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šŸ”„50% Off Code – $4.99 Eid Decorations for Home for Eid Al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha for Wall Door Yard Outdoor Sign submitted by cbvv1992 to DealAndSale [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 19:20 Adhesiveness3698 How do I tell her it's over

I(21) have been dating this women(21) for little over a year now and its turned bad. I moved in with her and when I did she quit her job and laid around, did laundry and that's about it while I went to work making $16 an hour. I'd come home and there would be a pile of dishes I would have to do, make dinner, clean, helped pay for her student loans once.
I'm aware I'm an idiot and I should have left when I could but love is blind I suppose.
After some issues with her landlord(her aunt), I moved and my mother wanted me to come back to her place to help out around the land they own. She begged me to ask them if she could too, I should have drawn the line there seeing how lazy she truly was. I tired to save the relationship with her and I doing what we want in a relationship and she could only think of 5 small things and I had a huge list of what I need and want my ambitions and dreams. She's failed to try and help out outside, she complained about helping to plant a garden, yes she pays $500 in rent but she can still help out
Everyone in my family doesn't like her and I honestly am just completely over the relationship after some issues like possible cheating, going out at all hours of the night to be with her friends, not working for over 10 weeks... I can kick her out but that would leave her without a place to go even though she has friends and family. she doesn't drive(to lazy to even try), I'm too much of a caring person and I just want to look her dead in the eyes and tell her to get lost.
Is there anyway I can "help" her move out? Like section 8 housing or should I just save some money and help her pay for a place by her work? I don't want to just kick someone I have a relationship with to the streets.
What do I do in a situation I made like this?
submitted by Adhesiveness3698 to Advice [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 19:17 TheRootMaster Can unpermitted sub-house/tiny-home be rented smoothly, legally?

Basically I rent out the main house, and live in a sub-house I call it - portion of the garage, and unpermitted room attached to the garage, and restroom, unpermitted. The plumming is all unpermitted.

It works great for me. It's like a slightly bigger tiny house. Can I in theory rent this out as a unit? Cuz I'd like to go on the road.... Will it get some government people upset that I'm doing it? I don't mind living with unpermitted utility hookups but, idk if there's an actual issue once it's rented out that would land me in a world of hurt? Probably just un-necessary fear, but I don't want a super huge fine for trying to rent it out...

Any advice on odd rental units like a tiny home? I've seen some even rent tiny homes via airbnb I believe, so it seems doable. This one is actually built into the home though... Ideas/advice?
If it helps, and you know relative info on it, I'm in Oregon USA
submitted by TheRootMaster to RentalInvesting [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 19:05 Firehead24 Issue with landlord.

Okay guys I want to keep this short and to the point
There is one meter shared between our bottom unit and the upper unit of this home. The upper unit is a 3 bed 2 bath to our 2 bed 1 bath.
This man is currently still in small claims after consecutive losses with our neighbor and it makes me worried of his intentions. Also the fact that if these were fixed rates, why is that just now being disclosed?
submitted by Firehead24 to legaladvice [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 19:00 Limp_Client9179 I'm asking for help, for the first time ever. What should I do?

Been on here for 10 years never asked for help, but now I need it.
My wife is leaving me and i'm sure a divorce / annulment is soon to come.
We have been together 8 years, married for 6 months. We recently bought a house, I put 100k of my own money down, and the mortgage is in my name. She is on the title as we were married when bought.
She says she wants nothing and wants to leave, and I've said I will not pursue a lawyer if she won't but I'm not sure her family will feel the same.
Will I owe alimony?
I make around 200k she makes 50k it's been this way for 2 years, we've never owned prior just always paid rent.
Can we get an annulment? If she lawyers up will she be entitled to any of the house? What if she just married me and this was her plan to leave once we had the house? We've been in the home for 3 weeks.
I'm just scared and not sure what to do.
Please advise
submitted by Limp_Client9179 to Divorce [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 18:59 TheLionElJonson The Dark Angels obsessing over the Fallen makes complete sense

It is very common for people to question the Dark Angels' obsessive hunt for the Fallen, and it's been happening more and more over the years as new lore is introduced showing that some of the other loyalist legions had traitors too. This has led some to become critical of the Dark Angels or even disregard them entirely. I believe this is absurd and those who hold this opinion should reconsider.
The most common example of a loyalist legion with an internal civil war is the White Scars. Above Prospero, the White Scars fought one another aboard their fleet over which side to join in the Heresy. It was only stopped by Jaghatai Khan himself. Detractors claim that this incident makes the Dark Angels hunting the Fallen appear as ridiculous since they weren't the only loyalists who had a civil war anymore, but one can only believe that if they omit all the circumstantial evidence in both conflicts.
The White Scars fighting one another is like two brothers punching each other in the car while their dad is in the grocery store. They rough one another up, maybe a chair gets damaged, but when dad gets back from the store he breaks it up and gives them a stern talking to. The permanent damage is negligible. The boys will heal and the chair is superficial damage.
The Dark Angels fighting one another is like returning home to find that your brother has gone mad and has started making blood rituals with demons. He turned your house into an evil fort designed to keep you out or kill you. Your dad helps you break in to confront your brother, only for him to ferociously attack you both with a knife. In the fight, you watch your brother stab your father in the chest before the water heater explodes and the entire house is eradicated. You're hurt badly, thrown into the grass outside. Your father is dead, your family's house was first disgraced and then destroyed, and your brother is nowhere to be seen, he escaped to continue his rampage of madness.
With these two analogical scenes for the White Scars and the Dark Angels, it becomes very obvious that comparing the two events is not just foolish but ignorant. They couldn't be any more different in terms of the consequences for their conflict. Before their father's return to the setting, the Dark Angels spent 10,000 years as the only legion that killed its own primarch. Even the traitors couldn't claim that. It doesn't help that their civil war happened right after the Siege of Terra, when the scars of Horus' rebellion were the freshest. Telling the Imperium about their legion being split in half by traitors resulting in the destruction of their home and the death of their father, the Dark Angels would have been broken apart and their marines given to legions like the Ultramarines or the Imperial Fists, or at least they would have been sanctioned heavily and had their authority restricted.
The Dark Angels are a traumatized chapter trying to do the right thing for 10,000 years. The obsession simply got to be too much by the time the Lion was going to return.
submitted by TheLionElJonson to 40kLore [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 18:56 0lamegamer0 Why are you buying homes at extreme prices?

