this version, winning is a lot like losing, which feels very Succession.

• Mattson wins it all

These Shakespearean histories and tragedies rarely end well for existing houses. With Richard III (the-multiple-lineage-ending war of the roses) and Hamlet (the-whole-house-dies-but-a-norwegian-king-swoops-in-to-take-it-all dynastic struggle) references abound. We may just see a new house rise up and rinse and repeat. This would probably also occur if the kids take each other down and leave it open for another party. We saw last season that Roman thought he had an in with Mattson until it didn’t serve Mattson anymore. I see the same thing happening between Roman and Mencken. This puts Mencken and Mattson in a position to take over, which may make Mattson win it or…

• Mattson destroys it all

When Mattson is introduced, he is referenced as a trickster. Generally, in mythology, this character is quite intelligent or in possession of secret knowledge, and he uses it for trickery and commandeering situations. (Is that blood thing real???). Hamlet concludes with every major character killing the other with their own tragic flaws until a third party Scandinavian comes in to take the crown with no necessary action or bloodshed at all. We already know he's unscrupulous; what is his end game? It reminds me of one of his early lines to Roman, which would be an eerie foreshadowing:
“Success doesn’t really interest me anymore, it’s too easy. Analysis + capital + execution. Fucking, anyone can do that. But failure, that’s a secret. Just as much failure as possible as fast as possible, burn that shit out, that’s interesting.”

• Tom betrays Shiv

We’ve seen it happen before (which is why it should happen again). We’ve also seen Tom remove the thin veneer of his ambitions to the point where he almost feels like Richard III. He has played the fool, which is Shakespearean estimation, is often equivalent to the trickster. This would be a fun and distorted parallel to Shiv offering this job to him for Logan to offer it to her. This would probably happen in conjunction with Mattson winning. As I mentioned earlier, the name Tom means “twin” and the apostle Tom was only called as such because there were already one too many “Judas” in the mix. He's also from Minnesota (the twin cities!), so this is becoming very real, you know???

• Greg betrays Tom

While we know Tom has betrayed Shiv before, we also know Greg betrayed Shiv and Tom when he spoke to Geri in the first season about Tom having a press conference on cruises. He leads Tom to believe Shiv has betrayed him, getting one over on both of them. There may also be something with the Rule of 3 and being betrayed 3 times that feels biblical. The show also makes TONS of references to holding on to blackmail for opportune moments. Will we see something like this?
I’m not a big believer that Greg will fail so far upwards that he will win (this would feel like a betrayal in its own right), but do I believe there’s a world where Greg gets himself on a piece of paper with a question mark. Maybe???

• Geri finally beats Tom

This is my personal hope because I want the Tom and Jerry allusion to be real more than any other I put together (we love a good cat and mouse game). If Mattson wins, he needs a US CEO. Geri has collected a massive amount of dirt on everyone. And to call back to season 1’s interim CEO discussions, Shiv says, “I don’t like Geri. But I don’t hate Geri either.” It would feel particularly good given how much time and effort Logan spent clarifying Geri would be terrible at the position. Especially as Logan disparaging someone generally means he’s afraid of what they can do.
I’ll end at the ending. Or conclude where Eliot did on The Four Quartets:

"We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time. Through the unknown, unremembered gate When the last of earth left to discover Is that which was the beginning; At the source of the longest river The voice of the hidden waterfall And the children in the apple-tree Not known, because not looked for But heard, half-heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea. Quick now, here, now, always— A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything) And all shall be well and All manner of thing shall be well When the tongues of flames are in-folded Into the crowned knot of fire And the fire and the rose are one."

PS. Given ‘Pinky’ is another name for ‘Rose’ does this mean Shiv wins??? JK let’s just watch the show tonight and laugh at our predictions in the morning.

My husband, myself and our son are very much what one would call nerds. I love comic books, they love games.
Now, we're all on Discord, but for some reason I wasn't on my sons chat... thing. I'm not that into the lingo. Which will come into play later.
So I asked my husband: "Can you ask him to let me join his chat...thing?"
He did, my son accepted and sent me a cute little gif with some character or something with a sign, that said: Knus.
Now, in in Denmark, knus means hug. I found that sweet.
So I wanted to send him a gif back. And I found a nice picture of Scout from TF2 ( a game he plays) with the word kys on.
In Denmark, kys means kiss. So I was happy with my response.
As soon as I sent that response, my husband doubled over laughing. Apparently, my son had sent a screenshot of our chat. And I could hear him racing out of his room to get to our bedroom. And that was when I realized...
I was born in 1980. I remember the first Jackass shows. I remember those skater shows, Camp KYS. I know, what those acronyms mean. I should know better!
Thankfully, he found it as hilarious, as I found it mortifying.
TL;DR: I forgot Internet lingo when chatting with my son

