Weird sex terms urban dictionary

I've never had any female reproductive problems that I know of, but I always had irregular periods. I'm not trying for a baby and never have been, but I've never n Tried to not have a baby either. I've used protection a handful of times and have had a decent amount of partners I know we're std free. I've been on birth control twice, have had 3 long term partners, and I have never gotten pregnant. It's not like I'm wanting a kid right now, I'm pretty young. But the idea that I may not be able to have any frightens me. Some of the people I've slept with have children of their own now, idk. I don't know what to do. My Obgyn always says everything is fine. I haven't had a period since September when I got off Depo, in may, a day I had sex, I had bright red blood after it. Then nothing. Fast forward a month now in June last week, I spotted rusty brown blood for a few days. I thought for sure I was pregnant. Nope. All negative. Like I said I wasn't ttc but I wasn't trying not to either. The idea of being a mother so young frightens me but I think it would bring a sense of purpose to my life that I have never felt. I'm upset. I don't know what to do at this point. I don't do drugs, I have a really good job, and support system. Why can people with nothing have 5 kids but I can't even have one?

Hey guys! Let‘s start the story with me believing from a young age (12-13) that I just would never want to have sex. The thought alone just wasn’t appealing to me. Now (I‘m 19) I‘ve had a partner since I‘m 18. They were my first partner so they also were the first person I was sexually intimate with. In the beginning I really enjoyed being sexually intimate with my partner and it felt good but lately (about 4 months ago) I‘ve lost all sexual desire and the lone thought of having sex makes me feel weird and uneasy. We‘ve had some times sex in that period and it didn’t feel good nor did it feel bad. Now we haven’t had sex for almost a month due to me not wanting to get to intimate (deep kissing, touching in intimate places). I know that my partner needs all of this that it feels like a healthy relationship to him but I don‘t even miss it or need it at all.
I am simply confused if one can „get“ asexual after enjoying the intimate stuff beforehand.
I‘d be really thankful for some thoughts and opinions because if it really could be me not wanting to get intimate anymore, I would most definitely brake up with my partner because I don’t want them to get less what they deserve.

I need some relationship advice or just advice in general. I’ve (f26) been dating my (m33) boyfriend for a year. I really don’t know what to do. Every decision feels like the wrong one and I’m at an impasse. I love my boyfriend and I want to spend the rest of my life with him but he’s emotionally unavailable. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now. I fell In pretty quickly in the beginning but he warned me that he is emotionally unavailable and he thinks I should run. He has had a lot of trauma especially in the relationship department. He opened up to me about everything and I still decided to stay. To sum it up, he was wrongfully accused of raping his ex girlfriend. They dated for 4 years, ended on good terms and a year after she decides to come out on social media saying that for the past 4 years they never had consensual sex and that he raped her the entire time. Which I’m sorry I always believe the victim but really? I’m not buying it. In the year of our relationship nothing like that has EVER happened. There’s more to her story and to his but I’ll leave it at that.
I’m at an impasse because I feel like his emotional unavailability will not improve. Our relationship has been going on for a year but it really hasn’t progressed. I feel like I’m asking for the bare minimum and still not receiving it. He’s just not emotionally there for me. He doesn’t tell me he loves me, calls me beautiful, makes me his priority etc. (just basic relationship things) I want to add that I know he loves me, I see the way he looks at me, people we know see the way he looks at me and they always say “he’s inlove” We’ve been in this rough patch that seems never ending. I brought up needing more from him in January and we’re now in June. We keep having these talks but nothing seems to improve? We have this talks every month and there has been no change. It sometimes feels like he’s happy being miserable and doesn’t want to change. I don’t come from a place or trauma so for me it’s easy to say go to a therapist but i understand that he needs to get to that point. I have my cousins wedding next week which is out of town and he changed his mind about it. I’ve been pretty salty about it because it was important for me. It was a perfect time to see my family and my friends. He says that if this was the other way around he wouldn’t care but if something is important to you don’t you want your partner to make it important to them as well? Am I crazy or is that right? I just feel like I would do anything for him but when it comes to what’s important to me he doesn’t. He claims that his ex pretty much made it all about her and he had no choice but to do what she wanted. She pretty much didn’t allow him to say no and she took him away from the people he loved. He feels guilty and that he missed so much because she secluded him. The wedding invitation and wanting him to go because it’s important to me obviously caused some trauma flare up for him and he doesn’t want to repeat history which I would never allow. I would never control him or take him away. I encourage healthy relationships with loved ones and to see them all the time because I am family oriented. A relationship is 50/50 and it’s not all about one person.
He’s met my family when they’ve visited and he’s had a great time and my family loved him. So yes we have progressed in a way but just not as much as I would like. I have yet to meet his parents and sister and every time I bring it up he unintentionally makes me feel like I’m asking for so much. He keeps saying it’s going to happen but it never does. I keep encouraging him by saying “hey text your parents let’s have dinner” and he says that I’m telling him what to do and forcing him. It’s been a year now and he has said I love you maybe 4 times? I say it to him and you can see him sink and the anxiety in his eyes. He says he does but it’s hard for him to reciprocate that. And once again I’ll add that I do know he loves me. I just need to hear it and be validated. He just feels like he’s not worthy of being loved and that he doesn’t understand why I want to be with him or love him so much. He says he wants a future with me but it’s hard for him to say. Obviously I need validation and maybe I’m coming from an anxious attachment style. This past month has been the worst yet. Everything sets us off and we keep going in circles about this conversation. we really haven’t seen each other a whole lot and it’s just awkward. He says he doesn’t want to get married but I do. He doesn’t believe in it and doesn’t understand why it’s necessary. I do love him so much so I would sacrifice not getting married just to be with him. But my friend got engaged and I have a pit in my stomach because I do want that and I will never get that as long as I’m with him. We had the kid talk and we’re both unsure. He probably leans towards no where I lean towards yes. Will he ever change his mind? Am I hoping that we’ll eventually get to the point in our relationship where having a baby feels right? Am I delusional thinking he’ll change? Will we date 6 years just for it to be a hard no in the end? I tell myself he doesn’t want these things because of trauma but if he goes to therapy he’ll change his mind but does that make me delusional again?
I don’t know what to do. I love him so much and quite honestly I know he does too regardless of he says it or not. It feels like a one way street because he’s not giving me what I need. He knows how amazing of a person I am. He feels like he’s at an impasse as well because he’s stuck between letting me go because he feels like he may never change or staying with me because he’s in love with me. I feel anxiety thinking about breaking up with him because I don’t want that. I feel anxious about staying with him because I feel like things will never change. What do I do? Every scenario seems wrong. Is there a black and white answer? Do I stay with him and worry about things changing? Do I end things and be heartbroken because I’m missing the love of my life? Do we need some major counselling? Is there a way to make this work? Are we just not the right people for each other? Will things change and it just needs time? What do I do. I do not want to breakup with him what so ever but is that my only option? Please help me.

I (47M) have always enjoyed the idea of sex and sex itself. As a child I fantasized about Wonder Woman (Linda Carter). I would even find myself aroused as as a 6 or 7 year old while watching the show. As an early teen or just prior and even through high school, the neighbors grandson would come over or I would.go over there and we always would found our selves experimenting on each other sexually. We were never in love with each other but just liked to cum, kissing wasn't an option. All during this time he and I always had girlfriends who we were sexual with. I think my first time having sex with a female was in the 8th grade (in the church bathroom no doubt). In college, I met the love of my life and we have now been married 23 years. She is awesome. Both being raised in the church, neither of us really explored the fringes of sexuality and stayed in the "normal" world. I would occasionally watch porn and masturbate, scared of her response. I am not real sure if she did the same but I do know on a few occasions we would wake up in the middle of the night and would have sex while two females were having sex on TV and then go back to sleep with little conversation afterward. The surprise of my life happened several years ago when she had an affair with another woman. It about tore us apart but we have worked through it. Surprisingly, all three of us have. Sadly, what they experienced at that time, I have not been able to get any action from it. However, we both talk about it, fantasize about it and then have amazing sex. She longs for both relationships to work but it really isn't practical since she is also married and he has no clue. Since the affair, my wife and I have become very open to each other and we both want to bring in another couple or single person. I think we are both too chicken to do it. I want to have sex with another woman or man and she would be open to the same thing. We both love sex and are turned on by sex of all kinds. We consider ourselves straight but have extremely high desires to have sex with different genders. Are we truly bi? Or are we just straight people that want to have sex with folks that we can also have a sexually comfortable relationship with? What are we? Are we weird?