I'm curious about current state of housing market.
Home prices doubled from 2019/2020 until June 2022. Then when interest rate started going up there was a minor dip and home prices are back to 2022 levels or more. During this time interest rate has gone up to 7%.
So basically a house that sold for 350k at 3% mortgage rate, is now going for 650K or more at 7% rate. A >3 times decrease in affordability in 3 years or less.
Accounting for inflation and shortage of inventory also it is way overpriced.
Rental vacancy rates are going up across the country. Too many rental units possibly.
I see houses listed at extreme prices and getting sold in couple of weeks. A lot of these same houses were listed for rent for several months and there were no takers despite multiple price cuts.
Consumers and renters are giving in and giving up any potential leverage just because of being impatient.
Just because we can afford the house doesn't mean it's correctly priced. Would you pay 10k for an iPhone today, just cause you can afford it? Or 10k a month bill for water in your neighborhood? Water is in fact needed to survive but you would rather move, cause it's not value for money.
I am just curious- Why are YOU as a home buyer still making these exorbitant offers above price? Why not wait? Why not move? Why not wait for a little cool down? Why are you ok spending 50% or more of your income on housing payment? Do you know that house will require maintenance? Do you know that bills will not go down? Do you know that property taxes and insurance will only rise? Do you know that hoarders cannot keep holding on to empty houses forever? Why do you think a home is worth 3 times or more (accounting for both price and interest increases) in less than 3-4 years.
This may sound like rant to many people, but it's not. It's genuine curiosity. We have been looking for homes in Austin for 6 months since we moved here and these are just my observations.
Would like to hear your thoughts.
submitted by 0lamegamer0 to FirstTimeHomeBuyer [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 18:53 landoproductions Can I pay rent to someone already renting their home?

I (20M) have come home from uni and won’t be returning till January. My parents rent their home, and have asked me to pay rent for the next 6 months. To clarify, I’m absolutely fine with that; it’s their home and they raised me for 20 years, it’s the least I can do. I’ll be working full time so I’ll be able to pay them easily. For context, they are renting their home from the council.
However, we got into an argument because they aren’t asking my older sibling (26F) to pay rent, despite her working full time and earning more. To make matters worse, she doesn’t contribute to anything around the house, she never cleans up after herself, she brings her friends round, and asks my parents to give her money to get alcohol and cigarettes. I know it’s intrusive but I looked at our weekly shopping bill, about 60% of the bill is for her, and in a house of five (including me and my younger sibling) I think it’s really selfish. My parents excuse for letting her behave this way is that she’s saving up for a house with her fiancĆ© in London.
I said that if I was to pay rent, I don’t want any of my money going to her. I want it to help with bills (shopping, electricity, gas etc.) and rent in general. I then then surely I would need to sign some kind of agreement or contract to pay rent. My parents disagreed.
I wouldn’t grass them up, I’m just genuinely curious what the rules/laws are in regards to something like this. I would feel much better about knowing I can actually help my parents with paying their rent instead of giving my sister more money to waste.
submitted by landoproductions to LegalAdviceUK [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 18:52 Lanky_Ad_3524 I lied about my poor background to fit in

I (F20) lied about my poor backgroung and upbringing to fit in.
Had the opportunity to meet and be part of a more upper middle class group last year. Since then my life has been a living rollercoaster.

I come from a poor family in a poor country. At our worst, which we hit a few times, we were not sure if we would have money for rent or food the next month. Last year I spent some time away from home in a very messy unexpected situation. I was frustrated and going crazy. Met some people that I thought I would never have the opportunity to. I lied about everything to fit in, my parents profession, where I live, what I study, where I study, places I have been to... the list goes on.

Since then I collect a bunch of new experiences and a completely new social group. I am not exactly proud of my lies but I do not feel very bad for them considering how unfair life can be. I think that maybe if you grew up in a very traumatic household or in poverty you were able to experience a similar feeling. These people have everything I ever wanted and I am not talking about money exclusively. Sometimes what makes me truly sad is when I see how they have a family that is able to emotionally provide and help them in the most basic ways.

I do not think the extension of my lies will go much further, so I have been thinking about ending it all by slowly distancing myself. I do not like my lies, whatsoever I like the things that they made possible for me.
submitted by Lanky_Ad_3524 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 18:52 0lamegamer0 Why are you buying houses at extreme prices?