Hi!
This will be long so please bear with me.
I never really thought I would have to write this. But I may have accidentally caught the attention of Pazuzu?
I want to preface this by saying I have been practising witchcraft for about eight years now, I have worked with deities such as Hestia and Llyr but the demon/demonolatry stuff is new to me as I have pretty much avoided throughout my practises. Advice would be much appreciated.
I am an archaeologist who specialises in Mesopotamia and the Ancient Near East, specifically everything after 2500 BCE. I have my BA and MA in archaeology and I hope to one day obtain a PhD in my field. But somehow through my studies I have gained a strong attachment to Pazuzu.
I had a lecture in the first year of my BA (2018/2019) about Mesopotamian demons and misconceptions and my autistic brain latched onto Pazuzu, specifically the misconceptions surronding him. Since then, I've had some pretty intense encounters with an entity during my dreams. Once such instance happened in 2020, when I had to call on Hestia for help after this entity was adamant that I work with them and sign something, I could only leave the dream by setting the room on fire (it sounds ridiculous - I know). But that happened again and again - the entity pretending to be a dead relative who did not exist to get me to work with them. I did accidentally agree on one occasion which I retracted a second later when I realised what happened. It sounds like a whole load of crap, I know, but this happened again and again for a good two years. Lately some of the dreams have turned sexual/physically affectionate which I admit did weird me out (especially as I use to work with Hestia and Llyr where it was more parental).
But back onto Pazuzu, so since 2018 and that lecture, I've been somewhat vocal about my appreciation of him and how he's actually decent despite the misconceptions about him. Stuff like "He was an apotropaic figure back in the day so why have people labeled him as an evil entity" and "Lamashtu was actually worse than he was, yet people completley ignore her in favour of attacking the one with the cooler name" and "Why does Hollywood have him as the guy who hs bringing harm to children? That literally goes against everything he represents" and "He's literally the guy you call when things got bad with other demons. If anything he should be represented as an anti-hero of sorts" and "He's just fucking cool. Look at him!" You get the idea.
I've been doing this for nearly five years now and I think I've caught his attention. My icon on Discord is Pazuzu, my tumblr header is "babygirl Pazuzu" and I've been looking at getting a replica of his Assyrian statue for my flat (I was also looking at tattoos but I want to get a Neo-Sumerian bull-man first because they're rad and I love cylinder seals!). I also got drawn to a snake necklace a couple of months ago during a pretty crap time of my life, I got the feeling that there was something being like "Chill, I got this" and it did.
But I do feel like there's something watching me while I run this "PR" and it isn't negative attention - more like the * insert You're doing amazing, sweetie gif here *. It just feels comforting and I've lately had some bad weeks (mh, losing my job, money issues, narcisstic family members, the state of the world especially towards trans people) and whenever I stand in the wind it feels comforting like a warm hug - it's nice.
I just need some advice, because I don't know what to do and I don't even know if it is anything at all.
If you read this, you're a champion and if you understood my ramblings honestly kudos to you.
Thank you!

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• sweetwheels

Sophie Wilson. She designed the architecture behind your phone’s CPU. She is also a trans woman.
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gifs

• _mywifeleftme

Some Yankees fans meet a squirrel
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• Photoelasticity

Flowing Glitter
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• UrgentlyUsed

Such a beautiful moment
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educationalgifs

• Allistair--Tenpenny

The cardiac cycle
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• maximum_decimum

Beans' tendrils slowly rotate to find solid supports to climb.
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mildlyinteresting

• PostComa

Ziploc now gives you fewer bags but puts them in a larger carton
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• GeometryInStatic

Dairy Queen sign informing people to not do drug deals in their parking lot.
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• EmptyRook

I found this box of fentanyl test strips in the local brewery’s bathroom
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interestingasfuck

• Spinanator

Using my hand to demonstrate how mosquitoes use heat to track prey
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• Specific-College-194

Tattoo that will give you a headache
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• the_unhappy_clown

Two engineers sharing a hug atop a burning wind turbine during their final moments.
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funny

• BasicRiff

“I’m on top of the liquor” - Mr. Lahey
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• Travelonaut

IMHO, the most underrated scene in Scary Movie 😂
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• Mick0331

I just Wile E. Coyote'd myself in the face with a dolly.
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aww

• PumpkinAutomatic5068

Did you know giant tortoises love head scratches?
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• pbmax542

Thankfully I saved this little guy from my lawnmower today.
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• Majorpain2006

View of dogs getting their picture taken mid-walk and the POV of their dog walker
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