40 brittany drive amherst ny
/r/boltaction
2013.03.22 21:50 /r/boltaction
Welcome to /BoltAction! (Konflikt 47' too!) The only sub for the WWII tabletop game, created by Rick Priestley and Alessio Cavatore of ex-Games Workshop fame.
2009.02.24 13:37 4rugga United States Army on Reddit
United States Army on Reddit
2014.07.08 06:40 SouthernDerpfornia Baseball Offseason Simulation for the 2015 season
2023.06.10 18:55 PassedPawn_ [TW: Sexual Abuse] Shedding Light on Sexual Abuse against Boys and Men in India
According to a
national study on child abuse conducted by the Ministry of Women and Child Development in India with the support of UNICEF, Save the Children and Prayas, it was discovered that child sexual abuse is a widespread problem affecting both boys and girls in the country. The study found that boys also face significant sexual abuse, as more than half of the respondents who reported abuse were boys:
A questionnaire was administered to 12,447 children belonging to the five different categories of children in family environment, children in schools, children in institutions, children at work and street children in 13 different states. The major findings of this survey were:
• Out of the total child respondents, 53.22% reported having faced one or more forms of sexual abuse. Among them 52.94% were boys and 47.06% girls.
• The age wise distribution of children reporting sexual abuse in one or more forms showed that though the abuse started at the age of 5 years, it gained momentum 10 years onward, peaking at 12 to 15 years and then starting to decline. This means that children in the teenage years are most vulnerable.
• The significant finding was that contrary to the general perception, the overall percentage of boys was much higher than that of girls.
• In fact 9 out of 13 States reported higher percentage of sexual abuse among boys as compared to girls, with states like Delhi reporting a figure of 65.64%.
• Out of the total child respondents, 20.90% were subjected to severe forms of sexual abuse. Out of these 57.30% were boys and 42.70% were girls.
• 76% children were subjected to other forms of sexual abuse. Out of these 53.07% were boys and 46.93% were girls.
• Assam reported the highest incidence of sexual abuse among both boys and girls. 62.55% boys and 51.19% girls from Assam reported facing one or more forms of sexual abuse, which was highest amongst all the 13 sample states. This was followed by Delhi with 54.66% boys and 22.54% girls and Bihar with 35.89% boys and 30.40% girls reporting high incidence of sexual abuse. The Goa figures of 2.55% boys and 2.17% girls do not seem to be in line with the general perception.
• Across the country, every second child was being subjected to other forms of sexual abuse and every fifth child was facing severe forms of sexual abuse.
• Children on streets, children at work and children in institutional care reported the highest incidents of sexual abuse.
• 77% children did not report the matter to anyone.
• 50% abuses are persons known to the child or in a position of trust and responsibility.
(
https://www.legalserviceindia.com/legal/article-4985-child-sexual-abuse-in-india.html)
The questionnaire relating to young adults looked at sexual assault in two forms: one penetration of anus and vagina by objects, and second penetration by penis and oral sex. Out of the 2324 young adult respondents, 10.33% reported having been subjected to sexual assault of one or both forms. When looked separately, 9.2% of young respondents reported penetration by penis and 7.4% by objects. The high percentage of young adults reporting penetration by an object is a reflection of the brutality perpetrated on children. The gender break up of all young adult respondents having faced sexual assault during childhood revealed that more males (58.33%) faced one or both forms of sexual assault as compared to females (41.67%).
Boys are vulnerable to victimization by both male and female perpetrators, and they usually don't understand that they were sexually abused:
Other interesting findings included that in India, some of the boys in the sample study were abused by women too, which was not found in other participating countries. The India report went further with the narrative of physical strength to include independence and knowledge about how to have sex. Or only in India did some of the respondents state the expectation for men to know about 'how to have sex'. What was suggested in all the reports was that boys do not appear to understand that boys can be sexually abused. They could give examples of sexual abuse, but the focus always appeared to be the abuse of girls. That is, many of the male respondents did not know what they had experienced was abuse, and often what is legally defined as abuse was described by a boy as experimentation or even as transactional.
(
https://www.theweek.in/news/india/2022/04/13/decade-after-pocso-campaign-aims-to-highlight-male-sexual-abuse.html)
Furthermore, there's a harmful stigma associated with male child victims of sexual abuse. While cases of sexual abuse faced by girls are vastly underreported in India, the NCRB data reveals that cases involving boys are substantially more underreported, despite the enactment of gender-neutral child sexual abuse laws:
“Crime in India” 2019 report by The National Crime Record Bureau revealed that registration of cases under the POCSO Act has increased by 18.9 per cent. While, of the 26,192 cases filed under POCSO Act that has rape charges, 25,934 were girls, and only 258 were boys. Even after the implementation of POCSO (gender-neutral law), it can be seen that there is a very low rate of reporting and help-seeking among victims of sexually abused boys in India.