I'm curious about current state of housing market.
Home prices doubled from 2019/2020 until June 2022. Then when interest rate started going up there was a minor dip and home prices are back to 2022 levels or more. During this time interest rate has gone up to 7%.
So basically a house that sold for 350k at 3% mortgage rate, is now going for 650K or more at 7% rate. A >3 times decrease in affordability in 3 years or less.
Accounting for inflation and shortage of inventory also it is way overpriced.
Rental vacancy rates are going up across the country. Too many rental units possibly.
I see houses listed at extreme prices and getting sold in couple of weeks. A lot of these same houses were listed for rent for several months and there were no takers despite multiple price cuts.
Consumers and renters are giving in and giving up any potential leverage just because of being impatient.
Just because we can afford the house doesn't mean it's correctly priced. Would you pay 10k for an iPhone today, just cause you can afford it? Or 10k a month bill for water in your neighborhood? Water is in fact needed to survive but you would rather move, cause it's not value for money.
I am just curious- Why are YOU as a home buyer still making these exorbitant offers above price? Why not wait? Why not move? Why not wait for a little cool down? Why are you ok spending 50% or more of your income on housing payment? Do you know that house will require maintenance? Do you know that bills will not go down? Do you know that property taxes and insurance will only rise? Do you know that hoarders cannot keep holding on to empty houses forever? Why do you think a home is worth 3 times or more (accounting for both price and interest increases) in less than 3-4 years.
This may sound like rant to many people, but it's not. It's genuine curiosity. We have been looking for homes in Austin for 6 months since we moved here and these are just my observations.
Edit: getting a lot of backlash from landlord and sellers. I get it market wouldn't be where it is if people aren't buying. Thats not my question. My question is to BUYERs. My question is why do you think these prices are justified.
submitted by 0lamegamer0 to personalfinance [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 18:52 tattoo_mom4 I guess my kids and I are gonna be homeless forever.

For the last 5 years life has been hell. It started with my now ex (also kids father) attempting to beat me to death. Then two months later our house and everything we owned burned down due to faulty wiring. So me and my kids moved to a new city and started over. Things were great until I was bitten by a brown recluse. I didn’t realize it had also became infected with MRSA. I ended up going septic and luckily was at the emergency room when my heart gave out. Since I was in ICU I couldn’t work, which meant I had to have someone move our stuff into storage. The apartment manager assured us everything was taken care of and not to worry. I only had a month left on my lease at that point. We have lived in motel rooms since I was released from the hospital. I have done everything I can to get us into a home of our own. It is incredibly difficult to save any money when I am paying for our room too. Then I kept getting turned down everywhere I applied. Remember when I was trying not to die well that apartment manager placed an eviction against my record. I can’t afford to apply to very many places as I Dont have the money but every place I have applied automatically denies me. I have taken papers showing what happened. I paid the months rent that was owed. My youngest turned 9 last month and all she said she wanted was her own room and a house that she can have friends over to play. I sold plasma for two weeks so I could apply to a house that the owner assured me he would work with me. I just got the denial email. I Dont know what to do. I work 2 jobs and I try to be a good person. I Dont have the heart to tell my babies we didn’t get the house. They’re such good kids and they deserve a home and a normal life. I can’t afford to keep staying in this motel and I can’t get anyone to rent me a home. The government housing has a three year waiting list and it hasn’t opened for new applicants in a few years. I have no family and I don’t really know anyone in this city. I just want my kids to be able to be kids. Honestly they’re the only reason I keep fighting to survive. I Dont know what to do at this point.
submitted by tattoo_mom4 to southcarolina [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 18:41 bowlderholder Planning a 9-day solo road trip in Aug, these are the only two main stops to check off my NP list! Any ideas of stops to add on or route to take back home? Car camping over hotel stays

Some added detail: I have 5 days to get to this airbnb outside of Gatlinburg, TN that my best friend rented for 3 days during this trip which I'll be staying at with her. I'm most likely only staying for the first 2 days (she's road tripping from our home state with her fiance) so that I can have 3 days to get myself back home. However, i plan to get to the smokey mountains possibly the day before to explore on my own and maybe camp the night before i meet with her somewhere in the park. Clingmans Dome is the only one on my list so far for that NP. Probably only going to do one day in the Hot Springs to check out a bathhouse experience. I'm open to any and all ideas for stops and trails! Nature gems specifically if you know of any, and of course food is key šŸ˜‰
submitted by bowlderholder to roadtrip [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 18:34 GenariGame Coining the GenariGame we all play