Hey all - looking for advice on how to handle an intrusive thought loop which is essentially destroying my sex life and putting me in a really difficult place in my long-term relationship.
I've always struggled with overthinking during sexual encounters with others, but over the last months, I have unconsciously been building up a routine in my head about not wanting to have sex with my long-term boyfriend. I think this has been initiated by him having a higher sex drive than me in the last years, so I've been trying to consciously check in with myself on whether I might have some desire for it, paying too close attention to what should be natural feelings. Now, as soon as I get close to him, there is a loop which goes something like this: "he's getting turned on, and I am too right? Am I? How do I feel? What happens if I don't feel it? Am I going to have to reject him again, then we're going to argue..." etc, along with feeling horrible in advance for rejecting him. For a long time, I made more and more excuses and tried to avoid getting close so often, then got to the point where I felt like I wanted to avoid seeing him at all to be able to avoid this difficult situation. This routine that I want to avoid him or make an excuse has completely obliterated my ability to know how I actually feel or whether I want to do anything with him at all.
This finally came out with him very recently when he realised I was tracking the number of times we did it a month (in order to try and keep a bare minimum OK amount) and obviously was horrified, and I finally had to confront it myself. We had arguments, then a big talk, and decided to try and take the pressure off and just take sex off the table and enjoy kisses and non-sexual physical contact together. But that isn't enough to stop the loop - it is still there whenever we kiss and I can feel him getting turned on, since of course this solution can't last forever. He can be extremely kind and understanding, but this has still resulted in some really bad arguments (he has some different beliefs than I do about what is an OK way to solve this situation), which gives more substance to the "negative consequence" part of the loop.
Every day that goes past without us being together, the pressure builds and makes the whole thing worse. As soon as I'm alone, I feel like might want to, but as soon as we're together, the loop ruins everything.
Please help with advice if you have any! So hard to know how to get over this without essentially just trying to force myself into it despite my head not being in it.

I also have more vanilla and kinky posts on my profile if you want to get to know me better!
Looking for short term, or long term.
I am looking for someone between the ages of 18 and 26 years old (bonus points if you are in college as well!). I could go higher if you look younger. I believe physical attraction is very important so Here is my type. My preferred type is petite/skinny/average. I’m not a fan of massive features like a big ass or large breasts. I definitely have a big big size kink and love to make woman feel small when she is around me, so If you are small, and have small features, don’t be afraid to hit me up! Small women need love and I’m here to give you all of it!
Please do not let my age make you think that I am not prepared, mature enough or have the experience to be looking for something like this. I have had to mature much quicker for much longer than anyone in my age range. I am very stable emotionally and mentally. I have experience in dynamics, especially 24/7 dynamics. I have been in 24/7 dynamics for a while now and I have been learning of BDSM for even longer.
I am 21 years old and located in Boston. I would like someone who is in Massachusetts or the surrounding New England area because I really need someone who I can be in person with. I am open to long distance, but it will have to be in person eventually and you must be open to relocating if everything goes well. The closer to Boston, the better! To those who care, I am a Virgo. I absolutely have a sort of size kink if you can call it that. I am a very tall and pretty muscular person so I already am larger than most people I see, but I love it when my partner is much smaller than me. I am 6”5 and I weigh about 230 pounds (think perfect linebackeViking build). I have dark brown hair and hazel eyes. I am white with a slight tan. I stay active and am in pretty decent shape. I don’t have any fat on me except for a little bit in my stomach so I suppose you could say I have a bit of a dad bod. Which, I have been working out for a bit now and am working on that, so much so I am seeing improvement. On the plus side of that, it only means I am bulking up now!
I really can do any dynamic, be it a soft DDLG dynamic or a sadistic M/S dynamic.
I’m looking for a 24/7, dynamic, I very much love And enjoy TPE, but it’s not a must. I am a sadist so if you are a masochist, big bonus points to you. I am also a brat tamer if that’s what you are looking for. I am an EXTREMELY kinky person so my only limits (I understand if red flags go up, but it’s true) are: ilegal, minors, scars, animals, permanent marks, furry and pegging. That I can think of.
My absolute favorite kinks in no particular order are: Anal (probably my biggest kink), Ownership, free use, CNC, TPE, orgasm control, sleep play, denial, breeding, fisting, watersports, bondage, deepthroat, punishment, training, breath play, slapping, predicament bondage, overall really rough sex, spitting, praise, worship, Cockwarming, i LOVE temperature play. I have a big oral kink, corruption, misogyny, DDLG, collaring, praise, worship, objectification, 1950’s style, impact play!, de bimboification and bimboification (I’ll explain that one in private), objectification, pain, sexual pain, protective sadism. Here is an example of that:
The Dom put clothespins all over his sub's vulva and thighs and then fucked her. As she's whimpering he tells her to hug him and to hold on tight (making things even worse for her by pressing down on the clothespins). So gentle and sweet about it while inflicting pain.
just an overall use of someone like a set of holes for my pleasure and my pleasure only, and that’s about all I can think of for now, but I have many more favorites. I’m into basically every thing lol
I do highly regard the happiness, health/mental health of my partner and communication as #1 for a dynamic.
Side note: I have an extremely high sex drive. Hypersexual if you will, but don’t worry it’s not in an unhealthy way that causes issues with any bit or my personal life or anything like that. I just have a high drive and am down for anything so if you are the same or willing to handle my drive that would be amazing!
Congrats on making it this far!! I know that was a lot to read, but I truly thank you for taking the time to read this. I am a normal human being and I definitely have a very soft side if you ever thought I didn’t. I can’t wait to hear from you!

I also have more vanilla and kinky posts on my profile if you want to get to know me better!
Looking for short term, or long term.
I am looking for someone between the ages of 18 and 26 years old (bonus points if you are in college as well!). I could go higher if you look younger. I believe physical attraction is very important so Here is my type. My preferred type is petite/skinny/average. I’m not a fan of massive features like a big ass or large breasts. I definitely have a big big size kink and love to make woman feel small when she is around me, so If you are small, and have small features, don’t be afraid to hit me up! Small women need love and I’m here to give you all of it!
Please do not let my age make you think that I am not prepared, mature enough or have the experience to be looking for something like this. I have had to mature much quicker for much longer than anyone in my age range. I am very stable emotionally and mentally. I have experience in dynamics, especially 24/7 dynamics. I have been in 24/7 dynamics for a while now and I have been learning of BDSM for even longer.
I am 21 years old and located in Boston. I would like someone who is in Massachusetts or the surrounding New England area because I really need someone who I can be in person with. I am open to long distance, but it will have to be in person eventually and you must be open to relocating if everything goes well. The closer to Boston, the better! To those who care, I am a Virgo. I absolutely have a sort of size kink if you can call it that. I am a very tall and pretty muscular person so I already am larger than most people I see, but I love it when my partner is much smaller than me. I am 6”5 and I weigh about 230 pounds (think perfect linebackeViking build). I have dark brown hair and hazel eyes. I am white with a slight tan. I stay active and am in pretty decent shape. I don’t have any fat on me except for a little bit in my stomach so I suppose you could say I have a bit of a dad bod. Which, I have been working out for a bit now and am working on that, so much so I am seeing improvement. On the plus side of that, it only means I am bulking up now!
I really can do any dynamic, be it a soft DDLG dynamic or a sadistic M/S dynamic.
I’m looking for a 24/7, dynamic, I very much love And enjoy TPE, but it’s not a must. I am a sadist so if you are a masochist, big bonus points to you. I am also a brat tamer if that’s what you are looking for. I am an EXTREMELY kinky person so my only limits (I understand if red flags go up, but it’s true) are: ilegal, minors, scars, animals, permanent marks, furry and pegging. That I can think of.
My absolute favorite kinks in no particular order are: Anal (probably my biggest kink), Ownership, free use, CNC, TPE, orgasm control, sleep play, denial, breeding, fisting, watersports, bondage, deepthroat, punishment, training, breath play, slapping, predicament bondage, overall really rough sex, spitting, praise, worship, Cockwarming, i LOVE temperature play. I have a big oral kink, corruption, misogyny, DDLG, collaring, praise, worship, objectification, 1950’s style, impact play!, de bimboification and bimboification (I’ll explain that one in private), objectification, pain, sexual pain, protective sadism. Here is an example of that:
The Dom put clothespins all over his sub's vulva and thighs and then fucked her. As she's whimpering he tells her to hug him and to hold on tight (making things even worse for her by pressing down on the clothespins). So gentle and sweet about it while inflicting pain.
just an overall use of someone like a set of holes for my pleasure and my pleasure only, and that’s about all I can think of for now, but I have many more favorites. I’m into basically every thing lol
I do highly regard the happiness, health/mental health of my partner and communication as #1 for a dynamic.
Side note: I have an extremely high sex drive. Hypersexual if you will, but don’t worry it’s not in an unhealthy way that causes issues with any bit or my personal life or anything like that. I just have a high drive and am down for anything so if you are the same or willing to handle my drive that would be amazing!
Congrats on making it this far!! I know that was a lot to read, but I truly thank you for taking the time to read this. I am a normal human being and I definitely have a very soft side if you ever thought I didn’t. I can’t wait to hear from you!