(
https://childsafetyatwork.com/minor-boys-sexual-abuse-an-ignored-reality-in-india/)
The phenomenon of male sexual abuse isn't just confined to the domain of children, either. Delhi-based Centre for Civil Society found that approximately 18% of Indian adult men surveyed reported being coerced or forced to engage in conjugal relations. Of those, 16% claimed a female perpetrator and 2% claimed a male perpetrator.
Source:
A Case for Gender-Neutral Rape Laws in India While we can't say much about the accuracy and conclusions of such surveys, we don't have any official data regarding adult male victims of sexual crimes in India to work with, on account of the failure of our rape and sexual assault laws to recognize them. For a multitude of reasons, there exists a serious scarcity of information about this topic.
Moreover, while discussions on this topic typically center around women, it's worth acknowledging that men also face sexual harassment in significant numbers, as highlighted by the
The Economic Times-Synovate Survey:
In an interesting new trend, a substantial 38% of the respondents agreed that in today’s workplaces, even men are as vulnerable to sexual harassment as women. In Hyderabad and Mumbai, 55% of the respondents agreed to this point. Many of the corporates and PSUs ET spoke to agree to this new trend and point out that many male employees do not come out in the open and file complaints because they feel they will not be believed, considering India’s social beliefs. They usually seek a transfer to get out of the situation or find a new job.
And, in contradiction to prevailing notions, it's not just men who sexually harass; the survey found that female perpetrators of workplace sexual harassment were as prevalent as male ones.
Some more indications:
During Ungender’s brainchild ‘Project Jagruk’, a sensitization and awareness drive regarding the Sexual Harassment of Women at Workplace (Prevention, Prohibition and Redressal) Act, 2013 conducted in Police Stations of South Delhi, many Police personnel wished to know if the act to applied to men as well. Many male victims of sexual harassment had approached them with complaints. When these police personnel were told that the act specifically applied only to women, they wished to know when men would also be protected from sexual harassment.
(
https://www.ungender.in/why-india-inc-needs-to-protect-men-against-sexual-harassment-at-workplaces-in-india-case-for-gender-neutral-policies)
This article on
The Hindu depicts several instances of sexual harassment faced by men including stalking, sexual harassment at workplace and sexual assault.
In India, the issue of sexual harassment against men is customarily overlooked, with a lack of public awareness and recognition of male vulnerability. Moreover, the absence of comprehensive legal frameworks contributes to the culture of silence surrounding male victimhood:
The issue is so entirely neglected in men that even our legal system is obsolete of laws protecting men from sexual harassment. The sexual assault laws of our country have been devised such as that they clearly state their existence exclusively for women. The sections 354, 509, and 376 of the Indian Penal Code which deal with sexual assault, namely, outraging the modesty of a woman, eve teasing and committing rape of a woman, all assume that men cannot be subjected to these crimes. The Vishakha guidelines which aims to prevent sexual harassment in work places are also just limited to women.
“According to the Indian law, modesty, if at all, exists only in women,” says ex-IPS officer Uday Sahai on the issue of male sexual harassment. “The only form in which a wrong sexual advancement on a man is recognized as an offence is as sodomy under the 377 section of the IPC. Apart from that there is no law to punish a person for molesting a man,” he further explains.
(
https://indianexpress.com/article/india/sexual-harassment-of-male-a-reality-but-remains-a-taboo)
Some factors that discourage men from speaking up about their encounters:
The fear of not being taken seriously is not the only reason which prevents men from reporting sexual harassment cases. The fear that a female perpetrator may, in fact, use sexual harassment laws to wrongly implicate the male victim (by alleging that it was the man who sexually harassed her) has led many male victims of sexual harassment to not formally complain.
. . .
The idea that a woman can sexually harass a man is still considered inconceivable in the Indian society. What makes it even more difficult for men to speak about such incidents openly is the tendency of others to perceive male victims of sexual harassment as "feminine" or "weak". The disbelief surrounding sexual harassment of men by women in India can also be attributed to the absence of data/statistics on this issue. This, in turn, becomes a vicious cycle where the fear of being disbelieved may cause a male victim of sexual harassment to not report such incidents, leading to further lack of statistics in such matters.