Welcome to the concept of the GenariGame (Generational Game).
A GenariGame encapsulates the societal script that subtly shapes our norms, systems, and expectations. It's as implicit as the belief that you should work eight hours a day, five days a week, because someone decided it was a good balance... and no one seriously questioned it since. This invisible game, passed down from generation to generation, influences every choice we make, every goal we set, and every challenge we face.
Look around and you'll find that we're all participants in the "Capitalist Carousel," a GenariGame where hard-working individuals find themselves on a continuous loop, often helping to amass wealth for a select few. If this game spins further out of control, we could find ourselves on a "Rental Runway," where escalating costs make home ownership an unreachable dream and push us further into perpetual renting.
There are less pleasant games too, like the "Iron Dictate" or the "Blood Diamond," that remind us of how much worse our GenariGame could become if we let it slip into extreme autocracy or rampant exploitation.
However, keep in mind that the GenariGame isn't something set in stone. It's a fluid concept, shaped by our collective decisions and actions. We're not just pawns; we are the chessmasters, the players with the power to change the game's course.
So, let's think about our next move. Will we let the Capitalist Carousel turn into the Rental Runway, or will we aim for something different? Perhaps a GenariGame like "HarmonyHive" where collective prosperity and cooperation become our new norm? Or maybe even the "EquilibriSphere" that seeks to balance justice, equality, and sustainability?
Remember, even if you ignore this term, the GenariGame will continue. You can choose to ignore it, but that's just part of the game too. Whether you're conscious of it or not, you're always a participant, playing along with the rest of us.
The GenariGame we set in motion now will be the legacy we pass on to the next generation. Our collective decision will shape their future playing field. So, what kind of game do you want to leave behind? Do we want our next GenariGame to be one of competition or cooperation, of exclusivity or inclusivity?
Are you ready to rethink the game? Because whether you want to or not, the game plays on.
What are your ideas or game theories on a new GenariGame we could all play?
submitted by GenariGame to GAMETHEORY [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 18:34 tattoo_mom4 I feel like giving up

For the last 5 years life has been hell. It started with my now ex (also kids father) attempting to beat me to death. Then two months later our house and everything we owned burned down due to faulty wiring. So me and my kids moved to a new city and started over. Things were great until I was bitten by a brown recluse. I didn’t realize it had also became infected with MRSA. I ended up going septic and luckily was at the emergency room when my heart gave out. Since I was in ICU I couldn’t work, which meant I had to have someone move our stuff into storage. The apartment manager assured us everything was taken care of and not to worry. I only had a month left on my lease at that point. We have lived in motel rooms since I was released from the hospital. I have done everything I can to get us into a home of our own. It is incredibly difficult to save any money when I am paying for our room too. Then I kept getting turned down everywhere I applied. Remember when I was trying not to die well that apartment manager placed an eviction against my record. I can’t afford to apply to very many places as I Dont have the money but every place I have applied automatically denies me. I have taken papers showing what happened. I paid the months rent that was owed. My youngest turned 9 last month and all she said she wanted was her own room and a house that she can have friends over to play. I sold plasma for two weeks so I could apply to a house that the owner assured me he would work with me. I just got the denial email. I Dont know what to do. I work 2 jobs and I try to be a good person. I Dont have the heart to tell my babies we didn’t get the house. They’re such good kids and they deserve a home and a normal life. I can’t afford to keep staying in this motel and I can’t get anyone to rent me a home. The government housing has a three year waiting list and it hasn’t opened for new applicants in a few years. I have no family and I don’t really know anyone in this city. I just want my kids to be able to be kids. Honestly they’re the only reason I keep fighting to survive. I Dont know what to do at this point.
submitted by tattoo_mom4 to confessions [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 18:33 psiiren House broken into, landlord boarded up entire house no access

For starters, we are located in Texas.
My roommates and I are in the process of moving and have been slowly transferring things to our new home over the course the last two weeks. We’ve been in and out of our current rental every couple of days.
Yesterday morning June 9th we came home to find one of our windows smashed and our home had been broken into. At the time we didn’t notice anything missing, but realized the thieves had stolen the smart home equipment that had come with the house. (That usually lets us know when someone enters or exits, but because it’s gone we had no idea). That morning we immediately called police, filed report, and let the landlord know.
This morning june 10th, we came home to try and finish cleaning move more stuff, only to find the ENTIRE house has been boarded up. Doors, windows. We have no access at AT ALL. currently trying to get in contact with leasing company with no response.
We don’t have personal renters insurance (I know, bad idea. I know better now and made sure to promptly add renters insurance for our new home). We pay a monthly fee for the property’s rental insurance, I’m not sure what’s going on with that.
I understand that it’s legal for landlord to secure the house, but can they completely bar our access as well? We paid our rent for this month still have personal property in the home :(
Thank you!
submitted by psiiren to legal [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 18:24 biscochitos 50% of take home pay on housing?

I’ve been able to rationalize this is my head but need neutral people to tell me if it’s stupid.
I’ve been renting (with my spouse) in a HCOL city for over a decade and sick of it. We want to own! But the only housing we’d ever buy would have a monthly payment of about half our take home pay.
I know it sounds bad! But we did the numbers and currently spend 25% or less of our take home every month on all expenses not including housing. So even if we use 50% on housing, we’d still have 25% or more to save.
We have the down payment, closing costs, and an emergency fund. Housing is our biggest priority in life so is it idiotic to spend half our take-home on it? I know this goes against even the most lax advice.
submitted by biscochitos to personalfinance [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 18:22 Puzzleheaded-Art5124 Seeking advice about next move