I also have more vanilla and kinky posts on my profile if you want to get to know me better!
Looking for short term, or long term.
I am looking for someone between the ages of 18 and 26 years old (bonus points if you are in college as well!). I could go higher if you look younger. I believe physical attraction is very important so Here is my type. My preferred type is petite/skinny/average. I’m not a fan of massive features like a big ass or large breasts. I definitely have a big big size kink and love to make woman feel small when she is around me, so If you are small, and have small features, don’t be afraid to hit me up! Small women need love and I’m here to give you all of it!
Please do not let my age make you think that I am not prepared, mature enough or have the experience to be looking for something like this. I have had to mature much quicker for much longer than anyone in my age range. I am very stable emotionally and mentally. I have experience in dynamics, especially 24/7 dynamics. I have been in 24/7 dynamics for a while now and I have been learning of BDSM for even longer.
I am 21 years old and located in Boston. I would like someone who is in Massachusetts or the surrounding New England area because I really need someone who I can be in person with. I am open to long distance, but it will have to be in person eventually and you must be open to relocating if everything goes well. The closer to Boston, the better! To those who care, I am a Virgo. I absolutely have a sort of size kink if you can call it that. I am a very tall and pretty muscular person so I already am larger than most people I see, but I love it when my partner is much smaller than me. I am 6”5 and I weigh about 230 pounds (think perfect linebackeViking build). I have dark brown hair and hazel eyes. I am white with a slight tan. I stay active and am in pretty decent shape. I don’t have any fat on me except for a little bit in my stomach so I suppose you could say I have a bit of a dad bod. Which, I have been working out for a bit now and am working on that, so much so I am seeing improvement. On the plus side of that, it only means I am bulking up now!
I really can do any dynamic, be it a soft DDLG dynamic or a sadistic M/S dynamic.
I’m looking for a 24/7, dynamic, I very much love And enjoy TPE, but it’s not a must. I am a sadist so if you are a masochist, big bonus points to you. I am also a brat tamer if that’s what you are looking for. I am an EXTREMELY kinky person so my only limits (I understand if red flags go up, but it’s true) are: ilegal, minors, scars, animals, permanent marks, furry and pegging. That I can think of.
My absolute favorite kinks in no particular order are: Anal (probably my biggest kink), Ownership, free use, CNC, TPE, orgasm control, sleep play, denial, breeding, fisting, watersports, bondage, deepthroat, punishment, training, breath play, slapping, predicament bondage, overall really rough sex, spitting, praise, worship, Cockwarming, i LOVE temperature play. I have a big oral kink, corruption, misogyny, DDLG, collaring, praise, worship, objectification, 1950’s style, impact play!, de bimboification and bimboification (I’ll explain that one in private), objectification, pain, sexual pain, protective sadism. Here is an example of that:
The Dom put clothespins all over his sub's vulva and thighs and then fucked her. As she's whimpering he tells her to hug him and to hold on tight (making things even worse for her by pressing down on the clothespins). So gentle and sweet about it while inflicting pain.
just an overall use of someone like a set of holes for my pleasure and my pleasure only, and that’s about all I can think of for now, but I have many more favorites. I’m into basically every thing lol
I do highly regard the happiness, health/mental health of my partner and communication as #1 for a dynamic.
Side note: I have an extremely high sex drive. Hypersexual if you will, but don’t worry it’s not in an unhealthy way that causes issues with any bit or my personal life or anything like that. I just have a high drive and am down for anything so if you are the same or willing to handle my drive that would be amazing!
Congrats on making it this far!! I know that was a lot to read, but I truly thank you for taking the time to read this. I am a normal human being and I definitely have a very soft side if you ever thought I didn’t. I can’t wait to hear from you!

So, I am on a tight budget, this is going to be my second car ever and my first NEW car. The other being a very good ultra-cheap deal I made on an old VW.
I am just graduating and starting my first job (am in europe, no student-debt, but also not big budget), I really like mazda's and have driven the cx-3 and cx-5 (driving school and other people).
I am going to buy a Mazda2, however I was wondering what the difference in engine-design is between the 75bp and 90bhp version. I will be doing a job that will require me to be on the highway a lot, driving 100-130km/h. Would this kind of use, require the higher-power version?
I don't expect high acceleration or sports-like behavior. I enjoy sporty cars, but I don't have the budget for it and this is my first car, I want be careful and calm with it.
I just find it weird that the same 1.5l engine design can result in a 15bhp difference? Were there things "cheaped out on" in the 75bhp version making it less powerful, or is the 90bhp version just an"overclocked" version in computer terms (I'm an IT-guy, sorry)

I grew up with one brother who's about 10 years older than me. We were very close and in many ways he raised me. My mother had me when she was in her late 40s and was struggling to provide so I didnt spend much time with her. I don't have any female relatives and growing up we moved long distances almost every 2-3 years so I didn't have a chance to make any long term relationships with other women.
I'm now in my 20s and I'm extremely intimidated by other women. Not in a way where I'm envious of their physical beauty or anything like that, I genuinely just want to be able to connect with them so much so that I think I may be too in my head when I speak to them. And when I talk to a woman that presents more femininely this gets even worse.
I'm very good socially with men. I think its because I don't care at all what they think and im just used to it since I was always around my brother. The only thing I've been able to talk to the girls at work about is my fiance because that usually opens up the door the topic of dating which is pretty easy to make conversations about. Im too nervous to talk about things I like because I don't want them to think I'm weird. But I think the opposite is happening where they think I'm either too aloof or creepy if I'm being too nice. I know I'm overthinking this lol
Does anyone have any tips for me or is anyone in a similar situation? Ive tried to talk about this with my brother and my fiance but they dont get it. I think I just need to hear some advice from other women.