(
https://www.firstpost.com/india/vijay-nair-sexual-harassment-case-rising-incidents-against-men-emphasise-need-for-gender-neutral-laws-in-india-3452286.html)
In 2016, the University Grants Commission issued
regulations stating that sexual harassment is a gender-neutral issue, recognizing that male students are equally susceptible to various forms of sexual harassment, just like their female and transgender counterparts. Although this is only applicable to institutions of higher education, it's still a positive development. Additionally, Wipro Technologies and Infosys in Bangalore have gender-neutral complaint committees. It's also worth noting that around 77 countries have already embraced gender-neutral laws. Given the international progress, it's long overdue for India to follow suit.
As a final note, I feel strongly about this subject because, as a male, I've personally been a target of sexual misconduct. I've come across many other men who have reported similar experiences, and I hope that more men feel comfortable sharing their stories so that the distorted narrative of sexual abuse can eventually be challenged.
submitted by
PassedPawn_ to
IndiaSpeaks [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 18:52 TurkeyBaconALGOcado 2005 PepsiCo employee benefits. How do your current premiums and coverages compare?
2023.06.10 18:49 Paul-Belgium 1989 Jensen Car Stereo Ad.
2023.06.10 18:45 otisappleoat New to PC’s! Need help with my budget PC build
I am building a PC and this will be my first PC build. I am wondering if these components would work well together for streaming and playing games like Valorant, Minecraft, and other FPS games like COD or Apex. I am also specifically wondering if every component is compatible with each other and the case. This is also meant to be a budget build and is supposed to cost around $1300. If you think there is something I could do differently please suggest.
Here are the specs:
• Corsair iCUE 5000X RGB Tempered Glass Mid-Tower ATX PC Smart Case - White (Case)
• Intel Core i5 Core 12400F Desktop Processor 18M Cache, up to 4.40 GHz (CPU)
• GIGABYTE Z790 AORUS Elite AX (LGA 1700/ Intel Z790/ ATX/ DDR5/ Quad M.2/ PCIe 5.0/ USB 3.2 Gen2X2 Type-C/Intel WiFi 6E/ 2.5GbE LAN/Q-Flash Plus/PCIe EZ-Latch/Gaming Motherboard) (Motherboard)
• CORSAIR VENGEANCE RGB DDR5 RAM 32GB (2x16GB) 5200MHz CL40 Intel XMP iCUE Compatible Computer Memory - White (CMH32GX5M2B5200C40W) (RAM)
• ZOTAC Gaming GeForce RTX™ 3060 Ti Twin Edge OC LHR 8GB GDDR6 256-bit 14 Gbps PCIE 4.0 Graphics Card, IceStorm 2.0 Advanced Cooling, Active Fan Control, Freeze Fan Stop ZT-A30610H-10MLHR (GPU)
• DeepCool AK620 CPU Air Cooler High-Performance 260w TDP 6 Copper Heat Pipes Dual-Tower CPU Cooler with Fans Each 120mm PWM 1850RPM 68.99CFM for Intel LGA 1700/1200/1151/1150/1155 AMD AM5/AM4 (CPU Cooler)
• WD_BLACK 1TB SN770 NVMe Internal Gaming SSD Solid State Drive - Gen4 PCIe, M.2 2280, Up to 5,150 MB/s - WDS100T3X0E (SSD)
• Corsair CX550F RGB, 550 Watt, 80 PLUS Bronze, Fully Modular RGB Power Supply (PSU
Thanks!
submitted by
otisappleoat to
PcBuild [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 18:28 FckResell Drive-by shooting during a local news interview in Rochester Ny
| Two members of the13WHAM News team were conducting an interview on Rosewood Terrace in Rochester this afternoon when an apparent drive-by shooting rang out nearby. The crew is OK and no one was injured. submitted by FckResell to PublicFreakout [link] [comments] |
2023.06.10 18:25 sarcasticj720 What could've been done differently?
| Just looking for some input, I'm having a good time with the build. I shoot around 57 percent from 3 and 55 overall from the field submitted by sarcasticj720 to NBA2k [link] [comments] |
2023.06.10 18:24 drawnmarlin088 Spiny Splash x Clickbait
Solid 8/10, would mix again!!
submitted by
drawnmarlin088 to
GFUEL [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 18:23 OverallCar1646 I’m so excited for season two of the TryPod!
2023.06.10 18:20 GoldenDice101 Possibly my most broken build in MV so far
2023.06.10 18:20 Big_idea_005 Monroe County John & Jane Doe (1975)
This is a case I'd come across on NamUs a while back before it was added to Doe Network in April last year and it hasn't gotten a lot of attention.