Hello all.
I will try to make this as brief as possible.
TL;DR: looking to embark on single motherhood, which adventure would you choose?
I am looking to end things with my partner and father of my almost 3-year-old daughter. We are not married. Things are not great between us and have not been great for some time. I have tried and tired and TRIED and he will NOT do therapy, he will NOT try medication or even see a doctor (for anxiety? Depression? idk). He is an okay father in that my daughter is physically safe with him, he can attend to her basic needs, and he is not careless with car seat/choking hazards/sunscreen/whatever. This is important because I want to paint a picture of him fairly. He has anger issues, yelling. Gaslighting. Road rage. He has never laid a hand on me but I’ve been very very afraid in his presence. It’s emotional abuse. What he does, I know this now. We are not intimate in the slightest. We haven’t said ā€œI love youā€ in over a year. Roommate status but surly roommates. I am not claiming I am perfect. But I do not have a temper. I am calm. I am an authoritative parent and supremely proud of how hard I work to emotionally regulate. It is HARD work.
I knew this was going to get too long before I even get to the advice I am seeking. I have a couple choices for how to proceed.
  1. My brother who I am very close with, is offering to take my daughter and I in. He is moving to a new town 2.5 hours away from where we currently live. I would only know him and his gf (I’ve lived with them before while house hunting, we get on great). This would mean leaving my job (I am a dental hygienist and a nanny who brings my daughter). But I would have for sure housing and we’d be looking for a duplex or large house with in law suite etc. all of our incomes together means we could live comfortably in this medium cost area. My brother only expects me to cover $500 a month in housing expenses for the foreseeable future. He knows my situation well and cares for me and my daughter of course. But, entirely new town, 2.5 hours away from my daughter’s dad.
  2. I can find a rental back in my home town where my dad lives. He is helpful and kind but unable to provide me housing right now. There are a handful of friends and relatives in the area that could help in a pinch. Rent is expensive for one income, $1400 is about right. I currently make $3300 a month. I would need to find new jobs there too but I know the area well. My home town is only an hour away from daughter’s dad.
  3. Stay in town where I have income already and find rental here. I have some friends but no family. Co-parenting would be easier. His family is all here and I would say that’s a con for me but perhaps a plus for my daughter. They aren’t terrible people just not helpful. Rent would be slightly cheaper but maybe $1200 at best.
I have no CC debt. I live frugally, my car is almost paid off. I will be eligible for food stamps and childcare help once I live alone in all of these scenarios.
I have no idea what he will choose to do for parenting…probably an every other weekend type arrangement would be his preference. I will seek child support. I don’t know how custody would pan out but I don’t think he will fight as long as she is still in his life. He does not want to be primary. I know things can get nasty and will prepare for the worst.
What would you do?
submitted by Puzzleheaded-Art5124 to Mommit [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 18:21 EV_3790 Decided to rent my current home and buy new, how to calculate CoC on home that will be rented?

I’ve tried to search but haven’t been able to find any clarification or maybe I’m just overthinking.
Bought my current home in early 2017, loan was for $300k and I put down $10k down. Refi’ed in 2021, no out of pocket expenses and everything was rolled into loan.
In all CoC calculators I’ve found they ask for closing costs and down payment info, should I include the original and refi closing cost and 10k?
Additional info, I still owe $277k, similar homes have sold for $485-$515k, and they can rent for up to $3015 a month. Current PITI is $2141 a month. This will be my first investment property.
Any guidance on how to calculate properly? If you have links I’d appreciate that too. Thanks in advance!
submitted by EV_3790 to realestateinvesting [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 18:09 Grand_Presentation32 Deaf Ears

I write poems to be read out loud.
Listened to for understanding
like a report card for gym class
how they rate me on my jumping jacks
my ability to pack a bag
clean a closet
collecting all my rent deposit
just to go out on a limb like
maybe something good will happen.
Cuz when they see a daring me
a braver me
a me that’s to my core—
then they’ll really see me
know me
know that I was real
that 20 years I spent away
from the country I was born
and I never learned the language
perhaps they’ll feel it in my voice.
I think thoughts to be written down
and recited for some reaction
like dandelions in a storm
how it waves and rarely changes form.
Cuz this is who I am
and I know it’s not that special,
but for some 50 lines,
in that time, they’re mine
and I try to make it matter.
Try to make it honest.
And somehow, I find I fail.
How all deaf ears just
fall on me
and that weight is far more real
than I could ever be.
Do I forget how to listen? How how to be heard?
How they told me this story in cheap english words:
All the rifles and bombs told them, ā€œbounceā€
now they raise all the children in one single house
so how do I learn how to matter?
I’m half-blooded. Privileged.
And nothing like you.
I was loved for no reason,
so I thought loving was easy,
and listening was, too.
I think thoughts to be written down
I write poems to be read out loud
I live life for the risk of your apathy
for the moments it’s worth just a chance—
to be seen for who I am.
And sometimes, I write to be silent.
And I think without sounds
like a dead circuit board
then i leave without saying goodbye.
It might take a few tries come back to life
to fade out with a song that will move them,
then we all get standing ovations,
and everyone’s shaking hands.
Where is my home without the pit of the noises?
The static and gurgles and snaps?
What do you get out of me?
I want to give you something better,
but this is all I have.
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2023.06.10 18:09 Known-Instruction721 Who is the best mafia protagonist.