Memory transcript subject: Tal, Venlil Space Corps
Date [standardized human time]: December 31, 2136
This was it. Since the incident at Sillis, humanity had gathered as many allies as they could and prepared to confront the federation, and in a few moments, I would be exiting subspace in orbit around Aafa.
By all rights, flying solo into this conflict should have terrified me. Instead, it just felt surreal. Really, I should have been vaporized by an antimatter bomb on the surface of Sillis, but a twist of fate— an unprecedented intervention led me here instead. Now, I was given a chance to scratch one more item off my bucket list, though not quite in the way I had hoped.
I dropped out of FTL, and the rest of Venlil Prime’s contribution to the fleet was close behind. As the Venlil ships joined the attack, I took in the situation before me. Most of our fleet consisted of human ships, however, they were interspersed with vessels from several other species including Mazics, Zerulians, Harchen, and even a few Thafki.
Already, the Kolshians were preparing to meet our advance; I didn’t have much time.
Quickly, I switched FTL configurations and began preparing to travel into subspace once again. Now, I just had to wait.
Up ahead, the two fleets were about to meet when suddenly, the humans’ allies panicked. A large portion of the non-human ships had broken formation, though luckily, they seemed to be recovering quickly. Several UN vessels followed the diverging ships and our fleet was divided into two. In response, the Kolshians split their fleet as well.
At first, I wasn’t sure what all the commotion was about, but it quickly became obvious: the ships that remained on their original course were fighting the Arxur.
There was no mistaking it, the space between us and the Kolshians was filled with Arxur vessels. They were scared, disoriented, and shooting at anything that moved.
As they began taking fire from UN ships, the Arxur sent out a hail.
“You! Humans! What trickery is this!?”
I recognized the huntress’ voice. In the aftermath of Sillis, I had listened to her transmission threatening to make cattle out of humans.
Looks like we found the rest of Shaza’s fleet.
Immediately, this led to more questions.
Was her fleet sent into the future, or had they just been in subspace this entire time?
Were the humans really sure that what I was about to do was safe?
We opted not to send a response, and the only reply offered by the Kolshians was a barrage of rail gun fire. Shaza and her army were getting sandwiched between the opposing fleets.
Stars, I really was spending too much time around Nick.
It wasn’t long before the human alliance and the Kolshians were fighting directly, and it quickly became apparent that the federation had been holding back all this time. Many of their ships were designs that had never been seen before, and they remained unusually composed despite the stress of battle. To top it all off, the Kolshians had us outnumbered significantly. If this worked, however, none of that would matter.
The FTL drive was ready. Immediately, I laid in my course and entered subspace.
Almost instantly, I felt a sickening jolt. The sound that resonated through my ship reminded me of the time Nick accidentally left a spoon in the microwave, and then everything went white.
When Q made Shaza’s fleet disappear, they were thrown into subspace despite the presence of FTL disruptors. Not only that, but there was no indication as to where they had gone. If such an event could be duplicated, the strategic advantage would be obvious, and so the UN’s scientists immediately got to work.
Having sensor readings from when the incident occurred certainly sped things along, but it seemed to me that all the humans really needed was to know that it was possible.
Slowly, I regained my senses. My ears were ringing and my head still hurt, but at least the vertigo had started to clear up. As the dizziness subsided, I suddenly understood what I was seeing out of the viewport:
Clouds!
The humans’ modifications to my drive had worked! Though it certainly wasn’t pleasant, I had passed through the Kolshians’ FTL disruptor field and appeared in Aafa’s lower atmosphere.
As I reduced my altitude, the capital city became visible. Even though the weather was partially overcast, the buildings, all made of glass and metal and constructed in unique, artistic shapes, glittered in the sunlight. The urban landscape below was dotted with patches of green giving credence to the planet’s name Aafa, meaning ‘Garden.’
I made sure the payload was ready and then dived down even lower. I made a pass directly over the city and, when I was in clear view of the School of Flora, I activated the release mechanism and triggered the remote ignition.
Dozens of projectiles flew out from underneath my ship. They spireled around chaotically before detonating and spewing a shower of bright red sparks.
There was no way I had not been seen, so now I just had to wait and hope the Kolshian fleet would get the message.
I began to climb in altitude, and as I did so, I kept an eye on the status of the unfolding battle using my ship’s sensors. It took a while, but eventually, something happened.
The Kolshian fleet doubled back. They turned away from their attackers and began making their way in my direction, rushing to defend Aafa.
As soon as this happened, the humans began broadcasting on an open channel:
“This is commander Fortin of the United Nations fleet, please respond.”
He was met with silence.
“You are no doubt aware that we have breached your defenses, however, we are willing to discuss the terms of a ceasefire, please. respond.”
Again, there was no reply.
As the Kolshian fleet neared the planet, a portion of its ships suddenly changed course. It was the ships that were believed to be autonomous, they all suddenly stopped in place, anchoring their position relative to Aafa. The allied fleet simply flew past them with neither firing on each other.
“I repeat, we are willing to negotiate for a peaceful—”
Commander Fortin was cut of by the voice of Nikonous:
“What did you drop on us?!”
“Chief Nikonous, as I said, we are requesting—”
“Spare the pleasantries predator, tell me what you did!”
“They were fireworks, sir,” Fortin said. “Completely harmless, however they could just as easily have been antimatter warheads, next time they will be. We have the ability to circumvent your FTL disruptors and therefore you cannot defend yourself from such an attack, however, as I told you before, we are willing to discuss the terms of a ceasefire.”
Chief Nikonous did not respond, and after an awkward silence, the commander continued.
“We request that you end all hostility with Earth as well as its allies. Assuming that the federation takes no military action against us, we will do the same.”
“This is unacceptable,” Nikonous replied. “I cannot simply allow more federation worlds to fall into your corruption. Your ‘allies’ fall within our purview.”
“Frankly, you aren’t in a position to demand something like that. Our terms are more than reasonable, and we will not be making concessions.”
“And what of the Arxur? Aren’t they your allies too now? Am I supposed to do nothing about the ones who would see us all dead?”
Like you’ve done anything at all before! I thought to myself.
Commander Fortin, however, gave a very simple response:
“The dominion no longer exists,” he said flatly.
After another long pause, Chief Nikonous huffed.
“Very well, I will consider your request.”
With that, the channel went silent. By this point, I had reached the upper atmosphere of the planet. It was surreal. The battle had stopped completely and the UN fleet was preparing to leave.
I was just about to begin charging my own FTL drive when I noticed something odd. One of the Harchen ships that fought alongside the UN was now barreling forward. Commander Fortin’s voice sounded over the comms channel once again:
“Harchen vessel, please return to formation. Do not engage, I repeat, do not engage!”
The ship continued on its path directly towards Aafa, and even stranger, the Kolshian fleet did nothing to stop it.
Something was off…
As I realized that the Harchen ship was headed in my direction, I moved to intercept.
I was just about to hail them when they opened fire. I was hit before I could react.
Quickly, I tried to shake their target lock, however, my ship’s engines had taken damage limiting my maneuverability.
After managing to establish a target lock of my own, I returned fire. The shots were intended only to disable the vessel, however upon connecting, the ship exploded violently.
It was carrying antimatter bombs. That was the only reason I could think of for the explosion I just saw. Unfortunately, I was beginning to lose altitude and didn’t have time to worry about why the Harchen ship was carrying warheads nor the amount of radiation I had just been exposed to.
The engines were not doing well, however, as I fell down to the surface, I managed to flip my ship around and regain some amount of control.
The landing was not nearly as gentle as I would have hoped, however the hull stayed together and the inertial dampers absorbed the brunt of the impact.
I did a quick survey of the situation. Looking out of the viewport, it appeared I had crashed somewhere outside of any of the Kolshian cities, however I could also see that civilization was not far away.
Turning myself in to the Kolshians seemed like a very risky idea, and I also very much doubted that anyone sided with the humans would be allowed to come rescue me, so I figured my best bet was to try and repair my ship as best I could.
I made my way to the back of the ship and opened the doors to the outside world.
As the ramp extended down to the ground, I spotted a Venlil waiting for me at the bottom; or rather, something that looked like a Venlil.
“Q?” I said nervously.
“Don’t worry, I just want to talk. I promise I won’t bite. ^{unless you ask nicely.} ”
Apparently, Q had ditched his extermination officer attire and, for some reason, gotten his fur dyed. The fur on top of his head now had an odd purple streak running through it.
Cautiously, I walked down to the bottom of the ramp.
“Do you uh… do you know what just happened?” I asked.
“With the Harchen ship? Yeah, the federation managed to find some supporters among the Harchen fleet. They were going to sabotage the ceasefire by bombing Aafa on behalf of the UN. ‘Better the civilians die than fall to the predators’ and all.”
I took a moment to absorb this. I had thought that the federation couldn’t disappoint me anymore than they had already, and yet once again, they somehow found a way.
“You know, it’s funny,” I said. “I always wanted to visit Aafa. I mean, this place is beautiful, isn’t it?”
“For me, personally?” Q replied, “Not a huge fan. It’s too… artificial, reminds me of home. Actually, are you by any chance feeling adventurous?”
“I mean, I did just crash land after fighting in a space battle, so I would say so.”
“In that case,” he said, “my offer from before still stands.”
Q turned to face me and extended his paw.
I hesitated briefly, but then I took it and
Error 409: Unresolved sequence, consult user manual for more details
Transcript generation aborted

"It's like the truth hurts their stupid brain but not quite because they are actually smart."
This is what I would sound like before I learned that I could say, "they have cognitive dissonance." I simply didn't know that term before and could not express myself how I wished to. To my amazement, and the surprise seems so obvious now, using proper terminology yields fewer shrugs and changes of subject and more nods of confirmation and room to speak further; Fewer people waiting to chime in after you and more active listeners receiving the torch of a word you shared. It's lovely to express what you mean.
Too often I find myself saying, "there should be a term for this thing I am trying to describe." If I tried now to find the term "cognitive dissonance" by typing my personal observations of its effects as above into a Google search bar, I would not find it. Even worse, I could get false results such as the "dunning kruger effect."
Yesterday, someone used their local term "valley rat" to describe a type of poor person visiting their nice town from a mountain valley podunk. I would subscribe to learn more colloquialisms like these if only they were gathered in one place. Like an urban dictionary but more interactive.
This morning I noticed a friend displaying a pattern of weaponizing their victimhood against another friend, but that's not quite the correct expression. I've noticed my gf and others play victim as well to create situations that are unfair, putting words into another's mouth of extreme opposition to their intent. I believe such behavior is connected to a number of terms I would like to learn and even research. As wonderful a tool as Google is, I'm not sure how to converse with it well enough to narrow the subject down to core terms. Is there a place on Reddit to do this instead?

I don't even love him but I'm so sick of being with someone like this. Yea it's totally not weird that you're doing that. Whatever. We just had sex too but only once. Which is probably not enough for him. And he trying to tell me he didn't shower earlier. I swear this boy has brain damage. Can't tell if he's actually that stupid or just gaslighting. When I get my shit together enough to leave I'll be so happy. I hate men. I hate him. I just want to get drunk and be alone.

(This ended up being longer than I anticipated, but when I went back to find quotes there was just...so much more than I remembered there being. And I still ended up cutting out a lot.)
A while ago, I read Trailer Trash by Marie Sexton and I loved it. It’s not a perfect book (I don’t want or need to read about homophobic violence for a story to feel “real” so it’s something I try to avoid), but it was perfect for me at the time I read it. I decided to search for other books by the author, and One Man’s Trash immediately stood out to me. Trailer Trash, One Man’s Trash, it seemed like a good omen. And I really liked it! It was a lot more flawed, however. I found the characters and plot a little frustrating at times, but that’s normal with a more grown up kind of story. But I had some reservations, and what really pinged my “this might be some bullshit” radar was this particular section:

“But it’s just like being part of the LGBT ‘community.’” He made quotation marks with his fingers around the word. “They give a lot of lip service to ‘diversity’ and open-mindedness—and most of them follow through—but there’s always this little, loudmouthed subset telling you how to behave and what to say. It starts out ‘all for one, and one for all,’ but by the end, somebody’s drawing lines in the sand, telling you to choose a side. You can’t be gay or bi or trans if you don’t vote a certain way, act a certain way, follow some ridiculous set of rules. They all want you to be a round little peg in a round fucking hole. They want you to pick a box and a label so they know just where to put you, rather than accepting that we’re all separate, unique people, and that our stories are all valid, no matter whether we fit in the box or not.” He stopped, feeling himself headed into one of the rants that only Phil and Gray or Charlie would have understood. The confusion on Taylor’s face was the response he was accustomed to. He took one more stab at it. “There’s always that pissed-off minority who think their ‘rules’ outweigh your right to live your life.”