On March 15, 1975, the badly beaten and dismembered bodies of a man and a woman were found in the bushes 400 feet from Loop Road, officially County Road 94, 5 miles south of the Tamiami Trail in the Big Cypress Swamp of Monroe County, Florida. Both had been fatally beaten with a blunt object, cut in half, placed into 4 green garbage bags, and then the garbage bags were put into 4 unmarked canvas duffel bags. Their hands were missing, likely to prevent fingerprinting. The man was bound with a cord, and the woman was handcuffed (they were cheap Japanese-made handcuffs), both then being murdered "execution style". Both had been dead for 4 weeks by the time of discovery.
The man was white, 40-50 years old, 5'10" (estimated), 145-150 lbs. (145 lbs. estimated per NamUs), with reddish brown hair and possibly a beard. His eye color could not be determined. The woman was also white, 30-40 years old, 5'4" (estimated), 120-130 lbs. (125 lbs. estimated per NamUs), with light brown or blond hair. Her eye color was also undetermined. Neither had any distinguishing marks or features; the man was edentulous with healed-over gums, and the woman's teeth showed a lack of care in later years although she had extensive dental work done prior.
The man was wearing a white "Catalina" size M knit shirt and size 32 khaki or green L.L. Bean shorts with another label (store label per Doe Network) "Yodel Britches". The woman was wearing a white "Dunofold, Inc." v-neck athletic shirt with a red, white, and blue ribbed collar, a small black and gold eagle embossed on the left front, and a store label for Stan Smith in Mohawk, NY, size medium baggy white muslin calf-length pants, and red knee-high socks. Neither had any underwear or shoes.
The status of their DNA is unknown, and their fingerprints are not available due to their hands having been removed.
Investigators believe the couple were originally from the Northeast based on their clothes and possibly hippies due to their lack of underwear. The clothes definitely seem definitely northeastern to me but the lack of underwear alone doesn't point me towards them having been hippies.
As with many cases found in the Everglades and Big Cypress, there's a good chance they were killed in the urban areas along the East Coast (Miami, Fort Lauderdale, etc.) and then driven inland to hide their bodies although the West Coast (Naples, Fort Myers, etc.) shouldn't be ruled out either. (This isn't explicitly stated anywhere I've seen, but based on similar cases this is likely what I think happened.) Loop Road itself goes through the southern end of Big Cypress National Preserve and, to my understanding, doesn't see a lot of traffic apart from park visitors and hikers going to the Florida Trail, the southern end of which is directly on the road. Loop Road is also unpaved and some areas can get difficult to drive through with weather.
There are no exclusions for the man, but 2 for the woman:
Pamela Nater (1966) and
Brenda Lefler (1974).
Any ideas or theories on who they were, why they were killed, or who could've done it? Leave a comment if so.
Male:
Doe Network/
NamUs Female:
Doe Network/
NamUs submitted by
Big_idea_005 to
gratefuldoe [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 18:13 reshsafari Want to upgrade a new car
In august 2022 I bought a GV70 2023. Cost was 55k plus nyc taxes. Total was roughly 60k. I put down 20k and financed around $40,300 at 4.29% interest.
I did get some damage on the car. I hit a dog that ran into the street. Repair cost $1700. The damage was only to bumper and molding/fendor.
After driving it for a while with a baby, I’m finding that the size of the car is a bit smaller than I’d like. I wanted to bump up to a gv80 that would fit better for my family needs. Let’s assume the GV80 is around the same price point.
So here I am, asking you fine people how I can go about this, and how I can calculate how much money I would ‘lose’ if I followed through.
Household income is 180k. Savings per month after every thing is paid is around 5k. Will be close to 6k savings/month in a month or so.
submitted by
reshsafari to
askcarsales [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 18:08 reshsafari Trading in a car. How do I calculate how much loss?
In august 2022 I bought a GV70 2023. Cost was 55k plus nyc taxes. Total was roughly 60k. I put down 20k and financed around $40,300 at 4.29% interest.
I did get some damage on the car. I hit a dog that ran into the street. Repair cost $1700. The damage was only to bumper and molding/fendor.
After driving it for a while with a baby, I’m finding that the size of the car is a bit smaller than I’d like. I wanted to bump up to a gv80 that would fit better for my family needs. Let’s assume the GV80 is around the same price point.
So here I am, asking you fine people how I can go about this, and how I can calculate how much money I would ‘lose’ if I followed through.