Out of the three main characters in the magia series who's your favourite. The main characters are Tommy angelo, Vito scaletta and Lincoln clay. In many ways they're similar and also different aswell. Tommy clearly is trying to protect his family while also being in the mafia. By the end of mafia 1 he goes to jail but then after being released moves to empire bay under the protection of the police. Obviously that leads to his death. I feel like despite his motives there's not much of his family thought mafia 1. I didn't see a clear feeling towards his family when we barley see them. It's also implied he fought ht in ww1.
In mafia 2 Vito is a ww2 veteran coming home to empire bay. He gets involved in crime but clearly has a crime background. Despite all this in a way it feels like he's pulled into this because of that. It's great that returned in mafia 3 alongside Joe. Depending on the player he dies due to differences with Lincoln clay. It's nice how we see him fight in ww2 it goes to show his background and how he served with some of the characters. His character reminds me of al pacinos character in the godfather since they have a similar background and are around the same age.
In mafia 3 Lincoln clay is a vietnam war veteran coming home to new borbueax. He's motives are to get revenge on the mercano crime family for murdering his family. He acts like a bad ass throughout the entire game stopping at nothing to get his revenge. His character reminds me of denzel Washingtons character in American gangster since they're both black mobsters and manage to become powerful. Plus they are set in the same time period.
Overall my favourite is Lincoln clay because of how bad ass he is and he's quite different compared to Tommy and Vito being black. They all have one thing in common being mobsters but have different motives. The one downside to Lincoln clay Is that we never had a mission set in Vietnam which would've shown his relationship with Ellis and Donovan but nonetheless everything else is great. Let me know your thoughts.
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2023.06.10 18:01 capresesalad1985 Questions about French/Swiss Alps in November - help us figure out where to go!

Hi travel friends!
My husband and I have a week off work in November (3rd to the 12th would be our travel window).
We both love beautiful scenery, good food, wine and cheese. We plan on doing Paris for the second part of the week, so we want the first part to be a bit of a slower vibe with some nice hiking. So we are batting around a few ideas, one was Chamonix with Mont Blanc. The other was Lausanne and renting a car to drive to Lauterbrunnen since it’s the town that inspired the leaven city in LOTR (and looks absolutely stunning).
I’ve read in a few spots that the weather that time of year can be kinda crappy since it’s not warm summer and not snowy winter. But I’ve also read that being the slow season it will be less crowded.
Anyone have experience in that area and have a recommendation of a good home base and experience of the weather that time of year?
Much thanks!
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2023.06.10 18:01 paigfife UPDATE to I am planning on quitting in the next month. Is it wrong that I want NK13 to hear it from me first? - plus other stories