I initially brushed it aside. I mean, I’ve known a few people who like to rant about this topic who also have a lot more extreme opinions to go along with it, so it reminded me of those people and it didn’t endear me to the character, but I don’t need to like a character to like the story. As long as it feels real and not like a mouthpiece for the author, you know? But that’s what I found troubling about this kind of sermonizing. I wondered if the author was about to get ahead of herself and make a habit of yanking me out of the story to deliver these rants. Fortunately, it wasn’t an issue. I ended up giving the book a strong 3.5 stars, and I even went back and skim-read it a second time. I found myself intrigued by the rest of the friend group (the aforementioned Phil, Gray, and Charlie) so I decided to read their stories too.
Book 2 in the series, Terms of Service, was somewhat like the first. Good points, bad points, a little less polished than I’d like, but intriguing enough to keep me turning the page. For a while at least. Because – you guessed it – this time we get double the amount of ranting in the form of a crotchety senior citizen who’s taking his turn serving as the author’s mouthpiece. He really badly wants to tell us how people need to take responsibility for their medical bills, and all about the problem with medicine today. He’s a nonagenarian with dementia, but thankfully he’s sharp enough at this point in time to really give us a sermon. One of the characters offers a token protest, but that’s just so the author can have an opportunity to rant some more.

“I’m not sure it’s that simple,” he said to Pops.
“Bah!” Pops gave another wave as if to send him on his way. “Of course it is. You get a doctor’s office on every corner instead of a Starbucks, suddenly they’d have to compete for our business. ‘Buy a pap smear, get a mammogram for free!’ That kind of thing. Suddenly, accepting a plate of cookies or a dozen fresh eggs as payment for a blood pressure check doesn’t seem so silly. But nobody talks about lowering the cost of procedures. All they talk about is premiums. Switching the burden of payment from the individual to the government

It’s paragraphs of this stuff, but you get the gist. I thought it was blessedly over, but nope, on the way home from their visit, his grandson (one of the MCs) has a fun childhood story for his love interest (would not blame you for skipping this part, but I found the tone so weird that I had to share the bulk of it):

“And then one day, Pops looks at my textbook and realizes I’m reading about the Cuban Missile Crisis. He takes the paper I’m writing on JFK, and he starts reading it, and he’s just shaking his head, saying, ‘no, no, no’”. Phil laughed. “I couldn’t believe it, because I knew the material. I’d read it twice! I knew I had everything right, and I told him so.
“So then he starts telling all the stuff that isn’t the text book. Like how JFK was under the care of the original Doctor Feelgood, who’d been in the White House that evening, giving Kennedy one of his famous ‘cocktails.’ Then they woke Kennedy in the middle of the night and hauled his ass into this emergency meeting about Russia putting nukes in Cuba. Pops had a book that contained a transcript of that meeting, and reading it, you can tell Kennedy’s so fucking high, he has no real idea what’s going on. At one point, he says something like, ‘Why would Russia do that? That’d be like us putting nukes in Turkey.’ And there’s a pause, and then one of the other people in the room says, ‘We did, sir.’”
They stopped at a red light, and it seemed to make Phil’s stream of words stop too, although this time, he was smiling. “It’s weird, because I’ve looked for that transcript more recently, and it doesn’t come up in a Google search. I mean, maybe twenty pages deep or something, but it’s buried. The only thing you’ll find is a transcript from the next morning, when he’s more with it.” He shook his head as the light turned green. “Anyway. Next thing I know, Pops is telling me all about JFK’s famous Camp David parties, just him, his political allies, Dr. Feelgood, and a few high-priced call girls. Pops talked for hours about how the lone gunman theory doesn’t make sense, how the Warren Report’s nothing but bullshit. At the time, it floored me. It was like this revelation, that history could be more interesting than just memorizing names and dates. That maybe there was stuff they didn’t want us to know.”

So he writes a report all about his grandpa's conspiracy theories and he gets an F. His mean overbearing father, who apparently is the villain of the story, made him write the report again. I mean, cool. It’s a story from his childhood, not much to see here. But the author doesn’t leave it alone. She really wants to hammer home her message:

“So, he’s kind of a conspiracy theorist?”
Phil practically rolled his eyes. “Have you ever considered how often we use that phrase to dismiss people simply because they disagree with us? I mean, Pops isn’t a moron. He knows the Earth is round. He doesn’t think the moon landing’s a hoax or anything. He reads constantly. He just has a few key things he can’t let go—”
“Like JFK?”
Phil nodded. “Like JFK. But really, he’s pretty reasonable. Now, wait until you meet Gray’s father. He’s a trip. He has two Ph.Ds. Probably the smartest, most intimidating guy I’ve ever met. And yet, he gets brushed off as a ‘conspiracy theorist’ because he questions the status quo.” He laughed. “I dare you to say those two words to his face.”

So deep.
I ended up DNF’ing this one, mostly because it was boring and I didn’t vibe with the couple, but I decided to try book 3 because that particular character had intrigued me the most so far.
I didn’t read the reviews beforehand. Why oh why didn’t I read the reviews beforehand? Because what the fuck was that?
Gray is a cop. Ex-military. And he has a lot of opinions about ~~social justice warriors~~. His love interest, Avery, is a younger man who spends a lot of time on Twitter and Tumblr and is every stereotype stuffed into one convenient straw man. Avery is a masochist and Gray is a sadist, so he's literally just there to get whipped and flogged while Gray rants about the spooky mainstream media. He even takes away Gray’s phone, and he suffers withdrawal like a drug addict, then magically finds himself happier. I mean, sure, okay. We could all probably do with less scrolling. But then he gets his phone back and suddenly turns into a mean and vicious harpy who’s snapping at everyone. Because he’s addicted to outrage, you see. And who doesn’t love an anvil falling from the sky?
If you want to get a feel for Gray, here are some words of wisdom from our Ben Shapiro-wannabe main character:

But the give-and-take, fact-based process of discussion and debate were lost on Avery. When Gray pointed out Avery’s argument resorted to the straw man fallacy, Avery only blinked at him in confusion. When Gray countered one of Avery’s points, Avery had no arguments. He had no logic. As soon as he was challenged, he resorted to name-calling. If Gray disagreed, he was automatically stupid or racist or mansplaining. Never mind that Avery couldn’t ever explain what about Gray’s point was wrong, or what part of it supposedly made him a racist.

I lost it at "He had no logic" fucking hell 😂 I was approaching cringe overload, but I obviously hate myself, because I just couldn’t look away from this gruesome wreck.

“You think you know everything that matters, and anybody who disagrees with you is ignorant or uneducated or a ‘fascist.’ But I’ve seen your tweets and your Tumblr posts and the ridiculous fucking memes you love so much. I’ve seen what you think qualifies as a rational argument, and I have to tell you, it’s neither rational, nor an argument. It’s nothing but self-righteous hot air.”

Hello, Marie? I didn’t realize this was a 3-way call. Kinda thought it was just gonna be me and the characters. It’s just, you’re butting in an awful lot. Can you hang up, please?
Apparently the answer is no, because she’s not done yet. Our main character conveniently meets a black woman who tells him she was shunned by her friends and family because she refused to vote for Hillary.

My husband and I, we talked about it, and we decided we were done voting for the lesser of two evils. My husband said that’s what got us into this mess, and he wasn’t doing it anymore. So we agreed to vote third party. And ever since then, my sister’s refused to speak to me except to attack me. Before that, my husband and I babysat their kids. We took them to Water World or the amusement park. But now she’s decided we’re both white supremacists in disguise. When that article came out online about how it’s okay to punch a Nazi, she sent it to me. She said, ‘Just so you know what to expect if you show up at Christmas.’”
Avery didn’t know what to say. It was absurd. Emily was one of the nicest people he’d ever met. How could anybody call her a Nazi?

FUCKING LOL. Are you kidding me right now? This author bypassed the sock puppet “as a black man” twitter account and just decided to write it into her book. Amazing. Why is this going on for chapter after chapter after chapter? Start a blog or something, I don’t caaaaare.

Robert spoke next, his voice so quiet, Avery barely heard him over the noise of the bar. “Try being a gay Republican.”

Ah, gay Republican, I was wondering if you’d make an appearance. I was expecting a lesbian in a wheelchair who’s all prepared to deliver her treatise against “cancel culture” but I guess you’ll do. So we have a a black woman and a gay man, I guess we're missing a Mexican Trump supporter. No worries, Gray's mother is here to save the day.

“You really voted for Trump?” he asked.
“I didn’t vote for him in the primaries,” she said without embarrassment. “I was horrified when he won. I thought about voting third party, but in the end, I sure didn’t want Hillary to win. So yeah, I voted for him.”
“But how could you?” Avery asked. “You’re a woman! Plus, you’re Latina.”
“I’m third-generation Mexican American. And yes, I’m female. You see those two things and think you know everything you need to know about me? But I suppose you think you’re not racist or sexist.”
It was said with a lightness that told him it more a jest than an accusation, but nevertheless, Avery’s cheeks began to burn.
“Go ahead,” Gray said. “Attack her. Call her a racist or a Nazi or a white supremacist.”
“Gray, stop!” Avery whispered, his cheeks burning hotter.