Household income is 180k. Savings per month after every thing is paid is around 5k. Will be close to 6k savings/month in a month or so.
submitted by
reshsafari to
personalfinance [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 18:04 sebastro7 Need help (2003 Sequoia)
My 2003 Toyota Sequoia doesn’t want to accelerate after about 40 minutes of driving. It drives fine at first. I’ve replaced the MAF sensor, throttle body, fuel pump, fuel filter, tested the ecu module, and it doesn’t give any codes on the scanners. I would appreciate any help.
submitted by
sebastro7 to
toyotasequoia [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 18:01 paigfife UPDATE to I am planning on quitting in the next month. Is it wrong that I want NK13 to hear it from me first? - plus other stories
Here is the previous post where I asked if it was okay to tell NK13 I was quitting before telling NPs because I wanted her to hear it from me. Mixed responses, but ultimately it didn't matter because I got fired! Hooray. Honestly, I'm not too upset about it, her parents are dreadful.
Sorry in advance, this is a LONG one. TL;DR: NF paid me a salary instead of GHs, didn't reimburse mileage, and started asking me to work more and more hours than originally agreed. Tensions built up over time, it all came to a head in the past month and things became pretty hostile. My car broke down 2 weeks ago, it's been in the shop ever since. I'd been borrowing my sister's car up until Tuesday, but she needed it back. I had no problem getting to and from work, my husband could drop me off/pick me up, but I had absolutely no option for a car yesterday for driving NK to her activities. I told NPs that I didn't have any realistic options and they asked me to rent a car. I stood up for myself, said not unless they were reimbursing me for the rental, and MB got pissed off and told me to just stay home. This is when I decided I needed to quit. DB got home today after work and fired me. He claimed it had nothing to do with my car breaking down or about the car rental thing (yeah right) but that it was just time for NK13 to no longer have a nanny. I think it's true that she doesn't really need a nanny anymore anyway, but you really can't deny that timing. They asked me to finish out the month, so at least I'll have some cushion until I can find a job.
Now let me tell you everything that led up to this moment... It's better if I give you some background info first. I have been a nanny for only a short while; I babysat and did some part-time nannying in the past, but I only became an actual full-time nanny in Dec. 2021. I started working for this NF in May 2022, so a little over a year now. I also have a young son - he's 3.5 now but was barely 2 when I started.
I found this family by looking on a local childcare Facebook group. NF's previous nanny was helping them look for a new nanny because she had to leave. She actually also had a young child, so it was a very similar situation. She was very specific in her post (I still have the screenshot, so I'm certain) that they were looking for a nanny willing to work long hours in the summer and shorter hours in the school year for G12, and since she is an older child, it's more of a house managefamily assistant type job. Summer hours start at 7:30am and can last as late as 7:30pm - schedule was very variable because they are both physicians and never really know when they were able to leave - but often she'd be relieved before then, sometimes as early as 3 or 4 pm. School year hours were much more flexible, Old Nanny (ON) said she'd get there around noon since G12 was in school. She did her house management tasks, picked her up from school, cooked her dinner, and would be relieved soon after.
When I reached out to Old Nanny to apply for this position, I was already a little desperate. My previous NF had just told me they were putting G2 in daycare and wouldn't need me, I had been looking for families that would be okay with me bringing my son and no one was interested in that. So I was getting very worried about paying bills and needed something ASAP.
After I interviewed, they said they wanted to pay me a salary. This should've been my first big red flag, but again, desperate. They explained they thought that was better than hourly because they would often come home much earlier than they planned and didn't want me to lose out on money. I essentially thought that it was basically just guaranteed hours, and since they got home early most of the time, there was no way they'd take advantage of me! (spoiler: they did)
The next should've-been-red flag was that they didn't want a contract because they're so easy and flexible and that they would always work with me if I was sick or needed time off. (spoiler: they didn't)
The thing is, I *knew* all of this wasn't okay and were huge red flags. But I was naive and thought that wouldn't be an issue for me and this new family that seems soooo amazing. (lol)
Anyway, moving on... The first several months seemed really great! I was getting along amazingly with NK, we were still getting to know each other, and I was still getting acquainted with the job, but MB just seemed...disappointed with everything. Most of the house management type stuff was really closer to personal assistant stuff for her and she is very nit-picky and micromanage-y. She'd tell me pretty much daily that I missed a hanger or two when organizing her closet. She wanted all her laundry to be done at all times (this woman goes through more laundry than anyone I know). She repeatedly told me I needed to tri-fold the towels (I was tri-folding!). She also had these insanely long to-do lists for the both of us. Since NK was only 12, I had to pretty much supervise her to make sure it got done. MB would even remind me to make sure I am helping her. So now I had my to-do list and also NK's to-do list to complete. Of course, this is all while caring for 2 kids, taking the 2 big dogs for long walks around the block several times a day (because I wasn't allowed to let them in the backyard to pee), feeding all of us breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and chauffeuring NK to all of her activities. Even in my 10-12 hour shifts, I wouldn't always get everything done because there was just so much to do. But if I even left something to finish the next day, MB would passive-aggressively point it out and ask for it to get finished (of course I'm going to finish it, there's no need to remind me ugh).