Here is the previous post where I asked if it was okay to tell NK13 I was quitting before telling NPs because I wanted her to hear it from me. Mixed responses, but ultimately it didn't matter because I got fired! Hooray. Honestly, I'm not too upset about it, her parents are dreadful.
Sorry in advance, this is a LONG one. TL;DR: NF paid me a salary instead of GHs, didn't reimburse mileage, and started asking me to work more and more hours than originally agreed. Tensions built up over time, it all came to a head in the past month and things became pretty hostile. My car broke down 2 weeks ago, it's been in the shop ever since. I'd been borrowing my sister's car up until Tuesday, but she needed it back. I had no problem getting to and from work, my husband could drop me off/pick me up, but I had absolutely no option for a car yesterday for driving NK to her activities. I told NPs that I didn't have any realistic options and they asked me to rent a car. I stood up for myself, said not unless they were reimbursing me for the rental, and MB got pissed off and told me to just stay home. This is when I decided I needed to quit. DB got home today after work and fired me. He claimed it had nothing to do with my car breaking down or about the car rental thing (yeah right) but that it was just time for NK13 to no longer have a nanny. I think it's true that she doesn't really need a nanny anymore anyway, but you really can't deny that timing. They asked me to finish out the month, so at least I'll have some cushion until I can find a job.
Now let me tell you everything that led up to this moment... It's better if I give you some background info first. I have been a nanny for only a short while; I babysat and did some part-time nannying in the past, but I only became an actual full-time nanny in Dec. 2021. I started working for this NF in May 2022, so a little over a year now. I also have a young son - he's 3.5 now but was barely 2 when I started.
I found this family by looking on a local childcare Facebook group. NF's previous nanny was helping them look for a new nanny because she had to leave. She actually also had a young child, so it was a very similar situation. She was very specific in her post (I still have the screenshot, so I'm certain) that they were looking for a nanny willing to work long hours in the summer and shorter hours in the school year for G12, and since she is an older child, it's more of a house managefamily assistant type job. Summer hours start at 7:30am and can last as late as 7:30pm - schedule was very variable because they are both physicians and never really know when they were able to leave - but often she'd be relieved before then, sometimes as early as 3 or 4 pm. School year hours were much more flexible, Old Nanny (ON) said she'd get there around noon since G12 was in school. She did her house management tasks, picked her up from school, cooked her dinner, and would be relieved soon after.
When I reached out to Old Nanny to apply for this position, I was already a little desperate. My previous NF had just told me they were putting G2 in daycare and wouldn't need me, I had been looking for families that would be okay with me bringing my son and no one was interested in that. So I was getting very worried about paying bills and needed something ASAP.
After I interviewed, they said they wanted to pay me a salary. This should've been my first big red flag, but again, desperate. They explained they thought that was better than hourly because they would often come home much earlier than they planned and didn't want me to lose out on money. I essentially thought that it was basically just guaranteed hours, and since they got home early most of the time, there was no way they'd take advantage of me! (spoiler: they did)
The next should've-been-red flag was that they didn't want a contract because they're so easy and flexible and that they would always work with me if I was sick or needed time off. (spoiler: they didn't)
The thing is, I *knew* all of this wasn't okay and were huge red flags. But I was naive and thought that wouldn't be an issue for me and this new family that seems soooo amazing. (lol)
Anyway, moving on... The first several months seemed really great! I was getting along amazingly with NK, we were still getting to know each other, and I was still getting acquainted with the job, but MB just seemed...disappointed with everything. Most of the house management type stuff was really closer to personal assistant stuff for her and she is very nit-picky and micromanage-y. She'd tell me pretty much daily that I missed a hanger or two when organizing her closet. She wanted all her laundry to be done at all times (this woman goes through more laundry than anyone I know). She repeatedly told me I needed to tri-fold the towels (I was tri-folding!). She also had these insanely long to-do lists for the both of us. Since NK was only 12, I had to pretty much supervise her to make sure it got done. MB would even remind me to make sure I am helping her. So now I had my to-do list and also NK's to-do list to complete. Of course, this is all while caring for 2 kids, taking the 2 big dogs for long walks around the block several times a day (because I wasn't allowed to let them in the backyard to pee), feeding all of us breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and chauffeuring NK to all of her activities. Even in my 10-12 hour shifts, I wouldn't always get everything done because there was just so much to do. But if I even left something to finish the next day, MB would passive-aggressively point it out and ask for it to get finished (of course I'm going to finish it, there's no need to remind me ugh).
Oh and the best part!!!!! I never got reimbursed for mileage. I asked for it once the first month that I worked there and DB has the freaking audacity to be like "you mean from your house??" Bruh NO for all the driving you make me do to cart your child around! He ended up giving me like 5 bucks because I took her to the airport once and I never heard a word about it again. I know I should've insisted....but again, naive and desperate.
Moving on, MB started to truly show her helicopter parenting side. Some of you may or may not remember my post from last year asking if I was wrong to refuse to monitor G12's bathroom time. The consensus was that I was not wrong and it was super weird of her mom to ask that.
Later, I found out from some things NK said that led me to believe that they were homophobic. You can really see the denial in this one. Ugh.
As time went on, things seemed pretty normal for a while. There were a couple of times I needed time off. The biggest was when my husband had a mental health crisis and I ended up in the ER twice with him - which I only took like 2 days off for btw. MB sent me this really kind and heartfelt email saying she's thinking of us and hope everything is okay. I (stupidly) decided to be honest and tell her that it was mental health-related thinking that she'd have some empathy. After I replied, I heard absolutely nothing from them about it. Not a single question as to his well-being or anything. The others were just for regular illness. I had covid once, adenovirus another time, and hand-foot-mouth the most recent. My son started preschool, so I was sick often, but only took time off for the big ones.
Sometimes I had time off because they went on vacation, but would just they never tell me when they were going on vacation. Definitely strange, but speaks more to their disregard for other people than to the actual job itself.
During the school year, I stopped coming in at 7:30am like planned. It varied depending on what was on the schedule for the day, but I'd get in between 10am-noon most days. Again, just like the job was described to me. They never told me any differently either - keep in mind this was still earlier than Old Nanny used to arrive for the day, so I was really working more hours than she used to.
At Christmastime, I thought I'd get a bonus. That was something Old Nanny had mentioned, she said they gave pretty generous Christmas bonuses, so I was looking forward to that. I didn't get a bonus at all, not even a single mention of one. But I didn't say anything because I felt weird about asking for one. This is when I started thinking maybe I wasn't doing something right or that they didn't like me. I asked them several times if they thought I was doing a good job, if they had any feedback, etc, but always said no that I was doing a great job. I could tell MB probably didn't particularly like me but that seemed more just personality differences. She even stopped nit-picking the hangers and towels thing.