He also has climate change-denier for a father, but this is getting long enough.
I just want to know what the author was thinking. Where was the common sense? Where was the self-awareness? Have your beliefs, that's your business, but keep it your business. Why are you shoe-horning them into your romance and ambushing your readers with your shitty “both sides are equally good and bad, really” manifesto, with a cast of literally unbelievable token characters, like that's a completely normal thing to do? That has to be one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen someone do while simultaneously patting themselves on the back. And if her beef is with people who are chronically online, may I just point out that she's sitting at almost 56 THOUSAND tweets right now? So perhaps the call is coming from inside the house, idk.
Anyway, that was my rollercoaster journey with this particular author (is it still a rollercoaster when the lows vastly outnumber highs?) Maybe book 4 is magically tolerable, but I guess I'll never know 🤷🏽‍♀️

I feel bad about myself, I used to feel that what im doing was morally wrong. But now i do feel sick about it, and i don't like this feeling. It makes me think i'm detached from reality of having a normal relationship (love) even more [as i used the sex to compensate being avoidant and feeling unsafe about love and rs]. I feel weird.. and not healthy.. I feel sensitive more than ever, please tell me this gets better by time...
Also I realized men I were with as one night stands might as well be addicted which made me kind of.. shocked.. i'm sorry.. but sex was the only feeling i was safe about, i thought it was only nice brain chemicals soothing both of us, with no lies, with no complications, with no feelings and no heartbreak. Now i feel what we had was even more untrue. And i do hate now that im imagining someone feeling bad about themselves after being with me.

• Space Marines: not simplefied at all edition, and I think tracking all the various buffs and stuff can get taxing (& require tokens!) of it's own.
• Space Marines seem like the type of army that would love to face-off into 'deathstar' type build. "oh noes, one giant unit. If only I could give myself +1 to hit, +1 Ap, rerolls, and perhaps +1 to wound..."
  
• Also of note: space marine exceptionalism: Reivers force a battleshock test at the start of any melee engagement. And they have a -1 Ld aura basically. Tyranids would love for this to be the Shadow in the Warp. This also means, Reivers charging a Monolith, a melee-knight or a Bloodthirster, or indeed, the Swarmlord, force a battleshock test. Who in the design team thought this is appropriate? Does anyone truly believe marines with facepaint are even in the top 10 scariest things in the Wh40k universe?
  
• There is weird stuff in unit-joining too: Lieutenant seems to be able to join a captain or chapter master, but not a Librarian, or Chaplain. Apothecary is similar + lieutenant can join. Devastators cannot be joined. Captain, must have a shield to join bladeguard veterans... other HQ's not. Captain must have a plasma pistol to join Hellblasters... other HQ's not. Gravis armor is now truly 'medium-tanky' at T6, as there is a lot of S5 around in the game.
  

Note: many characters are 4 wounds now. Quite vulnerable to getting sniped with Ap2 Dam2 sniper rifles. Marine Scouts should see a points increase due to 2 wounds.
Onto the combo buffing (looking at ranged attacks)

• Incursors: can give a +1 to hit, your shooting phase only.
• Landspeeder: can give a +1 to hit, and ignore cover to Blast weapons. Landspeeder is now BFF with Vindicator, Plasma cannons, Whirlwind,... This one does not require hits at all, only vision. So... technically, Landspeeder could give a +1 to hit to a vindicator vs the target the vindicator is in melee with. (Vindicator can now kaboom at point blank thanks to siege shield!)
• Classic Dreadnought: reroll 1's to hit Aura for infantry.

The Strike Speeder trio:

• Hailstrike: glorious hailstrike, gives +1 AP to ranged during the phase (technically with overwatch, if you hit & overwatch again same phase, could give +1 Ap to the target)
• Thunderstrike gives +1 to wound vs Monstevehicle.
• Hammerstrike denies benefit of cover.

(1 unit can use the firestorm stratagem for ignore cover, and +1 AP during devastator doctrine. Of course, you can turn on devastator doctrine for 1 squad at command phase instead with a stratagem, or with say, a Captain or Guilleman, you could use firestorm strat twice during devastator doctrine)

• 10th edition will not be a happy place for vehicles vs marines whilst some of these are around. Devastator doctrine, incursors, Hailstrike, Firestorm: 12 gravcannon shots, move, advance, shoot, hit on 3's, wound vehicle on 2's, Ap3 ignore cover, and Dam3 each. The Thunderstrike is glorious: Vindicator will wound any monstevehicle not T14, on 2's. (unless, -1 to wound). Thunderstrike instantly redeems the MM: wound any vehicle/monsters on 4's. Also: Whirlwind is S8: with +1 to wound, it again wounds any vehicle on 4+ (T14 is the max). Same for Hellblasters. 20 plasma shots, wounding on 4's Ap3? (4 with hailstrike, 5 with devastator doctrine & firestorm; toss on ignore cover maybe?) This also massively boosts the effectiveness of any marine weapon: Hail + Thunder, and intercessor bolters wound on 5's & Ap2.
  
• S6 weapons, can wound T7-11 on 4's, etc. And this is highly relevant, as there seem to be very, very few monsters above T11. Greater Daemons shown are T10 (maybe Great Unclean One above?), Tyranids have the Tyrannofex. There is the assault cannons of course, but also a few more.
  

Example: *Land raider *Redeemer ** has truly been redeemed, it runs into a Tervigon (T11, 16 wounds, 2+ save). (I wonder what happened to those gaunts the previous turn) Okay. We pop Hail & Thunderstrike buffs. Flamer: average 13 hits, S6 +1 to wound, Ap2+1, Dam 2= 13 x 1/2 x 2/3 x 2= average 8.67 wounds. Into Daemons you don't need the Hailstrike. Also note: No Oath of Moment yet, which would increase the output to: 13 x 3/4 x 2/3 x 2 = 13 wounds average. This is before the small matter of the Multi-Melta and the twin assault cannon.
Another example: Predator Destructor: champion of mediocrity. keywords combine as leader joins unit? You got it! Tyrant + tyrant guard. Enter Hail & Thunderstrike combo. Destructor gets +1 Ap vs Infantry. Why yes, those Tyrant guard are infantry. Thunderstrike gives +1 to wound vs Monstevehicles. Why yes, the Hive Tyrant (/Swarmlord,...) is a monster. Combined, within 24": 6 Heavy Bolter shots... wounding on 4's at Ap3 Dam2. Followed by 6 autocannon shots, wounding on 2's Ap3 Dam 3. Hailstrike also buffs the Predator to Ap3 vs any marine unit. Add in some Incursors for a +1 to hit.
Hailstrike is crucial for dealing with infantry. Infernus fellas example: Hailstrike buff + Devastator doctrine & Firestorm: Ap2. 10-man shooting at terminators: 35 wounds avg, x 1/2 x 1/2 = almost 4 dead terminators on average.

• Oath of Moment loves wounding on 4's or 5's

Making the most out of buffs seems pretty vital, considering Oath of Moment: Relatively, Oath has the highest increase when you're wounding on 6's. 1/6 chance to wound, becomes 11/36 chance to wound, almost doubling! However, in the absolute, this only adds 5/36 to the wound chance, less than 1/6 (+1 to wound is better than wound rerolls here). If wounding on 5's, it goes from 1/3 to 5/9, an increase by 2/3rds relatively. And +2/9 = +8/36 in absolute wound chance. This also means, +60% more effective than the case of wounding on 6's, in terms of wounds added via Oath of Moment. Bolters into tough Oath of Moment target with/without Thunderstrike +1 to wound buff: 11/36 chance to wound, vs 20/36 chance to wound.
Wounding on 4's lastly, is the best, but the bonus effect is less pronounced as the jump from wounding on 6's to 5's: from 1/2 to 3/4. So +50% more wounds relatively, in the absolute adding 1/4= 9/36. (total wound chance: 27/36) Slightly better in terms of total wounds still (+12.5% more) than the wounding on 5's (or indeed, wounding on 3's) scenario: +8/36 +9/36 wounds is still a +12.5% relative increase, even if the difference is only 1/36 in the absolute. Conclusion: use Oaths on 4 or 5's to wound situations when possible for max total benefit.
(I am not considering Devastating wounds yet admittedly, nor number of attacks etc, or indeed lethal hits).