Oh and the best part!!!!! I never got reimbursed for mileage. I asked for it once the first month that I worked there and DB has the freaking audacity to be like "you mean from your house??" Bruh NO for all the driving you make me do to cart your child around! He ended up giving me like 5 bucks because I took her to the airport once and I never heard a word about it again. I know I should've insisted....but again, naive and desperate.
Moving on, MB started to truly show her helicopter parenting side. Some of you may or may not remember my post from last year asking
if I was wrong to refuse to monitor G12's bathroom time. The consensus was that I was not wrong and it was super weird of her mom to ask that.
Later, I found out from some things NK said that led me to believe that
they were homophobic. You can really see the denial in this one. Ugh.
As time went on, things seemed pretty normal for a while. There were a couple of times I needed time off. The biggest was when my husband had a mental health crisis and I ended up in the ER twice with him - which I only took like 2 days off for btw. MB sent me this really kind and heartfelt email saying she's thinking of us and hope everything is okay. I (stupidly) decided to be honest and tell her that it was mental health-related thinking that she'd have some empathy. After I replied, I heard absolutely nothing from them about it. Not a single question as to his well-being or anything. The others were just for regular illness. I had covid once, adenovirus another time, and hand-foot-mouth the most recent. My son started preschool, so I was sick often, but only took time off for the big ones.
Sometimes I had time off because they went on vacation, but would just they
never tell me when they were going on vacation. Definitely strange, but speaks more to their disregard for other people than to the actual job itself.
During the school year, I stopped coming in at 7:30am like planned. It varied depending on what was on the schedule for the day, but I'd get in between 10am-noon most days. Again, just like the job was described to me. They never told me any differently either - keep in mind this was still earlier than Old Nanny used to arrive for the day, so I was really working more hours than she used to.
At Christmastime, I thought I'd get a bonus. That was something Old Nanny had mentioned, she said they gave pretty generous Christmas bonuses, so I was looking forward to that. I didn't get a bonus at all, not even a single mention of one. But I didn't say anything because I felt weird about asking for one. This is when I started thinking maybe I wasn't doing something right or that they didn't like me. I asked them several times if they thought I was doing a good job, if they had any feedback, etc, but always said no that I was doing a great job. I could tell MB probably didn't particularly like me but that seemed more just personality differences. She even stopped nit-picking the hangers and towels thing.
Last month,
they forgot my birthday. This one really hurt, ngl. My birthday is right before NK's and we've all talked about it several times before.
Finally, the major conflict... This is when I really felt like things were tense and I should start putting feelers out there for a new job. MB asked me to clean and organize the playroom. Now that sounds pretty normal for a house manager, but this playroom was completely destroyed. They had just had NK's bedroom remodeled for her 13th birthday and there were boxes upon boxes piled high (most filled with styrofoam and packing peanuts). Plus they had some of her old furniture in there as well. Plus TONS of toys that she clearly hadn't played with in many many years. Boxes and boxes of half-used crafts, puzzles, barbies, legos, crayons & markers, a whole sewing kit, and tons of baby books on the bookshelf. The part that really killed me was that she wanted me to have the whole thing completed by Friday - so I only had 4 full days to complete the entire playroom (I have every Wednesday off). She even said that I could pack all the books and old toys up to take to Goodwill... She wanted me to carry them down 2 flights of stairs BY MYSELF and pack them in the car BY MYSELF and take them to Goodwill or to a used bookstore to sell. After going through all the initial boxes the first day, I almost broke down in tears when DB came home and told him I just couldn't do it all by Friday. It was too much. I'm just one person and I almost slipped and fell down the stairs when I tried lugging the vacuum cleaner upstairs by myself, there's no way I could do boxes of heavy-ass books. He seemed understanding and said it was okay, but I'm sure it was all fake.
Then my 1-year work anniversary was also last month. I thought this would be a great opportunity to discuss how things are going. I asked NPs if they had any feedback for me or if I could be doing anything different. I tried everything to get them to say ANYTHING, but all MB said was "Well, NK loves you!!" Not a single useful bit of feedback. I ended up bringing up the playroom and said that I felt like her expectations were sometimes a bit too high. I tried to say this as nicely as possible, but it did not go over well. She basically just said, "Well that's what I hired you for." I ended the conversation by asking for a raise because it's been a year now and my job description has really been changing and they've been adding more and more hours on. I asked for an additional $300/month, and they countered with $150.