Last month, they forgot my birthday. This one really hurt, ngl. My birthday is right before NK's and we've all talked about it several times before.
Finally, the major conflict... This is when I really felt like things were tense and I should start putting feelers out there for a new job. MB asked me to clean and organize the playroom. Now that sounds pretty normal for a house manager, but this playroom was completely destroyed. They had just had NK's bedroom remodeled for her 13th birthday and there were boxes upon boxes piled high (most filled with styrofoam and packing peanuts). Plus they had some of her old furniture in there as well. Plus TONS of toys that she clearly hadn't played with in many many years. Boxes and boxes of half-used crafts, puzzles, barbies, legos, crayons & markers, a whole sewing kit, and tons of baby books on the bookshelf. The part that really killed me was that she wanted me to have the whole thing completed by Friday - so I only had 4 full days to complete the entire playroom (I have every Wednesday off). She even said that I could pack all the books and old toys up to take to Goodwill... She wanted me to carry them down 2 flights of stairs BY MYSELF and pack them in the car BY MYSELF and take them to Goodwill or to a used bookstore to sell. After going through all the initial boxes the first day, I almost broke down in tears when DB came home and told him I just couldn't do it all by Friday. It was too much. I'm just one person and I almost slipped and fell down the stairs when I tried lugging the vacuum cleaner upstairs by myself, there's no way I could do boxes of heavy-ass books. He seemed understanding and said it was okay, but I'm sure it was all fake.
Then my 1-year work anniversary was also last month. I thought this would be a great opportunity to discuss how things are going. I asked NPs if they had any feedback for me or if I could be doing anything different. I tried everything to get them to say ANYTHING, but all MB said was "Well, NK loves you!!" Not a single useful bit of feedback. I ended up bringing up the playroom and said that I felt like her expectations were sometimes a bit too high. I tried to say this as nicely as possible, but it did not go over well. She basically just said, "Well that's what I hired you for." I ended the conversation by asking for a raise because it's been a year now and my job description has really been changing and they've been adding more and more hours on. I asked for an additional $300/month, and they countered with $150.
That night, MB texted me and asked what time I planned on coming in the following Monday. NK was still in school, so I responded with "around 10 am." She called me at 7:30 am (!!!) the next morning and asked why I was going in so late... I said well NK is still in school and that's my normal time. She ended up laying into me claiming that's never what they agreed to, she thought this whole time that I was coming in at 8 am every day (lies), and that no wonder I couldn't get anything done because I came in so late. I was taken aback, to say the least. I don't do well on the spot like that and I started crying (I'm a crier, I hate it) and was like well that's not what I was originally told when I was hired and that they never told me any differently. Also, this is the first time I've heard about not getting anything done. She started telling me that she hired me because she wants the house to look perfect by the time she gets home and it never looks perfect. There's always something left undone and it's unacceptable that I'm not coming in earlier to make sure it gets done on time. I told her that this was all news to me and that she never told me that she was unhappy, even after I asked them specifically to give me feedback. She said she doesn't like confrontation or having hard conversations so that's why she never told me. Which is definitely not my problem, that's on her. But I was too emotional at this point to say that and I ended up apologizing even though I know I didn't do anything wrong. She ended the conversation by saying I am expected to put in a full 40 hrs year round (but really she wants me to be available 12 hrs a day in case they get stuck at the hospital) and that she'll try to be a better communicator.
OH one thing that really stood out to me was that she actually said to me that they pay me a lot of money and they want to make sure they're getting their "money's worth." As if I'm a product. I've never felt so inhuman. For the record, they do NOT pay me a lot of money. They paid me $3700/month before my raise, which equates to $28/hr for 30 hrs a week. Seems reasonable. But she wanted me to start coming in for a full 40 hrs even during the school year, which would effectively lower my hourly equivalent to $22/hr. Even lower if you're counting needing to be "on-call" 48 hrs a week. NOT enough for the job I was doing, and especially not for a HCOL area.
Now the straw that broke the camel's back. My car. My poor car broke down more than 2 weeks ago. It's been at the dealership this whole time (I still don't have it back, hopefully today) and I've been getting away with borrowing my sister's and BIL's cars to drive NK around. I would have loved to borrow my husband's car, but his car is a manual transmission and I can't drive stick. My sister needed her car back this week, so I was able to borrow it up until Wednesday, meaning I'd be without a car Thursday and Friday this week. Just 2 days out of the two weeks my car was getting repaired. Wednesday night I texted NPs asking if I could use DB's truck to drive NK, but he had taken it because he went out of town. MB needs her car each day. I ran out of options and told them I didn't have any other realistic options and wasn't sure what else to do. I reiterated that I could still get to and from work each day with no issue, just couldn't drive NK to her theater practice. Which honestly is such a minimal part of my day anyway. Well, I suppose that was unacceptable and MB asked me to rent a car. The audacity of this request really threw me off... I replied "Will this be reimbursed since it's a work-related expense? If not, then no, I do not have the funds to rent a car." She said "No, I'm not paying for a rental car. Just stay home and I'll figure it out." These people make $100s of thousands of dollars each year..... $120 for a rental car is practically an entire day's worth of pay to me, but just a drop in the bucket to them. Why she thought it was acceptable for me to spend my own money to rent a car, but ridiculous for them to, is beyond me. I sent a thumbs-up and never heard anything back from them.
The next day (yesterday) I knew I had to quit, which is what led me to my most recent post. I still haven't found a replacement job so I wasn't just about to quit then and there. But it ended up not mattering because DB asked to pull me aside before I left yesterday to fire me. I told him that I thought it was really unfair to ask me to spend my own money to rent a car but he said that it was part of the job and if you're unable to do the job, then it's my responsibility to fix the situation. I replied saying that they don't even pay me mileage so I'm already paying out of pocket to drive THEIR kid around. He said that if they'd known it was such a big deal beforehand that they would've let me use his truck more often (I did mention it, but probably should've pressed the issue). I told him that it was not like I wanted my car to break down... He said this ultimately had nothing to do with the car thing (yeah right lmao) and that it's just time for NK to no longer have a nanny. Which I completely agree with, but the timing dude. Also, I was hardly a nanny at that point anyway, just a housekeeper and chauffeur.
In the end, I think the real reason they decided to fire me is because I had the audacity to stand up for myself and ask for a raise. The car thing just accelerated it. There were definitely some personality differences and I don't think MB really liked me to begin with, but she put up with me because NK loved me. But as soon as I started realizing my worth, I became too much to deal with.
SO ANYWAY... Here we are today and I am absolutely kicking myself for putting up with this for so long. Luckily, my son is in preschool full-time now, so I will have a much easier time finding a new job. I've been looking into agencies as well. I'm kind of relieved but also really sad that I won't see NK every day anymore. She is a very special kid.
submitted by paigfife to Nanny [link] [comments]