• 'Not-Infantry'-tough

As the Thunderstrike gives +1 to wound vehicles/monsters, and many go without invulnerable saves, (and vehicles have other 'anti' options), we may see an edition where 'not-vehicles/monsters' are once again tougher in practice than these Behemoths: Custodes on a Jetbike: see the Predator destructor above: first, no +1 to wound as 'not infantry'. Second, no +1 to wound as not 'monster'. So mr Predator's heavy bolter is wounding on 5's and 'only' Ap2 with the hailstrike. And if you shoot some MM's at them, they'll have an invulnerable. And a 4+++ vs Mortals. Infantry does have some 'anti-infantry' keywords, and indeed specific 'anti-infantry' battleshocks etc. The design team seems to have majorly overlooked bikers, beasts, cavalry. Elite versions of these are where the most durability might be found. (indeed, Custodes jetbikes, Thunderwolf cavalry, ...), due to lack of anti-X and 'vs X unit, +1 to...' vs X, battleshock' style rules.
NB: technically, from a background view, bikes & jetbikes are vehicles. An EMP-pulse knocking out vehicles (or a grav-gun) should be effective vs a jetbike, infact, very effective. (and indeed, vs crisis suits and the like... :s )
Lastly: Marine Infantry thoughts
Hellblaster deathstar. You must choose between 2 options: Librarian for a 4++, and a 4+++ vs psychic mortals. Helps keep the unit alive. Or, Apothecary, for reviving self-killed model/turn. But: apothecary himself is vulnerable to snipes. Could give him the 2+/5+++ enhancement. This takes away the sustained hits enhancement. Could add a Lieutenant for the Sustained Hits /Lethal hits combo, and keep apothecary in the 2+/5+++ armor, or vice-versa.
Marines have loads of options, the unability to stack for melee will be a limiting factor(imo): do you want a free stratagem & charge rerolls? Terminator captain. (finest hour for +3 Attacks regular captain). Do you want +1 to wound rolls in melee? Chaplain. (terminators with PF/Hammer wound any monstevehicle on 4+) Do you want 4+++ and sustained hits terminator librarion. 4++ & 4+++? Regular librarian. Do you want 'strike first'? Quite important... Judiciar, 4++ vs melee attacks only vulnerable to being sniped, and not combine friendly. More OC? ah, also check the fineprint on combinations.
Between Terminators 4++, Bladeguard vets 4++, and two librarian (Primaris & Authentic) providing 4++... you could build an entire marine (infantry) army with 4++ saves.
The theme that I'd be most interested in though, remains 'bolter-less marine datasheet collector'. NO BOLTERS where-ever avoidable. No intercessors, tactical squad, ... would allow combi-weapons (min-size devastator squad). No unit duplicates.
Vindicator, Whirlwind, Land raider Redeemer, Hellblasters, Flamer-boyz, Suppressors, ... Dark Angels might provide extra options here with plasma bikers. I think it would be funny to attempt making an effective 'Space Marines' army, and treat the iconic marine weapon as a training weapon, "what, you thought a bolter is for actual combat?? of course not, dummy!"

How bad us it I moved someone's stuff
Usually I am quite calm about fridgespace since a fridge is shared and know that it isn't that deep. Except last term, when I put my stuff in the shelf of let's say Anna who had an entire shelf to herself whilst I had half. The shelf allocation is not official and sometimes people would put stuff on on other people's shelves since it is unequal. The shelves are distrubuted based on who comes first.
In the first term Anna had one and a half shelves but that changed after someone took up one of the halves and she only had a shelf. Anyway she moved my stuff to another shelf despite having loads of space and asked was complaining saying she doesn't know what my problem is.
This term I came early and managed to snag an equivalent of one shelf after the palava of last year. The previous two terms I only took half a set because I used to think it was unfair to take up more space when everyone else literally had to squish their stuff into smaller spaces but obviously others did not feel that way. I get half of two shelves. I don't usually care too much if the girl of one shelf puts her stuff in my space even though I don't do the same to her. I ended up sharing a shelf with Anna though and she is quite possessive over her space leaving empty boxes to reserve it.
When she came back from the holiday this term I think she assumed I had taken the third shelf completely when someonel else had taken the half and I the other half. She then proceeded to move the plate of cheese cake on that person's shelf on top of my stuff and put her stuff on the other half. She knew that some of the stuff was on that shelf was mine since I have specific snacks I eat ehich she used to like to mention and hence it felt very targeted since there were free shelves below that.
Today I come back and the first time I go to the fridge she and some othersl are chatting and I don't care and get get my grapes and go to my room. I went back a second time after they bad gone to get some vegetables to take homs and I see Anna had bought a wrap and decided to let it extend a bit past into my shelf. Obviously I was okay with it since she has only half a shelf and it's just a fridge but then I remembered what she did last term when I had little space and tried to borrow a bit of her space (I measured it was around a fifth( which was about the length she extended into my half). I pushed her stuff until it came into her half nd then added water bottles in the fridge since it is hot here and were getting hot in my room. Her wraps might be bent since about a seventh of it os folded and I expect her to throw a tantrum like she did last time but wraps are meant to be folded anyway.
I feel petty but also she seems extremely possessive over her fridge space and didn't make me the same accommodations. It was also quite obviously not half of her shelf.
We aren't on good terms after she purposely told me the wrong date and location for a get together which I only found out was incorrect from someone else and told everyone the reason I wasn't coming is because I didn't want to come and not because of she told me dates I could not make it. I found this weird since we were good friends before and she didn't think I found out. She has also made plans to meet everyone else in our friendship group individually (even those which she isn't oarticularly close to) except me which one of my friends told me.
So thoughts?

Last time I took a break was last year during May. I'm on day 5 now and at the start of my break I got sick from being out in the cold too long and I had major allergies, sore throat and lungs. My last few hits hit my lungs hard and it was unpleasant so it was a good time to stop and let my body rest and recover. I'm much better now but still coughing up the last of dark mucus from my throat.
My advice - 1. Stay busy, these past few days I've been on my work and workout grind, wake up at 8, go to work at 9, done working and earning money by 7pm, then gym, then eat and chill around 10 pm which would be the time I smoke but not now. Instead I dedicate this time towards things like Journaling, meditating, or learning and studying more about things I love.

1. Don't get caught in the moments of craving and missing weed. Think about all the time you spent smoking and kinda took it for granted, these moments are just moments and it's been helpful for me to think about the long term and realize that one month will go by quicker than one year.
   
2. Pay attention to benefits of taking breaks. One sort of benefit I experience pretty immediately is vivid dreams, I've dreamt more in the past few days than I have in the past few months. Dreams can be fun and interesting, last night I was at some mountain range perhaps in Europe wandering and being guided by a stranger. You can also learn lucid dreaming or astralprojection .
   
3. Time away from the things you love is important, imagine if you spent your time with your lover 24/7. Or if you ate the same food everyday, as much as you smoked, you'd probably get tired of it.
   
4. Be curious to see what it's like to be sober. For me it's like days go by so fast, it's a weird paradox how when I smoke time would sort of slow down but the days would also go by quick. The days add up fast either way but being sober I feel more present? It's kinda weird hard to explain With weed theres less memory of what's been going on and it's more common to wake up in a daze. There is definitely more productivity and less possibility of getting off track with things that need to get done.
   
5. Beware of emotions and expect to feel agitated, impatient, frustrated, etc... it's good to have a plan to calm yourself down wether it be affirmations, breathing techniques, music, holding a crystal ball, prayer, etc.. find an outlet for your energy in things like working out. In my experience doing cardio speeds up the coughing up dark mucus process, to be honest it's pretty satisfying to me to get that stuff out.
   
6. Realize that the hard way is the way, there are no shortcuts to greatness. Believe in yourself, love yourself and have a vision of where you wanna be when you reach your goals.
   