That night, MB texted me and asked what time I planned on coming in the following Monday. NK was still in school, so I responded with "around 10 am." She called me at 7:30 am (!!!) the next morning and asked why I was going in so late... I said well NK is still in school and that's my normal time. She ended up laying into me claiming that's never what they agreed to, she thought this whole time that I was coming in at 8 am every day (lies), and that no wonder I couldn't get anything done because I came in so late. I was taken aback, to say the least. I don't do well on the spot like that and I started crying (I'm a crier, I hate it) and was like well that's not what I was originally told when I was hired and that they never told me any differently. Also, this is the first time I've heard about not getting anything done. She started telling me that she hired me because she wants the house to look perfect by the time she gets home and it never looks perfect. There's always something left undone and it's unacceptable that I'm not coming in earlier to make sure it gets done on time. I told her that this was all news to me and that she never told me that she was unhappy, even after I asked them specifically to give me feedback. She said she doesn't like confrontation or having hard conversations so that's why she never told me. Which is definitely not my problem, that's on her. But I was too emotional at this point to say that and I ended up apologizing even though I know I didn't do anything wrong. She ended the conversation by saying I am expected to put in a full 40 hrs year round (but really she wants me to be available 12 hrs a day in case they get stuck at the hospital) and that she'll try to be a better communicator.
OH one thing that really stood out to me was that she actually said to me that they pay me a lot of money and they want to make sure they're getting their "money's worth." As if I'm a product. I've never felt so inhuman. For the record, they do NOT pay me a lot of money. They paid me $3700/month before my raise, which equates to $28/hr for 30 hrs a week. Seems reasonable. But she wanted me to start coming in for a full 40 hrs even during the school year, which would effectively lower my hourly equivalent to $22/hr. Even lower if you're counting needing to be "on-call" 48 hrs a week. NOT enough for the job I was doing, and especially not for a HCOL area.
Now the straw that broke the camel's back. My car. My poor car broke down more than 2 weeks ago. It's been at the dealership this whole time (I still don't have it back, hopefully today) and I've been getting away with borrowing my sister's and BIL's cars to drive NK around. I would have loved to borrow my husband's car, but his car is a manual transmission and I can't drive stick. My sister needed her car back this week, so I was able to borrow it up until Wednesday, meaning I'd be without a car Thursday and Friday this week. Just 2 days out of the two weeks my car was getting repaired. Wednesday night I texted NPs asking if I could use DB's truck to drive NK, but he had taken it because he went out of town. MB needs her car each day. I ran out of options and told them I didn't have any other realistic options and wasn't sure what else to do. I reiterated that I could still get to and from work each day with no issue, just couldn't drive NK to her theater practice. Which honestly is such a minimal part of my day anyway. Well, I suppose that was unacceptable and MB asked me to rent a car. The audacity of this request really threw me off... I replied "Will this be reimbursed since it's a work-related expense? If not, then no, I do not have the funds to rent a car." She said "No, I'm not paying for a rental car. Just stay home and I'll figure it out." These people make $100s of thousands of dollars each year..... $120 for a rental car is practically an entire day's worth of pay to me, but just a drop in the bucket to them. Why she thought it was acceptable for me to spend my own money to rent a car, but ridiculous for them to, is beyond me. I sent a thumbs-up and never heard anything back from them.
The next day (yesterday) I knew I had to quit, which is what led me to my most recent post. I still haven't found a replacement job so I wasn't just about to quit then and there. But it ended up not mattering because DB asked to pull me aside before I left yesterday to fire me. I told him that I thought it was really unfair to ask me to spend my own money to rent a car but he said that it was part of the job and if you're unable to do the job, then it's my responsibility to fix the situation. I replied saying that they don't even pay me mileage so I'm already paying out of pocket to drive THEIR kid around. He said that if they'd known it was such a big deal beforehand that they would've let me use his truck more often (I did mention it, but probably should've pressed the issue). I told him that it was not like I wanted my car to break down... He said this ultimately had nothing to do with the car thing (yeah right lmao) and that it's just time for NK to no longer have a nanny. Which I completely agree with, but the timing dude. Also, I was hardly a nanny at that point anyway, just a housekeeper and chauffeur.
In the end, I think the real reason they decided to fire me is because I had the audacity to stand up for myself and ask for a raise. The car thing just accelerated it. There were definitely some personality differences and I don't think MB really liked me to begin with, but she put up with me because NK loved me. But as soon as I started realizing my worth, I became too much to deal with.
SO ANYWAY... Here we are today and I am absolutely kicking myself for putting up with this for so long. Luckily, my son is in preschool full-time now, so I will have a much easier time finding a new job. I've been looking into agencies as well. I'm kind of relieved but also really sad that I won't see NK every day anymore. She is a very special kid.
submitted by
paigfife to
Nanny [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 17:58 Shade30z FS - Charlie Sheen “Wild Thing” Vivid Auto /40 - $85 or best offer. Thank you!
2023.06.10 17:58 Raelinana Help, my hog has been bitten
submitted by
Raelinana to
DOG [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 17:56 Lyriqueizmuziq I'm not quitting, but at the same time... I don't get it
I'm finding dating to be really hard. Despite my best efforts on the apps or in person, I don't get a lot of options. I live in Portland, and I don't get a lot of matches, which in itself is not a problem. I don't want anything to contribute to an inflated ego or have me turn into one of those dudes that match just to not answer. But 99% of the time, that's what I end up getting. The ones that do swipe right usually don't answer, so I just unmatch, or have no tact and open with sexual questions, which is an instant unmatch from me. It's so bad that I end up cycling through the same guys that I end up swipping left on multiple times. I've also gone to gay bars, and tried mingling, and casually approaching guys I was interested in, but I have really bad luck because each guy I asked already had boyfriends lol!
The reason i'm typing this though is because of what happened last Thursday. I signed up for a speed dating event which was scheduled way too early in the evening at 7pm and they wanted you to be there 1 minutes early. Not enough time to get home from work, bath, groom up and then drive downtown, but I somehow manage to do it because I skip dinner. I show up to the venue, and there a few no shows. The ones that did show up weren't my type. I almost left, but I decided to stay because I wanted to expand my horizons, and i'm natural at socializing. The first guy I met with was actually decent. He was bald, bearded, and had a nice blue polo shirt. Handsome, I want to say early 40's. We both recently got to the better part of our fitness goals, he was formally 260lbs where I was 220, and we were both exchanging fitness routines and other interests. Everyone else I had great conversations with as well, but they weren't options I was interested in. The event ended, and I sent my submission via text. This was basically like Tinder, but IRL. The next day I get an email with my reults. No matches. I'm not to phased by that experience in and of itself, but I just hate that there is so many limited options where I'm at. Being on reddit also sort of reinforces this as well. I put some posts on here every once in a while, and other than my physique transformation post, I don't get a lot of upvotes, which is okay. At the same time though, when you put all these things together, it just makes me question if I will ever find anyone that is genuinly interested in me that I am interested in. Can any of you guys relate?
submitted by
Lyriqueizmuziq to
gaybros [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 17:53 sebastro7 Need help (2003 Sequoia)
My 2003 Toyota Sequoia doesn’t want to accelerate after about 40 minutes of driving. It drives fine at first. I’ve replaced the MAF sensor, throttle body, fuel pump, fuel filter, tested the ecu module, and it doesn’t give any codes on the scanners. I would appreciate any help.
submitted by
sebastro7 to
Toyota [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 17:51 bestname_ever55 I love Aviation watches
2023.06.10 17:47 grimple777 Direct dial dissappearing
2023.06.10 17:45 NFCAAOfficialRefBot [POST GAME THREAD] Ohio defeats Kent State, 21-20
Ohio Ohio @
Kent State Kent State Game Start Time: 12:00 PM ET
Location: Dix Stadium, Kent, OH
Watch: Peacock Ohio Ohio
Total Passing Yards | Total Rushing Yards | Total Yards | Interceptions Lost | Fumbles Lost | Field Goals | Time of Possession | Timeouts |
142 yards | 116 yards | 258 yards | 0 | 2 | 0/1 | 7:40 | 1 |
Kent State Kent State
Total Passing Yards | Total Rushing Yards | Total Yards | Interceptions Lost | Fumbles Lost | Field Goals | Time of Possession | Timeouts |
225 yards | 101 yards | 326 yards | 0 | 0 | 2/3 | 20:14 | 0 |
Game thread
Plays
Game complete, Ohio wins!
submitted by
NFCAAOfficialRefBot to
FakeCollegeFootball [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 17:39 SnooLentils5596 Flying with Panic Disorder
Before developing PD I was able to fly all the time. However, the last 4 years have been rough. Even the thought of flying freaks me out. I need to travel from NY to Texas and driving is out of the window. It's just too far.
I was thinking of maybe a combination of flying and driving. So drive like 8 hours and pick up a flight approx. 2 hours from my location in Texas and splitting those 2 hours into 2 flights. I feel like if the flight was around 60-70 minutes, I could bare it with the help of Xanax. So for example.
Fly out of Columbus to Nashville, then Nashville to Dallas. Has anybody tried splitting flights up instead of taking longer flights?
I hate being trapped and all, so I am wondering if shorter flights would help due to decrease exposure time in air.
submitted by
SnooLentils5596 to
panicdisorder [link] [comments]