Some of you have read my first post detailing the first semester of the senior Bible class in my evangelical highschool, here's the an overview of the second semester. (This gets long, but it's a good insight into how these people think and indoctrinate young members)
We didnt have time to go over every chapter of the second book we were given, so we only covered these topics:
-history of xtianity -"thinking and speaking clearly" -value of human life -sexuality -religious persecution
And every single one of these was just, morally reprehensible all around. Starting with Christianity: a history, we covered the effects that Christianity has had on human rights, woman's rights, charity, society.
It was basically a giant justification for colonialism. There was an entire part claiming that the colonization of India was a good thing because they stopped them from killing widows, ignoring absolutely everything else Christianity has done for woman's right, ignoring the rape of Africa, or how colonialism restricted a lot of women's cultural roles in places like some regions of Africa and the America's. They went on to say that in every instance of colonialism Christianity raised a woman's standard of living by giving them purpose and dignifying them through modesty. They also went on to claim that charity comes from Christianity, that they brought civilization to other cultures, ect. Also claimed that public education and psychology came from them (ignoring how messed up the 40s psych wards they were claiming were), they even claimed the concept of music. They claimed that the story of the resurrection and their cultural belief in it elevated modern music to the point its at now that other cultures couldn't reach. It was really disgusting, my country was colonized, my parents and all my friends parents lived through a war and were dislocated, only for me to have to hear these bastards praise themselves for saving us from our own backwards cultures. It was so racist, talking about how other cultures needed them to save and civilized them.
Oh and also how they never forced conversion. Obviously.
I do remember that one historical xtianity thing they didn't like was the social gospel though, which basically posited that rich people should help poor people, that's a massive simplification but they disliked that it implied that the way to heaven was being a good person instead of through faith, which is technically blasphemy in most xtian denominations.
The thinking and speaking clearly portion was hilarious honestly. I remember for a week we solely covered logical fallacies but. The examples they gave for logical fallacies were fucking hilarious.
This was their example for the logical fallacy of bandwagoning: "You notice tons of scientists all believing in climate change just because other scientists believe in it, following a bandwagon. Don't fall for it just because everyone believes in it"
About 50% of the examples were like that, and the other 50% were the basic non political examples. I remember this one example they used made me really angry, it was like, appealing to empathy, and the example the gave was a gay person talking about how hard it is to deal with discrimination/ how painful conversion therapy is/ how miserable homophobic parents make them. And they went on about how it was a baseless appeal to empathy, not a logical argument, and that they shouldn't fall for it, because we're still dangerous [insert slur of the day]. Like yeah, teach that empathy is a bad thing to base actions on, real mask off moment.
We had a project where we had to come up with an example with all 40ish types of fallacies they introduced, I only took examples from the class itself. I got 5 points deducted but it was worth it.
The next part of the thinking and speaking clearly was exclusively about how to argue, which I thought yall might be interested in. It was tactics that a lot of people know, stay unemotional, don't be condescending even if you hate the person you're talking to, even if you're making the other person react stay cool and ask "where did you get that belief", "why do you believe that", make yourself look like you're the even headed one. They emphasized the Columbo tactic a lot. The real scary part is that. This was the most component part of the class. They were all good argument tactics. If you guys are interested I recommend looking up the Columbo tactic, it was less focused on being right and more focused on "winning hearts"
(Sidenote: it wasn't in the senior Bible class, but in my freshaman Bible class we had a lesson on pretending to tolerate trans ppl to convert and change their minds in the long run, which was, yikes, gave me trust issues around xtians)
The value of human life was, yk, abortion. It was longgg drawn out and I was so fucking angry the entire time. But it was mostly the same shit we've all heard before: human life is precious, here's a long list of why murder is wrong... which yeah but were talking about abortion not murder, which is denying a fetus access to using my body. It's like taking someone off life support except the life support is yourself.
They had 2 interesting twists though, both in response to the argument I just gave. 1. Abortion is murder bc the fetus has to be beheaded burned with chemicals and bloodied up. Which um. They aren't even big enough to do that in most abortions (https://myanetwork.org/the-issue-of-tissue/) since 90% happen in the 1st trimester and isn't even true for late term abortions, since they're usually preformed by injecting something in the heart and 3. If it does happen late stage it'd be bc of the procedure to remove it intact is banned and illegal. The point about fetuses being murdered via chemical burns was used to say, "it is murder, not taking off life support"
The second interesting twist was this: they presented the life support via the well known "what if you woke up kidnapped and medically connected to a world famous musician and it would kill him if you took away your life support, is that murder, are you morally obligated to stay there?" Which yeah its an imperfect metaphor because it's a metaphor. And they said if that was true then they'd be wrong BUT abortion is murder bc see the above false claim and because the metaphor isn't what is actually happening. Woman have an obligation to their children that you don't to a random musician, blah blah motherly instinct. And secondly that it wasnt like the musician example because the woman caused the fetus to be attached to her by having sex and should deal with the consequences. Which wow. The idea that women are inherently beholden to a clump of cells of womanly responsibilities. And the idea that a child should be punishment for having sex.
I actually came up with an alternate metaphor that addressed both of those later 'arguments': what if you had asymptomatic covid and went to a family reunion with your young niece, no mask at the height of the pandemic. She got covid and it was somehow traced back to you. The only way for her to live is if you stay as her life support for 9 full months. It will wreak havoc on your body and your career from the months long break, you will also be fully financially responsible for the 200k hospital bill. Are you morally obligated to do that? Is it murder? What if you wore a mask? What if you knew and wore a mask? No matter what, you owe your neice more in this situation than a woman owes a fetus because of her parents emotional involvement, if you want to play the maternal instinct amd owing family card. So are you obligated? No. The argument wasn't taken well and I couldn't get into a fight over it bc my mom would find out and she's pro life so i had to back down.
The sexuality section was just homophobia! Yay! It also talked about how contraception was bad and porn destroyed lives. Here's some highlights: contraception increased the number of wedlock babies so therefore it is bad and we shouldn't use it, sex is for making babies and marriage. Married Christian women have the best sex (no sources cited) (my gf had a good night that night) because married Christian woman have stability and financial security so therefore the sex must be good. Because??. Because their relationship is stable and their husband is there the morning after. So it must be good. Don't look at marital rape statistics. Woman are not capable of hugging a man without forming an emotional connection due to their hormones...
Actually I'm gonna expand on that one. I almost murdered someone. Made me see red. The argument was that woman have the chemical oxytocin, unlike men (no sources found) and that chemical forms a permanent bond for woman when physical contact is made. Which is why woman love their children (???) And that all woman will eventually love their children no matter how bad the pregnancy, since that hormone will kick in when she holds the baby, and obviously woman are slaves to hormones. And that's also why having premarital sex as a woman is bad, because even a simple hug from a man activates that hormone and permanently attaches you to that man. So if you have casual sex you'll always be missing all those connections that your body will long for, causing feelings of emptiness and great psychological distress, and she'll never be happy with relationships bc of all those missing connections. OH AND ALSO. Oxytocin in a woman is only released during sex and birth. And hugs apparently, or is the logic that woman's bodies are so ready for men that they register hugs as sexual? I am still angry about that.
More highlights are: porn makes men sexist. It's impossible to respect women after watching porn. Also it's cheating. We didnt spend much time here because we spent two weeks on homosexuality. Which, pretty standard, gay men are pedophiles, all societies have fallen exactly 3 generations after accepting homosexuality. Yes that's an exact line from the book. Ignore the Romans ig. Since transness was a hot topic we kind of ignored the book to talk about transness and um. I'm queer so I just skipped class. But I ran out of classes I could skip and still graduate so here's the one lesson I didn't miss: words like transgender, genderqueer, they/them, genderfluid, are just like new speak in 1984. The words made to describe some people's unique experiences that only 1% of the population has experienced is just like how in 1984 certain words were outlawed and forgotten so less people could describe their experience and the human condition made less diverse since that diversity doesn't have words. Words introduced specifically so people can talk about their unique experiences and expand the human condition with unique words that only a few people relate to is just like how in 1984 they were all forced to use the same handful of words to describe their lives and make the human experience smaller. Also trans people are just like Hitler. These people have worn swastikas to school. Also Hitler killed queer people too.
Also divorce is just as traumatic for a child as surviving the holocaust. That is a real line from the book. Having your parents divorce is equally traumatic. To surviving gas chambers. Also if your husband is [redacted] and you're unhappy you're obligated to stay for the child. If you leave you're making your child go through something equal. To the holocaust. These people hate jews. But they'll so happily use them to say whatever stupid bullshit they want.
This is getting really long.
The final chapter, religious persecution, I also mightve slept through some classes. Look i was a high school senior. The gist was basically there's a holy war. Culture war is very serious and not a political distraction at all. Responsibility as Christians to shape the culture around you. It's for the betterment of society. Society needs to be led by Christians. Run for office. Vote. Oh and also let's talk about how other countries persecute xtians. Which they do. Some. We had a project where we choose a country that persecuted xtians and some do, I chose ones that actually do. Someone chose like Portugal or Venezuela. I don't remember which one. It was a hispanic country and um. How do i say this. I am from a hispanic country. Saying a hispanic county persecuted xtians is absolutely insane. Her presentation was mostly on gang violence. Also another option to pick was Mexico. Mexico. Deeply catholic Mexico. It's worth mentioning that they hated Catholics and racism is definitely a part of it.
Alright that concluded the second semester honestly. I missed a lot from the first semester in my 1st post since I made it at 2am. I missed a whole section where we talked of each worldviews view on ethics and philosophy and stuff. Also sorry this is so long, I maybe should've split it into 2 posts but I've already typed it all out so. Basically this entire class was. More than hell to sit through.

Being in a calorie deficit isn't the hardest thing for me in terms of day time eating - breakfast lunch dinner, but its the snacks that get me especially in the evening/night time. I will be on track all day and then at night time just get a sugaidk what craving.
Hear me out, watermelon and pickles. I know it sounds weird but the sourness and crunch of the pickle with the sweetness of the watermelon is exactly what I needed. It sounds weird but it helped me reduce my chocolate cookie intake - before I would eat like 6 cookies a night but now im good with 2.

I’m a lesbian in my late 20s/early 30s (trying to be as generic as possible, including using a new account for reasons that will definitely become clear) wondering if sugar dating would solve some of my problems.
I’ve known I was gay for a long time but attempting to come out to my parents when I was younger was disastrous. In college, a close gay male friend and I decided to “date” until we were financially independent from our parents to appease them. As time went on, we realized being “straight” did wonders for our lives both professionally and personally, my family and I have never been closer, my portfolio manager has been a huge advocate and non-subtly grooming me for continuous promotions, etc. But the truth is.. I miss women.
Unlike my boyfriend, who can hop on Grindr and be satisfied, I miss the intimacy that comes with a long-term relationship but I have met virtually no queer women understanding of my situation.
My hang ups about “hopping in the bowl” are mainly that the queer community is very small and gossip-prone: I want to make sure it’s “worth the risk” before even making a profile: There are a lot of comments about how sugar mommies don’t exist, so I presume lesbian sugar babies will take anything they can get, which makes me feel a bit icky. How do I get over that hump? I ideally want to have a “normal relationship” with sugar, especially in terms of a long-term orientation. I’m also worried about attracting straight women who think “a woman is easier because she won’t want sex” or something like that. Lastly, I’ve read a lot of comments about young sugar daddies always being John’s — I make a very comfortable amount and I’m comfortable offering the numbers I’ve seen online, but would my age make this impossible for me. Does my situation help explain my age a bit?
Thank you for reading all this!